Title: Never Let Me Go
Couple: Hermione/Sirius
Rating: M, for later chapters.
Disclaimer: Really, I wish I did, but I don't own anything related to Harry Potter. The wonderful and amazing JK Rowling owns it all.

Chapter Five

"Never again!" Hermione seethed as she stomped into the flat, arms anchored down by groceries. Sirius laughed and had to stick his foot out as the door nearly shut in his face at her haste to get away from him. He couldn't stop laughing, though, as he watched her empty the bags with vigor, slamming each product down and causing a ruckus.

He handed her the bags he'd helped her carry in and snatched his hands away quickly before she could damage something.

Sirius watched her, amused as she started putting things away and casting him dirty looks every time she turned around. She had every right to be cross with him. He'd been a very bad boy on their trip to the grocers. But, how could he not, when all the memories of his trip with Lily came flooding back. The red headed witch nearly hexed his balls off, and Sirius was sure if Hermione had a wand, she would have.

The moment they'd stepped into the store Sirius started his mayhem and Hermione hadn't even noticed. At least, not until a gallon of milk exploded on a little old lady and she caught him snickering. And from then on he only got worse. It was all Hermione's fault though. The way her eyes narrowed and her face flushed, he just couldn't help himself. It was like a game. 'Find the ways that make Granger tick'?

"You are a lucky man, Sirius Black," Hermione told him, and her tone told him she was serious. "If I had a wand..." she shook her head and emptied a bag of apples into a bowl he'd never seen before, setting it in the middle of the small table they used for meals.

"And what would you have done, hm?" he bated her, purposefully. "Hexed me balls off?"

He was rather surprised when she turned a wicked eye on him and chuckled. "Oh, much worse."

Well, that sure did wipe the smirk off his face. Sirius didn't know whether to be scared or aroused and just encase, he took a careful step behind the couch. Her laughter – more genuine this time around – made his heart tighten and the corners of his mouth lift.

The front door opened and they both shot a fleeting glance to see Remus coming through the threshold. However, Sirius' attention was caught as Hermione bent over to place something in the ice box. Her jeans were far too fitted and his pants got considerably tight at the perfectly shaped bum sticking up in the air.

The sight was gone as soon as she straightened and turned around. "Thank, Merlin. Remus, you will not belie-" Hermione paused and her eyes settled right passed his shoulder. "Remus?"

Fear washed over him at her tone and Sirius turned around to find his friend looking a little worse for wear. Remus dropped his briefcase and pulled at his tie until it hung loosely around his neck. "Oh fuck..." Sirius couldn't move, while worried his fear kept him rooted. "What happened?"

Remus shook his head. "No one else has died, Sirius," the werewolf offered a smile, but it was more a grimace than anything. "I saw Lily today-" Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus held up a hand to stop him. "She's fine, as is Harry. Her sister's just been giving her some trouble, so she's going to move back home. Emmeline's going to stay with her for a while. And St. Mungo's contacted her this morning. They can only keep him for so long, so she's set a date."

The flat was silent after that, one could almost hear a pin drop. No one moved, not even Hermione. Sirius stared at Remus. She set a date. So that meant, James would finally be laid to rest soon.

"When?" he croaked.

"Wednesday."

Sirius calculated that in his head. So, three more days and his friend would be buried six feet under... Not chancing a glance at Hermione, Sirius hung his head, mumbled something unintelligible and headed towards his bedroom.

He needed a drink.

/-/-/-/

The two days that followed Remus' news, Hermione tried to keep herself as busy as possible.

First things first, she finally had her wand. And Remus had the good sense to make an appointment with Ollivander. Instead of having to face the bustling crowds of Diagon Alley, Remus had apparated them right into the store, and Ollivander was kind enough to close his doors while she searched for her wand.

It had taken only two tries before she found it. A wand she was only too familiar with. Her heart sped up and her eyes had filled with unexpected tears. The vine wood was smooth in her hand and she could feel the magic from the dragon heartstring core flowing through her, making her feel like she finally had found the missing piece to her soul. Remus had kindly, if not rather awkwardly, patted her arm to comfort her. And Hermione was sure she'd surprised the shy man when she threw her arms around him and cried into his chest.

After that she spent a good amount of time studying. She'd procured the books from Remus, who'd kept all of his texts from his time at Hogwarts. If she wasn't cooking, she was always found in her bedroom or on the couch, books surrounding her and chewing on the end of a quill.

As each day passed, Hermione got to see just what kind of man Sirius was and she couldn't have been happier to have her wand.

He was a right player!

The very night they learned the date of James' service, a buxom blonde showed up whisking Sirius away for a night on the town. And the next morning Hermione was making breakfast for Remus, Sirius, and a redhead. Not to mention she had to place a silencing spell up, when the moans of Sirius and his company had leaked out into the rest of the flat.

Remus had tried apologizing for his scoundrel of a friend, obviously having heard the overzealous couple. But Hermione was quick to shush him before he could say anything, declaring it was better than him flying into a rage and possibly hurting himself.

