Chapter 34
Madness
She leads us to the execution chamber, where Aro is still in chains. She clings to me as we near the door, and we can hear his bellowing echoing off the walls.
"So if it isn't my traitorous offspring and my enemies! His sing-song voice reverberates with hatred.
"Good morning old friend." Carlisle steps away from us to stand close to the chained vampire.
"You're no friend of mine! You're a traitor and a usurper! You want what's mine and you've finally managed to take it. You should destroy me now. If I ever see freedom again, I will destroy you." His voice holds the menace of a promise.
"Just what is it you see as yours, Aro?" Carlisle's voice is a calm counterbalance to Aro's venomous raving.
"Volterra is mine!"
"I don't want Volterra!" Carlisle matches his volume. "Volterra is a crumbling husk of what it was in it's day. All that mattered of Volterra died at Denali. But even before then it was a shadow of it's former glory.. Volterra was lost when the Volturi were turned into a weapon to slay the innocent. I don't want it!"
"You've turned my people against me!" Aro's snarls and lunges the length of his chains, but Carlisle easily steps just out of his reach. "They mock me and follow in your footsteps. They openly disrespect me!"
"They're not your people." Carlisle's voice is soft. "They belong to no one. They've lived in fear long enough. Can you blame them for the way they behave, now that they no longer have to bow and scrape? If you want their respect, you need to earn it. If they follow in my footsteps, it's because I'm leading them away from war and into a peace they all want. These people are still grieving, Aro. They don't want to go back to the way things were."
Aro looks at Aurora, standing timidly beside me and holding my hand. "You've turned my own family against me." His anger is at a simmer, but even I can feel his hurt and betrayal. Aurora flinches.
"No Papa. We love you." She steps closer.
"Maybe you are still dutiful, but where are the others?"
"Ari and Mando are sleeping. It's early and they've been up all night."
"Likely plotting against me," he growls.
"Papa, we're not against you. We're worried for you, you're not behaving like yourself." She's clearly overwrought, with tears streaming down her face.
""How would you know how I should behave? You're barely ten minutes old. You shouldn't be worried for me, you should worry for yourselves. If I get free you'll all be sorry for your defiance!" His loud ranting makes her cry harder.
I can't take it. I step in close, and slap his face hard. "Stop it! That's your daughter you're threatening – you should be ashamed!" I don't bother to step back when he snarls and strains the chains. Instead I put a hand on his chest and push back. "She loves you, Aro, and you're being a fool. You don't threaten your own children, no matter what you think they've done."
"Oh if it isn't dear, sweet, Isabella here to tell me what I've done wrong." Sarcasm drips from his sneering face. "How about a kiss for old times sake?" He leans into me like he would kiss me, and I hold my ground and turn my head. "No? Too bad, your kisses are so sweet." He gloats over my shoulder at Carlisle. "Remind me to pick up where we left off when I'm free."
I'm so close, I can see the quick movements of his eyes. I know what he's doing. He's not ranting, he's deliberately trying to provoke us. I'm not sure if he thinks an attack will free him or end him, but I'm certain it's the reason behind his baiting.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I meet his eyes.
"No one here has enough spine to kill me." He sneers. "Pacifist is just another word for coward." His eyes dart to Carlisle before meeting mine again. He's not trying to provoke us, he's trying to provoke him. "I should have laid you when I had the chance." Again his eyes flick to Carlisle so fast it would easily be missed.
"Why do you want him to attack you?"
"No one's going to attack me. I'm help-less." He laughs and rattles the chains. "Tell me Isabella, do you know how we made chains to hold our kind? It's quite the story. Just like the weapons for the duel, it required what we call vampire dust. That's just a nice way of saying it's the ashes of vampires we've burned." It sickens me the casual way he speaks of death.
"We took a lot of this vampire dust to the blacksmith, and mixed it in with the hot iron to create the chains and the manacles. It's tougher than steel, and very difficult to come by. It takes a lot of vampire dust. But then again, burned vampires are practically free. Isn't that right, Carlisle?" He rattles his chains again. "I'd even bet there's a little bit of Gabriella in these chains." He smirks.
