Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach; I'd try to wrestle it out of his hands, but I've watched enough movies to be afraid of picking a fight with an Asian person.

EDIT: Chapter edited and fixed as of the 12/16/12 update. Pretty sure I missed stuff, should get a beta reader.

This chapter is brought to you by rolling blackouts and third-world countries!

The First Guardian

Chapter three – School days and Juice boxes

"She's taking too long." Ichigo Kurosaki was not a happy camper; he didn't like not knowing where someone he had sworn to look after was. It's the same reason he made sure to call Orihime and Tatsuki whenever he got home after school to make sure they got to their homes safely, it was the same reason he checked on Karin and Yuzu before he went to bed himself, and the same reason he felt like killing several million Hollows and a bear.

"Why the bear, Ichigo?"

"Huh, see? Nobody cares about the Hollows."

The object of his worries was none other than Kuchiki Rukia, a girl who had come into his life completely by accident and changed it forever.

She was currently away to 'take care of some things' that apparently needed 'a subtle woman's touch' and she didn't trust his 'brute man methods' to do it right, so she ignored all his protests and promptly left to whatever it is she wanted to do.

"You worry too much."

"She's out there, in a town constantly attacked by Hollows, without any powers of her own."

"She's also a very experienced Shinigami, and she's self-sufficient enough to be sent on her own to watch over a whole town. Calm down, she'll be alright."

"How can you be so sure? What if she-"

"So I was thinking: I know I'm not human and probably don't change like you do, but do you think I could grow chest hair?"

"What."

"I mean, I'm not sure I'm pleased with how I look. I look pretty badass and everything but, I'm not sure I'm 'badass manly' so much as 'badass normal', you know."

"Argh! Where is she?" This was said out loud and given emphasis by him sitting up in bed holding his forehead.

"Where is who?" Came the reply from-

From where?

"Huh?"

Ichigo turned from looking out from the window, and was greeted by possibly the most unexpected thing that had happened since, well, a Shinigami walked into his room, actually.

The object of his worries, one Kuchiki Rukia, was currently sitting there wearing what looked suspiciously like one of his sisters' pajamas, wearing a completely casual look as if everything was right in the world and he shouldn't be so surprised.

She was also in his closet, which is what got Ichigo's attention in the first place.

"… When did you get there?" To Ichigo's credit, he managed to keep his usual scowl even in surprise.

"About twenty minutes ago."

"You know what, wrong question. Why are you wearing my sisters' clothes? No, wait, I have a better one. Why are you in my closet?"

"Well, I felt it would be rude to keep you from your bed again, and this closet is actually quite comfortable. And perfect size too!"

"I think a skyscraper just disappeared from in here. Ichigo, quick! Reboot your mind!"

"I… I…" Ichigo sighed, there were several other questions he wanted to ask, but he was sure Rukia would answer them all in the same manner, and that could only lead to him losing his temper.

"What were you doing all day anyways?"

"Well, I figured I'd at least try to establish an identity so I could be around you, I mean, around Karakura town without people asking too many questions. So I wrote some papers, modified a few memories, and got myself enrolled in the same High School you're supposed to attend. You missed school today, Ichigo! You shouldn't be so irresponsible, think about your future, you could end-" It was with a lot of practice from listening to Tatsuki say the same thing over and over that he managed to tune her out from there.

"And why couldn't I do this with you?" He interrupted as politely as he could, though his annoyed tone couldn't be hidden behind jet engine's noise.

"For starters, you're not exactly subtle, sneaking around doesn't seem like it's your forte, what with your bright hair. I also don't think you should be trusted with a memory modification apparatus."

"You know she's right, Ichigo. You would have probably ended up traveling to the past or something equally impossible."

"Let's go back for a second, why did you feel it was necessary to enroll in High School, I mean, you're-" he was interrupted "ABORT, ICHIGO, DON'T BRING UP HER AGE." Came the unnaturally frantic voice. "… A Shinigami, wouldn't you have to come up with something, I don't know, more fitting?"

