Chapter 33
Reconnection
The four of us sit in uneasy silence for a few moments, and Felicia breaks the ice.
"What do you have to eat around here?" She wanders into Nahuel's kitchen and prowls through the empty cupboards, before she finds Yanna's meager food stash in the refrigerator. I'm surprised when she digs out a skillet and prepares to grill her own steak.
"Let me do that for you." I move her away from the stove and she scowls at me.
"I can cook for myself bit... Bella!"
"I'm sure you can. But I don't have another chair for you to stand on, and quite honestly, I don't want to take another hybrid to the clinic. How do you like your steak? I'm guessing rare."
"You know it!" She actually smiles. "I've never seen a bloodsucker who could cook."
"Bella's an excellent cook." Carlisle leans in the doorway watching me. I turn the heat up on high and seer the steak to seal in the juices. I add a dash of salt, and fresh pepper, but Nahuel doesn't have more spices.
"Carlisle can cook too." I put the steak on a plate, and it's still running with juices. I turn to face him as Felicia nabs the steak and tears into it while standing at the counter. "Nessie always loved your stuffed french toast."
"You showed me how to make it." We stare at each other over her head. I want to teach him so much more.
"Holy shit, this is amazing! You can cook for me anytime." She's making a bit of a mess with the steak and I turn to get her a paper towel to wipe her face.
"Ahem!" Alice stands there with her arms crossed, facing the girl.
"Aw, come on; I'm eating!" Felicia looks annoyed.
"I heard you, and you made the deal." Alice smiles triumphantly, and Felicia drops her knife and fork in disgust.
"Fine," she mutters. Alice stoops down, and Felicia wraps her arms around her neck and hugs her tight. Alice kisses her little cheek, then lets her go. Felicia goes back to eating, ignoring Alice. I follow Alice into the other room.
"What was that?" I point through the door and Alice grins.
"You told me I should let Felicia hang out if she wanted to. Well, the little chick's got the foulest mouth I've ever heard. Jasper wanted to spank her or wash her mouth out with soap. I thought about fining her a quarter for every cuss word, but I'm already rich, and I'm pretty sure she isn't. So we agreed, that she'd have to watch her language if she stuck around. Every time she slips, she has to pay me one hug lasting at least five seconds."
"You're serious? That's really working?"
She laughs. "She told me she'd rather I let Jasper beat her. Then she said that sounded kinda kinky. So it's the hugs, or we take her back to her mother's." I catch the eye roll at the mention of Cipriana. "She agreed to the deal."
"If Yanna's in your suite, I'd like to go and see how my patient is doing." Carlisle looks at Alice as he joins us. "Well, maybe after I change clothes." He stands beside me, and his hand finds mine and our fingers lace together. "Maybe we should all gather in about an hour to discuss all the Volterra business. How about the council chamber, since it's big enough for everyone. I'd like Aro's children there as well, since I owe them my thanks. I want the whole council, plus Anton, Jasper and anyone else who thinks they have a reason to be there. Oh, and don't worry about the council colors – this isn't a regular meeting."
I hear the plate clatter into the sink before Felicia joins us. Alice hoists her up on her back again, making it look as if she's got two heads. For all her grumbling about hugs, she's got her arms around Alice's neck and her cheek pressed against hers as she pays rapt attention to the grown-ups. Carlisle kisses my cheek before he leaves, and I watch him go.
I head back into the kitchen to clean up, and the two-headed Alice follows me.
"So...?" She looks at me like I've got a secret to share. I turn to face her,
"He doesn't remember. Aurora transferred my memories to him, so he at least believes me. He's making an effort, but he's not there yet."
Felicia chimes in. "That's not how I see it. I could practically smell the sex when we came in. You two were about to bump uglies – or you just finished when we got here. Not that I blame you, he is hot." Alice's second head doesn't hold back.
Alice puts her down and looks at her sternly. "Felicia, if you don't get control of that mouth, I'm going to buy you a baby doll, and make you play with it!" The girl looks horrified.
"Damn, you've got a stick up your ass!" Alice looks suitably shocked, then she stoops down for her hug. Felicia dutifully wraps her arms around her neck. I catch her wink over Alice's shoulder. When Alice goes to kiss her cheek, Felicia instead licks Alice's face from chin to brow, like a dog. "Puppy kisses!" She wiggles out of Alice's stunned grip and bounces into the chair.
