Chapter 18 reminder
He releases my wrist, and his hand slides around my neck. "You were everything to him, and he walked away and left you... he didn't think you could possibly love him as much as he loved you. He agonized over the thought of you in another man's arms." He holds me close, looking down into my eyes, and I'm so caught up in the memories of Edward, I can't pull away.
He softly strokes my face with his fingers. "There's a lot I could offer you, if you were my mate." Like a bucket of ice water dumped over me, his words shock me out of my reverie. Before I manage to pull away from him, he kisses me. I clamp my lips shut and try to twist away from him, but his arms tighten and he holds me still.
His lips slide along my face and he presses his cheek to mine. He murmurs softly in my ear. "Bella please... you're so quiet... so peaceful... you could help me forget her...I could learn to love you. I can touch you and not hear your thoughts... it's blissful. I can do the things he did for you...I can be what you want. Just give me a chance. I'll leave them alone." He pulls back so he can look me in the eye. "Give me a chance Bella, and I'll leave Jasper and Alice alone."
Chapter 19
Mind Games
I can't believe what I'm hearing. How could he declare his love for Alice in one breath, and ask me to be his mate in the next?
"Let go of me! You're not making any sense!" I struggle, realizing how strong he really is, but gradually he releases me. "I don't know what time period you were born in, but the cave man schtick doesn't work anymore!" I back away from him and lean against the door.
"You're right, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being so forward."
"Forward? Is that what you call it?" I can't believe his audacity. "I was afraid you were going to rape me in your daughter's bedroom! Oh god, they can probably hear everything." I turn and put my hand on the doorknob to leave.
"Wait... please." He sits on her bed. "I promise I won't touch you again." The tone of his voice stops me. It's as if the pride and arrogance have been drained out of it. "I really am sorry." He pushes his fingers through his loose curls. "I am out of touch. I may not have loved Sulpicia, but I was married to her for a very long time. I am now a single man, and the world has passed me by. For all of my thoughts of setting her aside, it likely would never have happened. Isn't that the age-old promise of the married man?" He smiles ruefully.
There's a tap at the door. "Papa, may I come in?" I step away from the door and Arianna timidly comes in. He stands and pulls her to him, running his fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. He's made enough of a show of it, I understand he's sifted through her memory already He steps out of her room and beckons to me.
I follow him down the hall, and he steps into his own room. "Come in, I won't bite you – or ravish you as the case may be." I'm not sure what his next ploy will be, and I really should leave. But I'm actually afraid of confronting Carlisle if I go. I step into his lair, leaving the door open.
I'd glimpsed the antiques and artifacts from the hall, but I'm overwhelmed with them in his room. He invites me to sit on an antique settee, and he sits carefully at the other end. As much as I'd like to stare at the contents of the room, I'm afraid to turn my back on him.
"I confronted Vito about what he did to Arianna. I was quite prepared to execute him where he stood. But his father assured me Vito was with him at the time of the attack, and he could back it up with his memories. As much as it pains me, Vito is innocent."
I sit quiet and still.
"I don't appreciate being made a fool!" He exhales slowly, as if he's making an effort to calm himself. "Still, I can understand that I have crossed boundaries that should not have been crossed with Alice. Regardless of how I feel for her, she is still married – for the time being." He shifts uncomfortably, then looks me in the eyes.
"I confess, I am not the most romantic of men. I have never had to be. Still, I have plucked the knowledge of love, and romance from the minds of those much more accomplished than I could ever be. I would like the opportunity to woo you."
"I don't understand... you told me you love Alice. Why would you ask me to be the consolation prize?" I feel a pang of sympathy for how I treated Carlisle.
"In a few short years, my children will be mature and self-sufficient. When they leave, I'll be all alone. I don't suffer loneliness well. Everyone I knew is gone. Everything I poured my life and passion into has been lost or it's unrecognizable. I feel like I'm being forced to confront the modern age, and I am ill equipped to handle it." He pointedly looks around the room. "I want someone to help me learn to live in this new life. I think you would be good for me."
