Spike's Journal Entry 9

I'm going to ask Twilight today. I wanted to for a while now, but I'm just scared. She still thinks I'm a baby, and I am, but I can take care of myself too. And I'll be back; I'm still her number one assistant. So if she's scared that she'll lose me, she doesn't have to worry. I just have too many questions that I cannot answer, and I know that somewhere out there, someone know who I am, and where my parents are. But before I can do anything, I need to ask Twilight to let me go, and I have a feeling that I know what she'll say to me.

"NO!"

"But Twi-"

"No 'but's', it's still a no!"

"But I need to, I have to know—"

"You have to know? Here's what I know; you're a baby dragon that wants to go off ALONE to Celestia knows where to find dragons that are probably not friendly! I know you mean well, but I can't let you go out there and get hurt or worse!"

Spike and Twilight had been at it for only a few minutes, but the way that they yelled at each other, Spike felt like days had passed. He didn't enjoy this argument, but he had to go, and he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with his sister-of-a-pony when she was like this.

"Fine!" roared Spike, admitting defeat. "I won't go. I'll just stay here."

He spent the rest of the day in his bed, but didn't go to sleep at all.

…

As Spike began his slow march upstairs, Twilight eyes began to roam the library, not looking for anything in particular. A thought crossed her mind; this was the first real fight the two had. This must have been really important to Spike, she added subconsciously, and she could tell that by the look in the little dragon's eyes.

But Twilight couldn't let her little brother just go out there, even if the cause was just. Out there he could be hurt, or killed, or any number of horrible things, and Twilight could never forgive herself if she indirectly caused harm to be brought upon Spike. And what if he did find what he was looking for? What if once he found his dragon family, he suddenly decided that he no longer needed her? She'd be all alone, and once of her closest friends would have broken her heart. Contemplating all the 'what-ifs' was too much for Twilight, so she forced herself to stop thinking about them.

Finally, she said out loud to herself, "I can't let him go. I just can't. It's as simple as that."

A voice chimed up in the conflicted mare's mind, screaming "Yes, you can, and you have to!"

"But he's too small. It's dangerous for him out there."

"Then go with him. You can help him and protect him, and he will still be able to find what he needs to find."

"But what if he doesn't want to come back?"

"Look: what if YOU never met your parents? Wouldn't you need to find answers? Wouldn't you want to find them? Would you let anypony stop you?"

Twilight didn't want to admit it, but the voice in her head was a lot more persuasive than Spike. "No, I wouldn't…"

Her inner voice continued "Spike WILL go out there to find answers. You can either oppose him at every possible chance and drive him away, or you can support his wishes and help him in every way you can."

Now Twilight was more confused than ever. All she knew for certain was if she went with him, she couldn't help Spike alone by herself; she needed help. But who could she turn to?

…

There was a knocking at the door. Fluttershy looked up from preparing the afternoon meals for the animals.

"Oh… somepony's at the door. I wonder who it could be."

Fluttershy approached the door cautiously. She didn't have too many visitors aside from the occasional pony asking for advice on animals or coming in with a sick pet in need of some care.

"Hello?" she asked in her soft voice.

"Hey Fluttershy, it's me. Can I come in?" Fluttershy would have recognized that pony's voice anywhere. "Oh, it's you Twilight! Please come on in." The yellow and pink pony quickly opened the door for her lavender friend. "And I'm sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting any visitors."

"Don't worry, my library's always a mess, I'm sure it will be… fine?" Twilight looked around the small cottage filled with animals and saw no mess whatsoever. The bookshelf on the back was as pristine as ever, the floor looked like it had been swept only a few minutes ago, The carpet under the small sofa has free from any kind of stain, and the sofa itself looked untouched by hooves, with only two perfectly white pillows adorning either side of it. As far as twilight could tell, Fluttershy could have cleaned the entire house only a minute ago. It was always like Fluttershy to apologize, even if there was nothing there to apologize for. Twilight let out a quiet chuckle. That was the first time today that Twilight laughed today, even if it was so quiet even the animals around her couldn't hear it.

As the studious pony thought about how peculiar her friend could be at times, she noticed the sound of plates and cups clanking in the kitchen. No sooner had she noticed the noise than her friend came out holding a tray of tea and vegetables.

