Matthew stopped dead when he spotted Alfred sitting on the edge of a chair with his belongings on the floor by his feet. "What's all this?"
Looking up slowly, Alfred's expression was pained as he whispered out, "I'm leaving."
"Wh- what do you mean you're leaving?"
"Exactly that. I can't stand it here anymore, Mattie. Arthur...there are major problems going on right now, and things won't ever be right until I do something about it." Matthew knew exactly what he was talking about, and he didn't feel the need to elaborate.
"He's not just going to let you leave, Alfred!"
"Just watch me." Alfred stated, rising up to his full height. Watching Matthew's eyes that were slowly filling with tears as he walked over, he reached out to caress a cheek. "I love you, Matthew. No matter what happens, just remember right now. Remember me holding you, looking directly into your eyes and telling you that I love you with all my heart."
"You can't just leave me-" Matthew's voice broke so he lowered his eyes to their feet, tears rolling steadily down his cheeks.
Watching someone whom he loved so deeply break in front of him with an expression similar to his own, Alfred tried to think of something that could make the situation better. The idea struck him hard and swift, rocking Alfred to his very core so that even his words were laced with the sense of excitement and urgent need. Why didn't he think of this before? It's perfect!
"How about you come with me?" Alfred didn't need to tip Matthew's chin up for the young man to stare across at him. "That's right. You could leave Arthur with me, join with my people and become independent!"
"A-Alfred...I...I couldn't do that," Matthew looked between each bright blue eye, his words pained and unwanted between them. As much as Matthew wanted to be with Alfred, he couldn't leave Arthur...not with how much the man has done for him. "Are you sure this is what you want? After all, Arthur cares for us deeply...!"
"Arthur doesn't care about anyone but himself, "he scoffed, dropping his hand. "Can you not see? He barely pays any attention to you! He talks to us as though we're beneath him; as though we're still children! Can you honestly stand there and defend him to me?"
Matthew remained silent, biting his lower lip and looking off to the side.
"I thought not." Alfred took a deep breath and tried to smile encouragingly. "Now come on, Mattie. Tell me that you want to join and leave Arthur with me."
Silence.
His smile fell. "Matthew..."
He noticed the blonde slowly shaking his head back and forth, still not looking at him.
Reaching out his hands to grab Matthew's shoulders tightly, Alfred shook him once out of frustration. "Why? Why won't you leave with me?"
"I can't!" Matthew nearly screamed, eyes tightly shut. "He's good to me..." All he could think of was his people and the Quebec Act that had passed.
Alfred shook his head but brought the blonde against him, cradling his head against his chest and taking in every sensation. The feeling of their bodies fitting perfectly together; those warm hands running desperately over his back, grabbing fabric here and there; the feeling of his soft, silken hair upon his cheek and the intoxicating aroma; as well as the sound murmurs of Matthew's pleas for him not to leave.
He knew that he could be better for Matthew, but he didn't want to ruin their final moments together before he left. In fact, there was one thing that he wanted to do for years, and he couldn't think of a better time to act upon it.
Either Matthew didn't realize Alfred had picked him up by this point and began to move, or he was ignoring the fact.
"Everything will get better, you'll see. I- I could talk to Arthur for you, and I'm sure he'll listen to me! He would see where he went wrong and fix everything!" Matthew pulled back from Alfred's chest and pressed his head against the pillow Alfred laid them upon, the white sheets a stark contrast from their clothing. "It could be like old times again!"
With a pained smile, Alfred ran a finger over Matthew's lips to quiet him down, small sobs escaping those parted lips as he kissed the digits against him. Both of them knew his words were false, but Matthew was ever the optimist and that was one of the many things Alfred loved about him.
"Quiet, baby. Enough talk about Arthur right now. I don't want this to be about him, I want it to be about us. Just us."
