Author'sNote: TherewillbenoAuthor'sNoteforthisstory.Oh..wait.Nevermind.LegalatBottom.
##############################D
ON BEYOND WRONGSICK
by SHADO COMMANDER
And the body count continues with thirteen more Kimmie-Kut-Ups
Chapter Three – Kim-Day the 13th!
##############################D
1
The psychologist looked at the pale young girl sitting across from him, a girl who was justifiably bitter about literally turning green due the strange radiation that she and her brothers had been exposed to… but it was his job to make her see the bright side of her strange predicament. "So, Shego, did you think about the assignment I gave you last time and come up with something GOOD that will happen as a result of your new powers?"
The girl gave him a snide roll of the eyes and with one glowing hand indicated the bandages covering the upper part of her left lip to the top of her left nostril. "Yeah, it's going to make giving up picking my nose a hell of a lot easier."
##############################D
2
"So, yeah, they've got me playing mostly nekkid Orion slave girls in the new Trek films," Shego sighed as she and Kim swapped stories after unexpectedly meeting in a rather dubious Hollywood bar.
Kim gave her former arch-rival (who was looking more and more attractive with each Margarita she downed) a sympathetic nod, then dumped out her own tale of woe. "Yeah, well at least people can see your face… thanks to my fricking Disney contract I still owe the Mouse another hundred days of work, and since that fish-bitch Ariel has decided she won't transform to human anymore, they've got me working as her nude body double for all the sex scenes in LITTLE MERMAID 9: SMELLS LIKE TUNA."
##############################D
3
Irritably, Drew Lipsky, aka Dr. Drakken, tugged at the uncomfortable hairpiece on his chin as he looked at his equally jaded partner. "I hate to admit it, but I really miss back when we had to fight Kim Possible every week instead of… THIS."
Sighing, Electronique merely nodded in resignation as she adjusted her blonde Smurfette wig and dropped down to her knees in front of him as Drakken dropped his pants on the set of SMURF-PORN 16. "Golly Papa Smurf, is this the magic flute we've heard so much about?"
##############################D
4
Dr. Anne Possible lay on the hotel bed, sweat drenched and steaming after yet another incredible session of 'afternoon delight,' but as drained as she was there was something she had to say. "We need to be more careful… James came by the hospital to surprise me for lunch yesterday and I had to concoct a quick story about having run out to buy a present for a colleague who's leaving."
"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about your husband getting wise… I mean, he still hasn't figured out that Kim isn't his daughter after all these years, right?" Clark Kent smiled as he started to pull his pants back on... then thought better of it and slid back into the bed for one more round.
##############################D
5
"Okay boys, that's enough warm-up with Pinkie Pie and Coconut Cream, it's time for your big scene with Knight Shade!" Director Joss Possible ordered from her control booth at Dog And Pony Show Productions.
"This sucks, seriously," Motor Ed said with a resigned sigh as he and Will Du dropped their pants and waited with trembling hindquarters as the large mechanical RoboPony of Knight Shade with its truly terrifying thirty inch hydraulic male appendage was rolled into position on the set of 'BRONIE BOYS DO CANTERLOT.'
##############################D
6
Once Bonnie started dating Senor Senior Junior, the other cheerleaders were surprisingly quick to follow suit, with Hope revving up Motor Ed's engines, Jessica going clubbing with Duff Killigan and Crystal forming a deep relationship with Aviarius, who, as she said "May be twice my age, but his bird fixation means he knows how to lay a girl properly and he can do amazing tricks with his pecker."
However, it was generally agreed that it was Tara who had scored the real jackpot, as while her new beau wasn't much of a conversationalist, she was quick to admit: "You'd be amazed at the things a Monkey Ninja can do with a banana and that prehensile tail!"
##############################D
7
"I don't understand dear, I took a Viagra!" Mr. Stoppable stammered.
"Well, it seems that not all of you can work anywhere, Mr. Actuary," Mrs. Stoppable growled, crawling down from the top of their new refrigerator, which was the only surface in the Stoppable household upon which they hadn't had sex, and headed for the closet where her back up option was cleverly hidden in a box labeled 'office supplies- dicta-phone.'
##############################D
8
"It's impossible… there's no way I could be beaten!" Shego gasped in shock as, for the first time since she'd started competing, the grand prize at the Go City Blue Flamers Fart lighting contest looked destined to go to somebody else.
