Disclaimer: not mine
Crash Part 3/4
Despite the fact there were two mattresses on the floor, it didn't surprise Harm to find Mac and David curled up tightly together on one of them. After checking on both his daughters and kissing them once more, he toed off his shoes, put his jacket on the end of Ruby's bed and practically fell onto the mattress behind his wife and son.
"Harm," Mac murmured as he wrapped his arm around her and their son.
"Hi, gorgeous," he whispered kissing her head. "Go back to sleep."
Letting go of her boy for the first time in hours, Mac slowly turned over and pressed into her husband. "How's Frank?"
"Resting comfortably," he said with a yawn. "Still very sorry about the kids."
"That's going to take a while, isn't it?" she yawned in reply.
"Yep," he replied, brushing the hair from her face.
"What about your mom?" she yawned again.
"Coping well. I told her the truth about the kids and she was pretty upset but she's gone home and hopefully some sleep will do her good," he said as Mac snuggled closer. "How have things been here?"
"Good," she replied. "Rubes has slept the whole time. Ella woke just after you left. I helped her to the bathroom and she went straight back to sleep. Hopefully, we can take them home in the afternoon some time."
"That's good," he agreed. The sooner he got everyone home the better.
Sleep claimed them quickly and it seemed that only a short time later the nurse was in doing her 6:00AM rounds. It surprised Harm that although his wife was still in his arms that their son was squashed between himself and his wife and, when he realised the boy was still on top of the blanket, he figured it must have been David's doing. The clanking of the trolley caused the boy to stir and Harm stroked his face.
"Good morning, sweetheart," he said watching as the boy yawned and rubbed his eyes.
"Hi, daddy," he said, clambering across to be on his father's chest as Harm rolled onto his back.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, kissing his boy.
"Sort of," he said, yawning once more. "I woke up and mommy wasn't hugging me and I got a bit upset," he admitted sheepishly.
"So you climbed in between us?" Harm asked and he nodded shyly. "That's okay, David."
"I don't want people to think I'm a baby though," he said embarrassed.
"No one will think that," Harm said, caressing his face. "I think you've been pretty amazing."
"Really?" he asked, his eyes widening.
"Dr Adrian was telling me that you were great at the crash, helping the paramedics and looking after your sisters. He told me he thought you were a champion," he said proudly.
"Well, you always tell me I've got to look after them," he said linking his arms around Harm's neck. "So, I did."
"Well, you're a great brother and fantastic kid and your mommy and I are very proud of you!" Harm said and David grinned widely; he wasn't a baby after all.
The boy was happier still when Mac reached over and kissed him and told him how much she loved him. Both parents knew the focus would be on the girls in the days to come and they didn't want David to think he wasn't as important or loved as they were.
It was a hectic morning of doctor's rounds, checks, discussions and physiotherapist visits and it was determined Ella would be discharged but Ruby would have to stay another day. This news didn't go down well with anyone, particularly Ruby who thought she'd be all alone while everyone else went home.
"No, baby, no," Mac said kissing and caressing her face as she cried. "You won't be alone. Daddy or I will be here the whole time."
When the child had calmed, the conversation between Mac and Harm as to who was to do what ensued. Harm listened as Mac seemed to talk in circles. In all the time he had known her, he hadn't seen her in quite this state. Putting it down to the events of the previous day and the lack of sleep, he didn't want to upset her but they needed some concrete plans.
"Honey," he said, pulling her closer. "Stop for a minute. You're not making a lot of sense. Now, do you want to stay overnight tonight with Ruby or do you want to be at home with Ella?"
"Ruby," she said quietly.
"Okay," he said with a nod. "Now, if you are going to stay tonight you need to be the one who takes the others home now. You will need to rest, eat, shower and change before you come back this evening."
"I know," she said with a nod before closing her eyes and sighing.
"Mac, talk to me," he whispered, pulling her towards the doorway. "You don't seem right."
"I'm okay," she said but neither was convinced. "I'm okay. I'm just a little hesitant about leaving Ruby."
"I'll be right here," he said, caressing her face. "I won't let anything happen to her."
