Falling Through the Cracks
by Aimme,
with touches by My Note Book
Summary: His mask was flawless. His walls were perfectly structured. Protection and cautionary containment at its finest. Even a perfect pretend held fractures, though, and no matter how strong his glue, under the right circumstances, glue cracked and had to be gutted and filled in again.
Author's Notes: Please see the first chapter for all thorough disclaimers, warnings, and notations made by the author(s).
Once again, I (Aimme) will now say that this chapter is also a change of pace...or form, rather. Definitely a change of form from the last two chapters. My Note Book and I simply write the story the way it comes to us, and there is little more we can do, because resistance usually turns out to be detrimental in large amounts: we end up not writing anything. Just have to go with it, aye? It is shorter than the other two, we know, but still hopefully just as enjoyable. We hope you like it for what it is, nonetheless, and stick this out to hear the story!
Additionally, I (Aimme), and also on behalf of My Note Book, would like to thank our anonymous reviewers, BlackKeys96, FTC, and Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllYouSee, for taking the time to leave us those awesome reviews! We hope that you all enjoy this third chapter as much as you did the first two, and that you continue to enjoy what's coming.
Also, a huge shout-out thank you to BlackKeys96 for that song suggestion (I'm Not Alright by Sanctus Real)! Neither My Note Book nor I had ever heard that song, but now it is on our favourites! You are right, it is very fitting for Zack. And I am with you on liking Cody reliving the memories! I love the observance of the things that people treasure...and that was definitely a glimpse of what Cody treasures!
If there are any questions about updating, see the note at the end. Now that this author's note is nearly as long as the chapter, I will stop...
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Chapter Three - Picture Perfection Has Faded Away
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The picture perfection has faded away
Say goodbye to illusion, say hello to reality's way
If only I could find the air that so alludes me
To open up or hide, to tell you or simply lie
To keep on acting like I've got my life in line
When I know it's not worth it to save me
I saw red. I saw pain. I saw a nightmare, awake.
I saw blood running in many rivulets down to the elbow of the arm clutched in red-covered hands and held before a dark T with an even darker stain on the front.
My heart stopped, terror and horror freezing my thoughts and seizing my emotions.
My brother's eyes, empty, dull and listless, had locked on mine, sluggish shock peaking out through the creases of a weary, impassive face, but the jagged lines drawn in blood were bright and fresh and wet, and surely he was not oblivious of that. He was rooted, though, and simply stared with a shell-shocked, blank look at his brother in the doorway, caught red-handed and aware of it but indifferent, as if it hadn't quite moved him yet.
My feet unfroze, my heart leaping into my throat even as I launched himself all the way across the room at my twin, grabbing hold of him and dragging him into the bathroom—a destination my brother seemed to have been making his own flight for before he had been rooted by his sudden intruder.
Zack let himself be pulled along the last few feet to the sink, still saying nothing, still barely reacting.
A washcloth was hastily doused with a shaking hand, clear liquid, cool and rushing, gushing from the faucet, but the other trembling hand held flesh and blood, the vital liquid hot and deep crimson, dark and bubbling slowly and sluggishly out of damage, trickling down its own paths where it did not belong.
Terror ate at me, but Zack remained silent. Heat flooded my wide eyes, swirling the blood so that it might as well have been everywhere, and violently shaking hands pressed cold to hot upon flesh that was marred, but there was no flinch or sound from the one beside me.
"You could have killed yourself!" I bit out harshly, fear and devastation choking me up.
"No, I couldn't have," a sharp, curt retort, almost derisive, almost exasperated, as if it was common knowledge and I was unlearned.
I shot my gaze up to his. He looked vaguely like he had been crying, which is unusual for my big brother (I have not seen him cry since before we were six, if even then, which means that I do not really remember seeing him do so, ever), but this cut was deep and no matter how tough he is, tears of pain would not be so easily dissuaded, so easily dispelled. He was pale and his eyes were tinged the slightest bit with red, but the impassiveness before me might be impressive if it wasn't so darn terrifying.
"It was an accident, Cody," Zack explained. I stared at him and he bristled; his eyes narrowing as he reiterated, "It was an accident," emphasizing with a harsh note to his tone.
An accident? I wanted to believe him, I really, really did; I wanted to believe him because he's my brother and he can convince me of anything. I was too scared stiff, though, and my mind too grief-stricken to know what was what with my brother at the moment. All I knew, however, was that I wanted to believe him, because the other option was too colossally petrifying and devastating.
I dropped my head, panic-stricken haste in my movements as I returned my attention to the bloody mess in my hands. Hastily wrapping a hand towel around his arm, I tried to stem the lazy flow of the life-giving liquid which was seeping away. As I squeezed our temporary tourniquet to the damage stealing such vitality from my brother, I looked up once more at my twin and noted that for all of his blank expression and collected tone, his body betrayed him for he trembled the slightest bit and his skin was clammy.
I swiped a hand across my face, the trickling dampness on my cheeks, and Zack twitched uncomfortably. "Mind letting up?" he mumbled, his shifty gaze darting around. He referred to the iron grip I had on him, holding the towel to the cut four inches above his left wrist.
"Yes, I do mind," I bit back. "We have to stop the bleeding, you idiot!" Out of the corner of my eye, an instantaneous crease flashing across his face caught my attention, and in the corner of my mind, I pondered that. But my gaze had instantly flicked up to his face, and there was no such look, so my peripheral must have been seeing a flinch when I was simply imagining things.
"We're going to the infirmary right now, Zackary!" I caught his face paling a little more as I gripped his wounded arm with both hands and turned, but he remained silent and did not protest as I dragged him from the bathroom.
I found it strange that Zack didn't struggle much—and by struggle much, I mean nothing more than the occasional misstep and feet getting left behind as I dragged him along, for he seemed a little lethargic, perhaps muddled even, and the dearth of reaction kept my heart racing. He didn't put up any fight as I pulled him behind me towards the infirmary, and this was weird because I know that he hates visiting nurses, doctors, and anybody with a needle—he hates it a lot, quite a lot.
I could hear his ragged breathing, and my desperation cemented all the more. He didn't protest or make a sound, only tried to keep himself upright and keep his lagging feet keeping up with my hurried ones as I tugged him so quickly down the halls. I dragged him onward, blood-splattered and bleeding, silent, and uncharacteristically unresponsive and detached.
I've been falling through the cracks,
Shooting down myself, facing the facts,
I'll never be worth the cost of this
My secrets are my life, my life my only breath
And I will face down the hollow pit in my chest
I could never be priceless
I've been falling through the cracks
Falling through the cracks
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Author's Note: So Cody knows, but is still fooled—or too terrified to think otherwise. Zack's exceptionally good at his ruse, and he seems particularly good at pulling a fast one over on Cody in regards to what's the real deal with Zack and what's not. Will Cody ever find out? Will Zack ever heal? Will their friends ever know anything? Nobody knows! Well...maybe... I guess we shall see you all again next week and find out what does or does not happen, unless the writing goes exceptionally well and we make an exception and post sooner. However, if not, you can count on next week!
Thank you all for reading and we continue to look forward to this journey taken with all of you! We welcome any thoughts you feel worth sharing or you feel like taking the time to, but by no means feel like they won't be appreciated!