Chapter 14

Grandma

Jasper doesn't even slow down as he asks me the kinds of questions that make me want to run for cover. He reaches out quick and takes my hand.

"There's no need to be afraid. I'm the last person who would be sitting in judgment of you. It just seems a little sudden to me. One day you're off drowning your sorrows on the island, and not long after your return, I'm feeling these powerful feelings of...would you like to fill me in on just what I'm feeling?" The corner of his mouth turns up, and I know he's laughing at my discomfort.

"Do we have to talk about this now? I mean this is all new to me, and I still haven't got a handle on it myself."

"Are you making love?" His southern lilt takes some of the edge off of the personal question.

"No. I mean not yet – or maybe never." I sigh in exasperation. "He doesn't want to go that far, unless we're in love and committed."

He nods and smiles. "Nice to know he hasn't changed that much." He glances my way. "It sounds like you have a different agenda." I don't know how much I should tell him. Funny after all this time, I trust the most dangerous of us so completely.

"I want him." My words hang in the air between us.

"That's a pretty powerful statement. I take it you're not talking about..."

"...I want to make love with him." I look over and see I've thrown him off his stride. I groan and throw up my hands. "You're right, Jasper. This is crazy. I still miss Edward, and it still tears me up that he's gone. But when I'm with Carlisle, he holds me and... it's so good. I just want the loneliness to stop, and as long as long as we're together, it does. I just want to feel alive, desirable, and vibrant again. I get so carried away with the way he touches me, his kisses, and even the way his body feels against mine." I growl and shake my head in frustration.

"That's a pretty powerful attraction you're feeling. Does he feel the same?"

"He's come close to getting carried away, then he says he won't unless we're in love. Then he kisses me and I just melt. He wants to court me, but he doesn't want to make love – because he wants to so badly. My god, is this just two years worth of lust, or is there something more?" I look at him as if he has all the answers, and he just laughs.

"Bella, I can't answer that for you. But you're enough like me, I'd have to question if you even have it in you to do the deed with someone you don't love. Carlisle's a good man. You've known that for years even if you didn't think about it. Maybe on some level it registered how good he would be for you."

"You don't think it's wrong? I mean he's practically my father-in-law. Doesn't that disgust you?"

He laughs. "Bella, my last name has been Whitlock, Hale, Brandon, and Cullen. I've been related to this family in several different ways, depending on our cover story. It's all a role play, and none of us are related except by marriage. Carlisle was Edward's creator – his sire. He's been the leader of this coven family for over a hundred years. That alone is the blood bond. Carlisle didn't change you, Edward did. You're not related to him in any way, unless you choose to be."

"So it's okay in your book?"

"Bella, I'm not the one who's going to have a problem with it. I think you two would make a great couple. And if it keeps the two of you from wasting away in sadness and loneliness, so much the better." He looks at me, appearing to neglect the road. "Just be careful. Your memories will be with you a very long time.

"Thanks Jasper." The drive goes fast, and we line up to board the Black Bell Ferry to Port Angeles. Once we park inside the cavernous ship, we get out and go up on deck. The day is overcast, and I stand by the railing hoping to catch a glimpse of an orca, or other sea life.

As I stand there, I hear a small commotion behind me. I look and see Colette squatting in front of a middle-aged man in a wheelchair. She's chatting with him in rapid French, and her hand rests on his knee. Even as I watch, he sits up straighter, and the twist in his spine seems to right itself. She falls backward with a thump, and Carlisle hurries to help her up. She hides it well, but I can see her back is twisted, and she's in a lot of pain.

I hurry to help her, but she has her arm around Carlisle, and she's leaning into him. She smiles up at me with gritted teeth. "It is okay Bella, Carlisle has me now." Still, I put my arm around her so we look casual, as we walk away from the man who hasn't yet realized he's been fully healed. We duck inside with her between us, and carefully sit her in a chair. She's breathing hard and her face glistens with sweat, as she beams up at Carlisle as he attends her.

I feel a tug at my elbow and go along with Jasper as he leads me out of hearing distance. "Make no mistake, that has nothing to do with healing that man. She's putting you on notice that you're in for a fight."

"Why would she want that? She doesn't love him." I can see her leaning into him as he comforts her.

"Actually, she does." His words make me feel suddenly sick. "But it's not romantic or intimate – at least not yet." He looks at me intently. "To be honest it's nothing like what I'm feeling from you. Little sister if he's the one you want, don't waste too much time making up your mind." His lips brush my forehead and he steps away to help Nahuel with the baby stroller.

