Here are a collection of drabbles. Some sweet. Some angsty. Some sad, but all of them will center around Ziva and Tony. They are all pretty much drabbles that I've written for the LJ community, NCISdrabble100. All will be 500 words or less...
Title: Letters From Home
Characters: Tony, with hints of Ziva
Rating: PG
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Notes: Drabble a day, Challenge 251 Writing
Word Count: Exactly 500 because I seem to like to drag on and on...
Disclaimer: Not mine no matter how much I wish it were so.
Spoilers: None directly
Summary: Tony writes letters to Ziva between the season 6 finale and the season 7 opener. Might be a one shot, but possibly a series of interconnected stories…
The first letter is simply a need to express himself to her in the only way that he knows how. He doesn't send that first letter however. It's simply a means to an end. A way to try and get her out of his system.
He'd sworn off getting close to any of his co-workers years ago. In that awful time between losing Kate and meeting Ziva. However, there was something about Ziva that begged getting to know. Little by little. Inch by inch. Step by step. She wove her way into his heart and his life.
So, that was how he found himself sitting at his desk late one night writing a letter to a woman that hated him. Hated him because he was defending himself and shot a man that she loved. Writing a letter that he would never send and she would never read. A letter that explained his feelings to her. Feelings that ran much deeper than simply partners.
Writing that first letter felt somewhat cathartic. Almost like lancing a long festering boil. You knew that it had to be done, but you put off doing it until the last moment. Simply because of the pain that you know that it will cause you.
The first letter simply read:
Dear Ziva,
Do you know how deep my feelings for you lie? Do you even care? Do you realize that the childish bravado is simply covering up my true feelings for you?
You accused me of killing Michael because I was jealous. Maybe that was true. Maybe jealousy had everything to do with it. I guess we will never know.
I find myself missing you more and more as the days go by. I know that Israel is your birth home, but America could be your adoptive home. If you could let it be.
I find myself missing you constantly. I hear a woman's laugh and sometimes it sounds like you. I know that it is just wishful thinking. In some ways, it feels worse than when we lost Kate. Because I know that the decision for you to stay behind was my fault. I won't ever be able to hear your laughter or hear you misuse common sayings again.
My biggest regret is that I never told you how I feel.
I sit here wondering if I could have said or done more. If maybe instead of going to your place that night I had talked to you. Would the outcome have been any different? Would you have believed me? Or were you so blinded by the love that you felt for Michael that you would have ignored anything that I said to you about him. I guess we will never know. And for that I'm forever sorry.
Until next time,
Tony
He knew that it was a letter that he would never send, but it felt good to express himself. How did he know that it would turn into something bigger than one simple letter?