The day before the funeral, Hermione sat on the couch with a scroll of parchment in her lap and a book hovering in front of her face as she studiously took notes. She had stayed out of Remus and Sirius' way for good reason. While they hid their emotions well, Hermione knew that tomorrow was weighing heavily on the both of them.

She felt it too, maybe not as severe, but her heart was still aching.

Hermione's face snapped up when her Arithmancy notes were snatched away from her lap and in their place laid Sirius Black's head. She raised a dark brow and watched as his nose wrinkled in distaste as he scanned the parchment.

"Ech, Arithmancy," he said, throwing it carelessly to the floor. "Why would you be studying that, hm?"

"Is it a crime to want options?" she asked, pulling on a strand of his well-groomed hair. It was obvious he had just showered and if his clothes said anything, he would be going out again tonight. She'd pulled on his hair to get him to move, but Sirius blatantly ignored the hint. Hermione sighed. "So, what's the name of today's flavor?"

She didn't even try to hide her dislike for his debauchery and he had the gall to grin up at her. "Sally, or no wait- Sandy?" his grin faltered as he frowned in thought. "Or maybe it's Barbara?"

Hermione snorted, very unladylike, and shook her head. "Really?"

His grin was back within moments. "Aw... You jealous, 'Mione?"

The nickname made her bristle but she barked out a laugh. "Jealous?" she looked down at him incredulously. "What do I have to be jealous about? I have no romantic feelings for you, Sirius."

A black perfectly shaped eyebrow raised disbelievingly at that and she looked pointedly at the Arithmancy book levitating in front of her. Her notes were currently on the floor, but that didn't mean she couldn't focus on her reading. Hermione could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't dare look at him. Not because what she said was a lie. It wasn't. She didn't have romantic feelings for him, that didn't mean she didn't care for him. Hermione cared a great deal for Sirius. Just as she did Remus...

"I don't believe that."

Sirius' tone was soft but determined. He didn't believe a word she said and that's what made her look back down, mouth open to disagree. The gentle tap on the front door interrupted her and she glared at it. "You better get that," she told him.

Time passed, mere minutes, and the gentle tap on the door turned into incessant knocking. Sirius didn't move, until a woman's voice from out in the hall called his name. He jumped up from the couch with grace, fixing his clothes and running his hands through his shoulder length black hair.

"You look fine," Hermione rolled her eyes.

He looked at her for a second, before leaning down and shocking her with a peck on the cheek. "Don't wait up, love."

/-/-/-/

Hermione had been hesitant to go to the service. But Remus assured her it would be fine, that Lily had wanted her to come. Whether or not Lily wanted to hex her still remained to be seen.

The Potter's home was full of people, a sea of black with a constant buzz of stories about James Potter flittering around. Some people were laughing at memories, others crying. A couple people had walked up to her, shook her hand and asked her questions. While she wished she could just ignore them, she tried her best to be civil and supply answers to their curiosity.

She had only seen Lily Potter once and that was back at the cemetery. She'd been easy enough to sort from the rest, her mane of fiery red hair standing out amongst the crowd. Hermione had even caught a glimpse of Harry, but after that... nothing.

The burial hadn't had the same atmosphere the Potter's household was currently sporting. It had been a somber and tearful occasion, made even more daunting and dreary as a light rain started to fall onto all of the guests. Hermione had been in the back of the crowd, alone as she listened to the vicar and watched Remus trying to comfort a distraught Lily. She didn't cast a water repelling charm, nor a warming spell, instead letting the elements assault her with the wet and cold.

She'd been highly surprised when the warmth of a jacket was placed over her shoulders, held in place by two large hands. A glance over her shoulder was all it took to relax her and she slid her arms into Sirius' jacket, while he held an umbrella over their heads.

In her moment of grief she let herself lean against the man she'd come to know as a player with deep anger issues. And yet, she felt most comfortable with him. Even as her heart beat ridiculously fast in her chest whenever he was near.

They had separated when everyone walked back to the house and Hermione tried her best to stay out of the way.

Somehow she found herself in the kitchen with a cup of pumpkin juice when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She raised an eyebrow and turned around, only to feel her heart plummet.

Dark red hair held up in a bun and striking green eyes she shared with the child in her arms stood in front of her. Lily's eyes were glassy and rimmed in red from the countless of hours she spent crying, no doubt. But her lips were in a wobbly smile that seemed truly genuine.

"Hermione, right?" Lily asked, shifting Harry to the other hip. Hermione only got a small nod in before the other witch threw herself at her in a tight, one-armed hug.

Hermione felt her breathing accelerate, the ache in her heart more pronounced as she returned the embrace and closed her eyes from the onslaught of tears. An anguished puff of air left her lips and her body started to shake, just as Lily's. "I'm so sorry," Hermione's voice sounded small and the crack made it all the more pitiful, but she couldn't stop it. She'd ruined this woman's life and it was finally unfolding before her.

