Chapter 10
Home
I turn off the TV and sit, wondering how I should have answered him. I still don't know, and I listen to the clock ticking and the noise from the streets that my hearing can pick up. I wish I was completely over Edward, but I know I couldn't have made the same statement about him that Carlisle made about Esme. To speak the words aloud still hurts too much.
I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on, or merely wanting to be ready. I didn't have to force myself to kiss Carlisle – I practically ate his face off. But beyond that what can I expect? I could have easily made love – no – had sex with him this morning. Even thinking about it makes me realize two years is a long time to be alone and untouched.
My body is alive now, and my inhuman libido is awake. Without Edward to fulfill my every want, need, and desire, am I merely reaching out to the closest substitute? I look at his door, imagining him lying in his bed alone. He's been alone as long as I have, and I know he and Esme had an active love life. I wonder how he can put that aside and go on. And I have no doubt he would have done just that if I'd have given him an indication that we could have more.
It startles me to think that he wants to make love to me. My breath catches as I think about it. He's a beautiful man, and my mind wanders to what it would feel like to be that close to him. He's mentioned that it's always good between our kind, though I have no reference but Edward. And oh yes, that was good. How would it feel to be with Carlisle in that way? I imagine the man I'd seen in a towel not long ago, and I can feel a woman's desire to touch him and feel him – and be touched. I sigh. I still want him.
But he's right. Just having sex would be crazy and wrong. I'm startled as the door to his room opens, and he comes out. He sits on the couch beside me and pulls me against his side with his arm around me.
"I'm sorry Bella, I wasn't being very fair to you earlier. I asked you to tell me your intentions without sharing mine. I expected you to answer questions I myself couldn't answer." He kisses the top of my head. "To be honest, I'm probably as confused as you are, if not more." He looks me in the eyes and smiles. "I like holding you close, and I love kissing you. I'm not sure I"m ready to let that go and just go back to how we were before."
His eyes focus on mine, and I feel my breath speed up just a bit. "If I'm perfectly honest, I can say without a doubt that I want to have sex with you. I mean I really want to." I gasp, and my mouth drops open. "Does that disgust you?"
"No." I manage to gasp. "I think I want that too." He sighs and squeezes his eyes tightly closed.
"Sweet Bella... you're going to ruin me." He stares at me. I can see the hunger – the lust – right there on his handsome face. "You know we can't do this, right?"
"I know." I whisper, still staring at him.
"It would tear our family apart. I can't just take you and then pretend it never happened. It may not be a typical male attitude, but I can't just have sex – I have to be committed. I fall in love, Bella. Not since I was young and human have I been able to have meaningless carnal knowledge with a woman. Vampires don't forget, and I can't – I won't carry that image of you with me forever."
"So, you're saying it's impossible?"
"I'm saying I won't have sex with you, no matter how much we both desire it. The cost is too high. I want to fall in love again. I want to make love. Anything less is unacceptable."
"So this ends here?" My voice is tiny. I feel rejected again.
"Are you ready to fall in love with me, Bella? Can you be all mine?" I look at his questioning eyes, and my words fail me. It's too much, and too soon.
"That's what I thought." He sighs. "Never mind Bella, you're safe... no pressure." He snugs me against his side and kisses my forehead. "We'll just let it go, okay?" I put my arms around him and cuddle against him. He's no longer making demands on me, and I do feel safe with him. I think about kissing him, but when I look at him he doesn't give me any encouragement.
The next morning he makes several more phone calls while I brush all the tangles from my hair. By the afternoon we're on our way home to North America by way of several hops. I notice the party atmosphere as we head to the airport, and it hits me that we've been in Rio de Janeiro, and we didn't even take in one tourist attractions or sample the local culture. I really have been lost in mourning. We sit in the back of the taxi, and Carlisle holds my hand.
On the planes, we have first class seats, but still he holds my hand, and allows me to rest against him. We read books we've purchased at the airport, and he's chosen several assorted non-fiction books, while I've got a couple romance novels. Midway home the romances have lost their appeal and I'm reading over his shoulder.
"Bella, would you like one of my books?" He catches my eye and smiles.
"I never knew there was enough about World War II nurses to fill a book."
He laughs softly. "There's enough to fill several, actually." He closes the book with his finger holding his place. We're able to talk so softly we don't disturb the other passengers. "You'd be surprised to know that many of those nurses knew as much as the doctors about treating patients. They were truly heroic in the way they cared for the soldiers, either on the battlefields or in the hospitals."