"Oh, I know that," Mac said with a nod, hers eyes still searching his face as if waiting for him to say something she wanted to hear.
"And you can get Mrs Armitage to come over and sit with the kids when you come back and we swap over," he whispered when he realised the others were listening.
"I can watch David when you come back, mom," Ella volunteered. "I've done it before."
"I know," Mac said turning to her daughter. "But you're just getting out of hospital."
"Well, I can look after Ella then," David said, sitting alongside his eldest sister.
Mac just nodded; it didn't ease her mind to think she'd have to leave them in just a few hours.
Later that afternoon, Harm was lying on the hospital bed with his youngest daughter and was quite uncomfortable in the bed which was never designed for someone of his height; not unexpected for a paediatric bed. Ruby was cuddled into him, her injured arm resting across his body as he played with her hair and told her lots of different stories. Content and comfortable, Ruby drifted off to sleep on a wave of fairytales just as Trish arrived.
"Hey, mom," Harm whispered, offering her his hand as she neared the bed. "Wasn't expecting you."
"Hello, sweetheart," she whispered in reply, taking his hand and leaning down to kiss his head. "I was on my way to see Frank and thought I'd see how this one is going."
"Sleeping like a baby," he said, stroking his daughter's back. "A bit upset she couldn't go home but enjoying some daddy and me time."
"And how are her injuries?" Trish asked, her eyes filling with tears as she gently touched her granddaughter's arm.
"Healing," Harm said. "It's more the general anaesthetic which is keeping her here rather than the injury itself."
"Oh, Harm," she said slowly. "She's so little to go through this."
"It's okay, mom, really," he said taking his mother's hand once more. "She's pretty resilient and I'm sure this will all be a distant memory before too long."
"For her, maybe," Trish said nodding. "Not for us and especially not for Frank."
"I know," he said squeezing her hand. He knew this event would take a long time to come to terms with, he couldn't imagine how badly Frank would be feeling about the whole thing. "Speaking of Frank, I'm surprised you're not at Scripps already," he said, cuddling Ruby as she stirred.
"I woke early and spoke to him and the nurses this morning and he was doing well," she said. "He had different staff coming in and said not to come until the afternoon and, as I had a headache, I went to lie down for a bit and only woke up an hour ago. When I phoned him again he said I had to come see Ruby before him."
"How are you feeling now?" Harm asked studying her face.
"Fine, son," she said firmly. "Just fine."
Harm just smiled, he hadn't expected any other answer from his mother.
"Hi, grandma," Ruby said with a yawn. "I've got a broken arm."
"I know, darling," she said leaning forward and kissing the child. "How's it feeling?"
"A bit sore and a bit heavy," she said, lifting her arm a little.
"It will all be better soon," she replied, gently caressing her arm.
"That's what daddy says. Where's grandpa?" she asked scanning the room.
"Grandpa is in another hospital," Harm said gently. "Remember, we talked about it yesterday."
"Oh yeah, that's right," she said. "I forgot. When can I see him?"
"Not for a few days yet," Trish said, "He's not allowed to have too many visitors until he gets a bit better."
"Well, can I FaceTime him on the iPhone later?" she asked and Harm laughed. His techno-baby was still moving with the times.
"I'll see when I get there," she replied, not sure if her husband would cope with seeing their gorgeous youngest grandchild still in hospital.
After Trish had left, Ruby was complaining of being hungry and bored, then bored and hungry. Deciding to spoil his baby, Harm borrowed a wheelchair and headed downstairs to the cafeteria. Once there, Ruby couldn't decide on anything she wanted. In the end, Harm got her some ice cream and jello and a coffee for himself before sitting by the window and watching the world go by for a bit.
After finishing the treat, Ruby climbed up on Harm's lap, the small trip using more energy than she anticipated.
"Are you tired, baby?" he asked, kissing her head.
"Aha," she yawned.
"Okay, let's go back upstairs and get you into bed," he said but Ruby shook her head, she was more than comfortable right where she was. This allowed Harm to finish his coffee as Ruby played with the buttons on his shirt.
