Chapter 24
Death of Dora
I meet Alice's eyes over her shoulder and she just shakes her head as Yanna trembles and clings to me. It's a long while before she pulls herself together. When she's calmer, our eyes meet. I don't look away, and for long moments we stare at one another, open and vulnerable. I can feel our wordless connection, just as I did when I first gazed at Renesmee. She hugs me tight again, and I feel her warm cheek against mine.
She sits up on the edge of the bed beside me, and straightens her clothes, looking shyly at us. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a burden. I want to help. I want to make Volterra great again." She smiles sadly. "But it's going to have to change. Your family has brought that change, and Aro is too foolish to recognize what's needed." We all nod in agreement.
"Oh, I almost forgot to give you this." Alice hands me a folder. "It's that stuff you printed out on the computer yesterday." She sits in the chair near us.
I glance at the papers. I'm not sure she's ready for it, but I'm not going to hide the truth from her.
"Yanna, I have some information on your birth family, if you want to see it." Her eyes meet mine, and I smile, knowing right where her mind has gone. "No, I'm not trying to get rid of you." I put my arm around her reassuringly. "This is your birth mother. She looks a lot like you." I hand her the photo of the smiling blond. Her hands tremble as she looks at the face. "Your mother had two older brothers and a little sister, which means you have uncles and an aunt. You've got grandparents, and cousins too. They never stopped looking for her. It's probably too soon, but in a few years, you'll be able to meet them and tell them you're her daughter. I'm sure we could put our heads together and come up with an acceptable story about what happened and how she died. I think they deserve to know."
She looks at all the photos as tears stream down her face. "I knew she died," she whispers. "I didn't want to believe it, so I created a fantasy where she just cut me loose and left. It's the only way I could love my mama and papa." Her voice hitches. "I just didn't expect she was so young and pretty. She wasn't some homeless drug addict... she had a life, and a family. It's not fair."
I squeeze her shoulders. "I know it's not fair. Nothing about what happened here in the past twelve years was fair. You know, my own mother used to tell me that life isn't fair, so we have to take whatever blessings we have and make the most of them."
She looks at the pages in her hands. "This has been a real gift. I'm glad I finally know the truth." I look at the few print outs, and an idea hits me.
"Alice, I need to get a computer and printer, with secure internet access – one that I can use for a little project." They're both looking at me, as I see a whole enterprise taking shape in my mind. "I need a list of all the vampires who are here, and lived through the war. I also need a list of the hybrids, and who fathered them." I look at them both excitedly.
"I want to start a database for the hybrids. I need to talk to everyone who lived here the last ten to twelve years, and see what they can remember about the human mothers. Vampires don't forget – we should be able to learn a lot, just by talking to them. I want to do something like Spielberg's Shoah Foundation, where Holocaust survivors told their stories, so they weren't lost. Only I want to do it for the hybrids." I can barely contain my excitement.
"I want to see what we can do to connect them with their history, and their extended families. Even if their mothers were prostitutes and drug addicts, they were someone's child once, and these kids deserve to know. When I was looking through the missing person's reports, I was shocked at how many there were. I'm sure some wound up as food, but some could have left children behind."
"I can get you the computer... but I don't know how to make them talk to you."
"I can help with that." Yanna smiles wickedly.
""No, I don't need puppets."
"I wasn't talking about compelling them. I was talking about the old Volturi law; specifically, chapter fifty-two, article five-b, subsection c." At our blank looks she giggles. "There are only fifty chapters of law, but most haven't read it, and are as intimidated by it as Americans are by the Internal Revenue Service." She shrugs. "I think a lot of people would want to help, but they don't want to be seen as helpful. Everything within these walls is political, and appearances are important. They won't help you voluntarily, but you can give them a plausible excuse, and they'll cooperate fully. "
"I'm glad she's on our side." Alice marvels appreciatively. "Since I don't have much to do before the meeting, I'll go and get that computer for you. How about we set it up in it's own room, so we can eventually make it a place where the hybrids can look up things, and the rest of us can add in our notes."
"That's all well and good, but maybe it would be better as it's own website." Again Yanna suggests a better and simpler way to do things.
"Will you help us?" I ask her because I want a fresh way of looking at things, but I also want her involvement.
"Sure, if you think I can help." She looks suddenly unsure, and I roll my eyes. For someone so bright and beautiful, she has a terrible opinion of herself. I remember how it took me many years of Edward's loving affirmation, before I felt comfortable in my own skin. I can't imagine how much harder it is for her, since she's had so much trauma in her young life.
It doesn't take long for Alice to come up with a computer, and we get to work on the website. Yanna is great with the technology, and in a few hours we've got it set up, and it's ready to receive information. I take her to the cafe for breakfast, and I don't have to force her to eat.