"Were you involved yourself?" I know he was working in a Chicago hospital during World War I, but I had no idea about other wars and conflicts
He nods and lowers his voice even further. "We were living in the U.S. at the time. But the country was so reluctant to get involved in the war, despite increasing aggression by Germany and it's axis. There were boats full of refugees and orphans coming in regularly, and they all carried stories of human suffering. I couldn't take it. When Canada declared war on Germany, in September of nineteen thirty-nine, I joined the Royal Canadian Army Medical Corps."
I'd forgotten that Carlisle had ties to at least four different countries: England, Italy, Canada, and the U.S., along with documents both real and fake proving his citizenship in each.
"I spent almost a year in Holland, far enough away from actual combat, that I treated more diseases and accidents than I did actual war injuries. I was then transferred to England, and I was in London during the Blitz." I'm stunned to hear his recollections. He's seen so much that I've only read about in history books.
"That must have been awful." I couldn't imagine people – ordinary citizens – hiding in their own homes with the lights out, wondering if they would be hit by a bomb. To wonder if you'd wake up in the morning, as well as your family, friends, and neighbors.
"It was... awful. Forty thousand dead in London and surrounding towns, and about five times that were injured. I got hit by a bomb myself." He looks over at me and raises an eyebrow. "I don't recommend it." I can only stare at him. His eyes take on a guarded quality and he smiles as if to shrug it off. He kisses the back of my hand and our fingers are intertwined. "This isn't really the time or place to talk about such things. There's no such thing as a pleasant war, and I've seen enough to give you nightmares, even if you don't sleep." Again his lips brush the back of my hand.
I sit in silence and ponder what it must be like to have lived for three and a half centuries. He's always seemed so quiet and refined to me, but with strength and wisdom to keep his family together. I've always believed him to be a man of compassion, but when I consider how much suffering, death, and loss he's surely seen in his long existence, I wonder how he holds onto any shred of decency whatsoever. How does he hold onto any semblance of humanity?
I lean over and kiss his cheek, and he looks at me for a second before he opens his book and goes back to reading.
We finally land at Victoria International Airport. It isn't what I expect, since I still think of Forks as home. There's no one waiting at the airport for us, and when he sees me scanning the crowds he smiles.
"I didn't tell them when we were coming in. Ness is busy with a newborn, and I didn't think it wise to have everyone else converge on the airport just to escort us home. Besides, I've got something pretty special in long term parking." He smiles like a teenager as we stride out of the airport with nothing but a small carry-on for our books.
The late summer sun turns his hair corn silk yellow, as a gust of wind flips it into his eyes. He finger combs it back into place, then absently laces those fingers with mine. People stare at us as we gracefully walk by, and I know they're seeing that supernatural beauty that so captivated me all those years ago.
In the long term parking lot, it's easy to spot what he calls 'special.' An Italian luxury car languishes in the shadows, all silver with chrome wheels, and red leather interior.
"Isn't she beautiful? She's a Maserati Gran Turismo. I fell in love with her while we were abroad, and had her shipped when we came back home. It cost a fortune, but I just couldn't leave her behind." He opens the passenger door for me and helps me into the car.
All along the trip I've noticed his chivalrous manners that must have been ingrained in him for centuries. He stands when I stand, holds my chair, opens doors, holds my hand or takes my arm, and always takes the lead, even though none of those things are necessary or appreciated in these liberated times. I appreciate them. It's a constant reminder that he's a gentleman – a gentle man.
We pull from the parking spot, and I find myself listening to the music on his sound system. In a matter of minutes – seconds even – I recognize the music. It's Edward playing piano. I feel the air pulled from my frozen lungs, and I'm suddenly sick and dizzy, though it's physically impossible. I feel as if an icicle has been plunged into my chest, as I remember watching his fingers play those very notes.
"Oh god Bella, I'm so sorry!" He turns it off immediately, and stops the car. He pulls me to him, and I cling to him, moaning in tearless agony. His beautiful, talented hands are gone forever, and he'll never produce music again. I want to scream in the confines of the car at the unfairness of it all, but Carlisle holds me breathlessly tight.
