I want to thank everyone for giving my story a chance!
LynnO.o: I think you'll find out a bit more about the device in this chapter... I hope to keep your curiosity peaked with this update! Thanks for peeking in!
EmeraldEyedJedi: Thanks! A bad feeling? Why indeed? ;)
Ellaisintheair: Thank you so much. I'm so glad that you felt Luke was done well. I love his character and hope to do him justice.
JediMara77: Awww, thanks, lady!
aka shellybean: Thanks! I'm glad the start offered a hook. I hope chapter 2 does, as well!
21skygirl: I stopped reading profic after The Swarm War so I know just what you mean. I hope you will enjoy my take on post LOTF. Thanks!
CHAPTER 2
The lights in the evidence room were bright as Luke stepped in. He went to the center console to enter the information on Naelli and sat on the stool to start the system.
He pulled up an evidence record and began to enter information—time of arrest, weapons on the individual, personal items. Luke filled in all the required fields before finally looking down at the device Naelli had carried. He picked it up from the console where he had placed it and held it up to get a closer look, now that he was alone.
From a distance it was a non-descript object, black and sleek, small enough to fit the average human hand. There was a small screen that was dark and seemingly little else until the object was held to closer inspection. There was small and intricate lettering, the same color as the device itself, below the screen.
"Maybe Threepio would understand this," he muttered. He filled in a description of the item and tagged it with an evidence ID number. He also made a note that he had been in possession of the item since taking it from Naelli at the time of arrest.
Ready to submit the form, he looked once more at the tiny device that had made Naelli so anxious. He had claimed the GFFA was arresting him on falsified charges, but to Luke the evidence had looked fairly clear. Besides, his job was only to arrest the citizen, not to pass judgment, though this was a far step from being a guardian of peace and justice.
But a few things Naelli had said were sticking with him, and that's why he had not submitted his evidence document yet. Naelli had asked him if he could discern if he were lying and as much as Luke hated to admit it, he couldn't say that Naelli had been. The man's sense in the Force had been free of deception, though Luke knew that delusional people often seemed the most sincere.
And then, there was Mara. The key to being with your wife again is right there next to you, Naelli had said. What if he were right? What if the key to seeing Mara again was as simple as the mere touch of a screen?
The thumb of his mechanical hand hovered over the dark screen for a long moment as he let Naelli's words echo through his mind.
Seeing Mara.
Being with Mara again.
"Another universe," Luke whispered. "What did you mean, Naelli?" He had some experience with beings from other dimensions, but none that he particularly cared to remember. And no answer was forthcoming to his question. Even the Force was silent. The briefing from the CSF agents had mentioned that Naelli would use the device to escape, but they had made it sound more like a teleportation apparatus than something as spectacular as a device that could carry you to an alternate universe.
Luke moved his thumb away from the screen and set the machine down on the desk. He looked at the evidence record before him, ready to be submitted. But still, he didn't move or take action to submit it. He didn't like being lied to and he wondered if the government—specifically Chief of State Daala—really were in this for Naelli's machine.
His eyes strayed to the small machine again just as his comlink beeped. He pulled it from his pocket and answered.
"Dad," Ben said by way of greeting, his voice tinny and far away.
"Hi, son. Are you on your way back to Coruscant?"
"No," Ben answered. "I'm heading to Adumar, there's a disturbance in a settlement there."
"Oh," Luke said, his stomach dropping. Ben always seemed to be going from one mission to the next, never coming home. Luke was beginning to wonder if Ben didn't want to come home because he loved being a Jedi Knight, or if it was because he didn't want to be around his father. "What's going on? Anything I need to be aware of or help you with?"
"I don't need a babysitter, if that's what you mean," Ben retorted defensively.
"You sound like your mother," Luke remarked, trying and failing to chuckle at the statement.
The silence on the comm was deafening and for a moment he wondered if the call had been disconnected. "Are you—"
"I'm here," Ben said, before he could finish. "Look, Dad, I just wanted to let you know where I was going to be. I'll see you."
"Wait, son, don't hang up," Luke said. His voice sounded desperate, even to himself. "Ben, I…" He trailed off; there was too much to say but no adequate words would come. "May the Force be with you," he said, finally.