"… I wanted to be around you. I mean, you're a new Shinigami! So that means I have to make sure you do your job right! Am I right?" She started with a low tone and a frown, and ended sputtering like the school girl she's going to pretend to be.

"She's flustered. Quick, use her words against her."

"… I kind of, uh, you know, don't want to."

"What?"

"I dunno why, really."

"Wuss."

"Okay, I guess I can live with that, but now I'll have to give you some tips."

"Like what?"

"Like what to do and what not to do. I'll tell you a bit about my friends so you don't go there completely uninformed."

"What, you have secret salute I should know about?"

"Not really."

"Well, I don't know. Keigo usually gets a mouthful of elbow, does that count?"

"Maybe."

"Then what?"

"Let's start with Inoue Orihime…"

It was a beautiful morning in Karakura town, and everywhere you could see young people in school uniforms heading out of their homes and bound for school. All of them with peace in their minds and content with their day so far.

As usual, things in the Kurosaki household do not follow the norm.

"I can walk on my own, Ichigo!"

"We're late! We have to get there as quick as possible and you can't run fast enough!"

"Feel her up while you're at it, champ."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"I swear to the Spirit King, Ichigo. If you don't put me down right this instant, I'm going to punch your teeth in."

"You'll try, anyways."

"You're so-"

"We're here."

And they were. Rukia berated herself for being too distracted with the now-proven infuriating-as-all-hells-Kurosaki-freakin'-Ichigo to notice.

"Alright, we made good time; we can go quietly from here."

Rukia nodded, still with a scowl on her face, and walked alongside him through the school entrance.

"I know where your hands were, and I know where they are all the time. Next time, you'll lose them."

"I'm flattered you want to keep my hands to yourself."

She just couldn't win once! Just once! The redness in her neck was starting to creep up to her face and would have managed it if it wasn't for-

"KUROSAKI ICHIGO!"

For that.

An extremely irate girl with short hair was walking towards them as if she absolutely detested every bit of ground her feet touched, and Rukia could only hope to try looking as angry as the girl did at that moment.

"Yo, Tatsuki." Ichigo took great pride in being able to stop himself from sweating all sorts of fluids.

"Don't you 'Yo' me you orange-haired hero wannabe! You missed school yesterday! Again! This is only the second day you come to school this week, and it's a Friday!"

"Really?"

That got her going into another, perhaps worse, tirade on him being extremely irresponsible. Rukia was starting to feel uncomfortable for being ignored. She cleared her throat to get their attention, and Tatsuki stopped from trying (and failing) to punch Ichigo's eyes farther into his skull to look at the new girl.

"Who is this?" Rukia nearly flinched; Tatsuki still had the tone of an angry beast.

"Oh yeah, let me introduce you. Tatsuki, this is Kuchiki Rukia, she's new into town and just yesterday got enrolled into our school. Rukia, this is Arisawa Tatsuki, an old childhood friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you, Arisawa-san, it's good to see Ichigo has some responsible friends."

Ichigo didn't know what to wince at, the jab at his lack of concern for school, or the extremely sweet and out-of-character tone Rukia used.

Tatsuki looked Rukia over, and seemed to think about something for a little while, and then she schooled her features and returned the greeting.

"Likewise, but call me Tatsuki, Arisawa-san makes me want to punch someone."

This time Ichigo knew what he was wincing at.

"Of course, so long as you call me Rukia, Tatsuki-san."

"I feel like I made a huge mistake."

"I feel like you made a huge mistake."

"I just said that."

"Oh? Sorry, couldn't hear you over the sound of the huge mistake you made."

"ICHIIIIIIIGOOOOOOO!" Ichigo sighed; it almost caught him off guard this time.

Almost.

All of a sudden, the two newly-introduced girls saw the face of an extremely loud guy get filled with Ichigo's elbow; the guy then fell to the ground on his back.