Alfred's whispered statement was felt on Matthew's skin before the two men brought their mouths together, a slow meeting that hastened from their desperation. This was not the slow exploration that they had done throughout the years, the tender kisses they shared before sleeping- this was the clashing of all the pent up emotions that have amalgamated over that time and now. The thought of separation, the thought of not waking up beside the other's warm body or be able to walk down the hall to find them made their actions harsh, rough, and desperate. Alfred tasted salt in their kisses, and he couldn't tell if it was from Matthew's tears or his own.
Clothing fell to the floor forgotten as the men needed to feel more of each other. Hands mapped each other, pressed down or caressed pleasure spots and kissed sensitive areas. Matthew kissed each 'battle scar' as they called them; the small scars Alfred had formed over the years due to his adventurous and somewhat reckless personality. His lips whispered silent prayers in both French and English as he did so, blessing and praying that he would be alright...that they could overcome this. In turn, Alfred lovingly paid attention to each beauty mark that he found- kissing the small light brown dot on his right shoulder blade, the one in the dip of his lower back, a faint one behind his ear.
It was hard to keep their mouths apart from each other for the two felt a certain magnetism between their lips. While their kisses now became gentle, their hands and bodies took up the rough pace as they finally travelled lower. Matthew bucked into Alfred's hand, moaning into his mouth but stopped when he realized the volume.
"No, Mattie. Don't silence yourself. It's only the two of us, so let me hear your voice...I love how you sound."
Alfred moaned as he felt Matthew's fingers clench around his oil slickened fingers. Ever since the idea of taking Matthew in his bed entered his mind he kept it nearby, just in case. It was a dream of his for so long that he could barely believe it was coming true.
Soon enough they grew impatient, and Matthew tried to turn over but Alfred wouldn't let him. In hushed tones he whispered, "I need to see your face, Mattie. I want to look into your eyes as I make love to you, and I want you to look into mine." Matthew nodded slowly and moved back down, parting his legs once more and wrapping them around Alfred's waist.
The breaching took time, but neither of them minded- it just made the experience that much longer. He didn't want to hurt Matthew, and his arms almost shook with the fear of tearing him intimately. This was their first time after all, and he wanted both them to come out of it unscathed. Inch by slow inch he entered him, until finally their bodies were flush against each other and all movement ceased, save for harsh panting.
"Are you alright?" Alfred breathed down to him, pressing his forehead against Matthew's as he held one of his hands tightly.
It took a second for Matthew to respond, but it followed him clenching around Alfred's length. "Yeah...I think I am."
Flashing a grin down to him, feeling his heart flutter when it was reciprocated, Alfred pulled out slowly pulled out and pushed back in; his eyelids fluttering down to half-mast as Matthew's widened. Their skin was flushed and slowly becoming sweat slickened as Alfred sped up. The force of his thrusts sent Matthew upward with a quiet scream but a forearm cradled the blonde's head so it didn't bash against the wall. He could feel Matthew's hand squeeze harder as Alfred continued on, and soon enough he felt the burning sensation start. It was almost cruel for him to finish so soon, but in his defense it was their first time.
Moving down to press his mouth against Matthew's ear, Alfred whispered in a tone that made Matthew's toes curl, but his mind barely registered the words. "Mine. You're mine. We're going to be together forever, right Mattie?"
"Yes, Alfred, oh God, yes..."
Alfred chuckled breathlessly and reiterated what he said before. "You're mine and you will join me soon enough. Just you watch, I'll have you in my colours yet-"
With one more ragged thrust, Alfred came deep inside of him, claiming the man intimately which sent his mind for a loop. His. Matthew was his, and will only ever be his.
After a minute of not moving, he heard Matthew whine his name and wriggle beneath him. "Alfred...what about me?"
Moving back onto his knees, Alfred ghosted a hand over the straining, unspent member and smiled into those clouded violet eyes. "Who says we're done?"
"What-?" Matthew's eyes widened as he watched Alfred reach over for some more oil, slick his length up, and reach behind to prepare himself like he did Matthew. "Oh..." Matthew breathed out, his eyes darkening once more.
Much more rough with readying himself, it wasn't long before Alfred had wiped his hand clean and pressed both to the bedding beside Matthew's head as he lowered himself down with the blonde's help.
