Edward held me for hours on the couch before he finally crossed the street to his house. It was probably the most intimate experience of my life and we never even kissed. He just held me and told me how lucky he felt to have met us.
From past experience I was sure that I was actually the lucky one.
Edward shared his relationship history with me. He's had two serious relationships; one that lasted 2 years but ended amicably and one that lasted 5 years and ended with him finding out she was unfaithful right before he started ring shopping.
Now, his non-pushy pursuit makes sense. I guess everyone has a reason to guard their heart.
We talked about Alice and the new baby. About rearranging the nursery room and getting the bassinet back down from the attic. He told me that he's missed us both this last week and that he can't wait to eat one of my home-cooked meals again. I had to swear never to cook Chicken and Dumplings for another man. If that's not a promise, I don't know what is.
Monday came fast and Edward and I found ourselves in the waiting room of my new Midwife. They called me back up to the desk and Edward turned into a nervous mess. As I started walking out of the lobby with my sample cup to head to the restroom, he hopped up and practically shouted for me to wait and didn't I want him to go with me. I shouty whispered that I was just going to give a urine sample. I've never seen him so red.
Once we were called back and I was weighed and measured the Midwife came in to take my history. With her chart was sufficiently filled in she handed me a gown with instructions for it to open in the front and she would be back in a few minutes. Just a beat of awkward silence and Edward cleared his throat, stood and faced the wall.
I gave a quiet "okay" once I was sitting on the edge of the exam table with the opening wrapped around my midsection. Looking him right in the eye, "When this dildo-cam goes up my hooha you're eyes stay above the belt. And don't even think about looking at anything lower than my belly button. I have stretch marks and there's no reason for you to be scarred for life."
"Um, I googled it last night, so I know that today is going to be the transvaginal ultrasound thing. And for God's sake Bella I'm acquainted with your daughter, I know you have stretch marks. I think you're beautiful, please don't be nervous. I'm here because I care about you, I want to share this with you." If I didn't think he was amazing before, I do now.
Just as the tears start pooling in my eyes, the Midwife knocks and enters. Just a few minutes later, I'm in stirrups having a personal moment with an ultrasound wand. Before I can even be embarrassed, the loud wooshing heartbeat fills the silence in the room and she turns the monitor so that both Edward and I can see the baby. It's jumping and wiggling, but so clearly a baby.
"Oh, Bella" his voice breaks and when I pull my eyes from the screen to see him, his face is streaked with tears just like mine. We're just smiling like weepy fools at each other. This is awesome. This is what life should always be like. Just for a moment, I allow myself to wish it had been like this when I was pregnant with Alice, to wish that Edward was her Daddy and that this baby was his. I blink away tears and thoughts as the Midwife prints out a couple pictures of the baby.
She confirmed my gestational progress, 12 weeks 3 days. I can't wait to get done here and talk to Alice about her new baby on the way. Once she's in the loop I'll tell Esme and Carlisle. I'm sure Rose already told Emmett.
Edward is quiet the whole way to Rose's house. I'm not sure what to make of his silence, but I'm hopeful that he's just trying to absorb everything from the appointment. When we get to Rose's house she looks kind of rough. Apparently no one napped this morning. Alice konks out the minute we get her strapped in the car seat and luckily stays that way all the way to her crib.
Edward waits in my living room until I'm clicking the door to Alice's room closed, "Bella," he starts, then stops. I'm about to ask him if everything's ok; I'm so afraid he's having thoughts. Maybe it's too much to be with a woman who's having another man's baby. Before I can finish that heartbreaking train of thought, he's rushing towards me and I'm in the most passionate embrace of my life.
The kiss is every emotion; it's passion and want, respect and adoration. I can feel how much he cares for me with the gentle but intense pressure of his lips on mine. He opens his mouth just enough to tug on my bottom lip, but I'm too overcome to stop with that. I haven't been made to feel this wanted in I don't even know how long, maybe never. I need his tongue, I need his breath. I just want everything.
He groans and I'm done. I need him, I need this so badly.
"Please." I can't believe I'm begging, but before I can feel brazen for my outburst he's right there with me.
"God, Bella. You're so perfect, so beautiful. I can't believe this is real, that you're mine. I need you. I want you so much." His voice is raspy and I'm spinning. I can feel him hard and pressing against my hip. I can't get naked fast enough.
I'm stuggling with my cardigan. Thank God I'm wearing a dress. Just as he's about to pull down my panties, I shout out "The lube!"
He laughs and I'm guessing he thinks I'm a sex fiend or something, but I quickly clarify, "The appointment, with the wand. Um, there was lube. You know, applied. Generously. I feel kind of gross." The look on his face reveals my misstep. Crap, backtrack Bella! "I mean, you're so sexy and you're making me feel so sexy, but my panties feel slimy. I need a shower, or at the very least a baby wipe or something."
His smirk gives me room to breathe again.
"You can take a shower, sweetheart. No need for baby wipes." As I'm walking down the hall to my bedroom to the master bath for the fastest shower of my life he calls out, "I bet you'll need help. I'm right behind you."
Showering with Edward wasn't really as erotic as one might expect. It's hard to share the shower spray, someone always feels a little cold. I ended up with shampoo in my eye and I lost a contact down the drain. It was kind of a relief to know that we were so squished together that he couldn't really get up close and personal with my stretch marks.
We dried off and put on old t-shirts and panties, well he had to put on his same boxer briefs, but whatever. Snuggled up under my old quilt I felt safe and treasured, but not particularly sexy anymore.
"You're one of a kind, you know that right?" When I didn't respond he must have taken that as reason to continue.
"I've never met anyone like you. The Texas Pete on your scrambled eggs, the pepper sauce on everything, Chicken and Dumplings, and not a blanket or actual comforter in the whole house. Do you have anything other than quilts? And the knitting; I remember my mom knitting when I was younger, but seeing you knit is a whole different thing. The way you ramble, the snorts and giggles. You make everything sexy. You're so beautiful, Bella. Such a wonderful mother. I can't believe I know you. I can't believe I'm with you like this."
I'm just overwhelmed. I know it's too soon but I can't hold it in. I've never felt so cared for, so loved. I'm so in love with him. I want to tell him, but I just can't.
"Alice is going to be waking up soon, we should probably get up and get dressed." He nods, but before I can finish rolling over his hand is under my shirt and low on my belly.
"You know I want this, right? I want you, not just your body. I want the whole thing Bella. You, Alice, this baby. This is it for me. It's fast, improper; but I need you to know that this is it for me. You're it."
I've lost the ability to speak, so I just nod. He grins and rolls out of bed.