As she's finishing up, I feel as if we're being watched. I turn to see Arianna and Armando staring at us. Without warning, I get up and go to them, leaving Yanna to watch in horror as I sit down at their table.
"Good morning. Are you two okay after what happened?" Arianna looks from me to Yanna and back again. I see Armando take her hand, as he's obviously read her mind.
"How can you sit with her like nothing happened?" Arianna clearly looks shaken. Do you know what she did?" Her big brown eyes shimmer with tears.
"I know she made mistakes. And I know she's very sorry for what happened." I try to explain.
"She's not sorry enough!" She snarls, as her lovely face twists in rage. "She... she helped him!" Armando looks just as angry, as he's getting her thoughts second-hand. I shield her mind.
"She helped him because she had no choice. He was going to make her watch her father murder her mother, if she didn't do what he wanted."
"At least she had a mother – I had no one!" She stands, and her chair tips and falls noisily against the marble floor. She's on the verge of hysterics. "She... They... He did things to me... horrible things... and she watched! I begged her to stop him, and she... she turned away and let him use me!" She's shaking, and tears smear her face.
"Arianna, please..." I try to put my arms around her, but she backs away from me, and the chair legs try to trip her up.
"No! You saved her, when you should have let her die!" She looks past me to the tiny blond watching in stunned silence. Arianna's face becomes a mask of angry determination. She quickly strides past me, and before I realize what she has in mind, she charges Yanna. She leaps like a lioness, and knocks her to the floor, and fastens her hands around her throat.
"Die you treacherous bitch!" She slams Yanna's head hard against the floor, before I can take hold of her and haul her kicking and screaming off of her. She's still putting up a fight, when I yell for Armando's help.
"Come on Armando, give me a hand here!" His sister is fighting for all she's worth to be free, and I can't get to Yanna, who's still on the floor. He doesn't take Arianna off my hands like I expect, but instead checks Yanna.
"She's bleeding... oh my god, there's a lot of blood here. What the hell did you do, Ari?" I release her as the fight goes out of her, and rush to Yanna. She's staring blankly, then her eyes roll back and fall closed. I'm afraid she's suffered a head injury, along with the wounds on her neck being reopened.
"No, no, no... this can't be happening. Yanna, come on baby, look at me!" Once again I find myself rushing her back to the clinic, though this time I don't wait for help. I'm surprised to find Armando at my side, as I carry her. I barely have time to notice he's helping to clear the way for me.
The doctor at the clinic looks at me with accusing eyes. I don't even care, I just want him to take care of her. Actually, what I really want, is for Carlisle to be there and take care of her. The doctor tries to make me leave the room, but I refuse. It's Armando who pulls me away from her so they can work on her.
In the familiar chairs in the hallway, I can't stop remembering the attack and the sound of her head hitting the stone. I promised her I wouldn't let anyone hurt her again, and I failed her.
It feels strange to feel his arm around my shoulders. He smells like cigarettes, but he's warm, and he's obviously making an effort to comfort me. "Ari didn't mean to hurt her so bad. She wanted to fight with her, not kill her."
"I know. Maybe you should go back to your sister." I just don't have it in me to feel sympathy for her right now.
"I've been reading Ari's mind for a while. I know what was done to her – I can't block her thoughts. But when you shielded her mind, I took a look at Dora's mind. She makes Ari's memories pale in comparison. She was with him for years! He was an evil fucktard! He beat her, and raped her, and got off on shredding her dignity. Ari was just another kick in the teeth for her." He looks at me with sad eyes.
"When my sister attacked her, she could have stopped her. You weren't shielding her, and she could have used her power on any of us. But she didn't. She knew Ari was going to hurt her, and she let it happen. She doesn't want to die anymore, but she feels she deserves to die, if it will bring Ari some peace." He's quiet for a long moment. "Ari really hurt her... I could hear it in my head."
I don't have it in me to answer him, and we sit in uncomfortable silence.
The doctor comes out and stands over us. His face is somber, and he looks at me for a long moment before speaking. "We've done all we can for her, and I don't think it's going to be enough." He shakes his head sadly. "I don't understand, hybrids are supposed to be much more resilient than she seems to be. She's in a coma, and there's bleeding in her brain. If the swelling gets any worse, she'll need an operation to relieve the pressure. It just doesn't make sense! It's like her human side is asserting itself. It's been my experience that hybrids could easily shake off this kind of injury."
"What about all of her earlier injuries? Maybe she wasn't fully recovered, and that's having an effect on her now." I feel horrible guilt at taking her home before her release.