With the sun filtering through the window and the relative quietness of the cafeteria, Ruby drifted off to sleep once more and Harm watched other families with children in far worse states than his daughter, his children. Not for the first time in the past twenty four hours, he felt extremely lucky that, despite everything, things had turned out so well for them.
Just as he was contemplating heading back to the room, Mac came in in a flustered state.
"There you are!" she said loudly before lowering her voice. "What on earth are you doing down here?"
"Ruby has feeling restless so we headed down here for a change of scenery," he said, rubbing his daughter's back. "But it was a bit more of an effort than she thought."
"Give her to me," Mac said, picking up her daughter.
"I didn't expect you to be back until after dinner," he said, concerned she was being so cool with him.
"Mrs Armitage had plans tonight, you have to be back before six," Mac said, settling her girl in her arms before turning for the door.
Pushing the wheelchair, Harm followed his wife and unsuccessfully tried to engage her in conversation. It was obvious to him he was in the bad books but he couldn't fathom why. Did she blame him for the crash because he was the one who was supposed to pick the kids up, not his father? Had he done something wrong that he wasn't aware of? Was it just a reaction to the scare they'd had the day before?
With others in the elevator and a new roommate and parent now occupying Ella's space, Harm's chance to talk with his wife was limited.
"You should go now," Mac said rather coldly as soon as Ruby was tucked up in bed. "Mrs Armitage has plans at six," she repeated.
"Okay," he said, not liking the feeling of being dismissed at all. "Call me if you need anything."
"I won't need anything," she replied, smoothing Ruby's bed covers.
"Do I have time to see Frank before I go home?" he questioned, after all it had only just gone four.
"You can do whatever you like," she replied, and that was pretty much the last thing she said to him.
It was the following morning that Ruby was discharged and Mac pulled into their driveway just before lunch. The rest of the family were quickly out the front door more than happy to see the youngest member come home, especially David who had been missing his little sister very much.
The two older children had decided they would have macaroni and cheese for lunch as it was Ruby's favourite and David had already set the table for them, making a special 'welcome home' placemat for his sister,
After lunch the three children were in the living room playing Ruby's favourite game, Candyland. Coming in from hanging out a load of washing, Harm could hear them giggling and headed towards the delightful sound. He stopped suddenly when he spied his wife sitting on the kitchen floor, her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her head lowered and her body shuddering with her sobs.
"Hey, hey," he whispered, dropping down beside her. Hesitantly, he wrapped an arm around her, not too sure what reaction he would get.
Thankfully, Mac fell into his touch, moving her head to rest on his chest as her hand clasped his shirt. Stroking and kissing her head, Harm waited for her to be able to speak to him, while also keeping an ear out for any chance they may be disturbed.
"I'm really sorry," she finally managed as he wiped her tears away. "I don't know why I'm taking everything out on you."
"Shh, it's okay," he said kissing her head once more.
"No, no it's not," she said with a shake of her head.
"Do you blame me?" he finally asked, the question having been gnawing at him since the day before.
"No, of course not!" she said emphatically. "Why would you think that?"
"Because I was the one who was supposed to pick them up," he said quietly.
"No, I don't blame you," she repeated, sitting up once more.
"Well, have I done something wrong?" he quizzed, wanting this to be resolved.
For a long time she stared at him and he knew that expression well. It was the 'if you don't know I'm not going to tell you' one.
"Mac?"
She shook her head. "No."
It was then Ella came into the kitchen and looked at her parents, surprised to see them in such an emotional state on the floor.
"Is everything alright?" she asked slowly.
"Sure is, El," Harm said brightly.
"Doesn't look like it," she commented looking between the pair.
"We're both a little tired," he replied as he stood and helped his wife up.
"Why have you been crying, mom?" she asked, not liking the feeling of this at all.
"I'm fine, Ella," Mac said coming over and hugging the girl. "I think everything just got to me...the accident, you girls being hurt, being tired."
"Are you sure that's all it is?" she asked, now tall enough to be looking at her mother eye to eye.