I try not to laugh as Alice stands, wiping her face. "It's Barbie and the Dream House for you, young lady!" She points at a smug Felicia, who wags her tongue at her. Then I do laugh.
"I'd rather have Ken than Barbie. Doctor Ken Cullen... Mmm. We already know he makes house calls." Seeing such a suggestive look on such a young face is just wrong.
"Where in the world did you find this chick, and can you send her back?" Alice is partly serious, and partly teasing.
"No! You can't send me back – you promised!" She's out of the chair and facing me, hands on hips and face twisted in anger and defiance.
I drop to my knees in front of her. "I won't send you back." I look her in the eyes until she calms down. "I'll keep my promise. But you've got to do your part too. You're barely five as hybrids go, and yet you're trying to act like you're fifteen. It's not working. You're a very smart girl, and I understand you can take care of yourself. But the mouthiness is annoying." I smile tightly as she looks at me defiantly. "I'm pretty sure you intend it to be annoying. You're so smart most adults probably don't know how to handle you. But you might try listening a little more." Her small nod is her only indication that she's listening.
I stand, and Alice is gazing off in the distance. I recognize the look , and when she snaps out of it she faces me looking stunned. Her whisper takes us all by surprise.
"She's going to rule Volterra some day." She looks down at the little face of the prostitute's daughter. "Don't let it go to your head."
"Cool!" Felicia smiles like she's just discovered she's having ice cream for dessert.
I have enough time to shower and change before our gathering. Alice and Felicia leave me to get ready themselves. When we get to the council chamber the council is all there, but Cipriana. Carlisle follows a few minutes later, pushing Yanna in her chair. She's got a clean dressing on her head, and it looks more like a large headband than a hat. I hope it means that she's healing. The table is gone, and extra chairs have been moved in.
He waves me over, and I move through the small crowd to his side. "She's doing much better. Her incision is almost healed already, and the bone is knitting together as well. She's been using her walker when she's in the bathroom, and her left hand is regaining some of it's strength. It's very encouraging." He looks at me with an intensity that has nothing to do with Yanna. He takes my hand, and when Alice steps in it gets quiet. We close the door.
"I'm glad you could all make it." Alice is so small, and yet she handles authority well. "This is an unofficial council meeting. But it's more important than anything we've done so far. I'm sure by now everyone knows what happened, but for those of you who don't put stock in the rumor mill, I'll give you a brief update, I had an affair with Aro." I can hear the indrawn breaths, and the fidgeting. Jasper moves to her side and takes her hand. "I'm not going to go into the reasons here and now, but he didn't trick me or coerce me. When my husband found out, he arranged a bit of revenge." She stops talking, and Jasper takes up the account.
"Arianna, I humbly apologize for using you to get to your father." He looks at the beautiful girl standing near Yanna, and holding her hand. "I manipulated your emotions until you believed it was your young boyfriend who came to you that day. He is blameless, and I am in your debt. Of course we did not have relations – I love my wife and I could never do that. But I drank your blood, and I'm told I gave you nightmares. Again, I am sorry."
Alice continues. "We tried to cover it up and hide it from Aro. I was afraid he would kill Jasper if he knew. Carlisle lied and Bella blocked her memory with her shield. It worked long enough for Jasper to escape. Then Aro found out we'd deceived him. He's been angry with us all since then. When Jasper challenged Aro to a duel, it was the only way we could allow everyone to save face. The law would demand Jasper's life for in a sense attacking the family of a council member. We all saw what happened, and most of you are in the dark as to why Aro seems to have lost it."
"We've been gathering information, and we've come up with some ideas that might shed some light on a few mysteries we've uncovered. We owe this to Bella and Yanna's hybrid database. We've already been able to match several hybrids with information on their mothers and their extended families. But there have been some mysteries as well. There are some missing hybrids, and a couple missing vampires as well."
Yanna speaks up. "I've grown up in Volterra. I'm the daughter of Caius, and I always treated Athenodora as my mother. But my birth mother was an art student named Yanna, who was kidnapped and raped." She continues nonplussed. "It's how most of us came to be, and I'm the oldest Volterra hybrid – or so I thought. I was born before Joham came to Volterra, but after Renesmee Cullen was born. The leaders figured that Volterra should have it's own hybrid, but I wasn't alone. Aro and Marcus both fathered children." I again hear a collective gasp.
