(( a/n: Sorry! I realise its been a while between updates - christmas sales and all that. I hate being a sales assistant sometimes...))

Heart Less Love

Chapter Eight: Trials

"People have many things pent up inside of themselves. So many things they can never forget. Strange, isn't it?"

Her hands were white knuckled on the railings as she stared down at the city which was just down the ravine from where the ship had been forced to park amid the sparkle of glaciers and crystals left to ferment together over time uncounted. Her hair was a drafted grey instead of warm brown into the sky as the wind drove up from the side of the city and ran past them all quickly. Bags packed and ready for their expedition sat with straps whistling in the breezes, buckles banging together appreciatively. Others stood behind her.

It was, she told herself, almost like they had never stopped going, like there had never been any breaks between them all. Some were not there for reasons of jobs and other professional duties, but the majority stood to her back and stayed there, with her.

A lump in her throat was the sweet and bitter taste of regret and joy all at once and any tears which stood in her large and expressive green eyes she would deny their existence and blame it on the harsh and cold winds. But the teeth which drive her lips into dents where she bit down against sobs and the need to cry would give her away, she knew.

To either side stood what had become the two most important people in her life and she could hardly credit that her life had come to be dominated so much by people she would have otherwise never known if not for her strange and mysterious heritage as a Cetra and Ancient protector of the Planet.

Tifa Lockhart wore simple clothes as she tended to favour, over lace and ruffles and things that might otherwise impede her. A pair of shorts cut to mid calf in thick black leather barely wafted in the wind but the myriad straps and belts she wore streamed about her like strange traces of some black and dark magic. A simple shirt of black with a thicker jerkin of leather over it, all sleeveless made up her raiment, set off by the very sturdy hiking boots she wore laced to just above her ankles. Her hair, cut shorter to just below her shoulders was the colour of every night sky she had wished dreams and hopes on and the sparkle in the wine dark eyes that looked at her was warm and bright.

To her other side was the man of secrets and sad scars of his past, Cloud Strife. He said nothing because this time around, there was no need for him to echo the past, but she could see the guilt in his blue eyes and set of his mouth, the way he gripped the railing as a man condemned to sorrow for all his life. He wore blue; it was his favourite colour it seemed. Legs clothed in just a simple pair of trousers, military issue boots and a tank-top of knitted wool in blue with a zip that he had drawn up over his mouth to try and hide the self loathing curl of his lips. Both arms wore sturdy leather gauntlets and the left was sheathed in a wrap of even thicker leather, similar to the specialist Kevlar that ShinRa were always trying to perfect back in the days of them being a world power.

She said nothing either, she didn't know if she could fully express her mixed feelings upon seeing this place again. So without words to sully the air and sanctity of her first visit back to this place since the day she had unwittingly crawled from the waters renewed and broken, Aerith Gainsborough turned to the others who waited behind her and folded her hands before her, clad in simple white skirt and cowled pink jumper, as well as a pair of similar hiking boots to those that Tifa wore.

Yuffie, energetic and hopeful as ever and trying her hardest to cover each wince of jolting her collar bone, smiled back at her trustingly. Cid tilted his head and shrugged with a sigh, as if to indicate that they should hurry up. Vincent was silent like the grave, he rarely spoke even now, but his eyes that lingered upon her were filled with the same mixed feelings she attributed to herself, to this world.

"Everyone," she said softly, unsure if her words would carry in the winds of this place, "I am happy you decided to come with me."

"You know only wild horses would keep us all away from another adventure," Yuffie grinned, earning chuckles of reproof from Tifa and Cloud, whilst Cid took a more direct measure and tried to blow smoke into the girls face – it backfired and clouded back into his, to her amusement.

"Even if they are so far away, our hearts are all close together," she murmured.

Tifa's hand touched her elbow gently, "You know that if Barrett, Reeve and Red could have made it, they would have."