I look toward Colette again, and Carlisle is rubbing her back. I go to the snack bar and buy a few things before I go back to them.

I sit down beside her with a smile. "Here you go sweetie, I've got you something cold to drink and an ice pack." Carlisle encourages her to drink something,and she grudgingly accepts my help.

"That was a very brave thing you did for that man." I smile as I rub her shoulders. I can feel her body magically repairing itself. It looks as if she'll be back to normal by the time the ferry reaches the other side. "There's no telling how long he's had to live with his deformity. He hasn't even figured out he's well yet. Wouldn't you like to see the look on his doctor's face when he has his next check-up?" I smile as Carlisle chuckles at that. I sit with them, and when her legs cramp, I help massage them until they feel better.

Jasper's words at first shook me up, but then I realized I wasn't going to change because of her agenda. All things considered, I actually like Colette, and her talent is phenomenal. I'd looked at the two of them and it just hit me that Carlisle was by himself. A little voice whispered in my mind, asking me what Esme would do in the same situation if she were here.

As the Port Angeles shore comes into view, we head back to our cars. Jasper sits beside me in the dim light, and I hear his soft laughter.

"Well played. You're going to kill her with kindness."

"I'm not playing. I'm too old for these juvenile little competitions. You know to be honest, I don't want the kind of man who would fall for that kind of manipulation. If a little bit of female attention is all it takes to win him over, then I'm not going to be the one to stand in the way. I've been deeply and truly in love, and I know what the real thing feels like. I'm not looking for a pale imitation." I feel the boat rocking as we near the landing.

He takes my hand in his. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like this was a game. You're absolutely right; Carlisle won't fall for her tricks."

I sigh. "I don't know if I'm ready for this, Jasper. Sometimes I'm just so caught up in the memories, it's all I can do to function. This attraction... whatever it is, it's a little overwhelming right now." I look at him in the confines of the car. "I often feel like I'm being disloyal to Edward for even thinking about Carlisle. Then I feel like I'm being unfair to Carlisle because I still wish Edward was alive. I don't know how to reconcile what is with what was. And if I do fall for him, then how do I keep from comparing the two? How do I get over the idea that I'll never measure up to Esme?"

He gives a gentle tug on my hand and pulls me toward him. I'm wrapped in his arms, and he holds me tight. He lets me go when the ferry begins unloading.

"You don't have to worry about measuring up to Esme. Just be yourself and don't worry about being measured on someone else's yardstick. People are different, and I've found it truly is like comparing apples to oranges. You don't want a crisp orange."

"What? You lost me there."

"If you start to compare the two, you'll realize they're not the same. But those differences won't matter the way you think they will. Maybe you'll start to enjoy nature hikes and nonfiction, and it'll be okay to miss piano playing. It's okay to miss him, just as Carlisle will continue to miss her. It's not like you've got to make a choice which to love more. Ask yourself this; could you decide which of your grandchildren you love more?"

"That's different, they're children. I love them both the same."

He laughs. "That's not true either. We just don't love people the same. We may not favor one over the other, but we love them individually. Anyone who tries to love two children the same, always does a disservice to both. One might need lots of hugs and attention, while another thrives on encouragement and allowing them to do things themselves."

"How did you get so smart?"

"I got my degree in Psychology the last go around. I was actually thinking about opening an office before the war." His words startle me. I'd been so caught up in my own losses and how my life had been torn apart, I didn't give any thought to how everyone else's lives had been affected. "To be honest, I can't wait until someone else comes along to take over the Guard. I'm good at it, but it's not lost on me that Emmett would have been the best choice for the job."

"I'm sure you do a great job."

He smiles. "I know I'm good, darlin. But I'm ready to move on to something a little less physical. I don't want to be busting heads and schooling stupid for the rest of my life. But Volterra is in trouble right now. If we hadn't stepped in when we did, we'd have had a whole section of Europe overrun with unschooled, lawless, blood drinkers.

"As it was, one of the first things Alice had to deal with was the media. There have been some sensational news stories that got out; a couple grisly murders that received national attention. We've been working hard to make sure Volterra is once again the safe and peaceful place it's always seemed. We also discovered that with Joham in charge, their financial resources have been totally depleted. Of course it didn't help that the faith they've tied themselves to has taken a hit in the world of public opinion. Pedophile priests have been bad for tourism." He sneers.