"You would think I'd know this. You'd think we would remember. But this is a secret that's been kept by quite a few, unknowingly." She smiles. "At first we thought Joham manipulated our memories. Maybe he could do what Jasper did with Arianna and just suggest we forget. But those of us who knew these hybrids are getting our memories back a little at a time."
Alice takes over her story. "I've been on the phone most of the day. I've found eight Volturi runaways." She has to stop as the noise is too loud to talk over.
"Did you know about this, Bella?" Carlisle looks at me.
"I knew there were some missing people, but I didn't know she'd found them," I whisper.
"Please, let me finish." The room quiets as she talks. "Through the database, we received a lot of anonymous information, and I believe Aro was one of our biggest contributors. He was clearly beginning to remember those who went missing. I've been in to talk to him, and with the help of his son Armando, I've discovered some startling information." Armando slouches against a wall, looking pleased to be mentioned.
"Marcus abducted Tamara, and together they had Marietta. Marcus changed his captive, and created a vampire. Then Aro abducted a mental patient named Rachele. She gave birth to a son named Angelo, and she was also changed. Rachele and her son both have powerful gifts. She can become practically invisible, and he can manipulate thoughts or erase memories. Caius had abducted Yanna, but she didn't conceive easily, so his daughter was born several months later. He chose not to save her mother." Alice looks saddened at this piece of old news.
"These matings and hybrids were kept secret from most of the Volturi. The three of them were likely going to rule against the creation of hybrids, and they didn't want it known that they'd made their own. When Joham came and took over, these hybrids were about eight years old as hybrids go. Dora alone was known to exist.
Joham of course found out about the others. He put on an elaborate show, where he convinced Marcus and Aro that he'd destroyed the children and their mothers because of their secret. He really did attack them, and he tore them up, but he didn't burn their pieces, and he used his own daughter Colette to heal them."
"Dear god!" Carlisle gasps. "She would have experienced all that pain." Alice nods his way.
"Joham kept a whole group of people locked up in the tunnels under the city. He used them for his personal experiments." Alice looks at us as she tells the news. "One of his captives was Gemma. She was the daughter of one of the Guard. He had a gift Joham needed, but he wouldn't comply, so Joham took her to force him to use his ability. He's the one who created the thermite disks.
I try not to think about the destruction of those disks. "How do you know all this, Alice?" I'm getting impatient for the whole story.
"I've spoken with one of the runaways. Angelo, Aro's first son is alive." Everyone turns to stare at his children, but they're not surprised, she's obviously shared this with them. I'm standing next to Carlisle who obviously doesn't know. Alice looks our way. "I'm sorry. I would have shared it sooner, but you've had a lot to deal with yourselves." The room quiets again.
"The prisoners were held for years. Some grew up in captivity. Most of them were already presumed dead, and Joham did as he pleased with them." Yanna whimpers and clings to Arianna's hand. "We've found Gemma's father, and he's had his memory manipulated to forget her. But his memories are coming back.
Gemma gave birth three times while she was a captive. The first was Joham's daughter, Carolina and the second was Angelo's son, Christiano. The third child didn't survive." Alice pauses, and I can tell the news is going to be bad.
"Joham had somehow found one of the rare werewolves; one of the true children of the moon. Gemma was locked in with him for a full cycle. She was battered, bitten, and raped. Her hybrid resilience kept her alive, and Colette helped heal her. What she gave birth to broke her spirit." I'm reminded of the timid woman I'd met. "Angelo took the memories from her head so she would stop trying to kill herself." The group is quiet.
"Joham had his own son locked up. Nahuel and Huilen were imprisoned for the crime of refusing to lure Nessie to Volterra. Tamara planned their escape. Joham was getting bolder with his experiments, and he had two other hybrids he wanted to breed with the werewolf. He was keeping the three daughters of the Volturi leaders. He was planning to impregnate all three in hopes of connecting himself by blood to the triumvirate." Yanna is horrified, and I see Carlisle take her hand.