"It sounds like you're hiring an assistant, not looking for someone to be romantically involved with you." I take the bull by the horns. "Besides, I'm already involved with someone."
"Carlisle...yes, I know." He smiles devilishly. "I confess, part of the reason I want you, is because he wants you too. It will give me great satisfaction to take something from him he desires."
"Why?"
"He lied to me! No one lies to me! No one. I also know you shielded her mind." He slides closer to me. He reaches out and takes my hand. "I'm going to pursue you, Bella. And I'm going to win you, right out from under him." He kisses the back of my hand, butterfly soft. "I'll be good to you. I can be a good and faithful husband. I know that wrapped in your quiet arms, I'll forget her. I'll learn to love you, and I'll make you love me."
It's so surreal, having the most powerful creature in the known world declaring his interest in me. I don't agree to any of his strange statements. I love Carlisle, and Aro doesn't stand a chance.
"I really think it's time for me to go." Before I can get up he puts his hand gently on my arm
"Stay..." He looks at me expectantly. "...Please. It's not time for my children to go to bed yet. Talk to me... I rarely have a need to speak with anyone." He again takes my hand in his. "It's nice to be able to touch someone without knowing their every thought." I feel like I should pull my hand away, but the simple contact seems to calm him. He relaxes beside me, and sighs softly.
"Even before I was turned, I could read people. Not the way I can now, but I've always been perceptive and able to tell what people were thinking by their facial expressions, body language, eyes, temperature, breathing, and any number of different tells. It was almost impossible to lie to me. The change gave me this power, and I've been fighting to manage it ever since."
"You're son isn't doing so well with his."
He groans. "Armando is... a challenge. His mother was a drug addict, and I'm afraid he's following in her footsteps."
"No. He's trying to drown out his power."
"You've spent five minutes with him and you feel qualified to tell me I'm wrong!"
"I spent over ten years with Edward... I know how hard it was for him sometimes." I lift his hand, which is still clutching mine. "You get to choose when and if to touch – Armando does not. I'm the only one he couldn't read."
"You're a mind reader's delight!" He smiles and presses his lips to my hand.
"That may be true. But he needs help, or you're going to lose him. Think how much harder it has to be for him. You can read someone, then sift through their thoughts at your own leisure. Armando has it all coming at him all the time. Surface thought are often inane and shallow. They're the lists people construct, the longings they can't contain, the minutia of the day, and all the basic wants and desires for everything from food to sex. He's only sixteen, and he's likely seen every manner of fantasy that can be dreamed up."
"I know all about those kinds of thoughts. I see them too – I've learned to ignore them."
"Armando hasn't learned. He's only had eight years to learn everything he knows now. Edward didn't get his ability until he was seventeen. He had a strong and loving teacher to help him through it. He had a year away from other minds, and he eventually had friends he could trust around him. Armando missed some of those things. Then you add to it Joham's brainwashing, and life without a mother, and I'd be surprised if he wasn't doing drugs."
"I don't know why you're bringing this up." He looks annoyed. "I wanted to talk about you; or if you prefer – me."
"You assume I'm going to just fall in line with your whole courtship plan. I'm not. I won't let you hurt my family. And you're crazy if you think I'm just gong to fall for you because of who you are, or because you can threaten Jasper and Alice." I sit up and pull my hand away from him. "I came here to check up on Arianna, and to be honest, Armando worries me just as much. But I'm not playing these games with you, Aro." I stand up with every intention of leaving.
"Armando!" He bellows the name, and it reminds me so much of how Charlie used to call to me when the phone was for me. In seconds the boy slouches into his father's room, looking guilty. I have to wonder how much of our conversations he's listened in on. The look he gives Aro says it all; he's heard everything.
"I want you to sit in here for a while, and talk with Bella. I'm going to go and find out what's keeping Aurora. You don't mind sitting with my children, do you Bella?" He clearly doesn't expect me to refuse him.
"I really should be going..."
"I won't be long. Please." Armando scowls, clearly seeing the intention behind his father's ploy.
"This isn't going to work, Aro. I don't need to be a mind reader to know what you're up to. But I don't mind a chance to get to know Armando better." I smile at his son, and he rolls his eyes in response. Aro smiles triumphantly, then disappears.