"Sure," Ben said, and again there was silence. Luke knew they had been disconnected for real this time. He let out a sigh, holding his hand to his forehead in defeat. His relationship with Ben was strained and had been so since Mara had died. Since before then, if he were honest with himself. All of the issues with Jacen and Ben's fear of the Force had served to drive a wedge between him and his only son.
It was ironic that he would have this kind of broken relationship with his son when all he had wanted as a young man was to have a relationship with his own father. He had fleeting moments with Anakin, and had carried those moments in his heart. He'd been sure that would be the kind of father to his children that his own father had never had the chance to be.
But things hadn't worked out in that manner. The chaos in the galaxy and the turmoil at home denied that kind of relationship to him and to Ben. It was rare for Ben to be home and even when he was, there was always distance between them. Sometimes Ben would flash him a look full of anger and hurt that would make Luke's stomach drop. It was the same look that had once graced Mara's face after she learned of his failure at Byss.
She had tried to hide those emotions from him, but in less guarded moments he had seen the look on her face, and had been ashamed. After they had bonded in the Force he'd felt her conflicted feelings about what had happened between him and the reborn Emperor. But even then they had not discussed it, letting the power of their bond speak the words they couldn't say. He had no such luxury with Ben, and their relationship suffered for it.
If only Mara were still alive, still the center of their family. She and Ben were so similar: tough yet vulnerable, and quick of wit. Luke had prided himself on being able to keep up with Mara, but found it more difficult to keep up with his son, especially now that he seemed to have inherited his mother's ability to build up walls and keep Luke out.
The evidence document in front of him chimed, a pop-up window warning that the document was not yet saved to the system. Luke pressed the screen to allow him more time, and again picked up the device that Naelli had claimed could do such fantastic things. Could he really see Mara again? Maybe not his Mara, but a Mara… Any Mara. Luke closed his eyes and pictured his wife, not as she had looked on the last day he saw her, but how she had looked when they married, so strong and capable, beautiful and fit. Could she still be out there somewhere, perhaps even as alone as he was? Naelli had claimed that the device could jump to innumerable universes. Would she be married to him in these other universes? Or could there be universes where they had never met, never loved or married?
He tried to imagine a Mara without him, a Mara who didn't know his love, and wondered what it would be like to find her, to see her again, even if she was not exactly his wife.
Ben didn't need him. That thought ran constantly through his head. But maybe Mara did.
And he was selfish enough to admit that he needed Mara. He missed her more and more each day, the ache in his heart growing deeper as each day passed. The giant hole she had left in his life and heart was no closer to mending today than it had been in the long days after her death. If time healed all wounds he would need more time than the galaxy had to offer to heal this one.
Besides, his selfish desires couldn't be helped. He couldn't use this device. He couldn't leave his universe and son behind for…what? A vast unknown, on only the word of a criminal and, perhaps, a murderer?
The idea of a Mara out there in that vast unknown was intriguing, however. A Mara untouched by the Emperor's long reach, perhaps, or a Mara who had never left behind the life of a Master Trader. The possibilities seemed endless.
He began to type extraneous details into the document, his mind elsewhere. The door behind him opened and the security droids from the landing pad entered. He turned in his seat. "Yes?"
"Master Skywalker, have you entered the prisoner's personal effects into the system?"
"I'm finishing that now." He pushed down the guilt over the thoughts that had just plagued him.
"Word has come from the Executive branch and the Chief of State herself that the item on Citizen Naelli's person is too dangerous to be stored here. She asks that you personally guard it at the Jedi Temple."
The Force swirled around him at the droid's words, but he let none of it show on his face. "Should I finish with the report?"
"Yes, a report must be submitted for each item, Master," the second droid said. "And here is an evidence bag so that we can ascertain chain of command."
Luke placed the device in the bag and sealed it, listening as the vacuum seal hissed closed. His foolish thoughts of Mara and what she may be doing in other realities disappeared with the sound. Finishing his report, he nodded to the droids and signed the evidence out. Then he headed home with the device heavy in his hand.
.
.