"Plus, someone has to watch over the kids," Cloud offered from the other side.

"I guess so, I just…"

What did she want to say?

Aerith shook her head, exasperated with herself and sighed, reaching for her backpack. Tifa watched her and then said softly, "Hey, what is it?"

"This place…"

"… You don't have to go in there, I could…" Tifa stopped short and then grimaced, "…do not all that much, hah. Oh well, at least I tried?"

"Teef," she said affectionately, smiling a little, "Thank you."

"No thanks needed, 'tis a girlfriend's duty to watch out for her beloved."

Aerith straightened, her hair caught into a ponytail and no longer the twisted braid whipping about her face in long tendrils of that dampened golden brown and looked towards the distance, "Hey, everyone?"

They all looked to her.

"Can… would it be okay for me to walk ahead of you guys, just a little? I need to… I…" Were those tears betraying her? Her cheeks felt a little flushed with the effort of trying to verbally express herself in this difficult situation. "I know Tifa wants to break her neck making sure nothing bad happens but… I'll stay in sight."

"…Ancient stuff," was the sound of Vincent's gravely voice and everyone looked at him from her, her knees weak and grateful for the distraction. "That city, it's not ours to trespass into and enough people have over time. Let her go first to unlock the way. I'm sure there are things in there that she wants to see for herself, on her own, before we get there."

Cloud grinned suddenly, "I knew it, the apocalypse is coming, he spoke more than two sentences in one go!"

Laughter flooded around as Vincent just lifted a vaguely curious eyebrow as if this were new to him, and even Aerith laughed as she slipped her cold hand into the distinctly ridged and metal inlaid-gloved hand of her partner. She squeezed and was almost overwhelmed to feel a squeeze back, hesitant but approval nonetheless of her harebrained idea. Her eyes slowly lifted to those lovely ones of Tifa and she smiled.

"Fine," Tifa smiled, "But not too far ahead."

"Yes ma'am," Aerith dimpled back and gently, even though Tifa was laughing, she could feel the shaking of their hands. Only she was unsure, who was it who shook the more?

The fears won't go away.

It is something that makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, on my arms and sets my heart quailing, fluttering and crying. The city of the Ancients was as I remembered it from those years ago when I last came here on the brink of winter turning into spring. It was just after my birthday that I came down the craggy ravine and beheld the seat of what had once been all the power in the world. A domed city made of shells and crystal, or luminous logs and trees where mould grew that resonated with the lifeblood of the Planet. In the city were homes that knew not the touch of dust, but were ancient nonetheless, stood as if waiting for the owners of them to come home one day.

They never will, I wanted to say, but let their lies continue because a kinder lie is better than crumbling this beautiful place and feeling I have when here.

But he ruined it, yet I forgive him.

There, on the altar beneath this crystal ruin of a city that lies perfect but hollow above the mantle of the world, I knelt there and prayed with everything I could muster, everything I had experienced and loved in this world.

It was enough.

I am content with that, it was enough.

Coming back here fills me with horrible sorrow and terrible fear, this place is home to my memories of loss and my memories of dying. It is here that I first realised I would not see Tifa again; that I had left words in my heart unfulfilled and she would never know the swift passion and delight I could have filled her world with. It was here that I knew that tomorrow was a luxury I had not been afforded and to give that to others, I would have to selfless enough to also hand over yesterday. It was on the brink of his sword that I looked up and into Cloud's eyes saw real sadness, real loss and knew…

…knew that I was going to die.

What do you say to something like that?

It was unavoidable of course. I died there, on the altar in a spread of my skirts and watched the world fade away from me. It was beautiful, the darkness that closed over the face of the person I loved, watching her for as long as I could until even my eyes could see no more and there was only warm darkness.

They lay my body into the water that I had always dreamed of and always feared, knowing and at the same time, unknowing that the water would be my grave. Days, weeks, who knows the time that passed for in passing there is no sense of time. There is only the sensation of being apart.