"Mattie..." he keened, lowering his head a bit. "You're so big..."
Soon enough Alfred was riding him slow and tenderly, wanting to lengthen it out as much as he wanted to lovingly torture Matthew and make him writhe.
Their lovemaking lasted long into the night, and as Alfred held Matthew's body against him as the man slept, he smiled from to the slight discomfort he felt- he didn't mind the pain since it was the result of something so beautiful and meaningful between them. After staring at the scratch mark on his shoulder that Matthew made, Alfred moved to kiss his cheek and whisper, "I love you more than you could ever imagine."
It felt colder than it should have been to leave the bed after that.
When Matthew awoke, he gasped over the pain that shot through his body upon stretching, but luckily it wasn't too bad. Keeping his eyes closed, he reached out with a leg in search for Alfred but only came in contact with cool sheets. Snapping his eyes open he sat up and felt his world spin as all he saw was a bright, empty room.
"Alfred?"
No response. His breathing quickened, and his chest hurt from how rapidly his heart was beating. Turning to the pillow he found a small piece of parchment and immediately recognized Alfred's writing.
My dearest Matthew,
If you are reading this, I'm sure you know that I'm long gone. I'm so sorry, Matthew. I hope, I pray that there is some vestige of forgiveness left in you after my callous action. I know that I have no right to ask of such things from you, but I couldn't wake up beside you and take in your sleepy form only to say goodbye. I know not of what we will encounter in the years to come, but know that I've always loved you, and I always will. No matter what happens.
Also, my proposition not only still stands, but I beg of you: join me! We would take the world by storm, and no one could hold us down. I need you by my side, Matthew, and I doubt you realize just how much I mean that. I've dreamed of us living and ruling together as one, and these dreams have only grown with the desire to become independent. It must be fate, or God telling me that it's meant to be. Don't you think?
I hope to hear from you soon, Mattie, and I long to see you dressed in the colour blue. It is better suited for a strong man like you. In parting, I've left a small turquoise necklace on the bedside table. I hope you like it, and that whenever you wear it you think of me.
Love, your Alfred.
Unable to keep the tears at bay, Matthew took the pillow he watched Alfred rest against and held it close in lieu of the man's body. It wasn't until later when his eyes were sore from crying that he reached out for the piece of jewellery and stared at it, not sure if he was angry or hurt enough to throw it away.
With shaking hands he fastened it around his neck and clutched the blue stone close.
Alfred.
Matthew moaned as he felt a warm hand on his forehead and reached up to hold it, bring it to his lips and kiss the beloved fingertips, but found himself disappointed. This was not the hand of a man seeking atonement, but a man trying to give comfort. It was smaller and not as warm, but it was familiar. Turning his head as he opened his eyes, Matthew saw a worn out and tired looking Arthur.
"Hello, lad. " He spoke softly, almost apologetically.
"Arthur...you're here."
He laced his finger's with the younger man's. "Yes, and I'm so sorry I couldn't get here any sooner. My men told me what happened," his eyes hardened for a moment and Matthew felt a ripple of unease run through him. He had seen that look before, and it usually wasn't a good sign for the recipient who caused the expression. "Here, sit up for a minute, love. I need to change your bandages."
Arthur also wanted to assess the damage laid upon his poor colony, so with gentle hands he removed the wrappings and felt himself grow more and more appalled at what he saw. A huge gash bisected his back and was deeper than anything he had seen the boy endure before. Without a doubt it was going to scar, and the knowledge that Alfred caused it made his blood boil.
The sound of something breaking caused Matthew to turn, watching in disbelief as Arthur, who had stood to get more bandages, was standing above a pile of broken glass while breathing heavily. As the older man tried to regulate his breathing, Matthew realized just how dark the bags were beneath his eyes, and how old he looked.
"Arthur...what are you doing here?" Matthew inquired softly as he pushed off of the bed, walking over to him to grasp a shoulder. "You have other things to worry about at home. I'll be fine here...I have my people along with yours, so it's alright. Even the great British Empire can be spread too thinly."