As soon as he's gone, Armando plops onto the settee and produces a pack of cigarettes and lights one.
"Would you mind not smoking, please?" I try for politeness, but his glare tells me he doesn't care.
"What's the big deal? You're a frickin vampire; it's not as if you'll get lung cancer." He sounds like he's maybe twelve, but he looks like he's a young adult. He puffs on his cigarette and insolently blows smoke rings.
"Please, Armando. I may not get cancer, but I don't like the smell, and I don't like the chance of starting a fire, and …. this room is full of antiques that are easily damaged by smoke."
He sneers and pulls a small, obviously antique china bowl from the side table, and stubs out his cigarette in the beautiful glass. "Happy?" He taunts.
"I can't believe I used to be a teenager like you once."
"You were never like me, babe. I know your kind, even if I can't read your mind. All good girl, sweet and innocent, color inside the lines, do what you're told."
I laugh harshly at his assessment. "I lied to my father, snuck a boy into my bed every night, and I was rarely where I said I would be. And my dad was the police chief. You think you've got a monopoly on rebellion?" I sit down beside him. "I know what's behind this whole bad boy image."
"This ain't no image, this is who I am." He's so cocky and insolent, and yet I can see he's baiting me, trying to get a reaction out of me.
"You didn't get a chance to meet my husband. He died in the war." I try to keep the sadness from taking over.
"You were married? You look like you're barely eighteen."
"I was almost nineteen when I was changed." I realize he hasn't put it together than I'm the first to survive giving birth to a hybrid. I really don't want to get into that right now. "My husband was a vampire, and he was exactly like you."
He laughs with both amusement and derision. "There isn't anyone exactly like me, babe."
"He could read minds the same way you do." I don't push him, and slowly he absorbs what I've said.
"You're Edward Cullen's wife – shit!" He stands up nervously, then sits back down. "I didn't know, ma'am. I'm sorry!"
His sudden change catches me off guard, and I laugh loud and long, while he watches me in confusion. "What did they tell you about us? You look like you expect me to sprout wings and fly."
"Maybe angels wings...you're the First Mother! You're practically the Madonna around here." His eyes narrow and his lips turn up in a twisted smile. "You were going to kick my ass," he snorts. "Who would have thought Isabella Cullen had such balls!"
I have to giggle at that. "I'm not Madonna – she's still a singer as far as I'm concerned. And for the record, I'm not in the habit of kicking anyone's ass. The only one I really wanted a crack at is already dead."
"It sounded like you could have gone toe to toe with Pops. But don't worry, he affects everyone that way. Might do him some good to come down a few notches."
It's plain to see the resentment on his face. "You two don't get along, do you?"
He snorts. "Like fire to gasoline. He hates me. No one can live up to his precious Aurora. Ari and I are barely tolerated. As soon as we're old enough, we're outta here." He looks at me closely. "Damn, I really can't read you. It's like you're a walking corpse... I mean... ah hell, I always say the wrong thing!"
"It's okay." I laugh softly. "I used to confound Edward too. It used to drive him nuts that he could read everyone but me."
"I like that I can't read you. Everybody always judges me."
"I'm not judging you. I think you've got one of the hardest powers to deal with. I wouldn't want it myself. The only one tougher is Alice's."
"The fortune teller," he snorts. "Yeah, Pops likes her quite a bit. He thinks I don't know he's been nailing her."
"Please! Can you just tone it down a bit... for me?"
"Sorry... I forgot." He looks momentarily ashamed. "I try not to read his mind. There's way too much shit...uh...stuff going on in there. You're not seriously interested in him, are you?"
"Would that bother you?" The look on his face says clearly it would. "No. I'm not seriously interested in him."
"Good. He thinks you're a Rook." At my blank look he explains. "Like the chess pieces. He sees himself as the king, and Alice as a queen. You're a Rook – the one in the corner that follows the straight line. Carlisle's a knight, and Aurora is a Bishop."
"I guess it's better than being a pawn."