"I'm feeding the bunnies now… oh, and I made some tea for you" Fluttershy explained.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble. I just need your help with something." Twilight hesitated before continuing with her request.

"Oh, anything for you Twilight. That's what friends are for… unless it's another dragon" she added as a last thought. Fluttershy was still shaken up from the last time she had to take care of a dragon, and even though she could overcome her fear if she had to, she would rather just avoid those scaly beasts.

"Actually, that's kind of why I'm here… specifically, it's Spike." Fluttershy could tell that something about bringing up Spike was painful for Twilight.

"Oh no… is he okay? Is he sick? Did he eat too many gems?" She hoped that Spike was okay, but she knew if the topic made Twilight this unhappy, the answer would not be a pleasant one.

The room was quiet for a time while Twilight gathered her words. The only noise heard in the room the quiet chewing of the eavesdropping rabbits behind the couch the ponies were sitting on.

Twilight wasn't sure how to answer, because part of her still didn't know what to make of the situation. Spike had been living with her for as long as he had been alive, and as far as she knew, he was happy. The two had a wonderful relationship, and told each other everything. There was trust, friendship, and love, and now? Spike was beginning to think that it wasn't real, that he belonged elsewhere. Even though she was willing to help Spike, she could not shake the thought that her little brother would abandon her. Twilight was scared above all else. What if he left and never came back? What if he was hurt, and it would be on Twilight's hooves because she allowed him to go out there… she had half a mind of just getting up, walking out, apologizing for having disrupted Fluttershy, and leaving it at that, but then Spike's face came to her mind… the look he gave her when he screamed out at her… just tore her heart in half. He stayed in the bedroom all day after their argument, and for the following morning. They haven't spoken after the previous afternoon, and no amount of reading or magic could help Twilight understand what to do. She had to be strong. She had to do this.

"Spike… he… wants to leave…" It took every ounce of strength for the mare to utter these words while holding back tears.

"Leave? Why would he want to do that? I thought he liked it here." Confusion crept up in the quiet pony's voice, as she didn't know what to make of the situation.

"Spike feels like he doesn't belong here, he says he needs to find his roots, but he wants to go out there, and it's dangerous and I told him that but he doesn't see what I see and I don't know what to do because he isn't talking to me and I want to help him but I can't… I just… can't." Twilight's tears were now steady streams of salty water pouring from her eyes. She made no attempt to hide the fact anymore.

The quiet returned. Even the rabbits were hushed by the obvious pain of the unicorn sitting on the couch. Fluttershy finally broke the silence with a small cough. She knew there was a time to be sensitive and a time to be direct, and this was one of those times to be strong for her friend.

"Twilight, you love Spike, right?" Her voice was a little stronger than usual, and a surprised look crept up on the Twilight's face.

"Yes! Of course I do!"

"And he really wants to go out there."

"I don't think I could stop him if I tried."

"Then… I think you should let him go."

"WHAT?" Twilight didn't like the answer she received, even though she half expected that answer.

"I can tell you are sad. And I understand why you are worried for your little Spike. But he isn't a baby anymore Twilight. He is growing, and he needs to discover who he is on his own." Fluttershy could tell this wasn't the exact answer Twilight was hoping for, so she added an "I'm sorry."

Twilight sniffled. "Do you really think that it's safe? I mean, for him to just go off like this?"

Now it was Fluttershy's turn to hesitate. "No. It is dangerous out there. No matter how prepared you are, there's always a risk when you leave the safety of Equestria alone."

"So what can we do?"

"We can make sure he is prepared as best as possible."

…..

Spike's Journal Entry 11

Twilight agreed to let me go on two conditions; I plan out my trip before I can go, and that she, Fluttershy, and Apple Jack come with me. Both Fluttershy and Apple Jack know the land of Equestria well and are willing to come with me as far as they can go. We all looked at a map, and determined that the quickest way to get to the Dragon Mountains is to take a train ride to Manehatten, then walk north through the Isthmus of Smoke, across the Gorge Canyon, and then after crossing the Equestrian border, reach dragon's territory. We plan on stopping at one of AJ's family's orchards to get more food after crossing the Isthmus of Smoke. Finally I can find some answers, and everything will be just fine again. Tomorrow, we will go see the Princess for some help with what Twilight calls 'dip-pole-magic'. Something about the dragons being mad at the ponies. Hopefully Princess Celestia can help.