"Positive," she said with a smile. "It's nothing a lot of cuddles this afternoon and a good night's sleep won't fix."
"Okay then," Ella conceded, happy enough with the answer. "Well, the kids wanted sundaes and I didn't think you'd say no."
Mac laughed; she had bright kids who knew right at this moment they could get anything they wanted.
"I'll make them," Harm said, not overly convinced that Mac had told Ella the whole truth.
"Can mine have lots and lots of chocolate fudge?" she asked hopefully. "Pleeeeaseeee, daddy!"
"Okay, this time," he conceded. His precious girl could have anything she wanted, anything.
Later that night, after visiting Frank, Harm returned home. Given it was past the younger children's bedtime and given recent events, he wasn't surprised to see everyone asleep. What did surprise him was that his wife and all three children were asleep in his bed, leaving next to no room for him. After doing some general tidying up around the house, he showered and changed for bed before standing at his bed and trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Initially, he thought he might sleep in one of the kids' beds but he reconsidered when David opened one eye and called his name.
"I saved you room, daddy," said the boy patting the sliver of space available next to him.
Squashed into bed with his loved ones was the best offer he'd had in a long time, so he edged his way in and ended up with David on his chest. Sleep soon claimed them all.
For Harm, his sleep wasn't all that restful, given the crowded nature of the bed and concerns about his wife. Awake since dawn, he got up at seven, just in time to hear a car pull into their driveway. Concerned it may be his mother; he opened the front door to find a taxi and watched as Harriet emerged from the backseat. Quickly, he was out the door to greet her as the driver retrieved her bags from the trunk.
"Harriet! What on earth are you doing here?" he asked embracing her.
"What? Can't I visit friends?" she asked with a smile before kissing him.
"Of course you can," he said quickly, as he grabbed her luggage. "Is there something wrong?"
"With me? No," she said with a shake of her head as she followed him into the house. "But I spoke to Mac two days ago and thought I could be of more use here than at home."
"Sit, sit," he said, pulling out a chair. "Is everything alright at home?"
"Just a bit quiet," she said. "The twins were heading away for a 10 day school trip and Bud's away on assignment. I figured you could use some help with the kids, particularly the girls, given their issues, and Frank."
"Thank you so much," he said, moving to hug her once more. "You don't know how much it means."
"No need to thank me," she said with a graceful smile. "Family does for family, besides, I was..." she began before trailing off.
"You were what?" he asked as he took a seat beside her.
"I was concerned about Mac," she admitted in a whisper.
"I've been concerned about her too," he whispered in reply. "I know the crash gave us both a scare but there's something going on that I just can't name."
"You can't?" she asked a bit surprised.
"No," he replied before realising Harriet knew something he didn't. "What am I missing?"
"The reason I know about the accident is because I phoned Mac the day after it," Harriet said slowly, wondering how to say what she had to say.
"Aha," he replied with a nod. "And did she say something?"
"Harm, I phoned the day after because it was Callum's birthday," she said and took his hand as he paled.
"Oh, dear god," he muttered. "I completely forgot." He shook his head in disbelief. "I mean I knew it was coming up and everything but after the accident I just...I didn't...I ...oh god."
"It's okay, it's okay," Harriet soothed, squeezing his hand. "It's understandable."
"But Mac remembered, didn't she? That's why she was looking at me like I was supposed to know what the issue was," he said shaking his head once more. "I don't believe this." He rested his elbows on the table before cradling his head in his hands, his eyes filling with tears. "How could I forget my boy?"
Harriet stood and rubbed his back. "It's okay, Harm. You were caught up with the kids and Frank. It happens." Though her words were supposed to console him, it did little to alleviate the overwhelming guilt.
"Daddy?" David called coming down the hallway and Harriet took a step towards the voice.
"Hello, David," she said, opening her arms.
"Aunty Harriet!" he squealed running to her. "I didn't know you were coming."
"It was a surprise," she said hugging him tightly. "My goodness, you've grown so much."
"I'm seven now!" he announced proudly.
"And just as handsome as your daddy," she said, winking at Harm.