"Do you think I'll recognize anyone there?" I still don't want to go, but the more I hear about all the problems there, the more I think I need to go and see it for myself.

"Aro is the only one you'll likely recognize. Most of the old faces are gone. There are a lot of new vampires and hybrids, and a few... experiments." His eyes darken and he grips the wheel tighter. "Joham really did try to play God. I thought I'd seen everything, but Joham was truly in a class by himself. Well, maybe Hitler and Mengele were in there with him. Bella, he experimented on his own children. I swear if he were alive today, we'd have to have a lottery to see who would get to kill him."

We drive from the ferry through Port Angeles. My eyes automatically seek out the restaurant where Edward and I had our first date. Instead I see a motorcycle parked at a bar a block away. It only serves as a reminder of how much I'd missed him when he left me while I was still human.

"...Bella, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

"I said Gemma and your daughter have really hit it off. She wouldn't make the trip for just anyone. Nessie came to visit when Gemma gave birth, since she'd been through it herself. She knew exactly what to expect, and she was really good at coaching her through it. It was a fairly routine delivery, but the poor kid just didn't know how to handle it. Colette took on a lot of the pain for her, but even still, she was nearly in a state of panic." He looks at me, and I can see he's holding something back.

"What is it?"

"I can't confirm it, but I suspect she's given birth before. Carlisle agrees that the signs are all there, but she doesn't remember it. Nahuel never saw her pregnant or with a child. But we don't even know when she was born or how old she is.. There's still not a law on record against impregnating anyone; human or hybrid. Gemma's experiences have traumatized her so much that it took everything I had to keep her from full out panic when Karina was born. And when Nahuel handed her the baby, she didn't want to let go of her. We were afraid she would hurt her she held on so tight. It took two days before Carlisle could examine the child, and he had to wait for Gemma to completely exhaust herself."

"You think they got her pregnant and stole her baby?"

"I think that, and much more. You know she remembers having to feed on her own mother, but she doesn't remember having a baby. If it was a vampire sire, he could have raped her, and the pregnancy would have only lasted a month. In fact they could have raped her – bred her – several times, and who knows what they could do to make her forget. Her mind is like Swiss cheese."

"That's enough – stop!" I put my hands over my ears in a childish effort to stop the images from invading my head. I can't stand the thought that depravity of that nature exists. But I know it does. I feel ashamed. I look over at him as he drives, and I can tell his mind is still on Gemma and what was done to that sweet, innocent girl.

"Just when I think I've got a right to my sadness, grief and anger, I hear something like this and realize how childish I've been."

He takes my hand again. "You don't need to make excuses for how you feel. You can't shut off your emotions like a faucet. No one knows that better than I do.

"I'll be honest, I was totally unprepared for Volterra. My gift made it so much harder, since I could feel what was behind the crumbling facade. Everywhere I turned, there was emotional trauma. Joham treated his people like puppets or pawns, and he had no regard whatsoever for their own desires. And you know as well as I do that the Volturi operated in a similar fashion even before he arrived. Half the reason we stayed so far away, was because Chelsea delighted in splitting up mated pairs. She tried to weaken my bond with Alice the last time I was there."

It shocks me to hear his revelation, and I have to wonder if she tried it on Edward. With my shield, she couldn't have affected me. But then again, Aro wouldn't have wanted Edward, and he didn't know I was going to be such a powerful tool. He'd always coveted Alice and her prophesies. It chills me to think about what Joham would have done with her ability at his disposal. If he could have foreseen his death that day, he might have kept himself and the leaders out of the combat.

"I don't know if I'm ready for all that. I wish I could just stay behind and..."

"...and do what? Bella, you know I care about you, and that's why I think you'd be crazy to stay behind. There are a lot of memories waiting here, and you don't do well in those kinds of circumstances."

"I know. How long do you think we'll be gone? I really don't want to be apart from my grandchildren if it's going to take another two years."

He smiles and pats my hand. "I don't think any of us want to be apart from them for that long. Sarah's a doll baby, and her baby brother is all big eyes and wonder." I'm glad he's distracted from his dark thoughts.

"You were there when he was born?" I don't know why, but I just assumed that Carlisle and Colette would have come alone.

"Of course, it was practically a family reunion. In fact, I think that's when Alice started getting worried about you. She told Carlisle it was time to go and bring you home from the island. He put it off for several days while he made sure the baby was all right. I think he was reluctant to go to the island without Esme. I offered to go, but Alice insisted he was the one."