I don't know how long it takes me to pull it together, but finally the sound of his soft voice whispering to me gets my attention. It's the same repeating cadence of words we say to children when they cry: "Shh, it's okay, everything will be alright, I know it hurts, you'll feel better soon, everything's okay, I'm sorry, I'm here for you..."
It's that phrase that sticks with me and gets me through. "I'm here for you." He understands more than anyone else ever could. I'm not alone.
I pull back; a silent signal that it's okay for him to relax his hold. He doesn't let me go entirely, and I press my forehead against his, and stare into his eyes. "Thank you for understanding." I feel his hands on my face, tucking the hair behind my ears. For a long moment I just gaze at him. He's pulled me back from the edge of despair once again. He shifts, and kisses my head, then relaxes back into his seat.
He stares ahead, through the windshield. "I'm sorry about that, Bella. I've been listening to those tracks for two years now – I didn't even think about it."
"Why? I mean... how can you stand it? Isn't it a constant reminder?"
He turns my way and smiles sadly. "Of course it's a reminder. I don't ever want to forget him, Bella. He was so talented, and I've never heard anyone else who could play with such passion. Did you know it was the piano that helped pull him through losing his parents? He was such a mess when he found out they were both gone. He even blamed himself for a while – he had so many theories on how he was the one who exposed them to the flu. I listened to that piano for hours on end, as he expressed his grief in all it's layers."
His eyes lock onto mine, and I can see – feel the pain radiating from him. "I loved him so much. He was a beautiful and sensitive boy, and he grew to be a good man. When I listen to his music, it makes me feel closer to him. It reminds me of all the good things he was, and it's comforting to me. You don't know what I'd give to have recordings of my Gabriella."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose it again. You're able to remember the good things, but I'm still remembering all I've lost."
"I know."
In silence he starts the car and we drive from the parking lot. It's a while before either of us says anything, and I stare out the window at the familiar evergreens.
"I hope you like the house. It's bigger than what we had in Forks, but we're expecting to have guests more often. I was thinking we can get you settled, and then tomorrow we'll go seen Ness, Jacob and your grandchildren."
"What about the house in Forks?" It still surprises me they've moved.
"It's not really been lived in since the war. To be honest, it's hard to live in the same place where we were all a family. In order to make it work for us now, we'd have to change so much, and I just can't bring myself to do it."
"I understand. I couldn't even stay there last time I visited. Is the piano still there?"
"There's no place else for it to go. The cabin's almost exactly the same too."
"I couldn't even go there."
"That's why we bought the new place. I think you'll like it, even though it's a bit isolated. It's green, I mean it's environmentally responsible. It's made out of so many recycled materials and energy efficient products, it probably takes care of all of my three hundred and fifty years of carbon footprints." He laughs briefly and realizes I'm not laughing. "Bella, what's wrong?"
"I just don't know how to do this. How do I just go on alone? I've never been alone. I went from Mom's to Dad's to... Edward. I've never lived in a college dorm or had my own apartment."
"Maybe you should." He glances my way. "I mean that's an option." He turns from the main highway onto a long two lane road. "I don't want to tell you what to do. There's a place for you with us, but one advantage to being alone is that you have all kinds of options you never had before. You could go back to college, or have your own apartment. You could train for a career, or even do volunteer work."
"I'll settle for just being able to function from day to day."
"Bella please... " He reaches out and takes my hand. "You're never really alone."
"I know." I stare out the window at the evergreen tunnel we're driving through. I've hunted so many times in woods just like these; for ten years with him by my side, and two alone. I know Carlisle understands, but he just doesn't experience it the same way I do. I envy him his ability to move on. But to be honest, I feel more of a connection to the part of him that mourned for a hundred years. Ninety-eight more years might be enough.
My thoughts are pulled back when he turns into the long and winding drive. It's not like the one in Forks – this one snakes through massive trees, and bounces over graveled ruts.
"I'm sorry about the jostling; we haven't had time to do much about the grounds yet. The builder wanted to leave as many of the mature trees as possible, as part of the effort to keep it green. I figured it would be a good deterrent to any casual visitors." Even as he says it, I notice a security camera mounted to one of the trees, angled toward one of the curves. "I think to save wear and tear on the cars, I'll have to put a place to park close to the road for when the weather's bad." I can just imagine the Maserati in the deep Canadian snow or the mud when it rains.
"Maybe you should trade it for a truck." I have to smile as his face sours, and I recall my own truck, so long gone.
