Title: Looking For The Answer To Why?
Author: tv_fan_girl
Characters: Tony Dinozzo
Rating: PG
Word count: 498
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Major character death.
Disclaimer: These wonderful characters still don't belong to me, but a girl can wish. Can't she?
Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you might try, there are no answers to the question why.
Why? It was such a simple word. It consisted of three simple letters. Letters that seemed to ask so much of a person. However, there was no simple answer to that question.
Tony had looked up at the sky and wondered why, if there was a God, would he allow something like this to happen. Why he would take the woman that he had loved with all of his heart and soul. Why he would leave him without his wife and their daughter's without their mother.
He'd begged someone to explain it to him. He'd even found himself in a catholic church late one Saturday night. Looking for some kind of understanding and maybe even an answer to the question why God would take someone as wonderful as Ziva. He looked up at the statue of Christ and whispered one softly spoken word, "Why?"
Of course, there was no answer to his question. There was no sudden beam of light and no voice came out of the heavens to provide him with an answer. All it did was leave him with an even greater sense of loneliness. He'd never felt more alone in all of his life. Not even when he'd lost his mother and his father had all but abandoned him. He'd felt lonely back then, but it was nothing like what he was feeling now.
He decided that maybe God couldn't be found in a Christian church. After all, Ziva was Jewish, so maybe the answers to his question lied in another place. So, he wondered into a synagogue late one August night. It wasn't any different from the other church that he'd found himself in. It was basically the same. So, it came as no surprise to Tony that there was no answer to his softly spoken pleas. He looked up at the alter and wasn't surprised when he saw that nothing had changed.
As he walked back to his car, he felt like dying himself. Like there was nothing left to live for. As he drove home through the dark streets, he wondered if there was an answer to the question.
Walking into the house, he heard his daughter's laughter ringing throughout the house. He recalled Ziva's last words to him. She'd whispered to him softly, "I have always loved you. From the first moment I laid eyes on you. I knew that you would be the man that would change my life forever. I do not regret anything. The only regret I have is that I will not have more time to spend with you. You have become the only true family I have ever known. I love you Tony."
With that, she closed her eyes and slipped away from him. Taken by a bullet that had been meant for him. She gave her life to save his. Maybe there was no answer to the question why, but Tony knew that he would never stop seeking the answer. For him and their daughters.