He looks distant. "That's me and Ari. Jasper, and Ciprianna his protege on the council – actually the whole council are his pawns."
"He doesn't really see you that way." I hope not at least.
"I see what he doesn't want me to see." He smirks. "He thinks I'm weak and undisciplined. He hates that I'm his firstborn son, and not Aurora. Don't get involved with him, he'll use you; he uses everybody."
"Have you learned any control of your gift?" I want desperately to change the subject.
"What gift...?" He looks at me blankly. "You mean this mind-reading shit? You're kidding me, right?"
"No. I'm not kidding. Edward had learned to control it to some degree. He could … I don't know... isolate it in his head and tune it out. He said it was like background noise, and he had to tune back in to hear it. He said really loud thoughts got through, but otherwise he could choose when to listen."
"I've tried. I can't shut it out. Usually I just stay home or hang out with a couple friends and get high." He looks at me accusingly. "I know you're judging me. But hybrids metabolize drugs different than humans. Pot works better than coke, and heroine doesn't work at all. Alcohol is the best, but it takes so much to get us drunk."
"Edward played piano." He laughs derisively at that. "He told me it's the sound that helps block out the thoughts, but his own thinking that distracts him from them. It takes so much to play well; hands, feet, and converting the music score to the right keys to touch."
"I listen to music, but it only helps a little."
"Maybe you could try the piano?"
"How old was Edward?" He looks at me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
"He was seventeen when he was changed. But he was born in 1901."
"He was a year older than I am." I don't have to read his mind to know where his train of thought is going.
"Armando, I'm going to stop you right there. I 'm really not interested in dating you."
He looks shocked at the suggestion. "Oh god! I wasn't even thinking about that. You're like thirty, and you've had a baby! You're hot and all, but that's just gross!" He backs away from me, looking truly disgusted.
It's the first time I've ever been lumped in with my own age group, and it catches me off guard. At first I feel embarrassed that I've misread his cues, and then I feel a little self conscious that he doesn't see me as desirable. Finally I just have to laugh at the ridiculous.
"I'm sorry... I just thought you were comparing yourself to Edward because you were interested in me. I'm told I'm a mind reader's dream."
"No. I was just wondering if there was still time to learn those control techniques."
"I could help you, if you like?" I offer. He looks at me warily and I laugh softly. "I promise I'm not interested in you romantically. You're cute, in a scruffy sort of way, but I'm interested in someone else." I can see his relief.
"I think I'd like that." He smiles shyly.
"Do you want to start tomorrow? I'm pretty sure we'll have a council meeting, but I should be free after that. Do me a favor, and stay sober. It'll make it easier to learn." He groans at this, but then nods.
I go to check on Arianna, thinking that as soon as Aro comes back I'll be able to leave. She's reading a book, and you'd never know from looking at her, that she's in the middle of one of the biggest drama's of the city.
As I turn to leave, Aro arrives with his firstborn daughter. He makes the introductions, and I'm surprised that she's so different from his other children. Her ash blond hair must have come from her mother, and her gray eyes meet mine directly. At first she behaves much older than seventeen, and she seems so serious. Her brows draw together and she looks at Aro like she wants to ask him a question. Then her eyes snap back to mine.
"I can't read your mind – and you can't hear my thoughts either! That's so odd. I can usually pick up at least fragments of surface thoughts even when I first meet someone." She stares into my eyes for several breathless seconds, then she smiles. "You really can't hear me either, even if I'm shouting. Amazing."
She looks at Aro for an intense second, and he laughs with delight. "Bella, she wants to know if we can 'keep' you." He puts his arm around her and hugs her to his side. "She's been able to capture so many of my thoughts about how Volterra used to be. She just doesn't have a way to read the age of the memory." He kisses her cheek and explains to her. "I'm sorry, but we no longer keep the most talented vampires with us, my dear."
I think it's pretty telling that she's picked his love of "collecting" talented immortals right from his head, even though the war's been over for two years. But what's bothering me, is the way he treats her, as opposed to the way I've seen him behave toward his other children. No matter what Alice says, Aurora is clearly his favorite. If I can see it in minutes, it saddens me to think about what his other children must feel being faced with it daily.