Before Jasper can get a reading on my emotions, I block him. He glances at me, and I'm sure he knows what I'm doing. It's as if I've closed the window that was open to him before. I feel conflicted, wondering if Alice saw what would happen between us on the island. Or did she see how far over the edge I'd slipped, and simply wanted to protect her husband from seeing me naked and in pain.

I relax my guard, and smile an apology.

We turn onto the reservation lands, and there's a rusted sign telling us the property is private. Underneath someone has spray painted: Trespassers will be fed to the wolves. Jasper navigates the unadorned blacktop road behind Carlisle in the SUV. I keep expecting the unwelcoming committee to come and ask us to leave, and tell us we're breaking the treaty.

The treaty was voided the day Nessie and Jacob got married. It was a wedding present to her from the tribe. It's still understood that there will be no killing tolerated in the area. But they understand that we'll be standing with them rather than against them if it comes down to a fight with vampires killing in their territory.

As we get close to their house, I find myself looking for familiar landmarks: The abandoned barn, the tree split by lightning, the rusted out Volkswagen bus, and the ramshackle garage where Jacob used to work on his car. But the garage is gone, as is the old house where he lived with Billy. He tore it all down three years back, so he could build their home on the property.

The two story house he built almost looks like it doesn't belong on the reservation. The lower level is fronted by a wide front porch, with a white railing. The upper level has four gabled windows looking over the roof. I know from my first visit to the home, that there's a lower level suite at both ends of the house. One is where Billy stays, and the other is for Ness and Jacob. She giggled when she told me all the upstairs bedrooms were for the kids she planned to have. As we pull into the driveway, I can't help but think she's doing a good job of reaching her goal.

I'm so caught up in my own thoughts, that I'm almost surprised when Jasper opens my door. By the time I get the presents out, everyone else is crossing the front porch. Jasper takes my packages from me, ever the southern gentleman.

Jacob waits inside the door as I bring up the end of the line. I meet his eyes, and he immediately enfolds me in the kind of hug that knows no boundaries. I haven't seen him since Sarah was small, and I'm suddenly conscious of just how much I missed my friend.

He looks as if he hasn't changed a bit, and I experience a deja vu moment, as I remember how he helped me get over losing Edward thirteen years ago. There are so many differences between now and then, even if Jacob looks like he's barely twenty-one. Edward isn't ever coming back, and Jacob isn't in love with me. He loves our daughter, and I pull away from his arms and the uncomfortable memories.

Nessie stands amid all the cooing guests, holding a little bundle in her arms. She steps away from them and comes my way. My breath catches as I see Edward's crooked grin and his green eyes I never got to see, on her beaming face.

"Would you like to meet your grandson, Mom?" She doesn't wait for me to answer, but gently transfers him to my arms. I stare down at the face of an angel, and his big brown eyes gaze up at me in wonder. "We're calling him Masen Embry Black – at least the adults are. But Sarah insists on calling him Scooby." I can't help but smile at my daughter. I don't need Jasper's ability to feel the happiness radiating from her.

As if the mention of her name was the signal, a little ball of energy charges through the room and barrels into my legs. If I had been human, she might have made me fumble the baby. Instead I scoop her up with one arm and deposit her on my hip. Chubby arms reach around my neck and squeeze me tight.

"I missed you, Gramma!" She kisses my cheek, wet, sticky, and smelling like peanut butter, jelly and milk – it's lovely.

"I missed you too, Sarah!" I kiss her soft little cheek. It surprises me that she even remembers me, but I've been told her memory is phenomenal. She leans over and boldly pokes her baby brother. I'm worried she might hurt him, but he grins at her.

"Put the puppy down Gramma, and let's play!" She wiggles out of my arms while I'm digesting what she called her little brother. Jacob ruffles her hair with a laugh, as she scoots between all the adult legs.

He stands beside me and looks proudly at his son in my arms. "Don't look so shocked Bella. She's been calling him a puppy since he was born. She told me puppies are much better than babies, and she really loves him."

She comes running back in, expertly dodging around Huilen as she launches herself at her dad. He dutifully hoists her up onto his shoulders and she shows me the stuffed animal dogs she holds in her hands. She has to lean over, as Jacob is so tall her head could touch the ceiling.