"This must be Asano Keigo" Rukia mused, Ichigo had warned her about this guy in particular. More specifically, his over-the-top hyper-activity, his ridiculous penchant for drama, and the violence Ichigo felt necessary to use to deal with it. Ichigo assured her he was a stupidly good guy, though. "If Kurosaki Ichigo was a TV show, this guy would be the comic relief."

"You're being escorted by two beautiful young ladies, Ichigo! How dare you hog them all! Am I not your friend anymore, Ichigo? Do you hate me now?"

"Asano-san, stop making a scene." Spoke the voice of another guy behind Ichigo, short hair, and zipped-up school jacket. "Then this is Kojima Mizuiro" Ichigo told her to keep her age a secret from him, as the guy apparently loved older women. And one as old as herself (Ichigo found out she has a heck of a throwing arm and deadly aim with a marker) that looked as good as she did (Ichigo named her reaction Rukia-red, and his Zanpakutō went on about getting a patent) was probably his ultimate wet dream. "He's totally not my type, though." She somehow ignored the side-glance she gave Ichigo at that thought.

"Don't call me that! And how can you be so calm when Ichigo is practically hogging all the cute ladies in school!"

"I wish you were more like Keigo."

"What, a moron?"

"You already are, but think about it. You would have slept with the entire female population of this school by now if you had half his motivation."

"I'm not a man-whore."

"A sword can dream."

"What's next, Orihime-chan's gonna hang off his arm, too?"

"I think she already does that, Asano-san. Lower your voice already, people are staring."

"Good morning, Ichigo."

"How did I not notice that wall standing there?" Rukia was slightly disturbed, as a gigantic man she just noticed spoke from the side. "This must be Yasutora Sado, or as Ichigo told me, Chad." Ichigo said that if he ever needed someone to watch his back, his first choice would, without a doubt, be Chad. He was an extremely strong man of Mexican descent with wavy brown hair. He had a dangerous look about him, but Ichigo had assured her that he was actually a gentle giant. Ichigo told her he and Sado shared a bond 'forged through combat' and each had sworn to protect what the other would. "They were branded as thugs by everyone else, but they had each other to rely on when it mattered." Rukia asked about him apparently seeking fights with trouble-makers, he said that he needed to practice Hakuda, and there weren't always Hollows around.

"Umm, is everyone planning to form a singing group?" And now there was someone else next to Tatsuki, who was now slapping her forehead. It was a girl with long, burnt orange hair, tucked behind her ears with hairpins. "And this is Inoue Orihime. Ichigo failed to mention she's quite… voluptuous." He had said that Orihime was an extremely naïve and sensitive girl, with a ludicrously good heart and a horrible cook "'For the love of all that is edible, don't dare try her cooking.' Is what Ichigo said, I think" he also said she was someone Ichigo had sworn to protect as well. She didn't give that last thing much thought the previous night, but looking at her now made her feel threatened for some reason.

"Everyone's being so loud, are you already starting practice? I'm not sure I can keep up with Tatsuki-chan, though, she has a lovely singing voice."

"Oh yeah, she has a wandering mind."

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Kuchiki Rukia, she's a new student, so treat her well."

"Ano, Kurosaki-Kun, how did you meet Kuchiki-san?"

Rukia got a strange smile on her face "Oh it's quite a story! I was walking back home after finishing the paperwork to get enrolled at school, when suddenly half a dozen men with knives attacked me, demanding I give them all my money and my purity!" She began with a dramatic tone, and everyone gasped.

"But then there he was, some kid with long, orange hair. He asked them 'just what do you think you're doing?' and started beating all of the thugs into submission. He was quite heroic."

"Holy shit, Ichigo. She's a freakin' genius."

"… What."

"She diverted their attention to the new school girl and put in the spotlight."

"… Son of a-"

"Wow, Kurosaki-kun! Are you going to get a cape? I know someone with a good hand at making those, he's actually in our class-" Then he bell was heard, and they all had to hurry into their classrooms.