"Why trade, when I can simply add one?" I've forgotten about the Cullen collection of cars. As if responding to that very thought, I see a huge garage in the final stages of being built, way off to the left. The white insulating Tyvec plastic wrap makes it stand out in the otherwise natural setting. I'm trying to judge the number of parking bays, when he turns to the right.
The house appears before us as if by magic, and he drives right up to the huge stone facade of a two story lodge home. It's so different from the house in Forks, I find it hard to believe it's really the home he chose.
"Don't look so surprised. This is what happens when I'm the one who gets to pick out the house. Esme was the one who liked all the 'clean lines' and modern designs. I've always appreciated the more rustic look. It reminds me of the colonial days when I came to this continent."
He parks the car in front, and circles it to help me out. Even before he closes the door, the front door of the house opens up to a delighted feminine squeal, which is followed by a blurred rush of someone hurtling across the front porch, down the steps and into his arms. I think it must be Alice, but quickly my mind realizes the dark haired beauty is definitely not Alice, though she's got arms and legs wrapped around Carlisle, and is kissing his cheeks in a similar kind of exuberance.
He's laughing as he holds her, and after an uncomfortable minute, she puts her feet on the ground and peels herself away from him, to slide an arm around his waist and glue herself to his side.
"Bella, this is one of our new friends, Colette. Colette, this is Bella..." In an instant, she rushes to me and wraps me in a hug no less passionate than what she gave Carlisle. My cheeks are thoroughly kissed by warm lips, and when she pulls back she's laughing.
"I have been waiting so anxiously to meet you, Miss Isabella!"
"It's Bella... and it's Missus," I state dispassionately. Her lovely face falls briefly, and I feel guilty for stealing her joy.
"Pardon moi. I have confused my English again. I apologize sincerely. I have heard so much about you. It's as if you are a fairy tale!" Her French accent is musical, if a little hard to follow. Her huge almond-shaped brown eyes gaze at me in adoration. "All of my kind know of the one called Bella – the one who survived." I hear the word 'survived,' and immediately think of the war. I feel my chest constricting when I think of all who did not survive.
"Bella..." Carlisle takes my hand, focusing me on the present. "... Colette is a hybrid, like Nessie. You've become a bit of a hero to them, as most of them have no mothers."
"I am an orphan." Her words focus my attention on some of the things Carlisle has told me about Joham's monstrous deeds. "My mother was a Congolese, and Joham was my sire." Sire? What a strange thing to call your father. I stare at her face, trying to discern the Caucasian traits of Joham. I've never met him, and didn't even get to see his body, but I know he's the one who ruined my life. I feel a twisted sense of mistrust for this girl, even though I know her only crime was being born.
"Bella, Colette is a healer. It's her supernatural gift. She can heal both human and our kind as well."
"I could not save my mother – though I tried." Her face becomes a mask of unimaginable pain as she speaks the words. I remember how I was when Renesmee was born, and I can't imagine an infant being aware enough to understand such a tragedy. Her relation to Joham is instantly forgotten and I put my arms around her. I cling to a young woman I barely know, who has suffered a loss like mine. I am surprised to feel wetness on my cheeks and it takes a second to register that it's her tears.
I hear the door open, and in seconds I feel as if I can breathe again. A hand on my back soothes me, and Colette pulls away and gives me a small smile. I turn my eyes up to Jasper, who's compassionate eyes stare into mine. He looks exactly the same physically, but he's changed. He never had compassion in his eyes before, and now I can see it in the way he looks at us, and feel it coming from him in warm ripples.
Without a word, he folds me into his arms, and holds me. His is one of the few gifts that penetrates my shield, and I feel enveloped in his calming peace. I'm startled to feel his love as well, and I turn my eyes questioningly to his.
"We've all missed you so much, Bella. We should never have left you in Denali." He again holds me tight. When he finally releases me, I turn and see Colette is once again in Carlisle's arms. "Come inside, I'll show you around and introduce you to our other guests." Carlisle and Colette don't move.
Inside I'm stunned at the enormity of the place. Two stories of open space draws my eyes up to the massive timbers of the ceiling. He smiles at my awed expression. "All reclaimed timber from old barns. There's a whole roof full of solar panels, and we get enough sun to power the lights, water heaters, and electronics." Opposite the front door is a wall of windows as high as the ceiling. "That's all low E recycled glass and composites."