"Tamara was smart, and she put together an elaborate escape plan. Angelo removed them from the memories of anyone who knew of them. His mother hid them so they could move outside the tunnels. It was during the full moon when Tamara released the werewolf. In the chaos that followed, eight of them escaped. Huilen was too weak and hungry to go, and Nahuel wouldn't abandon her. Gemma stayed behind with them."
"Did they make it away safely? Where did they go?" Carlisle 's voice carries in the room. Everyone turns to look at him, probably wondering why he doesn't know all this already.
"They all made it away safely. They've been hiding in plain sight in Romania." She grins. "Marcus had shared with Tamara that they had enemies in Romania who'd killed his wife. She took the group there. Vladmir and Stefan hid them up until the war. It's the whole reason they went after Joham during the battle – they knew how dangerous he was."
"It would have been nice if they'd shared the information with the rest of us!" Carlisle sounds disgusted.
"They were afraid to give away the secrets of the group they were hiding. They didn't expect the war to be so fierce. If Aro survived, he could read the information from anyone who knew. Their main goal was to make sure Joham fell." She softens her voice. "They were protecting their wives. Vladmir married Tamara, and Stefan married Rachele. They're both widows now."
"Alice, what does all this have to do with Aro losing his mind?" I want to hear all the details, but we've got a whole group here who may not care.
"It's the memories Angelo blocked. He wanted to erase himself from Aro's mind, even though he believed he was dead. He erased them all from Joham's memory, and he didn't want Aro to remind him. For everyone who knew them, these eight ceased to exist. For most minds, Angelo simply removes the memory. But Aro is different because of his mind reading. His brain is like a computer server, and he's got the memories of thousands of people stored on his hard drive. Angelo did remove them, but Aro also had their memories as well as his own." She was losing me, and I wasn't alone.
She sighs. "Imagine a tall pyramid of ...tomatoes like you find in the market. The base is wide, and each row gets smaller until there's one at the top. For most people, Angelo extracts a memory like picking up the tomato on top. But Aro's tomatoes are all wedged in tight, and the pyramid is huge. Angelo extracted the memories, but they weren't easy to pluck. The whole pyramid shifted and a lot of memories were bruised or crushed."
I'm only partly following her, but now I wish I could still enjoy tomatoes. "It's like Angelo damaged Aro's hard drive when took out all the memories of the eight runaways. He's been compensating, but he's got some corrupted files. Somehow bits of Joham's file have been placed in Carlisle's folder. But to make things really complicated, Angelo's stolen memories don't stay gone forever. Imagine trying to put those tomatoes back into the pyramid. When Aro started to remember, it messed with his whole outlook. It's in the way his mind works. It's as if the file for Angelo popped open, and he's remembering Volterra past as well as present. He's somehow cast Carlisle as Joham – the memories are overlapping in his subconscious."
"And what does that make me?" I'm trying to follow her logic, but he looked at me and called me Isabella.
"You were his captive, Rachele. He tried to convince her to love him, but she had suffered brain damage as a human, and mentally she never grew up. It took her about eight full years to fully mature. She didn't have much use for him beyond a friend and a teacher." Alice looks confused herself.
Jasper speaks up. "I know a bit about how the mind works. But not so much about his mind. He's gone through some kind of dissociation. He knows everyone, but he's merged you with the past. He see's Carlisle, and knows Carlisle, but his emotions are of both Joham and Carlisle. He knows and sees Bella, but she's sharing a space with Rachele. He doesn't realize he's doing it, and it's all on an emotional level. When he attacked Carlisle, he wasn't trying to kill Carlisle, but Joham.
"I learned the hard way you can't manipulate the mind without consequences. When I did it to Arianna, she had nightmares. When Angelo removed his memory from his father's mind, it set a trap that's been triggered by the fight with Carlisle."
Leonora speaks up. "I assume we're not all here to listen to this tragic tale, so much as to decide what to do about a leader who can't be trusted to lead. It's obvious to me that we cannot leave him in a position of power."
"You're right as usual, Leonora." Alice speaks reverently. "We have several changes we want to propose to the council in the light of all that's happened in the past few weeks. I'm very proud of all we've accomplished with this council, but I'm afraid the way it stands now, it's inadequate to handle the kind of events that tend to happen to the supernatural."
"I hope you're not proposing we go back to the old ways." Reese sounds like he's about to get angry.