None noticed the angry, long-haired guy with spectacles observing them from the other end of the hall.

It was lunch time, and Keigo, Mizuiro, and surprisingly Chad, managed to drag Ichigo up to the school rooftop, apparently to 'stop him from escaping school'. Ichigo felt offended, he had rarely ditched school the days he actually bothered to show up.

"That load of shit is so big I can feel it up to my knees."

"What does a guy have to do to get some support?"

Everyone else who considered themselves a friend of Ichigo followed them, and now they were sitting in separate group, one of girls, one of guys.

"So, Ichigo, what's up with you and the new girl?" Keigo sounded strangely serious, for once.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo knew what he meant, but he wanted this conversation to go elsewhere before Keigo bellowed something the girls might hear.

"You know what I mean! And don't try to change the subject! Be thankful I'm at least asking, because I kind of like-" Anything else he could have said suddenly vanished from existence the moment he felt the fear of god caused by Ichigo's freight-train stopping glare.

Ichigo was going to say something to properly kick the idea out of Keigo's head, but then he felt someone tapping his shoulder.

"Ichigo."

"Rukia?"

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Okay."

"Alone." She seemed suddenly self-conscious, and she was hiding something behind her back.

Ichigo realized this was probably something serious, perhaps regarding the situation of both Shinigami and their jobs, so he nodded and excused himself. They both walked far from both groups, and as soon as they were far enough he motioned Rukia to start talking.

"What is it?"

Rukia hesitated for a moment, and then showed him what he was keeping behind her back.

Ichigo analyzed the object, was this something she should have showed him earlier? Something that could change ever-

"It's a juice box, moron."

"… This is a juice box."

Rukia nodded, "Orihime-san got me one, and she and Tatsuki were apparently drinking from them."

"…And?"

"Well, I…" Ichigo would have commented on how cute she looked, but she was already embarrassed enough "I don't know how to use it."

...

"Oh." Ichigo smiled, he couldn't help it. He had forgotten just where she came from, she had just fit in so well with his friends and in school that he forgot she came from a place in which science took strange turns towards improving.

"Here," he said calmly, and took the juice box from her to show her how to introduce the little straw it came with, then told her how to use it to drink the juice.

Rukia did, then smiled as if she had just found the uranium she needed for her world-domination plans.

"Your analogies, Ichigo. They are horribly disturbing."

"Your face is horribly disturbing."

"Thank you, Ichigo." Ichigo took a moment to assess if his heart was going to stop beating again, and then nodded and they both walked back to their respective groups. Keigo was apparently having another fit of crazy due to Ichigo and Rukia being alone for so long.

For some reason, Ichigo didn't feel annoyed about it.

The school day was over, and the group of friends were slowly saying their good-byes as they separated and went their own ways back home.

"You have good friends, Ichigo."

"I have to admit, most of them are a huge pain in the ass, but I don't think I'd have it any other way."

"Still, you should not skip school as often as you do. Have you ever given any real thought to your future?" She wasn't ranting this time, which made Ichigo take note of her actual concern and think things through.

"My future, huh?" He really didn't know. His days were filled with fighting Hollows and improving his abilities to do the same.

"Do I even fit in normal society?"

His Zanpakutō was very silent through it all.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." A familiar, yet unknown voice spoke from in front of both Ichigo and Rukia, who turned their attention from each other back to the road in front of them to regard the new arrival.

It was guy wearing their school uniform, with long hair in bangs falling down either side of his face and spectacles.

"I've seen this guy elsewhere."

"He's in the same classroom as you, moron."

"Who are you?" Ichigo didn't like the vibes he was getting from this guy.

"I'm Ishida Uryū, and I have been watching you for quite some time, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Oh dear god, you have a stalker. A male one."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow "Yeah? Whatever would you do that for?"