What I learned in the Lifestream in no way diminished me, it took everything I was and magnified it, hundredfold, until the power I was capable of wielding was incalculable.

So when the world denied humanity, when Holy took it upon itself to destroy everything I had given myself up for… I helped.

So when the sickness was breaking the hearts, spirits and bodies of people across the world… I conjured the Gospel of the Planet to rain down upon them.

…and long after, I told myself, long after those from within the world have passed, long after Genesis fades and people wither, I would be alone, remembering everyone else and everything we had done.

The fear of it all, all that had happened… this place is a tomb to the woman who used to be Aerith Gainsborough. In here, is yesterday… and I cannot expect you to ever fully understand that…

She shook from her dark thoughts to carry on up the craggy rocks that littered the pathway of curved shells, the going slippery and the people behind her laughing and jostling each other. The air had warmed up, the closer they had come to the city and now it felt like late summer and not the first cold cries of winter trying to freeze the lands.

She raked a hand into her hair and paused there.

They passed her, one by one, faces smiling until she was left behind to stare down at the city with tears prickling at her eyelids. Their backs were retreating from her and she felt frozen to the spot, rooted by her own insecurities.

Then, as if by complete surprise, Vincent came back to wait for her with that dark patience, his glowing red eyes watching her. She took her sweet time, looking over the crystal and the shell, the driftwood and strange glow that seemed part and parcel of this place.

If the Cetra had survived the Calamity and ensuing viral infection, she would have probably grown up here among others of her kind, speaking with the Planet and never knowing the small band of adventurers that captured her heart and her life.

Thinking on that twist of strange fate, she turned to look across at Vincent who was still carefully watching her and smiled, a wry twist of her mouth made no less sweet for it, "I wonder if my mother or father ever came here."

"To this City?"

"Yes," she looked back at the sprawling world she could never touch, except through pictures of the past, "I bet it was once beautiful."

"It's beautiful still, in its own way."

"I guess you are right. You know… down there… I never really did say sorry."

"You don't have to."

Aerith looked at him, "Oh?"

He gave a shrug, which was usually the extent of his motion, "You came back to us didn't you, and more specifically, you came back to those who needed you in their lives the most."

She hurried so that he was forced to fall into step with her and together they walked down the shell path and into the dead city, the party of others long gone ahead of them and she folded her arms, the tug of her minimally packed backpack hardly bothering her as it weighed loose on her back. "But I should have said sorry. I feel like when I went away, I left a lot of things behind that even now, even when they slowly come back to me, I can't ever make up."

"Then forget about the things you can't do and focus on what you can do."

She stopped in her tracks and turned to the side, looking up at the Cliffside that rose above the main building of curled shell and then to the smaller one just next to it, this one seemingly crafted from both shell and driftwood with crystal studs riveted into it. It chimed gently, a hollow but pure chime that made her eyelids grow heavy as if with sleep.

"Aerith?"

Sleep sounded good.

She lifted her arms out without volition and leaned forward, but the world went by too quickly and soon she was being held in someone's arms…

"Careful, the pathway is always slippery when wet."

"I know that," she half-snapped, pushing herself back to being upright and meeting the gaze of Arkilles, the same green gaze that she shared. About them, few people were going about their business at this time of day; it was too early for commerce to begin especially when the weather was so bad.

She straightened her dress, a formal affair of ribbons and long cuts in both tunic and dress skirt. Her sandals were laced over ceremonial socks and her headband which proclaimed her newly raised Priestess was faintly askew.

"See what you're done," she complained, whilst trying to fend off a smile, "You've ruined my ceremonial outfit."

"Bah, you've never managed to turn up looking neat and tidy to anything in your life and you know it, K'listo."

"That's not the point," the woman called K'listo sniffed sharply.

"So I was going to ask, are you really too busy to come?"

"…" Her arms fell lax.