"Come on Bella, we've heard enough of this." Carlisle takes my hand.
"What's the matter, Carlisle? Didn't you tell your little bed partner about your first slut?" I feel him tense, and his mouth draws into a thin line. We take two steps away, and Aro laughs. "I wonder how many of us had a piece of her before she got to you? You know she was created to be a plaything, right? Maybe her sire tired of her when she didn't sing as loudly in bed as she did on the stage." He makes a suggestive motion with his hips. "I did you a favor having her executed! She was nothing but a common whore, and you were just too stupid to..."
He lunges for him. I've never seen Carlisle truly lose his temper before. I hope never to see it again. His face is twisted in fury, and he snarls with the savagery of feeding wolves. He's reaching for Aro's throat as Aurora's screams pierce the air. I know he's seconds from tearing Aro to shreds, and I'm deadly certain he won't let him mend afterward. I see the look of hatred and feel his spittle hit my face as he rages. I'm the only thing standing between Aro and certain death.
I'm the one who has to resist his attack, and push back as he strains forward. "No Carlisle! It's what he wants, don't give in to him!" He's strong. It's all I can do to keep him from reaching Aro as he fights to go around me – or through me.
Aro isn't helping, as he continues to taunt him. "Don't worry, I never bedded her. She wasn't good enough for me. I don't know about Caius and Marcus, maybe they had a go on her." He laughs mockingly. "She can't tell any tales now, can she?"
Carlisle doesn't even realize I'm there as he pushes and struggles to get to him. "Stop, Carlisle. Please!" I beg. I'm not strong enough to push him away, I'm barely keeping between the two of them.
"Papa please don't do this!" I hear Aurora wailing
"Aurora, get help – hurry!" I don't have a chance to see if she goes as Carlisle lunges again.
"You've certainly tried them all; from a blond to a red head, and now a brunette. I really wish I'd been introduced to the lovely Esme, since I really like red-heads. I'm sure I could have persuaded her to spread her legs for me... let her know what it's like to be with a real man."
Carlisle again tries to reach him, but I can see he's starting to calm down. Aro doesn't realize what I know without a doubt. Carlisle isn't upset by the insults to his manhood, or even the sexual innuendos. It's that they're dead, and that Aro is bragging about the part he played in it.
"Carlisle... baby he's not worth it. This isn't who you are. Please, let's just go." He looks at me blankly, then his eyes focus on me. He stops struggling. "Thank god! Come on Carlisle, don't let him get to you. He's trying to make you attack him. I don't know if he's got a death wish, or some kind of underhanded plan, but you're better than this."
"Good job Isabella. Distract the good doctor so he doesn't get dirt on his hands." I'm able to pull Carlisle away from him. "Did you tell him how close I came to bedding you? You look so good naked, except your breasts are too small." I'm not sure who he's trying to taunt, me or Carlisle, but I don't look back. "You would have let me. I know you would have liked it – just like when we kissed." I feel Carlisle flinch at the comment, but I'm able to lead him from the room.
In the hallway we see Aurora returning with several of the Guard members.
I warn them. "Be careful in there. He's looking for someone to attack him, and I don't know why. Maybe he hopes to escape that way, or maybe he's trying to end his existence. Who knows, maybe he's really gone nuts."
We run into Jasper as we round the corner. Carlisle reaches out to him. "Don't go in there, son. He knows too much about your wife. If you go in there, you'll attack him for sure."
"My god, what happened to you two?" I don't know what he's talking about, but Carlisle looks ashamed.
"I tried to kill Aro, and Bella got in the way." I take inventory, and realize my blouse is torn in several places, as is his shirt. His hair is on his forehead, and there are scratches slowly closing on his arms.
"You attacked Aro? I don't believe it." He looks at us both with his brows drawn together. "I think we need to make plans to leave here as soon as we can. This place is making us all crazy."
"I think you're right." Carlisle agrees. "Yanna is well enough to travel, and I'm ready to get the hell out of here." I'm a little surprised at his language. "Let's talk about it tomorrow morning." He puts his arm around me to lead me away.