A heavy hand fell upon his shoulder as Arthur turned to him, giving him a small smile. "I'm so sorry, Matthew. I am so sorry that once again you are pulled into this by that vile, pernicious Alfred-"
"Don't."
Arthur blinked up at blonde for a moment. "What?"
Taking in a shuddering breath, Matthew rubbed the back of his neck and opened his mouth to speak, but Arthur nodded and beat him to it.
"No, you're right, it's not best to talk of Alfred right now. Come, we still have to cover up your back." Arthur waved him back over to the bed as he collected some more bandages, except he stopped when he noticed a picture out of the corner of his eye. "Do you frequent this house?"
"Yes, it's actually the house I lived in whenever I was here." Matthew smoothed his hand over the fabric of his bed as he spoke. After Alfred left he realized where he was, surprised to find that the house had been spared of any damage or looting. Had Alfred remembered the house? Did Alfred remember making that dent in the hallway to stop them from falling as much as Matthew did? Does he remember lying out on the warm grass behind the house, rolling round and laughing without a care? Does he remember planting all those now trampled flowers...that they shared their first kiss there?
Matthew could remember their first kiss perfectly...their first childish kiss, and then their first true kiss. They were at Arthur's when they pressed their lips together the very first time, around the human age of eight (their mind and bodies matured in the blink of an eye with the rate of their aging process). Even then he was filled to the brim with curiosity.
"Mattie?"
"Yeah, Al?"
There was slight hesitation in Alfred's voice. "You know that girl we saw earlier? With Arthur?" Matthew hummed. "Why was he kissing her?"
"He must care for her. Arthur told me once that you kiss people that you care a lot for."
Alfred pouted. Arthur never told him that before. "He told you that?"
"Yeah," Matthew yawned beside him, leaning against the side of the house with his eyes closed so the early morning sun wouldn't make his eyes water. "He said that you kiss people you love; that it's really special and should only be shared with-"
Matthew found himself unable to finish his sentence as his lips came in contact with cool, thin lips. It was short, a small peck, and when he opened his eyes Alfred's big blues were all he could see.
"Love you, Mattie."
Alfred's eyes flared when he heard Matthew's bashful, "I love you too, Al."
From there Alfred only accepted kisses in return for favours- either getting him a plate, scaring the spiders away, or taking the blame when Arthur got angry over something. Matthew didn't mind it for the most part, only that he hated it when Alfred took the blame for everything.
It was when they were sixteen that they shared a true kiss- one where all innocence was lost and they knew exactly what they were doing. Interestingly enough, it was Matthew that instigated the kiss.
Alfred had been boasting over the fact that he was much stronger than Matthew, and subsequently prompted them to have a wrestling match in the backyard. Matthew knew that Alfred was strong, befitting their inhuman nature, but Alfred never realized that Matthew held his strength back. Alfred quickly realized this by finding himself flat on his back with Matthew's cheery face staring down at him.
"On your back already Al?"
With a snarl Alfred jumped to his feet and slammed against the teen, their bodies immobile as each side tried to push the other back; strength equally matched. Matthew faltered for a moment, trying to see if he could get Alfred into a new position but he was quickly over powered and found himself in a headlock, flailing to try and get out of it.
"Ha! How about that-"
Matthew reached for him as he let his legs give out, taking them both to the ground before trying to manipulate their positions. Due to his fast action catching Alfred off guard, he managed to roll them and get behind the blonde, his arms and legs wrapping around Alfred's torso like a vise.
"You had enough yet?" Matthew panted from behind him.
"Never!" Came Alfred's impassioned reply as he pushed back against him, wriggling to get the appendages off of him.
To his surprise Matthew actually let go and he rolled away, but when he expected Matthew to follow he found the teen on his back staring up at the clouds.
"What's wrong, Mattie?" Alfred leaned over him, blocking the clouds from sight and casting a shadow over his face. "Did I hurt you?"
"No..." Matthew whispered, and Alfred realized that his cheeks were a little pink. "I just..."