"No. The council works better than the three. We've done a lot of good, and I think it's vital that we have everyone represented." She passes out a two page print-out. "These are the changes I propose. I'd like you to think about them before you question or object. I've had a lot of help drafting this, and I've done it with the idea that I'm not going to be in charge forever." She smiles brightly. "In fact I'm naming my successor tonight." Jasper kisses her cheek, and she turns and kisses his mouth in a very public display.
I look over the sheets and grin. Nothing is fleshed out entirely, but they're all suggestions to improve the council. I especially like her new choice to lead the council. Felicia pulls the pages from my hands and glances at the name.
"Nope, not me... not yet anyway. But it's cool we're going to have our first hybrid leader." Alice invites her nomination to come and stand with her.
"I have a lot of reasons to get back home. One of the proposals you have there is the remote council. You'd like to get back to Alaska, wouldn't you Reese?" She smiles and he nods. "With the remote council, we can do everything we've done so far, but from our own homes. It means I'll be able to give the council one more month and help get the new chair up to speed. Does anyone want to second my nomination?"
"I'll second." Carlisle raises his hand.
"We could go through all the campaign craziness, but I'd like to know right now, how many would agree to have Aurora lead?" I almost forgot I had a vote. I raise my hand, and she's got all of us in her favor. "I think you've made the best choice. Aurora will be perfect to lead us from the old and into the new."
The meeting lasts well into the night, and we all have our say in what the leadership of the supernatural world will look like. The governing body will rely on modern technology more than traditions and laws. Because the numbers of supernaturals is small, it's possible for each and every one of us to have our voices and votes heard. The council will represent and decide, but we can all have our say, like a town hall meeting over miles of wires and cables. It's what Carlisle was working toward from the beginning.
It's Leonora who breaks up the meeting, with her need to sleep. I hang back, waiting for the room to clear, and it's just our family left behind. Yanna stays, and so does Felicia. The little girl climbs onto Jasper's lap without a single rude comment. In minutes she's asleep as he holds her.
"Now I've seen it all." Alice whispers.
"What are we going to do with Aro?" I'm still not sure it's safe to set him free. I certainly don't want to find myself back under his control.
"We can leave." Carlisle 's quiet words fall like stones in the room. "I don't mean to abandon Volterra, but we might be able to do more good away from here. Let's put this council firmly into Aurora's hands, and spread the word that the council is remote now. Once we're gone, Aro can be set free. He won't have any power, but maybe it will be enough that his daughter is in charge."
"His son wants to see him again." Alice speaks softly so as not to disturb Felicia. "He remembers a father who loved him and tried to protect him. He also wants to meet his siblings. He has a son himself, and he wants Aro to know him."
"Gemma's children." Carlisle shakes his head. "That's going to be a mess. He probably took Colette's memories as well, or I'm sure she would have said something. It seems Aro has sired some pretty powerful children."
"It's the whole reason Joham compelled him to have three." Alice looks disgusted. "It probably would have been more, but if he compels someone, they can't use their gifts. He couldn't charm Aro and still have access to his mind reading. He held Arianna to guarantee his obedience."
"It's no wonder his mind is so messed up." Carlisle shakes his head. "I guess we finally have something in common." I put my arms around him and hold him. I don't want him to think he has anything in common with Aro, even joking.
"Are you serious about going home?" I look at him.
"I think we should." He looks around at each of us. "It looks like we 're all drained. His eyes focus on Yanna. "I'm sure I missed something somewhere. Are you a part of the family now?" He smiles his approval.
For a moment she looks as if she's about to cry. He's forgotten her too. "If that's okay... I want to be where Bella is." He nods.
"I can understand that. I"m sure we have plenty of room for you. And what about this little one?" He indicates the child sleeping on Jasper's lap.
"She wants to go with us when we leave. She's Cipriana's daughter, and she's practically raising herself. Her father is still mourning his wife, and he doesn't want anything to do with her."
"We can't take her with us, Bella." He sounds like he's talking to a child who wants to adopt a puppy.
"I promised her I would." I meet his eyes. "If she hadn't helped us, you would still be in the altar. I owe her, but more than that, I don't like what her life looks like if I break my promise."
"Bella, you can't just take a child from her parents..."