"Wait a minute..." I hate to derail his plans. "...I'm going back in to talk to Aro." Both men stare at me. Carlisle steps away from Jasper and takes me aside.
He lowers his voice. "Bella, why do you want to talk to him?" He looks at me suspiciously. "Is it because you kissed him?" He has no memory of me telling him about that.
"We've already discussed that, as well as you kissing Colette." I hate feeling so defensive, and I try to calm down. With a sigh, I put my arms around his neck. "I love you. We can go over all these talks again if you like. I don't owe Aro a thing. But his children are going to need him. If he taunts one of the Guard like he did you, they could all become orphans."
"I don't trust him! What if he tries something with you?" He looks concerned.
"I don't trust him either. I'll be careful, and he is chained up." I smile and kiss him lightly. "He can't read me. He doesn't have any leverage with me."
"I'll wait for you here; don't take too long." Before I head back into the lions den, I kiss him long and slow and deep. His fingers have slipped into one of the holes in my blouse to caress my arm. I don't want to walk away, but I need to avert disaster.
The Guard looks tense as Aro lobs one taunt after another at them, like an archer trying to get a read on their position so he can cut loose a killing volley. Aurora stands almost hidden in a corner. She's still crying, and she looks terrible.
I pull a bench over and sit near Aro. He watches me warily. "Back so soon, Isabella? I would have expected you would be hiding away, fornicating with the good doctor."
"We have plenty of time for that." I don't even bother to smile like I"m joking. "Why are you trying to get yourself killed?"
"What makes you think I' would do that?" A lot of the fight seems to have gone out of him.
"I've never seen anyone who could provoke Carlisle. Only someone who's been privy to his thoughts could tear through his restraint the way you did. You know as well as I do that if that control ever slips completely, he could look like a true Jekyll and Hyde. Why would you try to turn him into a killer?"
He laughs bitterly. "We're all killers, Bella. Why should he get to live with a clean conscience while the rest of us have to live with our mistakes?"
"What mistakes are you talking about? What's bad enough to make you try to end your life after over a thousand years?"
"What is this? Do you want to compare notes? Are you trying to see which of us has more cause to end ourselves? You have no idea how bad it can get! You wanted to end yourself over one death. I have so much blood on my hands I will never be clean again." The way his eyes dart away is telling. He's really an open book to anyone who would care to read.
"You're not talking about all the deaths on your hands, are you? You're talking about someone particular." I stand up. "Who's death haunts you, Aro? Who's death has you so torn up you'd kill yourself to avoid facing it?" His eyes shift to Aurora and back.
"Leave me! Go find your doctor and leave me in peace." I turn to his daughter and ask her to give me some time with him. I also ask the guards to wait outside.
"Why do you want to end it, Aro?" My voice is soft so it won't carry.
"Kiss me and I'll tell you." Even in chains he's still able to irritate me.
"You know better than to ask."
"Touch me, then. If you won't kiss me, then touch me... let me feel the bliss of your mind."
"You'll tell me then?"
"You'll have to see, won't you?"
I don't trust him, but so much of Volterra rides on his shoulders. In this state he's dangerous, and he could be dangerous for a very long time if something isn't done. I reach up and touch his face.
"Ahh... such bliss." He closes his eyes and turns his cheek to rub against my palm like a cat. I go one better, and wrap my shield around him like a bubble so he can't even hear Aurora's thoughts. He sighs in contentment. "I was afraid you'd lost your shield... what I wouldn't give to have this always." His eyes open and meet mine. "I am sorry. I will never forget the depths of my depravity, but I hope some day you will."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Say you'll forgive me, and I'll tell you." I'm about to pull away. "Please! I need to feel absolution for at least one thing I've done. I'll tell you, if you forgive me for what I did to you." I look into his eyes to see what kind of game he's playing. All I can see is a deep well of sadness looking back at me.
"I can't... not yet anyway. I won't lie, no matter how much I want the answer."
"I wish you could have loved me. Your honesty is... more unusual than you know."
"You have your children. They love you." I want to point out something good he has in his life.
He makes a noise that sounds like he's drowning. I can only think of it as raw pain. "My children...?" He looks at me completely horrified. "Bella, I killed my own son!" He collapses in the chains, and only the manacles hold him up. I don't have any idea what he's talking about, and he's started a piteous moaning that hurts just to hear it.