….

"…and he wants to go find his parents, but it's dangerous in the dragon's territory, and all diplomatic advances between us and the dragons have stopped because of recent insurrection. Can you help us in any way, Princess?" Twilight looked up at the majestic alicorn as she sat contemplating her faithful student and her proposal.

"I'm sorry Twilight, there is nothing that I can do to make the dragons accept your small caravan into their land while we are in a political standstill like this. It's much too dangerous for anypony to cross the border." Celestia tried to hide the apprehension in her voice. One of the advantages of having lived for 1000 years is that you learn how to hide your emotions well. She was worried, at least more worried than she let on.

But she wasn't surprised. There was a risk to raising any dragon outside of their land. A dragon was an interesting creature that had a strong pull to having family, but a horrible cycle of abandoning eggs and newly hatched dragons had mysteriously thrived in their culture for millennia. A dragon that feels like they are alone, or that they have no family, begins to grow cold, which is why they gave in easily to greed and hatrid. The past generation would pass these feelings of hate to the next generation through abandoning their young.

This is why Celestia tried to collect the eggs when they were abandoned. She believed that if she could provide a home for the young dragons, they would learn love, tolerance, and live in harmony with the ponies. But the day always came when a dragon that lived with ponies began to feel out of place. In their own ways, they would find their place in the world, and most close to visit their native land. But Spike?

This brought Princess Celestia back to the problem currently at hand.

She knew that every dragon that was born in Equestria eventually developed the same longings that Spike has, but she never expected a dragon like Spike, both at his young age and with such loving friends, to want to risk his life to find his parents. This being said, a thousand years of seeing dragons needing to find out who they are outside of ponies taught her to be prepared for when it happened; this was not something new to the princess.

Twilight hung her head. "Thank you for your time Princess, i'll be sure to tell Spike your—"

"Now wait a moment, Twilight. I said it was too dangerous for anyPONY to cross the border into dragon territory. I never said anything about anyDRAGON. Even for a dragon like Spike, who knows no greed or hate, he is still a dragon, and they will accept him more readily than a pony."

Twilight's heart skipped a beat. "You mean you would send Spike out there ALONE? Without anypony with him?"

Celestia smiled. "Don't worry, my faithful pupil. You and your friends can accompany him as far as the border of Equestria extends. And I have a certain… friend… who can help Spike the rest of the way. He can be trusted completely, don't worry" added Celestia, seeing that Twilight did not like the idea of Spike being trusted with somepony she never met "I have complete faith in him, though his methods are a little unorthodox."

Twilight still didn't like the idea, but had little choice. From what the Princess told her before, it would not be a wise idea to not let Spike go, or else he may grow cold towards the friends he had here. Celestia explained that the last time a pony did not allow a baby dragon to find his roots for himself, he began to feel hate, which continued to build until he want on a rampage through the city he lived in, destroying most of the buildings and injuring many ponies. Ponies recorded this as an earthquake- The Great Earthquake of San Flankcisco.

"Let me send out a pegasus carrier to our little friend out there" the princess explained the final preparations for her most faithful pupil. "He lives in the Isthmus of Smoke, so you should meet up with him there. Just wait a few days before you leave. That way he has enough time to prepare himself. And Twilight?"

"Yes, Princess Celestia?"

"Don't be too worried. Everything will work out. And if you're lucky, you may be able to learn something about friendship from this trip!" the calm alicorn commented with a smile.

….

Spike's Journal Entry 14

Well, the day is nearly here. We have everything we need for the trip packed, and everyone knows the details of the trip. After triple checking out lists of things we needed to pack, Twi pulled me aside. I can tell that she's more scared than me. She keeps reminding me about how dangerous it is out there, and I'm already scared as it is, but she seems to be worried about something else. She just told me that I have friends here and if I didn't want to go, no one would be mad if I cancelled the entire thing. But I have to go. She knows this. My mom and dad are out there, and I can find them. Our first stop tomorrow is the city of Manehatten. We will stay there for 2 days, and by then our friend should be ready to meet us. With Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy with me, what could go wrong?