"Don't play dumb with me; I've been aware of what you do since I met you. Your Reiatsu was always all over the place until recently, because you learned to hide it well. But now it has changed, and I can't say it's for the better."

Now Ichigo got closer to Rukia, more to protect her if anything happened than because she was putting on her glove. She apparently didn't like the feeling this guy gave off, either.

"What is it you want?" Rukia spoke, her tone no longer the one she used at school, this was her business voice, and Ichigo really liked it.

"I'm not talking to you, Shinigami."

"I don't like your tone, Quincy."

Now it was Ishida's turn to be surprised.

"I should have noticed you before, but you hide your presence completely, both your Reiatsu and your physical presence are hard to find." Ichigo's tone was serious, and now he was between the Quincy and Shinigami girl.

"How do you know what I am?"

"I know who your father is and what he is, so I connected the dots."

Ishida had been furious when he saw Ichigo that morning, and now that he mentioned his father, well, it took all his being not to attack Ichigo right then.

"I guess it doesn't matter." Now he was holding his right hand in front of him.

Ichigo reacted and looked quickly towards Rukia who nodded and pulled Ichigo's Shinigami form from his body before catching it.

"Damn it, he's heavy, I should have brought that Gikongan."

A bow made entirely out of shining blue spirit particles had appeared in Ishida's hands, and he was prepared to fire an arrow at Ichigo.

Ichigo was a perceptive guy in battle, and he could tell that Ishida's anger didn't come from the bloody history he had read from Isshin's history books.

"It feels more personal."

"Did you kill his dog practicing healing Kidō with it or something?"

Without warning, the Quincy fired and Ichigo managed to take cover behind his huge Zanpakutō. When he looked around it, the Quincy was now a safer distance away, preparing to fire again.

"He's fast!"

Ishida couldn't help himself, he was incredibly angry at Kurosaki Ichigo. He had been a human that somehow managed to get a hold of all the Spiritual Energy his body produced, and then used it to fight Hollows, somehow finding a way to purify their souls without having a Zanpakutō. He saw him pushing himself harder to become stronger to better exterminate Hollows. He was someone Uryū could actually come to admire. He only wished Kurosaki Ichigo had been older, and then maybe, just maybe, he'd have been around when his grandfather died.

And then he became, of all things, a Shinigami.

The ones who had murdered his people.

The ones that failed to save his grandfather.

He fired more arrows, making Ichigo grab Rukia and put her somewhere safe.

Ishida thought that perhaps his anger should be directed towards the Shinigami girl he was sure was the cause of the change in Kurosaki Ichigo. But he wanted to deliver swift punishment to Ichigo for letting it happen.

"What the hell is your problem? You could have hurt her, asshole!"

"She's a Shinigami, hurting her would have been a plus in my book."

Ichigo now put Rukia down; there was something he needed to say.

"Rukia, get behind me and don't move."

Rukia didn't like feeling useless, but the tone of his voice would have made her obey even if she was at full power.

Ishida fired again, but this time Ichigo didn't even bother using his sword, he batted away the Quincy arrows with his left hand as if they were merely flies.

"Speak your piece, Quincy, before you no longer have a chance to."

Once again, Ishida was taken aback; this had just practically shown him that his main attack didn't even tickle him, so he got angrier, something out of character for him.

"You- you became a Shinigami! That girl was the one who did it! Shinigami destroyed my people! Shinigami are just a bunch of murderers who sit in their high chairs while looking down on us people who need to fight for our own survival. And whenever we fought, you people condemned us! And worse of all, when you're actually needed to do your jobs, you're completely useless!"

"Ah, so he's lost someone due to the Shinigami" It was rather obvious now, and Ichigo would have used words to appease the other man, but didn't. He needed the other guy to learn this lesson well, and as he was, he could only get even more angry.

He sighed "Very well." Then he disappeared.

Ishida knew exactly where he was, the fist in his gut made it painfully obvious, and he double over and fell on his knees while trying to get back his breath like a drowning man.