"Aro, I've seen your son just this evening. Armando is fine."
"Armando is my second son. My first is dead because of me!" He doesn't look up, and it finally clicks what he's talking about. I'm about to tell him he's wrong when he launches into a story too fascinating to miss.
"We were fools to attempt it. Dora... Yanna wasn't the first, she was the third. Marcus impregnated a young woman and became a father to a girl he named Marietta. I followed with a son..." He looks up at me with tortured eyes. "...a beautiful baby boy with the face of an angel. He loved me Bella." His face is horribly twisted in his agony. "We changed their mothers – Marcus and I. Our children captivated us. Marcus was truly happy for the first time in... centuries. I was overjoyed with my son. Athenodora raised Yanna while Caius went searching for Joham.
He's quiet for a long time. I feel like I should tell him the truth about his son, but there's a part of me that wants him to suffer. I will tell him, just not now. "I would give anything to be able to go back and talk him out of looking for that man. We didn't know! Dear God we had no idea what it would cost us!"
He meets my eyes. "You want to hear how I killed him, don't you. How could I do anything but; I am the dark fiend, am I not?" A smile twists his lips. "Your Edward always thought himself a monster." He snorts in derision. "He had no idea what a true creature of the dark looks like. It wears my face. How in the deepest pits of Hell did I forget him? He was my joy, and I forgot him! He was my forgiveness and grace, given by God himself, and I was his destruction. How could I ever forget? I remember now, and I wish I could forget!"
He stands and his voice lowers. "Our children were the equivalent of six when Joham came to Volterra. We'd been hiding them from most of the Volturi. Dora had the run of the whole complex, but the rest of them stayed hidden. When Joham came, we thought nothing of continuing this course."
He shakes his head in despair. "Joham came as a wolf in sheep's clothing. At first we thought we'd found a kindred spirit. He came with new life and enthusiasm. We welcomed him with open arms, and brought the Trojan Horse inside our walls. Caius couldn't praise him enough, and he eagerly introduced little Dora to his friend.
"We were all taken in by his charms, and before we knew it, he'd set himself up as a ruler alongside us. Every suggestion he made, we eagerly followed. We were not yet his puppets, but we were his adoring fans. He immediately began to require young woman, so they could be impregnated. He wanted every male to produce offspring, and he even tried to suggest that I do so as well.
"For quite some time, he didn't actually compel us. It was as if his power was still growing and he didn't want to force us. We simply felt friendly and agreeable to him. But I couldn't even think of doing to another woman what I'd done to Angelo's mother. Even more horrific was Joham's insistence that the mothers not be spared. I'd seen Yanna's death in the minds of Caius and Athenodora. Up until then I'd only known those who had been changed. Seeing the captive Yanna die in such a way... turned me against my old friend.
"Caius had always been particularly cold among us. His treatment of his captive went right along with Joham's thinking. But Joham didn't want him to sire another child; he already knew of Caius' secret ability, and he didn't want to take a chance he could breed his competition."
"It was maybe a year, two at best before he gained dominant control over us. There were already many new hybrids in Volterra, leaving behind many dead mothers. The more we saw of Joham's nature, the more Marcus and I were desperate to keep him from finding out about our first children. They were older, and we sent them with their mothers to stay outside the walls of Volterra.
"It was in trying to save them that we doomed them. It was Heidi who gave away our secret. Her gift was close enough to Johams's that she could resist his orders. The population of Volterra swelled, and she was required to bring back more prey. She refused. Joham raged that no one should defy him, especially not a mere woman. She laughed and told him we were defying him even as we claimed to be his loyal friends. To her credit she didn't tell him the nature of our defiance, even when he tore her to pieces. I was stunned when he fed her to the flames rather than allow her to mend.
"It was after Heidi's revelation that Joham turned his attention on both Marcus and me. He wanted to know what she was talking about – what manner of defiance we hid. It was in one of these moments of pressure that I revealed that I wouldn't sire a hybrid. It was an attempt to keep him from discovering our secret, but it also made him force us into mating with his chosen female captives."