Heading out of CSF headquarters, Luke stepped onto the darkness of an empty skywalk. It was too late to go to the Temple tonight, but he would meet with the Master's Council in the morning to discuss guarding the item. The Temple was equipped for such an assignment, though it seemed somewhat strange that the government would not have its own vault to hold such an item. Upon hearing Daala's orders, the Force had given him a faint sense of something that he couldn't yet understand. It was not a sense of fear or dread but more of a sense of change, and he wasn't quite sure what that meant.
Once home, he stowed the device in his personal safe and took a shower. He grabbed a quick instameal and ate it automatically, not really tasting any flavor or deriving any enjoyment from the act.
The act. That was the rub. That's what he felt his life was now, an act. He had known that he was depressed after Mara had died, and that he had acted rashly, skirting the Dark Side in the process. He had also known what Mara would have said and done to him had she been there. She would have been furious, but then, part of him was furious with her.
As much as they had been through together and as much as they had meant to one another, she had left him in the middle of the night with barely a note. He had thought they were past that, beyond her leaving him with little explanation.
Gone hunting for a few days. Don't be mad at me, farmboy…
But he was mad at her. Part of him was, anyway. The other part of him could see why she had done what she did, could see how her past had driven her to react in the way she had to the threat to their son. He could understand why she had done it.
That understanding didn't stop him from hurting.
Everyone kept telling him that it would get better, that time would ease his broken heart. It hadn't happened that way, though. The pain had not dulled, much less faded. He was no stranger to death or loss, but the loss of Mara completely eclipsed any other loss he had faced. She had been so much a part of him, his other half. Every thought, every glance, every touch between them had been electric, their bond magnifying their intense love and attraction.
He couldn't think of seeing anyone else, even if Leia, well-meaning and loving Leia, had tried to suggest the idea. He had been harsh in his answer, asking her to imagine Han dead and her dating another man, and she finally dropped the idea. But it wasn't just Leia. One of the older Jedi adepts on Ossus, Leniya, had taken to sitting with him at meals in the cafeteria, and though she had a lovely smile and a sweet personality, she wasn't for him. He was married to Mara still, and continued to wear his wedding band. Only now her band rested right next to his as he wore it on his smallest finger. When he pledged his life to her, he had meant it. Their vows had said they would be together until death parted them. He had always imagined that they would go out together, had even thought that perhaps the bond would not allow one to live if the other died.
He finally left Ossus for Coruscant, feeling at home on neither planet. Home had been with Mara, and that was now lost to him completely.
Finishing his bland meal, he tossed the container in the trash and headed into the bedroom, flopping down onto the bed, not bothering to change into night clothes or to take off his utility belt. He stared up at the ceiling, trying hard not to think about the small machine in his safe. He let his eyes drift over the nonsense pattern in the paint on the ceiling, so different here in this apartment than the ceiling in the Temple had been.
Mara had never been in this apartment.
They had lived in a suite at the Temple before she had died, and had kept a suite on Ossus as well. But he couldn't bring himself to stay at either after her death. He bought a new apartment on Coruscant when he'd returned there permanently after her death, moving from the Temple. Even though he was at the Temple most of the time he was on planet, at night he preferred to go back to his apartment alone. It was small and just right for him, though he kept the second bedroom ready for Ben. The Shadow was really more of his home. Mara's spirit seemed almost palpable there. When he was on her ship it was almost as if he could turn fast enough and catch her turning around a corner, the red tail of her braid following after her.
Swinging up on the side of the bed, he went to the closet and pulled out a duffle bag, searching through it until he found a small package in the bottom of the bag. He pulled it out and returned to the bed, carefully unwrapping the precious item and setting it down next to him. It was a braid of Mara's hair, her beautiful hair, so unique. Red hair was common enough in the galaxy, but not this hair, shot through as it was with golden strands. Even when he had first seen Mara, all those years ago back on Myrkr, the golden flame of her hair had mesmerized him. He had snagged this braid when she'd once cut her hair, before the Vong had invaded the galaxy and she had become sick.