"Don't tell me what I can't do!" I glare at him. "I'm not a child, and I'm certainly not your child. Whatever it takes, I'm keeping my promise." He doesn't say anything, but turns and leaves. We sit in uncomfortable silence, and Jasper stands.
"I think I need to put her down so she can rest a little easier. I'm too cold for her to be comfortable." The way she snuggles against him tells a different story.
"I'm going to go to bed myself. Don't worry about me, Bella." Yanna pats my hand. I kiss her cheek and rush from the room. I catch up to him at the end of the hall.
"Don't you have anything to say?" He stops and turns my way.
"What do you want me to say, Bella? I don't want to fight with you. You're right, I'm not your father."
"Then what are you?" I know what answer I'm looking for, but he doesn't say it. He sighs and shakes his head.
"I'm confused. I'm trying to absorb everything that's happening around me. I'm trying to make sense out of what doesn't make sense. I'm trying to decide what's best for our family, and I'm trying to be a good man. I feel like I'm failing at everything."
"You're not failing." I look up at him, and he looks tired, even though we don't get tired. "You're the best there is and I'm sorry I snapped at you. Will you hold me?" He opens his arms, and I step into them and we hold each other. "I love you." I whisper the words, wanting so much to hear them returned.
"I don't know why. Bella, Esme was the strong one. She's the one who would know how to handle all this mess. She's the one who would figure out how to help that little girl. She's the one who could help Gemma deal with finding out about her two children. And she never would have forgotten being in love. You've got too much confidence in me. I don't know how to make sense of it all." I feel his muscles tense and I know he would be pacing if I wasn't holding him.
I hold him tighter. "Let me help. What good is it to be a couple, if you have to handle everything on your own. I'm here for you. It's only fair, since you've done so much to help me." I dare to look up at his troubled eyes. "You don't think you've got it in you, but I know you do. You're a good man, Carlisle."
"If I'm so good, then tell me why I feel like running away? I mean it, I could just leave this whole mess and just – disappear." His words give me a sick feeling in my heart. But I know he won't run.
"That sounds like a good plan – once we get through this." I smile. "I know you're not going to run away. You've done that before, and it just takes you away from the life you love."
"I don't think you know how great the temptation is..."
"Then what's keeping you?"
His eyes meet mine with an intensity I've not seen since he awoke. "Right this minute, it's you." He licks his lips. "I don't know why." His mouth turns up in a timid smile. "Do you want to come with me?"
Yes! My mind screams. I do want to run off with him, and keep him all to myself. But I remember how he lost his first family by running. Maybe his supernatural family would still be there when we finally came back, but he wouldn't be a man he could face in the mirror. It hits me that part of the reason I love him so much, is because he's not just my Carlisle. He's a man who is invested in living the eternal life he has. He doesn't withdraw, he's not detached, and he doesn't run the other way when things get hard.
"Will you kiss me?" I might still have to ask, but his kiss is real. His hands furrow in my hair, his mouth devours mine, and his tongue boldly meets my own. I pull his body tight against me and show him love. I slide my hand over his behind, and he pulls back. He gazes down at me gasping for air he doesn't need.
"Bella..." I love the hungry look on his face. I want so much to take him to my room and finish what we started before Alice interrupted. I know he would make love with me if I asked.
I look up at him and sigh. "I want to take you back to my room, and remind you of one of the things you love about me." He looks like he wants that too. "But... we've got a lot to do before we can leave Volterra and go back home."
"Why do you care about Volterra?" He looks confused again.
"Because you care about Volterra. You made me care. I care about all the hybrids who have no one on their side. I care about the grieving vampires, I care about the humans who have to live next door to killers, and I care about our family. Whether we're ready or not, they're looking to us to give them a secure place to call home. If Volterra isn't secure, then home isn't secure – we learned that through the war."
"You sound like you've got all the answers," he scoffs.
"They're your answers, Carlisle." I take his hands in mine and look up at him. "Okay Doctor Cullen; you have a patient who's recovering from a serious brain injury. He just wants to be left alone, and he's doubting he will ever get better. Do you let him wallow in his pity party, or do you pull him up and make him do the hard work?"
"So now I'm the patient?" He raises his eyebrow.
"Maybe. But you're also the doctor who wouldn't let Volterra self destruct, you wouldn't let Colette follow in her father's footsteps, you wouldn't leave Nahuel and his family with no home, you wouldn't let Yanna stay wheelchair bound, and you wouldn't let me waste away on the island."