"You're obviously very upset; I can tell you're not thinking clearly. You don't look like a dumb guy so I'm sure if you have time to think things through you'll come at me with the right intentions." Then he kneeled down to Ishida's level and introduced him to the same look that nearly made Keigo's heart fail "However, know that if you come at me with the same intentions as you did today, I will have no choice but to destroy you."

Ishida knew he meant that, but all wind had left his sails – and his lungs and all he could do was sit up to recover.

Ichigo nodded and turned around, he didn't care about giving his back to the Quincy, and he knew he wouldn't attack him. Not right now, anyways.

"Are you okay?" He asked Rukia, he knew she wasn't hurt, but he had missed the Quincy's presence for all this time and there were now things he had to think about.

"It's taken me this long to realize it."

Ichigo didn't trust just anyone, as he proved when facing the sly shop keeper, but he always thought that as long as he made sure not to give away much of himself, he had the best hand in the table. But now this Quincy shows up, someone he didn't even know was in the game.

"What else have I missed?" He wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

"I'm fine, you… you protected me… you did good enough, I guess." She didn't voice the part where he protected her, but gave him an approving nod.

Ichigo nodded back and got back inside of his body, he got up and didn't take notice to Rukia's lack of protest as he picked her up and started running towards the Kurosaki house.

They left behind a Quincy with too many things in his mind, among them a plan that Kurosaki Ichigo would surely hate.

"Let's see what makes you tick, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo was in pain, horrible pain like he had never felt before, and the girl fussing over him while scolding him like he was a child made it all the worse.

"Honestly, Ichigo, you'd think someone like you would at least respect animal life."

Ichigo's scowl only got deeper "That was no animal. That was a demon wearing a cat's flesh."

On their way back home, Ichigo got a feeling that they were being followed, the presence of what he was sure was following them came from a nearby alley, so he set Rukia down much to her silent protests, and stepped into the alley.

And right onto a cat's tail.

The ball of fur didn't run away like most cats would have. No, this one jumped on Ichigo's face in an impressive display of acrobatics and nearly shredded his face with claws Ichigo was sure weren't supposed to be so long or have such a metal-like composition.

"Something was following us, and that cat's appearance gave it time to escape."

"Stop exaggerating, you're just being paranoid. And don't take out your anger on the poor cat; it must have been so scared!"

"What could scare a demon like that?"

"Karin."

It wasn't Ichigo's face that hurt, it had already healed, but he had taken an enormous wound to his pride.

Elsewhere, in an out-of-the-way shop, a man in a bucket hat was having trouble with his lungs due to the outrageous laughter coming out of him.

Sitting in front of him was a woman with purple hair and dark skin, looking as if she would murder him and everyone else if he didn't shut up right then.

Cut!

This chapter gave me trouble, not because I wasn't sure this is how I wanted it to turn out, but because I was about 3K words in when there was a blackout, it lasted about 3 hours. Hurray for 3rd world countries!

Anyways, when I finally dragged my ass into writing it over again, I kept putting it off because I remembered I have like 20 other stories that had been updated and I wanted to read. Hey, I like reading fanfiction too, you know.

An observant reviewer pointed out that Rukia getting the Hōgyoku from Urahara when she got her gigai was a common misconception. Let's address that point here in case anyone else has doubts.

Getting it at any other point before makes absolutely no sense to me.

If Rukia had had the Hōgyoku inside of her before she even got to Karakura, then Aizen would not have let her go in the first place, and Bleach would be a lot shorter and a lot more boring.

That's just what I think with what I know, anyways. Feel free to slap me with a fish if I'm wrong. I'll take it like a man.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter; it's slightly shorter than what I promised myself it would be, but blackouts and all that jazz.

Leave a review with your thoughts and the amount of liquor my drinking game's made you have. Except instead of awe for Ichigo, let's play it as how many times this fic has made you laugh.

- Flameal out.