"Aro, how long have you had your children with you? I mean I know some of the hybrids were sent off to the school for training, but was that true for yours as well?"
"My children were sent to school. But I was able to visit them each day. Aurora's ability made her such a fast learner, she was able to come home much sooner than most. I was fortunate that Aurora and Armando were so talented. They were excluded from the general army training."
"Do you know what was expected of Arianna? Do you know what they thought made her useful?"
"Yes!" He snarls, looking angry.
"Please... don't make him think about that. I can see it …. through him. It's so painful... she's my sister, and they were my friends and classmates too." Aurora has her hand on my arm, and tears in her eyes. On a whim, I wrap my shield around her, and she gasps. Her startled eyes fly from me to Aro and back again. "You're doing this...Papa, she can block me!"
"Does it bother you? I can stop, but you just looked so upset." I don't know how to interpret her shocked look.
"No... it's wonderful." She closes her eyes and leans into me. "It's like being alone in my own head for the first time ever. Oh I hope you fall in love with Papa." With her eyes closed in bliss, she doesn't see his look of embarrassed surprise, and I'm sure she can't hear his thoughts that she shouldn't mention what she must have read from his mind.
Her eyes startle open when he speaks. "Aurora, Bella wanted to go back to her own room." He sounds like he's explaining to a child. The innocent look she turns on him explains perfectly why he thinks of her that way. She really is only nine years old, and he's been her parent and her only teacher for many of those years. I imagine for her to be so well-adjusted when Armando and Arianna are not, she must have been sheltered from much of what happened in Joham's Volterra.
"Don't go... please, will you stay with me?" Her wide gray eyes meet mine with a pleading I'm not used to seeing. "It's so quiet and restful inside your shield. Maybe I could really sleep like this..."
"Bella..." Aro explains. "Aurora hears our thoughts almost all the time.. She's been with us for so long, her mind has become attuned to us, and she hears almost everything we think. And we hear her as well. For my children, trying to sleep is like walking in someone else's dreams and nightmares. When they sleep, I listen to restful music through my headphones, and meditate, since Armando and Aurora can't shut me out. But Aurora projects as well, so her worries and nightmares can disturb them while they're sleeping." I can't imagine how it must feel to have your very thoughts broadcast to others.
"I think I can stay... at least for a little while." I remember how Renee used to sleep in my room when I had nightmares. She would help me fall asleep, staying by my side to reassure me. The least I could do for her was let her fall asleep without someone else's dreams in her head. One night wouldn't kill me.
She still has to eat dinner and prepare for bed. I slip out and go to my room to shower and change. I'm looking for something to read when there's a tap on my door. I find Alice staring up at the peep hole.
In my room she wanders around, touching things and looking like she's trying to avoid saying what she obviously came to say.
"Carlisle left." I gasp at her words, and sit on the bed in shock. "They left two hours ago... they're heading back to Canada."
"They? Did he take Jasper with him?" I can only hope he took him home to keep him safe.
She sits on the bed and takes my hand in hers. "No... Jasper's still missing. He took Colette." The world tilts at a crazy angle. It's the exact same feeling I had when I was human, and I'd take a hard fall. It's the feeling of being upside down and off balance, while everything around me moves in a slow motion conspiracy to hurt me.
"Colette?" I squeak.
"Listen Bella, it's probably not what you think. He said he couldn't tell me what was going on, but he'd call as soon as he could."
"He wanted to talk to me... and I..." I remember the hurt on his face as I turned to leave him standing in the hall. "He took Colette."
"Bella, please don't jump to conclusions." She holds my hand tight so I don't escape her. She looks me in the eyes. "You really do have feelings for him, don't you?" I search her face for the hostility she showed me that morning. It's gone; replaced by the kind of concern I remember of my friend.
"Yes." I can barely speak around the hard lump in my throat.
"Is it serious, then?" She's still open and concerned.
"I think I love him. I mean... I am in love with him. But he doesn't know. All I've done is hurt him, and disappoint him. And now he's gone, and he took Colette and left me behind."