"You don't get it, Bella. It's been two years, and it's still screwed up! We're no closer to a solution than we were the day we got here. It's been a huge waste of effort – the patient is terminal." He lets go of me and begins to pace.
"You're wrong." I catch hold of him again. I turn his chin so he has to face me. "Without all you've done, war would have broken out between humans and the supernatural. You've become a champion of the hybrids. You've saved lives that would have been lost." He looks away from me in denial.
I turn his face to mine again. "Carlisle, you matter. You make a difference. You're not a good man, you're a great man. Sure we've had some set-backs, but that doesn't mean it's all been for nothing. We've been operating on a flawed premise."
"And what's that?" He looks so skeptical.
I smile. "We've been trying to behave as if something of the old Volterra was worthy of being saved. The old laws need to be scrapped. They don't work for the modern world. They don't work in a cooperative environment. And you've been trying to appease too many people. Aurora won't make that mistake."
He looks suddenly interested. "What makes you so sure?"
"She's been in my head, remember? I didn't block any thoughts, and she saw some of my ideas. She agrees with me; things need to change."
He steps away from me and leans against the wall. With a loud sigh he slides down to the floor. "It doesn't matter." He looks up at me. "How much can they expect me to give? My memory is gone, Bella. It's like the love has been erased from my heart. I know it should be there... but I can't find it. It's like it's hiding, just out of my reach. I can feel it, but I can't see it. I can sense it's there, but I can't hear it. I see it reflected in everything around me, but I can't take hold of it!"
I sit on the floor with him – not beside him, but facing him where his knees are drawn up. I bite my lip as I put his legs over mine and slide in close to him. I put my arms around his neck and rest my forehead against his.
I smile as he watches me. "When I was a kid, back in Phoenix, we used to have these tall swings on the playground. The playground was covered in wood chips about a foot deep, since someone thought that they would protect us if we fell off the equipment." He smiles weakly at my story. "What they really did was give us a lot of splinters, but we had swings when other playgrounds took them out for safety. We would get really creative on those swings. One kid would sit and another would face him or her, and sit on their lap, with their legs on the other side like a mutated spider. I had a friend who was really good at this. So we'd be holding on, with our legs pointing opposite directions, and our bodies both centered on the swing."
"That sounds a little dangerous to me." He was absorbed in my story.
"Oh, that wasn't all we did." I smile at the memory. "A third person would spin us, until the chains were twisted as tight as they could go. Then this person would pull us back as far as they could, and then push us hard. The swing would release, and we'd spin and swing, and laugh like crazy for the wildest ride on the playground. "
"Did they ever have to take you to the emergency room after that?" His smile quirks up.
"Nope. I never fell, and I never got a single splinter even." I meet his eyes. "It always worked, because with the two of us holding on so tight, even though we were going different directions, we were too strong to knock down." I lay my hand on his cheek. "You're not alone, Carlisle, just don't let go."
With a strangled sound he clutches me to him and holds me tight with his head on my shoulder. I don't say a word, but rub his back, smooth his hair, and hold him close. He moans against me, and I know he would be crying if he could. We sit there for a while as he expends his grief.
When he's calm, he begins to touch me like like I've been touching him. His hands sift through my hair, and he rubs my back. He lifts his head from my shoulder and just looks at me. We stare at each other, and then he kisses me without asking. Soft and gentle deepens to a kiss that joins us like we were made to be together. His hands tear through my hair and I feast on his sweet mouth.
He kisses my cheek, and pulls me even closer, guiding my head to his shoulder as he nests his chin in the crook of my neck. He holds me still, and I hear his rapid breathing.
"I love you, Bella." His words are whispered close to my ear. He pulls back and looks me in the eyes. "I love you – I do." His mouth drops open in wonder and he hugs me again. "I need you Bella, don't ever let go!" I hold him tight, trying to smother the little voice that wants to know if he's in love with me.
We hug, we kiss, and he declares again and again that he loves me. I echo him, happy to hear the words, and desperate to feel them come to life. When he struggles to stand, we have to separate. We help each other up, and he smiles down at me.
"I want to make love with you – now!" He sounds desperate, and I want him more than ever, but I pull away.