I pay proper homage to her favorite toys, then turn to look down at the baby while she's distracted with putting imaginary paw prints on the ceiling. It comes as a little shock when I realize I've seen this child before. He looks enough like Jacob, I'm reminded of the image that played through my mind when I chose Edward over him. I had to let go of the dream of the two perfect children I could only have if I chose to stay with my sun.

I don't think anyone could possibly understand the smile that refuses to leave my face. I kiss his tiny little cheeks and nose, feeling like I've been given a gift. I gaze up at Jacob with a grin.

"He looks just like you – well except for his nose." I'd know that nose on any face. It's Edward's. I don't want to let him go, and for quite a while no one even asks me to.

It's Gemma who asks to hold him, and I can't really say no. She offers me Karina to hold in his place. I hand Masen to Ness, and Gemma places her tiny daughter in my arms. I feel awed that she trusts me, especially in light of what Jasper has shared.

Karina is beautiful, and she looks at me with wide, innocent eyes. I feel just a little out of my depth, as Nessie grew up so fast I barely got to hold her as a baby. I was an only child, and I never really spent time around children. After the change it was even harder, since kids notice our differences much more than adults do. I admire Karina, then hand her to Nahuel.

Sarah tugs on my shirt, again asking me to play with her. I offer her my hand, and she leads me from the room and up the stairs. Her bedroom is a riot of colors, with a rainbow mural, and a twin bed full of stuffed animals, which are mostly dogs. Her curtains are purple, her lamp has a pink shade, and her rug is teal blue. The bedspread is a bold apple green, and the headboard is bright yellow.

Even with the chaos of the colors, it looks like a very happy room, and Sarah hops up on the bed and starts to jump, as if it's a trampoline. I grab hold of her and tickle her. Her delighted little squeal reminds me of Nessie. As soon as she pulls away, she digs into the pile of fluffy toys and hands them to me one at a time.

"This is a fox named Annie, and this is a Dalmatian named Polka Dot, and this is a Poodle named Doodle, and this is a Cocker Spaniel named Tessa, and this is a German Shepherd named Grandpa Billy..." She giggles as she passes me the gray furred dog. I have my arms full, and she still has a pile to introduce.

"Grandpa Curly!" She abandons me with her zoo, and scoots to the edge of the bed. She stands precariously on the edge and leaps into his arms. Carlisle's laughing as he catches her, and he flips her up onto one shoulder as she holds out her arms like an airplane. It's easy to see they've practiced the choreography before. He flies her around the room while she makes the appropriate airplane noises, then he bounces her into a soft landing on her bed.

I tickle her again, just to hear her squeal, and she wiggles out of my reach, rolling over to Carlisle as he sits on the other end of the bed. Her T-shirt has inched up, and he surprises her when he blows raspberries on her belly. She giggles and retreats onto my lap, as he pretends to prowl up to her. She squeals and almost climbs me as she tries to get away from him. I feel her heart racing and see her eyes widen in alarm.

"It's okay Sarah, Grandpa's just playing." I try to sooth her, but I've read the signs wrong . She's not a bit afraid, and she scoops up a little stuffed rabbit and bops him in the nose with it. Then she laughs out loud as he swipes her from my lap to hold her up and pretend to chew a hole in her tummy. I watch them play, and it surprises me how fearless and active she is. Then I remember she is Jacob's child.

Carlisle has tired her out a bit, and she again climbs onto my lap, bringing a book with her. She wants to read to me, and I'm surprised how well she does with a book that seems too old for her. As she reads Shiloh, Carlisle sits beside me and we listen to her tiny little voice as she goes through the book she's obviously read before.

As soon as she gets to a good stopping place I hurry downstairs and bring up the presents I bought for her. Ness comes up with me, leaving the baby downstairs, and we get to watch Sarah open her gifts. With each present she opens, I get a big hug, and after three big hugs, Carlisle swipes one to hand to her.

"Oh no you don't, that's my hug." I tease, as I steal it back.

"Aw come on, you can part with one. I need hugs too." He makes a big deal out of pouting, and Sarah wraps her arms around him and presses her cheek against his. He sticks his tongue out at me over her shoulder, and I laugh.

"You're going to spoil her, Mom." Ness looks at the clothes, books and other presents, and smiles indulgently.

"I hope so. It's my job, and I've been pretty slack about it up til now." I get up and wrap my arms around her. I whisper so she can hear. "I'm sorry I've stayed away so long. I should have been here for you, and I don't just mean when Masen was born. I forgot you lost him too." She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye.

