Lucrezia, still dazed by her brother's advances, raced up the steps and down the hall. It was just too much. It was her fault, all hers. She felt grief tear through her just then, as she did when she heard of his departure. She had always been saddened when he had to leave her, but at the news of his midnight fall on a ruggish road leading out of Rome, she couldn't compare her pain and worry. For as dawn broke the next morning, and Giulia Farnese ran to the girl's room to tell her, Lucrezia knew that she loved him. She was in love with him. Her heart sheltered a secret passion for him that she was always aware of, she had just not felt its full potential.
As the words slipped out of Giulia's colorless lips, Lucrezia felt violently determined to go to him. "You must let me go!" she pleaded, getting out of her bed still dressed in a tear-stained nightgown. Giulia tried to protest, saying she didn't want to see her in more pain. Lucrezia didn't bother listening. He was in the medicinal chambers, laying on a stiff bed with bandages on his head. His beautiful eyes were closed as Lucrezia ran to him, the startled words of the nurses a faint murmur in the back of her head. "He is my brother..." she faintly spoke, as she placed her hands on his face. She traced his mouth, cheeks, eyelids, brow, anything to comfort her that he was with her again, in her arms.
The nurses nodded in recognition, but one stepped forward to place her hand on Lucrezia's shoulder. "If you could wait outdoors, we are not done with him. His outcome looks well, but even a cardinal needs prayers, My Lady." The nurse's voice was understanding and kind, but Lucrezia felt her heart was attached to him at that moment, and when she was escorted out of the room, it was no different from being ripped apart. As the doors closed and the nurses and doctor gathered around him, Lucrezia stayed frozen outside the chambers. She placed a hand on the wooden door and pressed her forehead to it, waiting.
Vanozza, Joffre, Giulia, and the others arrived soon after. Their faces were all the same. Grief-stricken and worried. Juan did not come. Lucrezia knew he would not, since he was away from Rome at that time leading the Papal armies. She ran into her mother's arms and fresh tears took her then. They streamed down her face as Vanozza stroked her daughter's golden hair. She knew how Lucrezia loved Cesare. It was not uncommon to understand their connection. As she tried to soothe her anguished child, Joffre laid a light hand on his sister's back. Lucrezia turned and embraced him, recieving his kiss on her cheek with a half-hearted smile. "He will be fine." Joffre told her, his voice reminding her of how childish he still was, even in that serious time. Lucrezia said nothing, but touched his cheek and left to sit on a bench next to the great wooden door.
Vanozza watched her daughter in her grief, knowing there was nothing to console her at that moment, unless Cesare burst through the doors to sweep her off her feet. It was hours later that the door finally swung open, revealing a weary but determined doctor. Vanozza stepped towards him first, while Lucrezia stared in shock of what she might hear. "Is he...?" Vanozza inquired, trying to ask if he was alright, but the words stuck to the back of her throat. The doctor nodded, clearing his throat to announce about Cesare. "The young man is doing well. He developed a concussion and perhaps a slight fracture on his skull. He does have some amnesia, so try your best to..." He eyed Lucrezia warily at that moment, "...work with it." He concluded, watching Lucrezia rise from her seat.
"Does he not remember me?" she faintly said, voice trembling. The doctor frowned. "It is not as bad as the cases I have seen, but if you want to be with him, he is now sleeping in the recovery room down the hall and to the right. I must take my leave now, but any questions you have will be answered by the nurses." He said, dipping his head curtly and exiting from their view. The group was stricken indeed, but hope and relief flooded through them. Lucrezia felt her body sway to the direction the doctor said he would be in, and Vanozza nodded, turning to the others. "She is the most desperate at this time, it would be best for only her to visit him now." She said in a grim voice, and frowned at Joffre's pout. "I'm sure he would love to see you, but not in a huge group at one time, my darling." Vanozza kissed his hair and gave Lucrezia one last look before heading back down the hall.
Lucrezia had never moved so fast in her life. Her legs darted beneath her and carried her to the room he was in, trying to calm her breath before turning the handle to enter. She stepped into a dreary room, curtains barely open, an unmistakably uncomfortable bed in the center with a dark figure laid in it. She moved towards him, softly kneeling beside his sleeping frame to gaze at his face as she did before. Touching his cheek, she felt warmth fill her then, and she raised herself to kiss his face. Reveling in his scent that she always knew as Cesare, she scattered kisses on his forehead and his cheeks. His slight intake of breaths and exhales were the most beautiful sounds at that moment.
"Dearest Cesare..." she murmured, tears of happiness filling her eyes, "...you must not leave me. I would die." She placed another kiss on his brow. "I would. You would take me with you. Because I love you." She sighed against his skin, cradling his upper torso with her arms. She felt him stir then, waking with a confused face and a frown, but once he saw her, he smiled. Lucrezia felt nothing could have held her back once he gave her that heaven sent smile. He remembered her. Her mouth found his, and her lips molded to him. Even if her passion was forged in hell, it felt like heaven.