Title: Arguing
Date: 1 June, 2010
Words: 1952
Characters: Byakuya, Yachiru, Toshiro, Rangiku, Rukia, mentions of Ichigo
Pairings: Byakuya & Yachiru, Rangiku & Toshiro, Ichigo & Rukia
Summary: You should always think twice about arguing with a woman who knows how to punish you.
Inspiration: Just something on my computer I happened across. I think I wrote this, anyway.
Rating: 13+
A/N: I've been gone for a while, and I'm sorry. However, in this time I did put up a fence, level to 71 with my little 'lock on WoW, and chase nine-month-old crawling twins around the house until I'm nearly ready to pass out from exhaustion. I'd call it an accomplishment. I am working on the next chapter of One Night, One Lifetime as I post this. Well, sort of. Haha.
The site is still up and running, and I want every one of you to join it! Please? Pretty please? How about I promise you e-ponies and e-motorcycles and e-cookies and e-ice cream, and anything you can think of? Spread the word. When you join, you're welcome to post links to the site on other websites, profile pages, facebook, whatever. We want the word out that we're hosting fanfics, and the best way is with your help!
We've created all sorts of categories, to cover all the most common pairings (including HitsuMatsu, IchiRuki, IchiHime, ByaChiru, and UraYoru, among others). Well, common may be a subjective term, but you get the idea.
The only requirement to join, as always, is that you support HitsuMatsu! (Which, if you're reading this, chances are good you do, or you will when I'm finished with you, at any rate.)
Thanks so much for all the support we've already received! Hope to see you there!
-Rachel Noelle
oOoOo—RN—oOoOo
"No. Absolutely not," a cold voice stated, adamant about not relenting its position.
"Why not?" a younger, clearly female voice asked in return, quite unhappy with the pronouncement.
"That thing is a hazard to society, and I refuse to house something like that," the first voice replied, still firm and unmoving.
"But, Byakushi, it's just so cute! Hitsu-taicho would let Matsumoto-sensei keep it," the second voice pouted, trying not to act overly childish. Even if she was still just a teen.
He worked hard to resist the urge just to yell that Hitsugaya taicho would not let Matsumoto-san keep such a creature, either, thank you very much. "Yachiru, please be reasonable. We cannot have something that dangerous living with us. I'll not have my servants eaten," the first voice, belonging to none other than Kuchiki Byakuya, responded again.
"Oh, screw your stupid servants. All they ever do is fuss because I talk too much or slump in my chair, or that my hair's a bad color. And a lady shouldn't curse, because it's unladylike, and god forbid I say that I need to have a pee instead of politely excusing myself for the restroom," the second voice, now known as Yachiru, carried on. "I say it'd be a good thing for most of them to be eaten by a hollow. Least it'd provide me with some entertainment when I'm forced to wait all freaking day for you to be done with your stupid meetings."
"If you are finished ranting, I need to return to my work. I trust you can see yourself home and dispose of that vile creature of your own accord?" Byakuya failed to miss that he was digging himself seven feet under, rather than the usual six, in that one statement.
Yachiru crossed her arms over her chest, her face hardening and gaze set. "Fine then. I'll kill the thing, because you're probably right, it'll likely eat someone," she stomped her way to the door, adding in an undertone, "maybe you," and paused momentarily to glare at the oblivious sixth division taicho. "I'm going to help Ken-chan now, seeing as I'm missing work."
Byakuya made it to his home after work, half expecting there to be a hollow looking eerily similar to the mythical Cerberus sitting in his front garden. He was greatly relieved when he did not notice it. He hoped that Yachiru saw the insanity behind her request to keep such a horrible creature around. His relief, however, only lasted until he made his way inside the door and removed his shoes.
One of his servants, a man nicknamed "Slugger" (though no one, including him, seemed to recall why; perhaps he should make it a point to ask Yachiru if she was behind it) and one of his favored, stepped nervously up to him. "Kuchiki-sama," he spoke, bowing politely in greeting.
"Yes," was all the response Byakuya gave, as was his custom.
Bowing again, Slugger gave the directions handed him verbally by Yachiru, "Byakuya-sama, Yachiru-san has made it known that you are not to be allowed into your suite tonight, nor for the next three nights. I am afraid I was unable to draw a proper answer from her as to why, but she has locked the door with some unusual combination of Demon Arts spells, and I'm afraid none of us have the ability to undo such bindings." He bowed again, looking apologetically to the stunned Kuchiki noble, and backed down the hallway.
After the shock wore off Byakuya decided that he would not stand for Yachiru locking him out of his own room. He walked quickly up the stairs, pace declaring he had business to attend to, and knocked as politely as anger would allow him to. Yachiru called from inside to ask who was outside the door. When he asked to speak with her about her insolent behavior she opened the door.
Standing in the doorway, visibly beyond pissed, Yachiru faced him, clad in his favorite skimpy lingerie. "Yes? How can I help you today, Kuchiki taicho?" she asked, anger tinting each of her words.
Byakuya finally understood that he was in trouble. Though, noble or not, he did not understand why. He knew (at least hoped) even the child prodigy would have trouble figuring it out. So, he dug himself a little deeper. "Yachiru, I do not know why you are angry, but I do believe that if you are unhappy with me those emotions are irrational and unfounded."
Yachiru crossed her arms, enhancing her breasts with the movement, and started her short spiel. "Well, for someone of your stature it should be easy enough to figure out. I thought you had to have a certain amount of cunning and smarts to be a taicho. Even Ken-chan's smart enough to know when Retsu-chan's angry and why. And people say he only has his brute strength going for him," Yachiru stated, her tone surrounded in an air of disbelief and sarcasm, "Therefore, since your smarts and common sense obviously went out the window today when you so rudely dismissed me like one of your squad members, you can help yourself to the sofa for tonight, and the next few."