Hands lifted to cup Alfred's cheeks just as he leaned down to try and hear Matthew a little better. That aided the blonde in speeding the descent and soon he had their lips close together, running his tongue along the seam of Alfred's lips. Alfred felt his face heat instantly and his heart hammer out of control but he eagerly opened his mouth for Matthew to enter, which he wasted no time upon doing.
Moaning into his mouth, Alfred felt light headed as Matthew's tongue rubbed against his, moving from time to time to move somewhere else or back into his mouth. He didn't like it when Matthew drew his tongue back so the next time he did, Alfred followed with his own and invaded Matthew's mouth. The taste of him was heady, and Alfred didn't realize that his hands were wandering everywhere- from his face to his hair to his chest and hands.
Matthew had parted his legs so that Alfred was able to climb over his body and situate himself between them, their bodies now perfectly flush against one another. As their kiss progressed, the found that their hands couldn't keep away from each other so they laced their fingers together and rested them against the grass by Matthew's head. The teens could feel the sun beating down and heating their clothing and skin, feel the wind whisper over them occasionally when the heat was becoming too much, and the scent of nature, that clean, fresh scent filled their senses.
When they parted their lips were horribly swollen and almost numb to the touch...but that didn't stop them from kissing again when they caught their breath.
"I thought so..." Arthur's voice brought him careening back to the present, and it took him a second to remember what they were talking about. "I found this on your dresser."
For a split second Matthew was worried that he found Alfred's old letters, but to his relief Arthur had a small piece of paper in his hands with two young boys drawn onto it. Arthur was the one who drew that picture of him; he drew two pictures, one for Alfred and Matthew of the two of them together. Matthew's depicted them hugging and smiling at the viewer, while Alfred's picture was of him giving Matthew a piggyback ride.
"I didn't know you kept it."
"I couldn't throw it away. I like to look at it sometimes and think of the time when we were all happy together."
"Matthew," Arthur called out sadly and moved to sit on the bed beside him. "Everything will get better and it will be like old times again...you'll see."
He didn't understand what he said to make Matthew cry so hard.
Historical notes:
-Americans were enraged by the Royal Navy's continued violation of American neutral rights, and they were also eager to make up for their earlier failure to acquire Canada. Even more vexing was the British practice of searching American vessels for "contraband" (defined by the British as goods that they declared illegal) and of searching for deserters who had fled the harsh conditions of the Royal Navy. Many of these deserters had taken jobs on American ships and American certificates of citizenship made no impression on the British. The final straw in this perceived British arrogance was the actions of British captains to impress (seize) native-born Americans and put them into service on British ships. On June 1, 1812, President Madison sent Congress a request for an immediate declaration of war. On June 4, Congress voted 79-49 in favour. On June 17, the Senate followed with approval 19 votes to 13, and on June 18, Madison signed a declaration of war against Great Britain.
-The British Parliament in London adopted the Quebec Act, 1774 which implies the right to the French language, and confirms the right to the Roman Catholic religion and to the French civil law, and the right of the Catholic Church and the seigneurs to impose taxes. The test oath was abolished. The purpose of the Act was to encourage the "Canadiens" not to join the American rebellion.
-Georgian Period 1714-1830: Jewelry designs of nature featuring flowers, leaves, insects, birds, feathers, and ribbons. Engraved gemstones and intaglios were favored along with agates and cabochon cut stones. During the early nineteenth century, cameo brooches and earrings became popular. Garnets, turquoise, amethyst, and particularly pearls were the rage.
-Interesting side note: The common turquoise gemstone meanings are that of strength, protection from harm, psychic sensitivity, last but certainly not the least connection to the world of spirits. The other meaning attached to it is of a truth stone and it symbolizes a time to be honest to oneself. A lot can be gained when the person becomes still and is able to see himself as he truly is.
-During the period 1812-22, it could be said that England suffered more, economically, socially and politically, than during the French Wars. They were engrossed with the Napoleonic Wars and couldn't spend much time with Canada, save sending a few troops and ensuring strong leadership.