He leads me through the living space toward the glass, and I'm overwhelmed by the view. The ground slopes steeply to a small lake, and there's a huge deck off the back of the house. He opens the door and we step outside. "The deck is all composite, made from recycled plastic bottles." He points off to the right. "There's a stream that feeds the lake, and that pretty little water wheel is a functioning turbine that powers the rest of the house. We're totally self sufficient." He points to the roof. "The gutters collect rain water and store it in a cistern, and it's purified for indoor use. The waste water is purified through a septic system that will decontaminate it so it can be used for watering the lawn – when we have one." My eyes are once again drawn to the lake. It looks peaceful and placid, and as I watch, a fish leaps into the air.
"It's all so beautiful." My eyes pick out a figure circling the lake, and as I stare, I see it's a woman. Again I wonder if it's Alice, but then she begins to run, and I know by her movements that it's not her. She circles the lake at vampire speed, and flies up the steps to the deck. She stops in front of us, and I recognize her. It's Huilen. I catch my breath as we stare at one another, then we gently hug. She too has changed, and I remember the story about her imprisonment, and the way she was forced to feed from Nahuel just to survive. She has always been thin, but she looks drawn as well, and I feel her bones as we hug.
"It is good to see you again, Bella." Her cinnamon colored skin shines in the sun, as if it's been dusted with powdered topaz. She wears a simple floral print sundress, and her hair lies in a single braid. I wonder how attractive her sister must have been, if she is so lovely.
"Is Nahuel here too?" I don't mean to dismiss her presence, but I have never known them to be apart.
She beams radiantly. "He is here with his wife, and their new daughter." I'm stunned. Nahuel is married, and a father as well?
"Come on Bella, I'll introduce you." Jasper leads me back inside, and Huilen follows after us. We walk through the main room, and I take in the gigantic fireplace, handwoven rugs on both hardwood and stone floors, and many pieces of nature brought inside. Above the doorway we're headed to, I can't help but notice a gigantic hornets nest. I forget for a moment that I can't be stung, and I stare in fear and revulsion.
Huilen and Jasper laugh when I balk at getting near it. "Relax Bella, it's just a shell. Nothing lives inside it anymore, and it's plugged up to prevent anything from getting an idea of moving back in. Carlisle found it on one of his nature walks, and he thought it was impressive enough to preserve." I keep my eyes on it as we step through the doorway.
We pass through the kind of kitchen I'd have loved to have had when I was human. Everything is state of the art, but disguised as antique. I wonder that there's a loaf of bread and a jar of cookies sitting on the counter, then I remember Nahuel can eat normal food.
From the kitchen we go through a doorway. There's a hallway leading past four bedrooms, and Huilen points to one. "I am staying in this room." She steps in and invites me to see it. The window looks out on the view of the lake. There's a chaise lounge, an antique sewing machine, a weaving loom, and a collection of fabrics and yarns. "I made this one." She points to the colorful woven rug on the floor, and I tell her how beautiful it is. She shows me a small dress she made for her new great niece as well.
We stop at the door at the end of the hall. "This is Nahuel's suite." He taps on the door, and the man who answers looks very little like I remember Nahiel. His hair is short, and his smile is spontaneous and white.
"Shh, Karina is asleep, but please come in." He timidly hugs me before leading us into his suite. "Gemma has just put her down for her nap. I never knew babies slept so much, but if you ask Gemma, they never sleep at all." He laughs softly.
The sitting room is warm and inviting, and we stand on another of Huilen's handmade rugs. A petite woman steps out of what must be their bedroom, and Nahuel goes to her and puts his arm around her. She looks at me, and for a second I see fear in her eyes. He kisses her temple. "Do not be frightened, Bella is a friend." He speaks in Italian, and his voice is calm and patient, as if he's speaking to a child. She stares at me with large hazel eyes. I can tell from the beating of her heart that she too is a hybrid. He switches back to English to talk to me, obviously leaving her out of the conversation.
"My wife is very fearful of vampires. She was born at Volterra to a drug addicted mother and one of the Volturi guard. She was forced to cannibalize her own mother shortly after her birth, and it has scarred her. She has only recently begun to talk to other people. While we were imprisoned, she was one of those who fed the prisoners, even though she was a prisoner herself. Joham was holding her to force her father to comply with his commands." He holds her tight and kisses her cheek.
