Chapter 15

Derek sat there for a few minutes, running his hand through his hair. He was still pissed, but he probably shouldn't have accused her of cheating on him. He didn't know what to do; he had to apologize to her, but he didn't feel as though he was entirely wrong in the entire situation. He had seen the way Steve was looking at Meredith, looking at him, and Derek knew he wasn't being paranoid.

He wanted to go check on Meredith. He pushed himself off of the couch and headed towards their bedroom. He was about to open the door when he heard Meredith talking. She was sniffling, and sounded sad; she must be on the phone with Cristina or something. Derek decided to leave her alone for another ten or twenty minutes.

As soon as he reentered the living room, his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he saw that it was his mother.

"Hey Mom," Derek sighed, looking back towards his room, hoping Meredith would emerge.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, what have you done?" His mother's voice rang through the phone. Clearly, she was not calling for a friendly chat.

"What do you mean?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Meredith called the house crying about ten minutes ago. I spoke to her briefly before she asked to speak to Amelia. I can only assume that you've done something, especially since you sound so guilty. So I'll ask again, what did you do to Meredith?"

"Mom, I didn't do anything!" Derek began. "Well, maybe I did, but I was kind of justified. I was supposed to meet her at a bar after I got out of work and she finished up with her project. I got to the bar, and this one guy, her lab partner who already asked her out once, was all over her. I couldn't help myself Mom, I got angry. And then when I got to Mer, he looked at me like I was interrupting something. I mean, she just let him touch her and slap her butt and everything, and I got so mad. I mean, I feel terrible because I accused her of cheating on me, which I know she never would, but he was flirting with her and she just doesn't get it."

"Derek, I think you have a right to be angry at her lab partner," Carolyn said after a moment of silence. "Especially if he knew she was engaged. But, you should not take your anger out on Meredith. I've seen the way she's looked at you over the last few years; you mean everything to her, and if she said that she didn't notice that the other young man was flirting with her, then you need to believe her. I have never seen anyone look at someone with so much love than the way the two of you do, and she wouldn't just give that up. You need to apologize to her profusely Derek. Yes, you can raise your concerns as well, but apologize first."

"Okay Mom," Derek said. "Thank you."

"Anytime dear," Carolyn responded. "Now, Amelia just walked into the kitchen, so I believe it would be a good idea if you went and spoke with Meredith."

After hanging up with his mother, Derek sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He truly felt sorry, so apologizing would not be an issue. He wasn't sure how to broach the subject of Steve without causing another fight, so he decided that it may be best to drop it for now.

He stood, and walked down the short hallway to his room. He only heard silence as he pressed his ear against the door, so he decided to just open it. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Meredith clearly hadn't bothered to turn on a light; he was able to make out her small form, curled up on the bed, facing away from him.

"Mer?" he said softly, tentatively. She shifted slightly, but didn't answer. He walked around the bed, crouching down so that they were eye level with each other.

Her eyes were open, but she wasn't looking at him. She was making a point to look at something somewhere to the left of him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks were a little blotchy, her hair falling in waves around her face. Hesitantly, he reached his hand out and placed it on her arm. She flinched a little, but didn't pull away, and Derek took that as a good sign. He ran his hand up and down her arm soothingly, sitting there in silence for a minute before he began to speak.

"Meredith," he started, but she still refused to look at him. "I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, or even get angry at you at all. I trust you with my life Mer, and I know you would never cheat on me. I'm such an ass, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. It wasn't fair of me to take my anger out on you; you didn't deserve it." Meredith was still lying there, motionless, so he decided to finish up, let her soak what he was saying in. "You can stay mad at me; you don't have to say anything and you definitely do not have to forgive me. I just wanted to apologize to you, and let you know that I mean it. I love you Meredith, and I hate that I just did that to you. I'm really sorry."

He stayed crouched beside her for a few seconds before leaning in and lightly kissing the top of her forehead. He stood up and had taken two steps towards the door when her voice stopped him.

"I would never cheat on you," she whispered. Derek turned around quickly. Meredith was sitting up now, her back still away from him.

"I know Meredith," he said fiercely as he started walking towards her again.

"Then why would you say it?" Meredith asked, her voice giving way to a small sob at the end.

"Because I'm an ass, a jealous ass," Derek said, sitting next to her. He reached out, his hand turning her chin to look at him. "Don't listen to anything I said; I didn't mean it. You can hang out with whoever you want, whenever you want. As long as he doesn't make you uncomfortable, Steve can grab your ass as often as he likes, even though I might want to kill him."

"I'm sorry Derek," Meredith gasped suddenly, taking Derek completely by surprise.

"Why Mer?" Derek asked, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Because I'm such an idiot!" she exclaimed. "I promise I didn't realize he was flirting with me or hitting on me. I swear Derek; I would never hurt you like that. I just thought he was being nice and friendly since I already told him all about you. But I was just ranting to Amelia about what an idiot you are and going over everything, and the more I heard myself, the more I realized how stupid I was and what Steve was actually doing. I promise that I won't talk to him outside of lab, I'm sorry I made you mad."

Derek pulled Meredith closer, squeezing her tightly. "Meredith, I'm not mad at you. I know that you love me, so I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I'm angry at Stu, or Steve, or whatever that bastard's name is, but not you."

Derek pulled Meredith closer again, so that she was now sitting on his lap. "I love you," Meredith whispered, burying her face into his chest.

"I love you too Mer, more than anything," Derek stated.

They sat like that for a long while, Derek simply holding Meredith and soothing her. Eventually, she pulled away from him, and offered him a small smile.

"I won't hang out with him anymore outside of labs and projects or whatever," she said.

"Meredith, you don't need to do that," Derek began, feeling guilty all over again. "I didn't-"

"Derek, it's fine," Meredith interrupted. "As of right now, I am uncomfortable with the way he treats me. It's weird, so I don't want to spend any more time with him than I have to unless he changes his actions."

Derek pressed his lips against the top of her head, and then breathed her in. "As long as it's what you want," he said slowly, cautiously.

"It is definitely what I want," Meredith nodded firmly. It was at that point that Meredith's stomach grumbled, snapping them back into the fact that neither one of them had eaten in quite a while.

"Do you want me to cook dinner, or do you just want a pizza?" Derek asked, not bothering ask if she was actually hungry.

"Mmm, pizza," Meredith decided, climbing out of his lap and reaching for his hand. "Come on, I'll find you the number for the place down the street."

Derek smiled as he took her hand, letting her lead him into the kitchen. This may not have been how he expected their night to go, but it was almost perfect nonetheless.