Title: Yachiru's Bedtime
Date: 21 June, 2009
Words: 342
Characters: Yachiru, Zaraki, mentioned Yamamoto
Pairings: None (I know, no HitsuMatsu anywhere… Where has my sanity gone?!)
Summary: Yachiru gets a bedtime story.
Inspiration: Robot Chicken. Maybe I watch too much crap nowadays?
Rating: T or PG-13

A/N: Honestly, it just happened to fit these two perfectly. 8-) And I promised I'd get back to writing as much as possible.

Please enjoy and review!!!
-Rachel Noelle

oOoOo—RN—oOoOo

"Well, Squirt, if ya give a mouse a cookie…"

"Ooh! I like mice! Can I have a mouse, Ken-chan?"

"No, now shut up and listen. If ya give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk-"

"I want some milk, Ken-chan."

"Later. If ya give a mouse a glass of milk, he'll want some more."

"Can I have two glasses of milk? With a mouse?"

"No. Now shut up an' listen. If ya give him more milk, he'll develop a taste for shinigami blood."

"Blood is pretty, Ken-chan."

"It is, ain't it? But, if the mouse gets a liking for shinigami blood, he'll turn into a vampire. And not them lousy good-fer-nothing-excuses-for-a-vampire-Bounts, either. A real vampire, like the humans believe in."

"I wanna be a vampire, Ken-chan!"

"Sure ya do. Now shut up again. Now, if he 'comes a vampire, he'll create some followers. Then if he makes some followers, they'll hafta feed, too."

"I'm hungry, Ken-chan."

"We jus' ate. Be quiet. If the vampires feed too much, we'll hafta call in all the Gotei 13. And if the Gotei 13 gets called in-"

"Will the vampires eat them, too?"

"Exactly. We don' wanna be vampire food, now do we?"

"Nope. I wanna be a vampire, Ken-chan!"

"Yeah, yeah. But, if the Gotei 13 failed ta control the vampires, then Yama-jii'd have ta call in a nuclear strike."

"What's that, Ken-chan?"

"Huh? Oh, it's something or other that makes a big explosion."

"Wow!! That sounds fun!"

"Actually, it does. But anyway, if the nuke gets dropped, everybody'd die. Then we'll all turn inta a nuclear wasteland and every other place with access to a nuke, like Hueco Mundo, would start droppin' nukes."

"Hueco Mundo has… new-clee-are stuffs?"

"Sure, why not, kid? But if they start droppin' nukes, the whole universe would be destroyed, an' us with it."

"Really? Wow, Ken-chan. Can we try that?"

"That ain't a very smart idea, kiddo."

"Oh… Okay."

"So, that's why I had ta kill Yama-jii. He was tryin' to give a mouse a cookie."

oOoOo—RN—oOoOo

Notes:
This is what the original Robot Chicken sketch entails. I changed it up a bit, after they changed it, of course. Lol. I think whoever compiled this left out a few words, or something like that, but, basically, if you haven't seen this skit, this is what it says. When I last saw it I automatically thought of Yachiru and Zaraki. Hahaha.

Mother: If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk. If you give him some milk, he'll want more. If you give him more milk, he'll develop a taste for human blood. if he develops a taste for human blood, he'll become a vampire. If he becomes a vampire, he'll have to make followers. Now if he makes some followers, they'll need to feed. If they feed too much, the National Guard will be called out. If the National Guard is called out, they too will become fodder for the vampires. If the National Guard fails, the President will call in a nuclear strike. If a nuke is dropped, hundreds of thousands of people will die. America will become a nuclear wasteland and collapse. With no one to keep the rest of the world's nukes in check, every crackpot nation will launch their own. Eventually, the entire earth will be destroyed. That's why I had to kill daddy. He was trying to give a mouse a cookie.