Heeeeyy! New chapter of Change is up!

Enjoy!

(Logan POV)

I continued crying until I trusted my voice enough to speak. "Kendall?" I asked softly. My voice was still cracking and raspy, which just made me feel worse. "Can we go now?"

Kendall looked at me kindly, but not in a pitying way, like the looks I got from most people. "Sure," he said. "Where to?"

I thought about that for a moment. I didn't want to go to my house and I sure as hell didn't want to stay at the hospital, so I simply said, "Anywhere."

To me, his reaction was slightly unexpected. He didn't look at me like I was crazy but he nodded and suggested we go to his house so I could 'clean up.' When I looked at him questioningly, he gestured to the small mirror in the bathroom next to my dad's bed. I got up, walked over to the mirror, and gasped. My eyes were red and puffy and my hair lost its sheen. I never let myself get like that, unless I'm in the privacy of my own home.

I felt something at my hand, and I realized it was Kendall. He was holding my hand again. I smiled inwardly. "C'mon," he said, tugging my hand. "Let's go."

I just followed him and walked down the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He still hadn't let go of my hand, and if it had been any other day of my life I would've grinned like an idiot. But my hand in his didn't send as much of a thrill as it might've if my dad hadn't been dying.

We met Lucy near the exit. She had her purse and backpack so I assumed she was on her way home, too.

"Hey guys," she said. She raised her eyebrows a little when she saw that Kendall and I were holding hands. I felt Kendall's hand leave mine, and I have to say, that kind of hurt. Of all of the days in his lifetime, he chose that certain day not to be there for me. "Do you two want a ride?" Lucy offered.

Kendall looked to me, but I didn't acknowledge him. I just nodded and the three of us headed out the door. I heard Kendall sigh behind me, but I tried not to think about it much. I really wanted to take his hand again, but I was sure he would just pull it away, and I couldn't take much more before I burst into tears again.

The ride to Kendall's house was slow, silent, and ridiculously awkward. I could tell Lucy was preoccupied with driving and looking in the rear-view mirror to check on me, and Kendall was busy trying to get me to look at him, so I ignored him and just stared aimlessly out the window and tried as hard as I could to get the image of my dad out of my head. It was terrible to look at.

Eventually, we made it to Kendall's house in one piece. Lucy said goodbye to us both and gave me one of those bone-crushing hugs that women always give. I think she meant to make me feel better, but she really just made my back hurt.

After she left, I walked into Kendall's house without even turning to look at him. He sighed again, but it made me feel awful. I knew I should've just talked to him and sorted things out, but after all that had happened that day, I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything.

Kendall followed me to his room, but I veered right and went straight into the bathroom. I probably looked really terrible.

Then, I heard a garage door open and realized that it was probably Kendall's parents. I knew that his dad usually got home at about this time, because whenever I came over after school, he was home in about ten minutes.

I turned to the mirror and stared at my complexion for a good five minutes, feeling nothing. I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face, hoping for something, anything good to happen.

(Kendall POV)

As I was walking out of my room, I ran smack into someone. I figured it was Logan, but when I looked up, it was my dad.

He seemed just as confused as I was. "Hello, Kendall," he said, looking at his watch. "You're home early."

"Uh," I stammered. "Yeah, well, Logan had a, uh," I paused again, thinking about how I could possibly put the situation into words. "Logan had a situation at home, so we decided to come here."

My dad appeared to be thinking about something and I didn't even know if he was listening to me. "Which one is Logan again?" he asked. I sighed. My dad was always getting my friends mixed up, which generally confused me because I only had two friends. And they were completely different from each other. My dad looked at me long and hard. "Is Logan the one with the glasses?" he asked. I didn't even know who that was. He was probably was thinking of one of Katie's friends.

"No, he-"

Dad cut me off, "Oh, he's the queer one, right?"I winced at the word 'queer.' It seemed like an odd way to describe Logan, though it was completely accurate. My dad could've said 'homosexual' or 'gay' But, no, he chose 'queer; so I just nodded my head.

He looked like he was about to say something else but stopped and looked over my shoulder at something. I turned around and saw Logan, all cleaned up, walking down the hallway.

"Hello there, Logan," my dad said, smiling.

Logan nodded curtly at him, looking pissed at me and depressed about life in general.

"If you don't mind me asking," Dad began. "What happened that made you two come here? Kendall said you had a situ-"

"-Dad! I really need to talk to you about something," I interrupted. I hadn't been very helpful to Logan in the past hour, and I thought the least I could do was explain what happened so he didn't have to. "It's really really important," I added.

My dad looked even more confused now, but he nodded and walked towards the library. I looked back at Logan and he mouthed 'thank you' to me. I smiled and followed my dad.

When we got to the library, he looked at me suspiciously. "Kendall," he said. "What's going on?"

I quickly and quietly explained to him what happened to Logan's dad. He didn't say or do much, but he nodded a lot. When I was finished, he suggested calmly that Logan stay the night, which was not what I was expecting at all. He didn't take much interest in my friends, most of the time anyways, but I guess today was different… because of Logan's dad.

My dad went and got Logan an extra toothbrush and some sweat pants. Logan looked grateful to stay at my house, but he didn't say so. I could see it in his eyes that he was still very upset. Anyone would be upset.

We went into my room and sat on my dinky little bed. He still wasn't looking at me, and it was making me hate myself. I should've sucked it up and held his damn hand, just like I should've kissed him back at his house. That seemed like days ago, when, in reality, it was only a few hours.

"Logan," I said gently. "I know this is probably the last thing on your mind, but I really want to apologize for the way I was acting back there…"

He finally looked at me and I nearly sighed when I saw how vulnerable he looked. He seemed like a kicked puppy. "It's ok, really," he said. "I'm not mad. I actually understand how you feel right now," he went on. I loved the sound of his voice… "You don't want to admit that you're gay and I know-"

"Whoa, wait," I said. He raised a startled eyebrow at me and I continued. "I'm not… gay. It's just my hormones messing with my head." Immediately I knew I had said the wrong thing.

Logan was genuinely surprised and hurt that I had said something like that. "Kendall, you're in denial," he said angrily. "How could this have anything to do with your hormones?"

I stuttered, thinking. There was no way to make any sense of what I had just said, so I shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Look," he said, his voice sounding gentler this time. "I know exactly how you feel, but you're going to have to face the truth eventually."

I shrugged again, emitting a sigh from Logan.

"Actually," he said. "Can we not talk about this right now? I kinda just want to sit around and do nothing." I nodded, knowing what he meant. He thought for a moment before asking, "If I cry again, will you still hold my hand?"

"Of course," I said, after much debate. And I felt so ashamed of myself for being awful and stubborn. I could tell that he was just trying to help me, and that he liked me, but thinking of being gay was too much for me at the moment. I wanted to sit around and do nothing, too. And I had just the right person to do nothing with.

Hope you guys liked it :D

Please review!

Best regards,

Lacey