I sit listening to his story, unable to interrupt or say anything. I know what Joham did, and I know what it lead to. But I never thought anyone really tried to resist him. I'd believed that the Volturi had gone along with him with no qualms. To hear that Aro had been forced to create his children is a shock. In a sense he was raped.
"My Aurora... she was born as her mother screamed in her death throes. I was not permitted to change her, nor was I permitted to drug her. She suffered almost an hour before she died. My daughter was as beautiful as her brother Angelo, but she remembers losing her mother. It's given her a sad outlook.
"Joham had no use or patience for infants, so I had her to myself for a time.. My wife, of all the women in Volterra, had no interest in caring for children. I had no idea she was bedding Joham, as she avoided my presence and my touch. Not that I would have cared if I had known.
"It was a simple slip. She told him that she didn't want anything to do with my kids. I would see this later in his mind as one more clue to the secrets we were keeping. Aurora was just a year old when Joham found what we were hiding from him. She'd only seen her older brother a couple times, and we had to tell her not to say anything. I still don't know how he discovered them."
He sags in his chains as he finishes this last part. He looks up at me with the most tortured eyes I've ever seen. "Joham was an evil sonofabitch. We thought we were the authority. We thought we held power. But it was nothing compared to his capacity for power and control.
"He summoned Marcus and me to the audience chamber." His voice drops to a whisper. "I was horrified when I saw he had them. Poor Rachele was on her knees in tears, with my son clutched in her arms. She's grown to be quite a devoted mother, and he loved her dearly. Tamara was trying to keep the Guard from separating her from Marietta.
"There was a trial, but for the life of me I still cannot remember with what crime we were charged. Marcus and I were found guilty. But because we were the so-called leaders, they would pay for our crimes!" He chokes in his tearless sobs. "I deserve death for what I allowed. I only wanted to protect them, and I signed their death warrants. We were both helpless to stop him. The Guard protected him and did everything he commanded. They had to hold us back, as we both would have risked death to save them.
"I didn't know what to expect. I had no idea if hybrids could be killed normally, or if they were like vampires. I was totally ignorant, but Joham knew." He stops and squeezes his eyes shut, as if to keep the images from his tortured mind.
"Both women were forced to watch what he did to their children. They were like eight year-olds in their development, and they were terrified when he snatched them from their mother's arms. It was all my fault! I shouldn't have hidden them. I shouldn't have left them so close. I shouldn't have left him get control of Volterra! Please Bella, destroy me – I cannot live with the memory!
"My Angelo looked to me to save him, and I could not. Joham took little Marietta first. She screamed when he bit her, and she struggled for all she was worth as he drank from her. Her struggles were nothing in comparison to Marcus. He was a man possessed, and it took most of the Guard to hold him. Joham finished her and snapped her neck before he dropped her to the floor." He's quiet and gasping for air as his mind looks back over the years.
"I can't! I can't tell it! My son... how could I have forgotten?" He looks terrible, with his face twisted in grief as he remembers. I can't take it anymore.
"He's not dead, Aro. They're alive – all of them."
"You lie! I saw it... I saw what he did to them! My god if I am even half the demon he was I'll go to the flames myself, I swear!"
"You saw what he wanted you to see. He didn't burn them, and he didn't completely drain them. He used his daughter to help them heal. He kept them in the tunnels below Volterra, and he tortured and experimented on them until they escaped."
"That's not possible! I saw their deaths." He argues with me, while his eyes search my face for hope that I'm telling the truth.
I put my hand on his face and whisper, "It's true." I drop my shield and think of all I've learned about the runaways from Alice. When it snaps back in place, he's staring at me slack-jawed. "They're alive. The Romanians hid them and protected them."
He goes from looking stunned in his disbelief, to throwing his head back and laughing insanely.
"Those decrepit, old leeches! All this time, and they had them hidden. If they were not already dead I'd kill them myself!"
"Aro, you and the rest of the Volturi were under Joham's control. They couldn't tell you."
"They married them... Stefan raised my son. He's really alive?" He looks at me as if he thinks I'm trying to play a trick on him.