This subject had become a bone of contention between them and she was unsure if she should open her mouth and push her sibling away forever with a poor choice of words. So instead K'listo lied to him with her eyes, with her heart, with her entire being if she must and summoned a fake, sick little smile as he went on.

His eyes were bright, "She wants you as head bridesmaid, you know?"

"I know but the Temple duties will keep me busy."

"One day, please?"

"I can't Arkilles, I'm sorry. You knew this profession would be taxing on my time when I took it up…" She looked down. "But you'd still be married, with or without me there."

"K'listo… oh and… ah…"

He was blushing; she noticed from the corner of her eye and lifted her head to peer intently. Her brother had always been handsome, the kind of handsome that gets you the right kinds of attention but it was a rare event for her to see him stammering like a kid with his hand caught in the sugar jar.

"Well," the young priestess demanded, hands going to her hips, "Spit it out?"

"We're expecting. Twins!"

"T…Twins?" It was certainly not expected on her part and it felt as if someone had hit her in the stomach, all the air draining from her lungs, "Are you sure?"

"The Healers confirmed it for us yesterday but you've been so busy. We're going to name one after you, whether it's a girl or a boy…" he chattered on as she groped for some support.

Twins.

Two children born of that union.

"Great news," she said weakly. "I…"

Thankfully, serendipitous bells rang out from the far cliff-side where the small temple for new priestess was and she lifted her head. He frowned and made a moue of his mouth, but she ignored it, so wrapped up in her own horror to see that discontent on his face.

"I guess classes start," she sighed.

"Classes? What is it that you're doing there anyway?"

She hesitated on telling; the truth was, the actual exercises would very likely offend and perhaps even instigate outright anger in her brother. So she shrugged a little and mixed up the truth of events just a little, pointing her hand to the cliffs.

"You see there," K'listo said, "There's a cleft near the top. Up there is a small shrine to the Planet."

"A shrine?"

"We record things there as well as make it the home for the Trial of the Gods. The trial is intended to help decide who can wield great power, or who cannot."

"A trial…" He looked down at her and she inwardly cursed at her lack of height, "What kind of trial?"

"That's for the Priesthood, not for you. Besides, your… lady is pregnant," she stumbled a little on that but thankfully he didn't notice, that soppy 'new father' smile blooming on his face once again, "So shouldn't you attend to her?"

"I guess so; it was nice seeing you again. Don't be a stranger!" He waved and hurried off down the street, leaving her there in mussed robes and tattered rags of love that clung to her heart, weeping for him.

A child had been the last of her worries – deep down inside she had assumed that they would be incompatible. But nature loved a laugh at those wild theories she seemed to have broken over her head each day. And worse yet, it was not just one child but two children!

"It has to be a sick joke," she murmured, hitching her skirts and running towards the temple.

A voice in her ear, a voice from months ago when blind panic had overtaken her, sweet and reasonable and beyond loveliness, asked: 'What does it matter, if there is love?'

She replied in kind to the disembodied voice as with tiring legs she began to scale her way to the chamber in the cliff, feeling as if hands were trying to drag her down, what strange lassitude: "It matters to me, because I love him and she is unworthy of him…"

Was it just because he was her brother?

Surely there was some magic at work here for she could feel the pressure of fingers trying to drag her down and slow down her paces, but as she hit the floor of the chamber and hauled herself over the lip she groaned in exhaustion.

"Who are you?" she gasped into the air, asking of the sweet voice.

A distant voice replied as tiredness rolled back reality; 'I am…'

"…Aerith…" she whispered, opening her eyes to the brightness of the sky.

Over her was leaned Tifa and her arms were weighted down by Cid and Cloud. Yuffie was hauling her backpack up the side of a cliff and far beyond the dizzy height stretched so easily. Her green eyes widened and slowly she tried sitting up with reassuring gestures to the men holding onto her that she wouldn't try and fling herself from the edge. "…oh," was all she could muster.