Yachiru slammed the door in Byakuya's face, leaving the nobleman staring blankly at it. At least he now understood why he found Ichigo so often sleeping in one of the guest rooms after he and Rukia first married. He trudged his way as gracefully as a scolded lover could up the next flight of stairs and settled in for a lonely night in a spare room.
The next day found Yachiru sitting at a table in the mess hall at lunchtime with Matsumoto, the younger woman ranting about stupid boyfriends and the older woman lending a sympathetic ear.
Matsumoto giggled softly, stating, "Toshiro only tried that once. He hasn't made the same mistake again. Don't worry so much, Yachiru-chan, Bya-kun will learn soon enough. And when he does, it'll be something he won't forget easily. Especially if he's being kicked out of his own room and not getting any at the same time." Matsumoto smirked, a knowing look on her face.
"I suppose so. It's just so damned frustrating. Not only do I have to put up with the chastising when I'm home and those hateful old bitties are around, but I was rudely dismissed like some unseated officer from my own boyfriend's office, by my boyfriend. Urgh! I don't how much more of this shit I can take!" Yachiru nearly screamed. The fury and ire in her voice sent some nearby troops running away with their tails between their legs. Matsumoto embraced the girl lightly, trying not to giggle too loudly.
Byakuya happened to be passing by, having left his office on the pretense of taking a delivery of paperwork to the tenth division. It was just pure coincidence that the mess hall happened to be on the way, and even more so coincidence that he'd likely find Yachiru in the tenth division office. So, therefore, it was pure luck that led the nobleman by the mess hall and gave him a chance to discover just why he was being punished. An errant thought entered his head, telling him that Hisana never treated him this way. That thought was quickly followed by an "I kind of wish she had, then I'd already know what to do."
Having heard enough to understand Yachiru's position on their argument, Byakuya turned on his heel and headed for the tenth division, papers still in hand. Perhaps, seeing as Matsumoto was Yachiru's 'sensei' in all things romance and feminism, Hitsugaya could offer some advice. As long as he could find a way to make it sound like he already knew the answer, and was simply comparing theories.
When Hitsugaya answered the office door and found Byakuya standing on the other side, he simply couldn't help the smirk crossing his face. Having had enough experience with the, for lack of better description, carefree type of woman both Matsumoto and Yachiru embodied, Hitsugaya knew the look in Byakuya's eyes better than his own. Byakuya was in trouble (and Yachiru's rant earlier in the office told Hitsugaya exactly why) and Byakuya needed help to dig himself out of his hole.
Hitsugaya showed the older man in and made motion for him to have a seat. Byakuya took it, looking caught between grateful and disdained. "I've come to deliver these forms to you, Hitsugaya taicho," Byakuya said, by way of greeting. Hitsugaya nodded and waited patiently for him to continue.
After a few moments of silence, Byakuya spoke again, "I seem to have… incurred treatment most unbefitting to a man of my stature…" Byakuya left the explanation in the air. Hitsugaya knew exactly the missing details and nodded, sharing a knowing look with the noble.
"My advice is to just apologize as soon as possible. Flowers seem to help, as does jewelry or dinner in a nice restaurant. However, if you can't figure out what you've done wrong, even if you apologize, you still get to sleep on the sofa for another couple of nights," Hitsugaya advised, speaking from experience, and a note of humor lacing his words.
Byakuya very nearly gave into heaving a sigh. Instead he opted to close his eyes, in a weak attempt to block out reality. A few more moments of silence and he spoke again, "Though I would prefer to solve this… issue of my own accord, it seems I am unable to."
Hitsugaya and Byakuya spent the remainder of the afternoon becoming damn near best friends. They exchanged stories for the majority of their time, most of them involving their respective lovers and the trouble they always seemed to be in. When Byakuya left the tenth division office, near time for the normal workday to be over, he realized he had spoken more with Hitsugaya in a matter of five hours than he had possibly talked with anyone else, excepting perhaps Yachiru, Rukia, and Hisana, in his lifetime.
Yachiru, still quite unhappy, but feeling better with her afternoon spent in likeminded female company, made her way home to the Kuchiki manor that evening. Rukia greeted her as she stepped in the door, having just arrived back from a week-long mission in the living world with Ichigo. Yachiru was delighted to have some female company on her side in the vast manor, and took solace in the fact that there were two ladies to stand up to the hateful hags who made up the female portion (and the ones who'd let the men walk all over them) of the family elders.
Byakuya waited upstairs in their suit, flowers and ring in hand, having given some very serious consideration to their current state of relationship. Yachiru was, quite expectedly, surprised when she discovered the scene awaiting her in their rooms. And when the nobleman took one of her hands in his, and dropped to one knee (after he'd apologized, of course, and was forgiven), Yachiru thought she might faint.
And then, she nearly did when he actually did ask her to marry him. When she gathered her bearings about her again, she responded, "Of course, Byakushi! On one condition." He looked terribly frightened, but nodded after only a second's pause. She finished, happily, naming her condition, "You have to take my last name."
Eleven months later the great Kuchiki household was as good as abolished and replaced with the title of Kusajishi. The disruption in the tradition sent nearly all of the elders to an early (or not so) grave. After Kusajishi Byakuya and Yachiru took over the rule of the manor, it was never the same again.
oOoOo—RN—oOoOo
A/N: If I ever decide to get married, I'm either keeping my own last name or he's taking mine. Unless his last name is just too awesome to pass up (and that'll be hard to accomplish). I've also considered dropping my surname altogether and making my middle name my last name. Sounds like a plan to me, haha.