All Harm could do was offer a weak smile.
"Now, David, I was going to make a delicious breakfast and I was hoping I could get someone to help me," she said, gesturing towards the kitchen.
"I'll help! I'll help!" he said eagerly. He loved his Aunty Harriet's cooking, it was much better than his parents.
"There's no need to..." Harm protested but Harriet shook her head.
"Nonsense," she said. "I even had the taxi stop so I could pick up some goodies."
Harm stood and yawned, "Well, I might just go and get dressed..."
"Yawning like that, mister, you can take yourself back to bed..." Harriet began before turning him around.
"No, it's fine," he protested, shaking his head.
"Harmon Rabb, you will do as you are told," she admonished gently and David's eyes widened. Usually it was only grandma who spoke to his dad like that. "If you really don't want to go to bed, then go lie on the sofa. David and I have some work to do. Don't we, Davy?"
"Yes, ma'am," David said, with a firm nod.
Conceding he wasn't going to change his guest's mind, Harm nodded before going into the living room and lying on the sofa. Clutching a cushion to his chest, he fought his tears knowing that his peace and quiet could be disrupted anytime. Closing his eyes, his mind was full of images of Callum. While they had never known what he would have looked like as a child, in his mind, Callum always had a distinct look, aging as the years went by. This year he would have been 11 and Harm could see the blue eyed boy with straight brown hair, standing tall dressed in basketball gear.
Feeling very guilty for having forgotten the child, regardless of the circumstances, Harm lost his battle with his tears and turned to face the back of the sofa so he'd be able to feign sleep should anyone come in.
From his position he was able to hear Ella get up and greet Harriet before offering to help with setting the table, and then about 15 minutes later, he heard his youngest daughter and wife do the same. It all seemed to be light and laughter in the kitchen along with the delightful smells of Harriet's cooking. Unfortunately, it did nothing to assuage his guilt.
Soon, he felt his wife's familiar touch on his head and then shoulder.
"Harm?" she said quietly. He didn't respond as he wasn't in a fit state to speak to her so he feigned sleep. "Harm?"
Kneeling on the floor, just behind his head, Mac leant over and kissed him. "I know you're awake and Harriet told me about your conversation. So, I need you to turn over and talk to me," she said gently.
Unable to ignore her anymore, Harm opened his eyes and rolled over, his tears falling the instant he saw her face.
"I am so, so sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean..."
"Shh, shh," she whispered caressing his face before wiping his tears away.
"I can't believe...I didn't really forget...I mean on the day, yes, but not leading up to it," he tried to explain as he sat up.
"Harm, it's okay, sweetheart, honestly," she said moving closer to him. "I was the same...it was only when the nurse came in that morning and said the date aloud it hit me."
"Why didn't you say something?" he asked pulling her off the floor and onto his lap.
"I don't know, I just couldn't," she said with a shake of her head. "I guess I was feeling bad that he wasn't the first thing I'd thought of that morning and I was so grateful the kids had escaped with limited injuries and I didn't want to seem ungrateful and with the kids and Frank I didn't want to put more on your plate and I thought it would be easier if you said it first and ...I don't know. I'm sorry."
"Oh, Mac," he said, kissing her head. "It still hurts so much, doesn't it?"
"It does," she said tearfully, resting her head on his. "I couldn't do it again...you know, lose another child, and I guess that got to me too."
"Me too," he agreed. "And even though I didn't remember it was his birthday I've been thinking of Callum a lot in the past few days and how hard it was to lose him and then lose you. I'm not strong enough to go through that again. I'm not."
"You're never going to lose me that I can promise you," Mac cried, wrapping her arms around him. "I learnt through our separation that while I can manage to live without you I never want to do so, never!"
After tenderly caressing his face, Mac leant down and kissed him gently. The only way they were going to get through this thing called life was to do it together. It was this scene that greeted their eldest daughter and quickly she retreated from the room. Usually, she'd make some comment about them being too old to make out but she had been troubled by their interactions over recent days and so, she was more than happy to see a genuine display of love between the two.