"He's really alive. You also have a grandson." He laughs again, but it's more like a giggle than a laugh. "Does this mean you're finished?"
"What do you mean – finished?" He looks at me like I'm crazy.
"Are you finished trying to kill yourself?" I cross my arms and watch his rapidly changing personalities.
"Why would I kill myself? I have a grandson – I'm a grandfather!" He whoops loudly, and Aurora comes running in looking terrified. "Come here!" He rattles the chains as he looks her way. "Come give your papa a hug!"
She steps closer, like she's afraid he's going to self-destruct, even though he's wearing a huge grin. "Why didn't you tell me?" He questions his wary daughter. "You knew your brother was alive... why didn't you tell me?"
"I only just learned of it myself. I forgot about him. I would have told you the news, but you wouldn't stop yelling and making accusations. I even tried to send it to your mind, but you somehow blocked me."
I interrupt them. "Excuse me, if everything's okay here, I've got someplace I'd rather be."
"But what about Papa... he's still chained up?"
"You're the next one in charge, you figure it out." I pat her confused head and hurry from the room. Carlisle isn't in the hallway where he said he'd wait. I rush down the length of hall and turn the corner, but he's nowhere to be seen. I wonder if he thinks there's something between Aro and me. He'd promised he wouldn't leave me, but that was before he lost his memory.
I hurry back to our hallway, and I don't see him along the way. I'm hoping he wasn't called away, or had some other kind of emergency. There's no one visible on our hallway and I find a note on my door.
'Bella.' Doctors aren't supposed to write so beautifully, but his writing has even more curls and flourishes than Edward's. I open the note with trembling fingers.
"I wanted to give you more time and privacy, as it seemed you needed it. I am waiting for you in my room... if you want to be with me."
Even in his writing he's uncertain. I sigh. He doesn't know me well enough to be sure I want to be with him. He's so dear to me. I smile at the simple way he's letting himself reach out to me, even through his doubt and fear. He may be unsure, but he's hopeful. I carry the note across the hall and tap lightly on his door.
The man who opens the door to me is in love with me. I can see it in the way his eyes drink me in and the irrepressible smile that lights his face. I feel the fluttering that bubbles up from somewhere inside me and steals my breath. I fling myself into his arms as he pulls me inside. Before closing the door, he puts a note on the outside that makes me smile. DO NOT DISTURB!
I want to tell him about Aro, and his breakthrough. I want to ask him if he's seen Yanna yet this morning. And I want to talk about returning home. But more than anything I want to kiss his sweet mouth and hold him tight. I cling to him and he holds me in the tight circle of his arms. When he tips my chin up I gaze at his tender look.
"I love you," he whispers as he lowers his face to mine. When our lips meet , I'm reminded that he's only had a day to relearn his feelings for me But his mouth knows me well, and his tongue quickly connects with mine as the kiss deepens almost immediately. I want to just savor everything he offers, as our mouths explore, and his hands glide over my back and down over the back of my jeans. His body remembers me.
"Bella... I want you!" His desperate declaration makes me ache for him.
"I'm yours baby – all yours." I hear the neediness in my voice. He reaches for the buttons of my blouse, and I stop him. "Don't unbutton it, it's already ruined." The look on his face makes me wonder if I've pushed him too far too soon. Then his eyes light up and a low growl rumbles from within him.
His fingers gently trace over the skin of my neck before they take hold of both sides of my blouse – and pull. Buttons pop and fabric shreds, and I've only got my bra to protect me from his hands and eyes. Like a river gushing past a dam, the flood gates are opened and he consumes me. We're kissing, touching, fondling and just trying to get at one another as quickly as possible. I tear his shirt from him as he did mine and my bra joins the mess on the floor. His mouth on me makes me cry out as his hands work to get me out of my pants as I clutch his head to me.
"I love you Carlisle. I want to make love to you..." His lips find mine again and he exploits my mouth as his hands roam over me. We separate long enough to remove our own pants, and he stares at me. I tremble as his eyes take in every uncovered detail.
"You're beautiful – my god I can't believe you're mine!"