"It's possible. But even those earlier injuries were out of line with what is typical for hybrids."
"So she's been hurt a lot worse than we thought?" I can't quite understand what he's trying to say.
"That's what I'm trying to tell you. From what you've told me happened to her, she shouldn't be here! Hybrids are practically vampire tough. The damage from your counter attack, and the guard's rough treatment shouldn't have been noticeable. The razor cuts to her neck should have begun to heal even before we got her to the clinic, and now, the hit on the back of the head... maybe she would have had a headache. There's something happening with this girl that just isn't right."
"What if she needs the surgery?" I look at the young Italian, and wish I could feel more confidence in him.
He sighs. "I"m not a brain surgeon. There's no one in Volterra who's qualified to operate on her."
"I could take her someplace else... a hospital in a bigger city..."
He looks nervous. "The law forbids..." His voice wavers as I glare at him. I hear his human heart pounding in his chest.
"I'm not just going to stand around while she dies! Her father's the one who wrote the laws, I'm sure he wouldn't allow his only child to die because of them! I need a loophole..."
"You need Doctor Cullen." He voices the one thing I've been trying not to say.
"I know! But right now, he's in Canada, and we're here." I look at his alarmed face. "Do what you can for her. But I also want you to look up the best brain surgeon in the area. I want their name and address, as well as two alternatives." He looks at me like I'm the one with the brain injury, then hurries off to do what I've told him to do.
I remember Armando is still there, and he's staring at me as if in awe. "You really want to save her?"
"Of course I want to save her, I care about her." I say the words, hearing their hollowness. I don't just care about her, I love her. She's mine, even though I didn't give birth to her or raise her.
I don't expect him to speak, but his words hold my attention. "There's something wrong with her... Ari knew, but I think she buried it. She bleeds more than normal. Joham almost killed her when he fed from her and tried to change her. He did the exact same thing to Ari, and she didn't have any problem, but Dora almost died. She bruises easily too; well, easily for a hybrid that is. His beatings would leave horrible marks on her."
It all clicks. "Oh my god! I didn't even think it mattered..." I remembered the information I'd found on her birth mother and family. Yanna's mother's sister had died from complications from a blood disorder. I rushed into the room, startling the doctor.
"She may have von Willebrand disease!" He looks confused. "Look it up, it's a genetic bleeding disorder first discovered in Sweden and Finland. Her great aunt died with it. I know hybrids are supposed to be better than human, and vampire tough, but they also have traits of both parents. If her mother Yanna had it, she could have passed it to her daughter!" He was already scrambling, using his computer to search for medical information on the disorder.
"It does fit, but there are a lot of tests that need to be done to prove it, and to figure outhow serious it is. There are some drugs and treatments that may help... I'll order them, but she still may need surgery." He doesn't look my way; completely absorbed by his medical database.
I sit down beside her and take her hand. He's got an I.V. in her arm, once again giving her blood.
"Would a feeding tube work?" My words startle him away from his search. "I mean if they recover better by ingesting the blood... couldn't you put it right into her stomach?"
"It might... that just might work!" He begins going through the cupboards, obviously looking for the supplies.
"How can I help, what would it look like?" He describes the kit he's searching for, and I help him out. I wonder where his assistants are, but considering how they treated her last time she was here, I don't miss them. I try to imagine where Carlisle would have stored feeding tubes... and find it near the case of dietary supplement in a lower cabinet. "Is this it?"
"Yes!" He washes his hands and puts on clean gloves, and then looks at me. "I could use your help." He explains how the tube will go through her nose, down her esophagus, and into her stomach. I watch as he sterilizes everything, and slowly inserts the tube and tapes it to her nose.. He seems capable as he attaches a pouch of blood to the tube, and we both watch as the red fluid snakes through the tube and disappears through her nose.
I hope for a miracle that doesn't come. I sit down and just watch and wait. Armando comes in and lets me know he's leaving, and I nod as he pats my shoulder. I hold her hand and talk to her.
When Alice shows up she's already heard all about it. She thankfully brings me a change of clothes, and waits while I change into the new outfit – it's nice that she's coming back to her old self. She actually has some good news about the council meeting, which is a welcome distraction. It seems that since I've been so busy, they were able to have Nahuel attend the meeting remotely.
"It's just like what we hope to accomplish! Some day we'll be able to have everyone linked together, so we won't even have to be in the same country. We won't be tied to Volterra, and we can finally live our lives!"
"Alice?" An idea has been bothering me since I watched all of her stress in arranging the meetings. "Why is there only one alternate? I mean, shouldn't each seat have an alternate, ready to step in when the member can't do it, for whatever reason? And also, why isn't there a schedule for meetings, or at least someone else in charge of arranging them? It would have made these past few days a lot easier if those two things were different."