"I'm just glad you're back and feeling better. " She glances at Carlisle, who's helping Sarah put her new clothes away. "I can show you the delivery, if you want." At my nod, she leads me into another room where Sarah won't disturb us. She lays her soft palm on my cheek with a smile.

The images that flash through my mind feel like daydreams, and I "see" every step of her labor and delivery, from the first sharp pain, all the way to the moment where everyone gets to meet her new son. I'm grateful she's edited out the more painful parts, but I'm happy to see that she was never alone. It surprises me to see her vehement refusal of Colette's help, and it almost brings me to tears to see the way Jacob holds, comforts, and supports her.

I see Carlisle with her the whole way. In fact it's Carlisle who delivers the baby, and he's the first to hold him. I see his first cries as he's cleaned up and then placed in his mother's arms. I get the first glimpse of the tiny baby boy with the big brown eyes, through the eyes of his mother.

When she finishesshowing me her memories, I'm holding her, and my face is pressed against hers. I pull away a second, and then hug her tight again . For just a moment I let myself remember that I could have lost her if not for what Edward did. I could have lost her if Esme hadn't protected her. I remember I tried to end my own life as well. How could I have been so foolish? She has just shown me a glimpse of one of the most precious gifts in life. And I almost missed it.

We spend the day with them, and those who can eat are treated to dinner. I spend time holding my grandson, reading to Sarah, talking to Ness about all that I've missed, and just feeling like I've actually rejoined the living. I find myself smiling and even laughing at the many stories that are told. I think about staying behind with Ness and Jacob, but they really don't need me.

When the sun begins to set, we say our goodbyes. I hug and kiss my family, and promise I'll be sure to visit often. Sarah gives me one of her stuffed dogs to take with me, and I remember it's the Poodle named Doodle, and I kiss her cheeks and tell her I'll take good care of it.

We all head to Port Angeles, and Nahuel's group is just in time to catch the last ferry. The rest of us head toward the small private airport. Up until now I've been able to ignore that we're actually going to Italy aboard a private jet owned by the Volturi. I'm even more aware, when the pilot speaks to us in Italian. It's surreal to go from a simple family visit on a poor reservation, to sitting in the luxury of a private jet.

Jasper does me a favor, and he claims he wants to talk to Colette. He takes her hand, and sits with her in a row near the back of the plane, while Carlisle takes the seat beside me near the front. Even before we take off, he holds my hand in his. I look at his face and note his kind eyes, and his amused smile. We're far enough away from Jasper and Colette, that we won't be easily observed through the tall leather seats.

"I've missed this." His words are soft, and he kisses my fingers that are knit together with his. "I was dying to know what you and Jasper were talking about on the drive this afternoon."

"He knows... I mean he knows that we're..."

"He knows I want to be your lover?" Just the way he says it makes my breath catch. He laughs softly. "I can still imagine you blushing." He pushes my hair behind my ear and pulls me close. "I wish we could be alone on this trip." I feel his lips near my ear, and he places impossibly soft kisses down my neck, and I sigh.

I'm not sure what Jasper is doing to keep Colette's attention, but she doesn't come to claim her doctor from me. I spend the hours of the trip, just nestled against him, as we talk softly about anything and everything. I knew he was easy to talk to, but it surprises me how he can follow me on any track our conversation takes. He can tell me about the developmental stages of our granddaughter, he knows all about the jet we're flying in, and he clarifies a few points about the baby's birth.

For the whole trip to Italy, neither of us read nor turn to other distractions. We talk, and I feel like I'm getting to know him better. He fills me in on what's been happening recently in Volterra, and tells me about some of the people I'm likely to meet. He explains the procedures of the council, and talks about their responsibilities. I learn that he hopes to give up his spot once everything is put in order.

"Leadership on that scale is not my calling. I fully intend to give it up once the supernatural world is calmer."

"So,what does the future hold for you?" His eyes hold mine for a long time, then he smiles.

"I want what I've always wanted. I want to take care of my patients. I want a little peace in my life... friends and family...a meaningful existence." His eyes take on an intensity. "I want someone to share that with me." He squeezes my fingers. I can almost feel it on the tip of his tongue, that he want's to say he thinks I'm that person. I'm not sure I can be, but I want to be that person. He's outlined an idyllic life, and I can imagine how nice that would be.

When the jet lands in Italy, there's a limo waiting for us. He holds my hand as we deplane, and I cling to him nervously.