If Mara were there she would have laughed at him or called him maudlin for lying in the bed staring at a piece of her hair. They had once caught a program on the HoloNet about an ancient queen who had mourned her husband's passing and had drank of his cremated remains, wanting to have a part of him always inside of her. Mara had laughed and snorted, saying that surely the queen had only expelled out her husband within the next few days. But Luke had claimed the action romantic and bittersweet. Mara had rolled her eyes at him, but smiled indulgently. Then they laughed about it together, hopeful that neither of them would ever face that sort of situation. And if they did, Mara had said at the time, please don't drink my ashes.
The thought of that still made him smile. Even if he had wanted to drink her ashes, her body had disappeared and all that was left of her was this small bit of her hair, the hair he had run his fingers through and caressed. Ben had her hair, and sometimes complained about it, buzzing it down short so that it didn't seem as vibrantly red.
Even if they were not close, it was a comfort to him to know that a part of Mara was still out there in the galaxy. Ben was so like her. That thought should have given him comfort, but it almost pained him instead. Because Ben, being so like his mother, especially knew how to cut him out of his life. He had to admit that it hurt, but he knew that it was mostly his fault. It just seemed there was no way to fix the situation, especially without Mara, who understood Ben in a way that he could not.
Again, his thoughts strayed to Naelli's device in the safe. Would it really lead him to Mara? Of course, she wouldn't be his Mara…
Eyeing the safe, he again got out of the bed and walked to it, palming it open to retrieve the item. Clutching Mara's hair in one hand and the bagged device in the other, he walked out into the common room and sat on the couch, looking at both.
The machine was dark and silent, and Luke realized that he didn't even know how to use the item, even if he did want to jump dimensions. He pulled open the sealed bag, squashing a niggle of regret at breaking the chain of command, but he wanted a closer look at it. He ran his fingers over the smooth edges. Naelli had given him no real instruction and there certainly wasn't a guidebook. He let his mind backtrack over the talk with Naelli and realized that all he had really said was that the device needed twenty-four standard hours to recharge between each jump and that he had already programmed in his next jump. He wondered where the con artist had obtained such a powerful instrument, and remembered Naelli's fervent words that he had not murdered the woman he was accused of murdering, and that the government merely wanted this device.
But if the government did want the device, then why did Daala ask Luke to keep it in his possession? In fact, by sending the device for safe keeping by the Jedi, Daala was insuring that no one would be able to look at it or use it. As the guardians of the item, the Jedi wouldn't let it fall into unstable hands.
Unstable hands. He smiled wryly to himself and looked down at his own hands, one holding the mysterious machine and the other a lock of his dead wife's hair. He was sure there was a joke there, but couldn't quite come up with the punch line. He lifted Mara's hair to his mouth and kissed it, and in that moment the Force shifted around him, moving him into a dreamlike state that he had experienced many times before. It was a vision. He saw Mara, looking as beautiful and alive as she had the last time he saw her. She was right in front of him, her eyes so clear and green. She seemed to look into his very soul as she said, "Doubt will only hold you back…"
Serenity flowed around him with those words and he felt a smile lift his lips in response. She'd always known just what to say to him, how to cut through the layers to find the simple truth he could have easily missed. He basked in the presence of her, so real…
The vision began to swim around him. Mara faded into darkness and he reached out a hand to her. "No!" He fought and tried to keep the vision corporeal, but it was gone and he was alone again on his couch, shaken. He shook his head to clear it, wondering at what he had just witnessed. Was this the Will of the Force? He had, after all, the means to see Mara again. The vision seemed to push him in that direction, the Force swirling around him frantically. It would only be for twenty-four hours. And to be in her presence again would surely apply a balm to his broken soul.
The Force always seemed to lead him in her direction, but he felt a flash of guilt as he thought of their son, so far away. But he would be back before Ben even realized he was gone, and that made the idea easier to bear. He looked at the innocuous device in his hand a feeling of nervous excitement broke out over his skin as he made a decision.
Thumbing the device on, he took a moment to look at the strange letters and code that flashed on the screen. He wondered where Naelli's programmed jump would take him but at that moment, with the Force vision fresh in his mind, any place seemed good enough.
Taking a deep breath and centering himself with the Force, he pressed the screen and waited to see what would happen.