"No," Lily said firmly, pulling back and shaking her head. Her hand wrapped around Hermione's wrist. "No, Hermione. Do not blame yourself," tears streamed down the redheaded witch's face and Hermione was sure her own face reflected the same. "I begged James... I begged him not to go out," Hermione nodded as Lily stared her in the eye, trying to make her understand.

"But if it weren't for me-"

"If it weren't for you Harry and I would be dead," Lily gestured to the boy on her hip with a slight lift. "James knew-" her voice cracked and she raised her free hand to wipe at the slew of tears. "James knew what could happen."

Hermione nodded and Lily led her over to the dining table, covered in comfort food, to sit down. Hermione sniffled and quietly thanked the stranger who handed her and Lily a handkerchief on his way passed them.

Hermione fixed her eyes on Harry as he uttered something unintelligible, her lips curving slightly at the corners. It was most definitely odd seeing him sitting in his mothers lap, a mere one year old, when the last time she really set eyes on him he'd been seventeen and fighting for his life. Hermione could only hope the Order was vigilant in finding the Horcruxes so something like that could never come to pass.

She had changed things considerably, but things never usually went as according to plan.

"Would you like to hold him?" Lily asked softly, startling Hermione out of her thoughts. She looked back and forth between mother and son, hesitant. But biting her lip, she nodded.

Harry shook his head and uttered 'no', not wanting to part from his mum. However, Lily soothed him with a few words and settled him on Hermione's lap, trailing a finger down her son's cheek and forcing a smile for him. Harry swiveled his head around to look at Hermione, his bottom lip trembling for only a moment before he snuggled into her left arm and picked up the side of her jacket – Sirius' jacket – and covered himself with a laugh.

It was infectious enough to draw a chuckle from each witch and the two shared a look. Hermione became fascinated as Harry studied the cloth of Sirius' jacket, seeming to think it was something special before he started to chew on it, being otherwise entertained as he leaned back against her.

"Where I'm from," Hermione glanced up to see how many people were around, before she divulged privy information. "He has a scar, right here," she pressed a gentle touch to Harry's forehead. "Shaped like a bolt of lightning."

Lily inhaled a shuttering breath. "You'll have to tell me about that sometime."

Hermione looked Lily Potter in the eye. "I will," she promised.

/-/-/-/

It wasn't long before Lily was swept away by other guests offering their condolences and Hermione snuck away from the crowd.

She tip-toed up the stairs, trying to find a place to hide away for a little while until either Sirius or Remus found her to go home. She would have left already, but she didn't want to be alone. Walking up to the first door on the right, she went to knock on the door to check it's vacancy, but before she could do anything it flew open. The bottom of her black dress ruffled around her knees from the force of it and she looked up quickly into the sullen face of Sirius Black.

Her throat got thick at the sight of him, cheeks wet and eyes red.

He'd been crying.

"Sirius?" she stepped forward, placing her hand on his arm.

His reaction startled her, he pulled her into the bathroom shoved her against the door and kissed her open mouth with a bruising force that made her whimper.

Hermione's heart jack-hammered in her chest as he pulled back and looked down at her, some sort of battle playing out behind his eyes. She knew her mouth was hanging open like a gaping fish, and she was sure her eyes were comically wide. Hermione's chest heaved and her mind was rattled with confusion.

She watched Sirius slowly lean down, his lips gently pressing to her jaw. So gentle this time she could feel the softness of his lips and the wetness from his tears. He made a short trail to her mouth, a shuddering breath leaving her when his tongue lightly licked her bottom lip, then suckled it between his own. Her hands, that she just noticed lying on his chest, grasped his shirt. Stuck between pushing him away and pulling him closer.

A knock on the door shocked them both into the here and now. Sirius regarded her intensely, his eyes significantly darker than before with an emotion she couldn't interpret. He stepped back quickly, averting his eyes and checking himself out in the mirror. And Hermione more than willingly moved away from the only exit when he was ready to leave.

Once he was gone, though, she locked herself in and slid down to the floor with a hand over her chest. She was breathing hard and her stomach was in knots.

What the bloody hell was that?

The kiss had been unexpected. Unforeseen and absolutely, staggeringly wonderful.

Merlin, help her.

/-/-/-/

She watched him leave hand-in-hand with some amply figured brunette. His hand on her arse, as she wrapped her body around him and they disapparated to a more private location. She sighed as the curtain fell back into place, turning around to come face-to-face with Remus.

She felt as if she disappointed him, by the knowing look in his eye. "Want to go home?" he asked her.

Hermione shook her head. No, she didn't want to go home. Because that's probably where Sirius took his piece of tail. And he'd most likely forget a silencing charm. Again.

"I think I want to stay and help Lily clean up," as she said it she started piling up forgotten plates. Only a couple people were left, less than a dozen, so she didn't see the harm in getting an early start on clean up.

Remus nodded and then began helping her quietly. With each second that passed she tried willing away the ache forming in her chest. An ache that would only lead her to a broken heart.

TBC.

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, you really are too good to me. I think I've been waiting to get to this chapter ever since I started writing this and now it's here! Woot!

I hope you enjoyed it and reviews are as lovely as ever!