Sorry we haven't updated this in FOREVER! We hope you forgive us :)

"Just sitting in that prison cell, butt naked…it can scar you forever." Jeff mumbled, laying down on the couch in the Senior commons like he was at a therapy session.

"You slipping over that slushie scarred me forever." Kurt, sitting in a nearby arm-chair, muttered.

"He has a nice ass." Nick said, in a little daydream, causing weird looks from Kurt and Blaine.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I…er…talking about…er….Oreo?" Nick stammered.

"Yeah, sure, thanks!" Blaine said cheerily, taking a biscuit from the packet.

"What did you say before?" Kurt asked, suspiciously.

"Oreo." Nick declared, twisting one but, accidentally making in break.

"…It was just, they threw History text-books at me. One guy even had a locker door!" Jeff muttered. At this, Blaine shifted a little bit but no-one seemed to notice.

"Well, Plan A didn't work out well." Nick concluded.

"No shit, Sherlock." Kurt snapped. "We just went to my old school as three creeps, Blaine broke a locker door -," At this, Jeff glared at the midget, "- and Jeff got arrested and Puck ran away. Plan A worked splendidly!" At this, he sarcastically applauded the brunette.

"We need a new plan." Blaine told them.

"I have one!" Jeff exclaimed.

"No." They all cried in unison.

"I have a plan." Nick said. Both Kurt and Blaine cheered.

For the last three days, Mr. Buttchin…I mean, Schuester, was getting really pissed off with everything and everyone. Apparently, he shouted at the piano for not being purple enough.

He was an idiot.

So, it was no surprise he stormed into Glee Club like an angry bull, looking like Vernon from Harry Potter on a good day.

"What's wrong Mr. Schue?" Tina asked.

"Shut up, you just wasted your lines for the story!" He yelled.

Tina started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, reading a bottle of hair dye, with a book titled "What stars to get tattooed on your lower back!" balanced on her knee.

"Puckerman, who the HELL is your secret admirer?" He yelled.

"What?" Puck asked, panicked.

"The school has been getting parcels addressed to you." He accused, holding up a little bear with a heart inscribed saying "Be Mine."

"To Puck," The infamous man-whore read. "Please date me. Love B xx."

Automatically, everyone turned to stare at Brittany.

"What?" The Cheerio asked, playing with a piece of hair. "My name begins with a K."

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't, Britt." Santana said.

"I learned about silent letters and found out my name has tons. It's spelt like this, K-B-R-I-T-R-T-K-A-N-E-Y." But, everyone just shook their heads at her.

"Is that too many silent letters?" She asked, oblivious to no-one paying attention to her anymore as they were all watching Mr. Schue have a nervous breakdown.

"Anyway, Puck who the hell is it?"

Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Nick, Blaine and Kurt were all stood outside the McKinley Choir Room waiting for Jeff to full fill his part of the plan.

"Guys, where the hell is Jeff? I thought he was supposed to just walk in and ask for a word with Puck?" Blaine asked, he didn't have the best patience most of the time, and he was getting bored quickly.

All of a sudden, from within the choir room, there was a loud bang that was followed by the Mission Impossible theme tune.

"Please tell me that he isn't…" Kurt started.

There, inside the choir room, was Jeff suspended from the ceiling with a balaclava over his face, trying to be a spy. Sadly, his harness was cheap and he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Nick, you didn't tell him to do that did you?" Kurt asked extremely pissed off.

"What…erm… no?" he tried too look innocent, but he was failing miserably.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" Kurt practically screamed, "You told us to act normal, and then you decide to hang Jeff from the ceiling!"

"Well I-" Nick started.

"-I don't want to know." Kurt interrupted.

Nick looked at him for a few moments, then looked back into the choir room, where Jeff was still in a heap on the floor, not moving…

"Maybe we should go and check on Jeff…" Blaine trailed off, he had a bad feeling that Jeff would probably need a trip to the hospital after they finished with this.

"Yeah, we should," Nick started, pulling three pieces of fabric out of his pockets, "Put on your moustaches."

Kurt gave him a bitch glare, but Nick ignored him putting the moustache on his face for him.

"Now, lets go and save Jeff…" Nick started pushing the door open to the choir room.

All the people in the choir room turned to look at the three boys that had walked in with moustaches on their faces. They were all getting kind of worried about how weird the school was getting ever since that whole pervert, flasher thing that happened a few days ago.

At this point, Jeff had finally pulled himself around and started to shout a Puck, "Mr. Mohawk Man," He began pulling the attention of everybody in the room again, "Please would you go one a date with Blaine?"

"Who the hell is Blaine?" Puck asked worried about what he was going to hear.

"Magical, triangular eyebrows man. Lead singer of the Warblers, likes to jump on furniture…" He concluded.

"Will it get you to leave me alone?" Puck asked slightly hoping that the answer would be no, he liked this mad guys, they were always disrupting lessons so they didn't have to do work. The balaclava covered boy nodded without saying another word, "Yeah, alright then sure, why not?"

Nick let out a squeal of delight from where he stood in the doorway of the room, getting everyone in the room to look at them again, "Er… bye then…" Nick ran out of the room leaving a smug Blaine, and a pissed Kurt in the choir room trying to drag Jeff out of the room, "BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE! I NEED TO PUNCH THE PERSON WHO HIT ME WITH A LOCKER DOOR!" he shouted as he was dragged from the room kicking and screaming like a five year old.

They all met up back at Dalton, and it looked like Nick was having his own little party, when he was the one who thought that Blaine wouldn't get a date with him, so that was kind of confusing.

"Well then Pips," Blaine started with a smug grin on his face, "I told you I would get a date with him, and now I have, I think that means you owe someone an apology."

"Well, technically, Blaine, you got a date with him because of all of us so we don't owe you an apology, you owe us a thank you…" Kurt replied, he had to prove Blaine wrong in some way.

"Yeah whatever, I have a date to plan, so Hasta la Pasta!" Shouted Blaine jumping on a sofa as he left the room.