A smirking Ron Stoppable, whose mind-boggling 19 foot blue geyser had put even Shego's 14 foot plasma far to shame, grinned at the green villain. "Twenty seven bean, cabbage, cauliflower and cheese nacos with a corn and egg salad chaser, but if you think THAT was something, wait 'til Kim has her shot… she matched me bite for bite and SHE'S lactose intolerant!"
##############################D
9
Dr. Anne Possible opened her front door to be confronted by four bizarre creatures that resembled the muppet 'monsters' from Sesame Street, each ranging between five and six feet tall, and while the black and blue, black and green and yellow ones looked vaguely familiar, there was no mistaking the olive eyes of the red one, or the deeply muffled voice that came out from beneath the thick layers of hair. "Mom, if you were stealing a HYPER-pilatory ray from the Hair Club for Mad Scientists, wouldn't you assume that it was the OPPOSITE of a depilatory ray?"
Dumbfounded, Anne could only nod yes, then winced as the black and green one smacked the black and blue one over the head with a loud 'thok!' "See, I TOLD you, you dimwit, and for that you get to be the first to test what happens when we drop you in a bathtub filled with Nair!"
##############################D
10
Shego glared at the redhead, who despite having shown up at the scene of the break-in seemed un-inclined to actually close for combat today. "Whatsamatter Kimmie, you got something up your butt or do you just not want to fight today?"
"Well, actually, I was kind of in the middle of something, so yeah," Kim admitted, dropping her pants and pulling a huge black and green butt-plug out of her anus, the sight so stunning Shego that she never even noticed when the teen hero had secured the green woman's wrists and ankles with a pair of very non-regulation furry black handcuffs and an even less orthodox spreader bar.
##############################D
11
Barkin's face was perfectly straight as he defended his actions. "Look, after Kim and Ron left and we all realized that the series was really over, the beach party started to get a little rowdy and out of control, so I felt it was my duty to step in and make sure everyone had a focus, that's all."
The superintendent's face was equally straight. "Perhaps, but be that as it may, attempting to set a new record for the number of animated couples shown simultaneously in sexual intercourse while you 'punished' the 'bad girls' with the volleyball net, an octopus and the head of the Middleton MadDog mascot costume, is hardly the kind of behavior we expect of one of our teachers… so we're promoting you to the position of MISD's regional intramural activities director and want you to start planning our next faculty holiday party immediately."
##############################D
12
Wade's eyes were nervous and his tone panicked over the speaker of the Kimmunicator. "Kim, we all know that you believe that anything is Possible for a Possible, but I REALLY think you might be digging yourself in too deep this time.
Kim merely shrugged off Wade's warning… Ron was depending on her… and then, naked and covered in the blood of the freshly sacrificed chicken, raised her arms and uttered the fateful words: "ARISE UNDEAD CORPSE OF RUFUS, ARISE!"
##############################D
13
"R… rufus?" Ron gasped in wonder, having returned home to find his little dead buddy somehow miraculously alive and sitting on his bed.
Or maybe not so miraculously, he realized, as Zombie Rufus sprang for his throat and the last thing Ron Stoppable heard was a tiny, high pitched voice repeating the same two words over and over again: "Head cheeeese…. Heaadd cheeeese…."
##############################D
YeOldLegalstuff: Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable, Rufus, Wade Load, Mr. & Mrs. Sto ppable, Dr. Drakken, Electronique, Motor Ed, Will Du, Joss Possible, Bonnie Rockwaller, Senor Senior Jr., Hope, Jessica, Crystal, Tara, Duff Killigan, Aviarius, the Monkey Ninjas, Mr. Barkin, Drs. Anne and James Possible and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations, as are the names Ariel and Disney's The Little Mermaid, although LITTLE MERMAID 9: SMELLS LIKE TUNA does not exist. Pinkie Pie, Coconut Cream and Knight Shade characters all trademarks of Hasbro. Clark Kent property of DC Comics, a TimeWarner Company. Sesame Street is a trademark of The Children's Television Workshop. Papa Smurf and Smurfette created by Satan.. er, Peyo (original title: Les chtroumpfs,) Animation Produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions, a Time Warner Company, in association with SEPP International S.A. If there is a SMURF-PORN 16, don't tell me, I don't want to know. Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18…