"She had been so traumatized she wouldn't speak to anyone. But she spoke to me. She witnessed Huilen feeding from me when she couldn't resist her hunger." He holds out his arms, and I see scars like Jasper wears. Huilen squeezes her eyes shut at the painful sight. He holds up Gemma's arm and she too has the scars. "She saved my life. Without her precious blood, Huilen would have drained me, even though she fought not to feed from me."
He looks me in the eyes. "Seeing your family all those years ago, let me know there could be others like me, and gave me hope that all vampires – Huilen aside – were not destructive monsters. Still, the things we saw at Volterra challenged that belief repeatedly." He smiles, and speaks in Italian, explaining the things he's told us.
I understand her perfectly, when she asks him in Italian if I am dangerous to her baby. I speak up in Italian, explaining that I would never harm a child. She stares at me, clearly terrified, and I realize speaking her language has made her see me as Volturi. I turn and retreat from the situation, back through the house.
I wander through the great room, looking at antiques, carved furniture, and more of Huilen's rugs. I don't belong here. There's no sign of anything I recognize, and I don't feel connected. Jasper comes out and tries to put his arms around me, but I move away.
"She didn't mean to say you were dangerous, Bella. The poor child is very sensitive."
"I know. Edward would have known the right thing to say."
"I wouldn't bet on that." Carlisle comes into the room with Colette trailing after him. "Gemma has had experience with Aro, both before and after the war, and she wouldn't have trusted Edward any more than she trusts any of our kind. I told you there was a lot of damage left at Volterra. Gemma is a perfect example of all that's wrong there.
We're all gathered in the great room: Me, Carlisle, Colette, Jasper, Nahuel, and Huilen. I notice Alice is missing, but I don't say anything. "Speaking of what's wrong in Volterra..." Jasper speaks up, looking at each of us. "... Alice left last night on the jet. She wants us to fly out in a couple days after it returns. It seems Velasquez couldn't get over all the anger at Duarte for their decades of fighting. They attacked each other just outside the city walls, and Velasquez put an end to him. Alice installed the alternate on the council, but now there's an empty seat she needs to get filled. We're hoping to calm everyone before war breaks out, but if those two covens go to war, I'm going to have to call out the Guard."
I stare at him, with all the talk of war.
Carlisle comes alongside me. "Bella, we've decided not to keep the Guard in one place like they used to be at Volterra. What we've instituted is more like the National Guard. They train together, but then they leave and go home, but for a small force in Volterra. When they're needed they're called up to fight. Velasquez and Duarte were both on the council, since they come from large, old covens. But they hated each other, and it seems now we'll need two more council members. We're striving for a balance, and the alternate is formerly Volturi. That puts two of them in place and I'm the lone outsider. We need someone to replace them both, but we need the right people."
"So is everyone leaving again?" I feel a little anxious at the thought of being left alone to rattle around in the new house. Carlisle takes my hand and leads me away from the group. We stand and stare out the window at the lake
"You're going to find this hard to believe, but Alice has authority over me – over you too. If she calls us, we have to come." He runs his fingers through his hair in agitation. "I know you want to see your daughter and grandchildren. We have a couple days to do that since they don't live far from here. We can go tomorrow and spend time there. If you want, you can stay with her while we're gone, or you could come back here and make yourself at home." He looks nervous, as if he'd like to pace. "But what I hope, is that you'll come with us."
"Why would I do that? Volterra is nothing to me. Those who survived the war might be living there, and I just can't pretend that I don't blame them. Besides, the last time I was in Italy, I was with Edward; it's too painful. Why do you even want me to go?"
He sighs, then he does pace, just a few steps before coming back to face me. "I know it's not fair to ask you. I know it's still painful. But Nahuel is on the council. You've seen his wife; she's not settled in here and she's afraid of everything. Huilen will stay with her, but Gemma is a new mother and she has no idea what she's doing. Nahuel wants to stay here with his wife and their baby." He pauses and looks at me apologetically. "He would give you his proxy, and you could take his place on the council – temporarily."
"You've got to be kidding me. I don't have any qualifications for leadership."
"That's exactly why you'd be perfect. Nahuel trusts you, and you're a mother to a hybrid. You're legendary among them. If you go, Nahuel can stay with his wife and child, and you'll be a great help to us in fixing this mess."
"I want to see my daughter and her family first. If they don't need me... I'll go."