"Shh." She wraps me in her arms and tries to comfort me. But all I can think about is the way Colette told me in no uncertain terms that she was better for Carlisle than I was. Maybe she's right. Maybe he agrees. A tiny part of me whispers that maybe he's taken her back home so they can start their own family. Within months, he could have all of his crazy adopted adult "children" replaced with an equal number of their own biological babies.
"Can you see the future? Alice, is he... going to be hers?"
"I... Bella you know it's not clear..."
"Tell me! I want to know everything you see."
"They're together a lot. I see them working on patients together. They won't be back for at least a couple weeks – maybe more. I see them both happy and celebrating before... before Carlisle comes back to finish up his duties on the council. But Bella, I don't even see them kiss. And you know my visions are about intention. Carlisle is not going to marry that girl, you know he wouldn't..."
"Marry her! You saw a wedding, Alice?" She doesn't answer, but her look tells the truth. "I need... I need to go back. He needs to know how I feel. I can't go through one more loss!" I try to stand, and she pulls me back down.
"You can't go now, Bella." She looks at me with an intensity in her eyes that chills me. "If you leave now, Jasper dies." I can't believe what she's saying. "I hope my vision is wrong, but I saw it as clear as I'm looking at you now. If you leave now, you and Carlisle will marry, the week before I lose Jasper forever. It's Aro..." She can't even finish the sentence. It reminds me of the deal he tried to make with me.
"Alice... I know you've seen visions of you and Aro being mates. Do you ever see me with him?"
"Sometimes." She laughs bitterly. "I've seen you mated to Aro, and I've seen you married to Carlisle, and I've seen you alone as well. Your future is still fluid... as is mine. But if you leave here now, Aro will kill Jasper – so he can have me."
"I'm supposed to distract Aro from pursuing you and Jasper, is that right?" I feel cold dread at the thought that she could have seen his plan so clearly.
"I don't know what he wants with you, Bella. I just know what happens if you go. Please don't go! I can't lose Jasper... I love him more than my own life. You have a positive influence on Aro, and Jasper is safe with you in Volterra – that's all I know. Please... if I have to beg, I'll grovel on the floor right now... don't leave, Bella!"
"Okay." She wraps me in her arms so tight I can't even move.
"Thank you! I'll help you any way I can with Carlisle. I owe you a big one." I can see her shaking, and I realize how afraid she was that I would abandon her.
"Are you going someplace?" She notices that I've showered and changed. I feel unreasonably guilty as I admit I was going to Aro's apartment to sit with his children.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I can tell she's only offering because I agreed to stay.
"No. If Aro touches you he'll learn of our plans. His children can read you as well, so it's better if you stay clear." She kisses my cheek.
"Thank you so much. I don't know how, but I will make this up to you. I promise." She leaves me to get ready to spend the night in the lion's den. I tiptoe across and down the hallway, and he opens the door before I even knock.
"How is Alice?" His question catches me off guard. "Don't look so surprised. I may not be able to read you, but I can smell her on your clothes."
"She's fine. Just to keep things honest between us, she hopes that I'll be able to distract you from pursuing her husband – the man she loves."
His eyes narrow angrily, but then he laughs. "So it's honesty you want? Then perhaps you should come in and begin distracting me. I do believe I could find her immortal beloved, should I put my mind to it." He steps aside and ushers me into the apartment. Armando comes to the doorway of his room and scowls at his father. "Come along, Armando."
A/N: Ah, Aro is so deliciously wicked! This story is still pulling me along, and I'm three chapters ahead - a record for me. Please know I appreciate those of you who are reading and reviewing.
I wanted to let any budding writers know, that next month (November as I write this) is National Novel Writer's Month - NaNoWriMo. This is a contest against yourself, where you try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. The NaNoWriMo (dot) org. site lets you connect with others on your journey, and offers you encouragement as you go. This is a great chance for you to write that novel you've been thinking about. No one will criticize you, and it doesn't matter how bad or good it is, just that you get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. Winners get to display the banner, and tell everyone they've written a novel.