"Those are valid points. I'll bring them up at the next meeting." She loses her serious look then, and hugs me.
We both stare at my girl for about twenty minutes of silence. I turn to her, afraid to ask. "Can you sense her future?"
She looks at me with a frown. "It's still not clear. It's all about decisions, remember? You're doing good Bella." She was quiet a moment longer. "Have you decided what you want to do about Arianna? There were plenty of witnesses, and if you want her arrested, you're within your rights... since Yannadora is technically your property."
I groan. "It's got to stop, Alice. How can I hold it against Arianna when she's been through so much herself? I'm sick to death of the law, and trying to find loopholes to save a girl's life. I'm tired of everyone playing by all the old rules and trying so hard to gain a little power and a little favor, rather than just just trying to do what's right for a change!"
"I couldn't have said it better myself." We're both startled to see Aro step into the room. The doctor steps out, looking nervous, and Aro saunters over to the other side of her bed. He glances up at the pouch of blood draining into her nose. "Interesting."
"Why are you here, Aro?" My voice sounds tired. Alice reaches out and takes my hand. I'm not sure if it's to comfort her or me, but I clutch it gratefully.
"I have a proposal for you. I don't want my daughter to have to face charges for this attack. If you're willing to let this matter drop, then I'm willing to stop hunting for Jasper, and I won't seek any judgment against him. I just want him gone... from Volterra... from Italy... from my eternal sight!" He snarls this last bit.
"Aren't you ready to admit that you're taking out your anger at Joham on Jasper?" I try to keep my voice down.
"I am entitled to be angry with the captain! I am entitled to see his dead eyes staring from the flames! He used my daughter against me!" He makes a visible effort to calm himself. "Do you accept my terms?"
I look at my girl, lying still and unconscious. I still don't know if she's going to live or die. "Look at her, Aro." He reluctantly looks down at the tiny blond. "Her brain is bleeding. Arianna did this to her." I meet his eyes. "I'm entitled to be angry, and I'm entitled to see Arianna's 'dead eyes staring from the flames.' But what does that gain any of us? We're all entitled to our pound of flesh from Joham, but that's not going to happen."
I let go of Alice's hand as I stand. "I haven't even been here a week, and already I'm weary of the fighting. We're wearing ourselves out trying to fix all the problems here. It can't continue like this, or it's all going to fall apart." I meet his eyes. "Volterra needs to start healing, Aro. You need to lead them there... they look up to you."
He looks suddenly angry and belligerent. "They look up to Carlisle!" The venomous way he says his name shocks me. "I have made you my offer in good faith. What say you?"
I sigh and sit back down. I rest my head in my hand for a moment, then look at his angry face. "If they look up to Carlisle, it's because he's leading them in the direction they want to go. He's leading them toward peace and reconciliation. You're fighting to hold on to a Volterra Joham already fed to the flames." I shake my head sadly.
I look down at the girl in the bed. "Look at her... isn't she pretty... just like a broken china doll." I meet his eyes, feeling a sudden resolve. "Dora of Volterra is dead." I make the pronouncement with the weight of the law on my side. "This is Yanna Dora Cullen... my daughter." I hear Alice's small gasp. "Whether my daughter lives or dies, I have no intention of seeking to blame or punish Arianna. These girls have suffered enough."
Alice takes my hand again, and Aro heads for the door. I stop him with my words. "I have no control over Jasper. I don't know where he is, and it's not up to me to make any deals on his behalf. But maybe you should think long and hard, before you put Volterra through one more conflict." He leaves without a word.
Alice hugs me once we're alone. "Your daughter? Bella are you sure that's what you want?"
"She suffered everything he would have done to Renesmee... she needs me." That's not all there is to it, but it's all I want to explain to Alice right now." She stays with me a couple hours as we talk about how best to implement some of my suggestions. Then she needs to go take care of more council business.
As the hours pass, there's no change in Yanna's condition. Her brain is dangerously swollen, and though the bleeding has slowed, it still hasn't stopped. The doctor continues to fret over what he should do. I hold her hand and talk to her. The drugs for her bleeding condition arrive, and the doctor begins to add them to her I.V., which is no longer a blood transfusion.
I'm still keeping my vigil in the small hours of the morning, when the doctor has gone to his apartment to sleep. He's found a nurse to keep watch with me, but the man is more interested in his book, than guarding his patient. I feel so alone, and I take out my phone and dial the first number. I want to hear his voice – need to hear his voice. But the call clicks over to voice mail and his recorded words gently tell me to leave my name, number, and a short message. I wonder if he's hunting or on one of his nature walks. I wonder if he's with a patient. And there's a small, insecure part of me that wonders if he's with Colette. I banish the image from my mind. He promised he wouldn't do that to me, and I have to believe him.