I close the gap between us and slide my hands over his naked body. "I'm your wife, your lover, your most ardent supporter... I'm all yours."
I feel his nervousness when he puts his arms around me. His kiss is full of longing and hunger, and I hold him close as my fingers explore the satin glory of his hair. He tears his mouth from mine and just stares at me.
"I love you – you're like a miracle here to save me. Bella, I feel like I'm dreaming, and I don't want to wake up."
"This is real, Carlisle." I know he needs the reassurance, but I'm desperate to feel him. I put my hand between us and touch him – there. He gasps, and I smile. "It's as real as your body, and I need to feel your body..."
"I don't even have a bed." His protest is feeble, and I smile.
"I want you anyway – on the couch, or the floor, or your shower, or even that big desk. As long as it's you the where doesn't matter." He answers me with a growl and pulls me against him hard. I feel his arousal between us, but I want it in me instead. He must be reading my mind, as I feel his hand cup my behind and squeeze. His fingers slide down my thigh and he lifts my leg to position it around his waist.
His eyes fasten onto mine as he positions himself. He hasn't chosen the couch, the floor, the shower or even his desk. He lifts me, and I feel his hardness pressed against my slick and needy opening. Unerringly he lowers me slowly onto him as I cry out at the welcome intrusion.
"I love you – Carlisle please! You feel so good... yes!"
"Bella..." His throaty whisper against my neck makes me squeeze him, and he groans. He lifts me and again guides me to the place where we meet. Our strength, balance and endurance makes this easy. With my legs around him, he supports me as I move to take full advantage of his body. I can't control my cries of pleasure and he kisses me.
"Careful – everyone will hear you." His warning comes with a smile, and a thrust of his hips.
"I don't care!" I gasp. "You drive me crazy, and it feels so good. Don't stop... oh Carlisle I love it... I love you!"
"I love you too, Bella – you're amazing. I don't want to stop, but I need to change..." He steps over to the couch, and without separating we tumble into the cushions with his delicious weight on me. Then he proves to both of us again that he's master of my body. Carlisle unrestrained really is a force of nature. I know from the sounds of pleasure echoing off the walls that it would be impossible for anyone nearby to miss what we're up to. But I really don't care. Considering how many screams of terror and pain the walls of Volterra have witnessed, I give voice to my pleasure and bliss without holding back.
He looks at me in wonder and love as the rhythm of his body pushes me to the edge of a passionate release, and keeps me there. I writhe and push against him with my hips; trying to get closer to him. I stare up at him, just loving everything about him: His hair on his forehead, his mouth open in wonder, his low groans of satisfaction, and his eyes meeting mine, all combine with the driving motions of his incredible body and send me over the edge.
It feels so good, and I cry out as my eyes squeeze shut and my body shudders against his. I listen to his own release, as he gasps and moans. I open my eyes to take in the way his face twists as he loses control. Another wave of pleasure washes over me, and he watches me as if fascinated. I'm still breathing hard when he settles his weight over me and holds me close. I wrap arms and legs around him as our hips still move with little aftershocks of bliss. I tuck my chin in the crook of his neck and close my eyes.
"...love you," I murmur against his smooth skin.
"You're so beautiful," he mumbles against my hair. "I love... love is such an inadequate word. You captivate me – I'm awed."
He pulls back to look me in the eyes. "I know how it all happened even if I can't remember it myself. If I ever doubted... this proves I was wrong. We belong together, and I'm never going to let you go. I wish I could just make love to you from now until this place falls down around us. You're so passionate, unrestrained, and wild – I love it!" He kisses me exuberantly. "I love you."
All I can do is smile. "You're pretty passionate and wild yourself. I'm absolutely willing to make love from now until... we need to hunt."
He grins. "We don't have to stop on account of hunting, we'll just make love afterward."
"Mmm, I like how your mind works. We'll make love outside, under the stars..."
He kisses me. "I was actually thinking about after we returned from hunting. But I like your idea so much better. You make me feel like I can do anything."
"When it comes to making love, you can – as long as it's with me."
"Always." He looks down at me, as if it's a promise. He smiles wickedly as he pulls away from me. "I want to do it again."