"Aerith, what happened?" Tifa breathed, dropping to her knees and wrapping trembling arms about the ancient, "You lagged behind and then Vincent came running to tell us that you were having some kind of hallucination again. He said it felt like magic was making you almost unstoppable, he couldn't slow you down and then…"

"Then you climbed up the biggest mountain you could find," the ninja girl groaned, dropping the backpack and putting a hand surreptitiously to her collarbone, "And packing rocks too, it seems."

"I…" She looked at the faces and then groaned, "I guess I even do their actions in the visions!"

"Visions?" Tifa said, eyes narrowing.

"Same gal'," Cid blew out a smoke ring and eyed her, "That was at that temple?"

"Same one," Aerith nodded, "Only now I know her name. K'listo, and in this vision it must be a time jump because she's a Priestess."

"Priestess? Oh, like a cult?"

"Sort of, a religious group of Cetra who were highly trained to speak with the Planet and call up all the knowledge of their forebears. Sephiroth once told Cloud that to use materia the most efficient way is to have some knowledge of the Ancients. They taught them to use it here, to maximise their talents in harvesting and taking care of this world."

"And this place?" Tifa hiked a thumb at the smooth front of rock where Vincent was stood apart from them all, head tilted as he examined it.

"This is… she called it the Trial of the Gods. Not only where they hold the tomes of knowledge but… where you have to pass a trial to gain access to that knowledge." She reached out for a hand and took Cloud's who happened to be the quickest one there. He tugged her to her feet and smiled.

"Well, how do we get inside?"

"Ah," Aerith grinned and then held up a sheepish hand to itch her cheek, "You shook me from the vision before I saw that."

"Blast it open," Cid said.

"No way old man, half-inch the lock on the door!" Yuffie squeaked, taking steps towards it.

"Knock," Vincent said humourlessly, which still managed to make Cloud laugh. Aerith smiled and looked at Tifa who shrugged.

"I'm out of ideas, maybe there's a trick to it, like at the temple?" The martial artist sighed, "There's some writing but we can't read it and I doubt you can."

"Why's that?" She said curiously.

"Well, you weren't raised with Cetra so would you even read their language?"

"Ah, I work in mysterious ways," she chuckled and wiggled her fingers at her lover, who rolled her eyes and pointed at the small set of symbols.

Aerith, true to her word, slowly walked over as she dusted her skirts off and peered, leaning in to get a better look. To her disappointment, it appeared that being able to read the written language of her forebears really wasn't one of her skills and Tifa was right. How odd that she shouldn't know such things. Her memory was still like Swiss cheese in some places…

"Aerith," Vincent began and slowly the doors gave a great shudder and a line, running like a crack along the smooth front of the wall appeared, dust shaking itself away from where it had remained sealed for so long.

Everyone fell silent as the doors continued to grate open, eyes looking to Aerith who blushed and straightened, "Hey, don't look at me."

"Someone expects you," Yuffie concluded and shivered, "Which is kinda creepy."

"Well, I hope they expect us by having warm beds and hot food," Cloud sighed and almost immediately his stomach growled.

"Hungry again!" Tifa groaned.

"I'm a growing boy!"

"You stopped growing at eighteen!"

"Not true, men continue to grow until they're twenty five."

"You're far older than twenty five, Cloud, you're just a pig."

"Oink Oink?"

"…" Aerith stared into the chasm of the dark beyond the door as the bickering continued behind her between the two dominant people in her life, and she drew a slow breath.

"Something's in there," Vincent said in his dry voice, backed up by Yuffie who also nodded slowly.

"…I guess we shouldn't be rude and keep them waiting…"

Far more bravely than she felt, she placed her hand to door and started in, to the sibilant hiss of the shadows and the fading of the light behind her, where only the simple voice rubbed raw on her nerves as if calling from her nightmares, from the yesterday she had thrown away...

…little…flower…