I miss him.
As I think about him, it comes as a shock how quickly I've come to feel this way about him. He's not Edward. "Edward is dead." I whisper the words in the quiet room. I wait for the grief to shred through me. Instead there's just a deep sadness at the truth. "I love you Edward. But you're dead, and you're never coming back, and I need to go on without you."
The nurse attendant glances over at me and gives a perfunctory smile. He may have thought he heard something. I feel like I've finally let go of the all the possibility we should have had. It's never going to happen, because my husband Edward is dead. There's no amount of grief that can change that fact. I smile to myself as I feel the doors of my heart have been opened. I've got room in my life now for such romantic sentiments.
I've got room in my life now for Carlisle. That's what it's about, not my heart, but my life! Edward is forever in my heart, but Carlisle is in my heart and my life. I think that's what he's been trying to tell me all along. I have a life to live, and he wants to share it. I want that now, more than anything.
"Yanna honey, you've got to get better sweetheart. We've got a lot of living ahead of us." It seems strange that she looks perfectly normal while so much is wrong. She has a bandage on the back of her head, but except for the feeding tube, she just looks like she's sleeping. I'm grateful she's breathing on her own, but it bothers me that her heart is beating so slowly.
It's just a little after five A. M. when everything seems to go crazy. Three men in white coats step into the room and they begin to work with her. One checks her chart, one gathers up the medications on the bedside table, and one begins to shut down the feeding tube.
"What's going on? What are you doing?" They're all human, but they don't seem to take any special notice of me. The one with the chart glances at me and answers.
"We're getting ready to move her."
"Move her? What do you mean... where do you think you're taking her?" I feel like an overprotective mother – an overprotective mother bear! I'm about ready to attack them for what they're doing.
"It's her doctor's orders. We're taking her to ospidale. There's an ambulance waiting." The other two transfer her easily from the bed, onto a rolling gurney, and they're moving her from the room. "Please Miss, we don't have time to waste." He turns to follow them. I trail along behind them helplessly as they race her to the elevator. I don't understand what motivated the doctor to change his mind, but I'm not letting them take her without me.
There's not enough room in the elevator for me, unless I want to stand too close to one of the human men. I race for the stairs and easily beat the elevator to the first floor. When the doors open, they wheel her into the quiet lobby. I'm trying to look for her doctor, but there's no sign of the young Italian.
I look out the door and see the ambulance parked outside. Alice comes through the door, and I feel a moment of reassurance as the men wheel Yanna past her and toward the doors. Then I catch my breath and stare. The doors open, and he comes striding through, freezing me.
Carlisle is here!
He stops the gurney before it passes him, and gives a cursory look at his patient. Then he looks my way and smiles. I fly across the lobby and fling myself into his arms. I want to cover him in kisses, and cling to him, but he's trying to hold me at arms length. I feel his kiss on my cheek before he whispers in my ear. "Not now love, let's take care of our girl first."
Our girl? My eyes follow Yanna as they wheel her through the doors. I meet his eyes and a thousand questions are answered in his gaze. His hands cradle my face and he kisses me softly.
"Let's go, I've got an operating room reserved for six." He takes my hand and leads me through the doors. I try to follow the gurney to the ambulance, but he pulls me toward the car parked behind it. "They know what they're doing, Bella. I told them not to disturb her with tests or monitors. If she wakes up they'll let me know." He helps me into the passenger seat of the black sedan, and we follow the ambulance as it pulls away.
"How did you get here so fast?" I can't take my eyes off of him.
"After I talked to you last, I wrapped up everything I could. I had scheduled a flight out for the next day. But Alice called and told me you were going to need me. She already had the jet waiting for me."
"She didn't tell me! Why does she keep so many secrets from me?" I feel the bite of anger towards her. She sat with me last night as I worried, knowing he was on his way. She had to have sent for him even before Yanna got hurt.
"She was afraid to scare you." He reaches for my hand. "At first she thought I was coming back for Dora's funeral. She didn't want you to know. But you figured out what might be wrong with her, and I think I can save her... if we're not too late." I feel cold dread squeezing my chest. "Just stay calm darling, I'm here."
"I missed you so much," I whisper, and he kisses my fingers.
"I missed you too, love." I can detect the faintest of British accents when he says the words.
I want to ask him dozens of questions, but it just doesn't seem right. He's here, and that's all that matters.
A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter. I've been so busy I haven't had time to respond as you deserve.