"Do what?" I watch him as he stands and walks over to his desk.
"I want to make love again. Right here – now." He looks at the desk and plucks one thing from the organized clutter on the surface. He tucks it into a drawer, then shoves everything else to the floor. "Come here gorgeous, let's play doctor."
I love this man. I smile seductively as I walk his way. "I'm so glad you're here Doctor Cullen." I purr playfully. "I've got this deep, burning, ache I need you to help me with..."
I never knew how solidly they made desks, but we put his to the test. Still after all the testing and playing, we wind up on the floor. I wish the carpet was softer, instead of the antique against my back. But I don't complain as he lies partially atop me with his hand lazily caressing my spent body.
"I love your body, Bella." He's hit on the one thing I'm most self-conscious about. "Don't look as if you don't believe me, I really do." His fingers tease over me. "I love how responsive you are here." He takes one peak into his mouth and I moan softly. "I love how they fit perfectly in my palms." He gently squeezes and I sigh. "I love your tiny little waist and your sexy derriere. And I love your long legs..." His hands caress my thighs. "...and I especially love what's right here." He kisses me there and I gasp.
I wonder who will tire of making love first, me or him. He shows no signs of slowing down, as I lie on top of him much later, after round three – or was it four? He took great delight in showing me why he loved my body, including how his hands could almost span my waist, and how my long legs could reach his shoulders. I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have put some limitations on what we could do.
But looking down on him, I know I'd never tell him no. I don't know how I ever missed how absolutely gorgeous he is. Even if he was off limits, I should have noticed something. But Edward had my complete focus. Being in love must make me completely single-minded. No one I can think of even comes close to Carlisle now.
"What are you thinking?" His question brings me back to the present and I lie on his chest looking down on him.
"I'm just wondering that I never saw how hot you were before." He laughs at that.
"We're not made that way. I mean all of us – vampires. We mate, and it's for life. I can honestly tell you that I never saw 'hot' you were either." His eyes are so honest as he gazes up at me. "I hate to sound so unromantic, but a lot of it is vampire physiology. I could never look at Rosalie or Alice in the same way I do you. And to be honest, even Esme is fading in comparison now." He looks uncomfortable. "Don't get me wrong I still remember, and while she was my mate, she was everything. But now you are everything."
"I'd like to think there's more to it than that. I mean what about Aro and his wife? He's not in mourning for her."
"Aro was never in love with her to begin with. What they had was a business arrangement. Unattached vampires are totally free to be with... anyone. But once that bond forms, it's permanent."
"What about Alice?" I just don't buy it.
"She was …. ill maybe? I don't know. It shouldn't have been possible. I mean Chelsea could break those bonds, but most of us fall in love and stay in love."
"What about when you forgot me?" I run my fingers through the hair at his temples, wondering what's going on in his remarkable mind. "You could have found someone else, and I'd have felt this bond forever, and you wouldn't." A look of pain crosses his face.
"I think that was what confused me the most. I lost my memories, but I didn't lose that connection to you. But it was like smelling roses when there is no garden, or hearing music when there's no source. It felt unnatural."
"It is unnatural," I grumble. "It sounds too much like the imprinting of the Quileutes."
He laughs. "Actually, it's more the opposite. We fall in love and form a bond, but they form a bond and then fall in love. It's funny you should mention the imprinting, since it's almost how I felt about you after the memory loss. I felt the bond, but I had to learn to love you again. Don't look so upset, I really do love you."
He's kneading my behind as we speak, and it seems to distract him. "You have such a nice little tush. You have no idea what I want to do to it." He looks up at me mischievously.
"Try me," I challenge.
"Maybe I'd like to... plant some flowers in there – since you're not using it for anything." I giggle, then I remember I didn't give him that ridiculous memory when Aurora was transferring my memories.
"Why did you say that?" I look down on his teasing face.
"I don't know... I was just playing I guess. You'd look adorable with flowers sprouting from your arse – maybe tu-lips."
"When can we go home." I change the subject. "I want to get out of here and get back to living our own lives as soon as possible."
"Whoa, did I say something wrong?" The worry on his face makes me smile reassuringly.
"No. You said something right – very right."