"Not yet." He looks like he thinks I've changed my mind. "I want to, Carlisle – I really want to. But we've got something we need to do first." I take his hand, and start walking down the hall.
"I thought this is what you wanted, Bella. What's so important that it can't wait?"
"Let's just call it P.T."
"P.T.? Physical Therapy? Are you kidding?"
"Sort of... but it's about as much fun as P.T." I stop to explain. "I made a promise to that little girl, and I'm going to do all I can to honor it. I'm going to go talk to her father." He doesn't say a word as we head into the vampire residential area. I tap on the door to his room, and he answers.
We're invited inside, and I 'm stunned. It's a shrine to a beautiful raven haired woman. Her pictures are on every surface. Her clothes are on dress forms, and videos of her are playing on the TV. I explain that his daughter wants to go to Canada with us. He seems confused, like he doesn't even remember he has a daughter.
"Oh, you mean that little brat Cipriana keeps trying to say is mine? She's not. I've been faithful to Nerina since the first moment I set eyes on her. I would never fornicate with another woman – especially a common whore. The child is piteous enough, but you'll never convince me she's mine. Take her away, I don't want her." He waves his hand dismissively, and stares at the video playing. I'm about to leave, when Carlisle speaks up.
"Will you sign papers giving up your rights?"
"Sure... whatever." Carlisle asks him for a sheet of paper, and he comes up with one he tears from the front of a book. I watch as Carlisle writes out his agreement. I'm amazed as doctor's are supposed to have atrocious handwriting, not the beautiful flowing script that crosses the page under his hand. When he's finished, Felicia's father absently signs it. He doesn't dismiss us or see us to the door; he just ignores us as he strokes the sleeve of a black dress.
We walk down the hall as Carlisle neatly folds the paper. Then he stops and pulls me to him in a tight hug. "My god, that could have been me! How awful."
"That was me." He looks at me in shock. "For two years I existed just like that. You broke me out of that prison." He holds me gently.
"You don't have to be like that anymore. I'm not going to abandon you. I may not remember how it all started, but I know I love you." He laughs softly. "It would be foolish to turn my back on such a gift."
"You're not just giving in and accepting it, are you? I mean, do you really...?" His arms tighten and hold me close as he kisses me, cutting off any protest. He kisses me with a passion that takes my breath away, then turns and presses me against the wall. His full on assault makes me ache for him, and his arousal presses against me hard.
He tears his face from mine and looks down on me with a hunger I can't ignore. "I love you. If I didn't love you, I couldn't want you so much!" His voice rasps low against my ear, playing havoc with me. I want to hear that voice moaning against me in bliss.
"Am I to understand Yanna is in your room?" His question catches me off guard, and I realize we're still in a public hallway. He wants privacy.
"Yes." I can barely breathe, as he's still so close, with his hands gliding over my curves, and his body pressing against me.
"I don't have a bed in my room," he laments.
"So? We don't need a bed." His eyes fasten on mine in surprise, like I've just suggested we make love there in the public hallway, or maybe outside balanced on the wall.
"Naughty girl." His eyebrow and the corners of his mouth lift.
"Incorrigible too." My saucy grin answers him.
"Come on, beautiful." He leads the way in a rush that would have confounded human eyes. When we turn into the hallway of our rooms, we both see a sight that makes us groan. Aurora is sitting on the floor outside his door, obviously waiting for him. As soon as she sees us, she stands and hurries down the hall toward us.
"Oh thank god you're back!" I know she can't read me, so I take hold of her, hoping to give Carlisle a chance to direct his thoughts to something less indecent. "It's Papa – he's in a rage and I'm worried for him! Can you please go and...talk to him? He listens to you, and he only screams when I go anywhere near him – please!"
She's clutching me, but she's looking to Carlisle. I couldn't care less about Aro at the moment, but Aurora has helped me a few times, and I don't want to turn my back on her. I look at him and he meets my eyes. I can feel the longing, as he glances toward his door. I see the disappointment on his face and I smile, just out of her sight.
"Let's go." His voice sounds so resigned.
A/N: I'm sure a good editor would have a fit about the eleventh hour revelation concerning the runaways. It's making this story a wee bit longer, so I'm not sure how how many more Thursdays we'll be meeting. It's at least two.
Thanks so much for your patient and faithful following of this crazy tale.