AN: I'm sorry, everybody, about the wait, but I've been laid out with the flu. Hopefully this will more than compensate :-D I can't thank everyone enough who has reviewed and followed this one, it makes this such a fantastic fandom to write for! Special thanks to "purplangel" for pointing out the breathing tube, I should know that, recently watched my mother-in-law go through heart surgery.

Enjoy, and review if you have nice things to say, or constructive too, I welcome both. Will be one more chap after this I think, then I'm going to start a new Castle idea so stay tuned :-D

The Ward

The next morning Kate was awake early, well before Castle. It was his third day in ICU and the doctor had come in during the early hours and removed his breathing tube, his lungs were doing well, thank god he wasn't a smoker. The doctor came in and talked about his progress, if he could breathe comfortably on his own steadily then they would look at moving him into a ward in the afternoon. When Castle woke up around seven he considered speaking to Beckett and then decided to pick up the stack of papers that were sitting next to his bed that either Alexis or Martha had brought in for him. The papers contained final changes for Frozen Heat in them before it went to print, which Gina had managed to push back by a couple of weeks or so due to the shooting.

"Good morning Castle." She addressed him, and his response was a raised eyebrow and a turn of his pages. "So they're moving you into a ward this afternoon. That's good news. It must feel better having that tube out?"

His silent treatment carried on this way for half an hour and Kate sat there and took it. At seven thirty Alexis came in to see her dad before heading off for her internship. She walked briskly into the room and stopped short in the doorway when she saw Kate was still there.

"Hello, Alexis." Kate offered but instead of a response Alexis walked straight over to the bed.

"Hi Dad." She leant down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hello sweetheart." He responded very warmly. Kate excused herself and walked out of the ICU and heard Alexis say "What's she still doing here? She's not even family" as she did so.

Kate left it until Alexis left at eight to re-enter Rick's room. She waved her cell at him. "I'm gonna head into the Precinct, Gate's is on my back. If I want any more time off from work I need to go apply for it, so if there's any point in asking for some more time off...then I will." She studied his face carefully but he didn't give anything away. "Alright, well I'll see you this afternoon once you're settled into the ward. Gates also wants to talk to me about why you were at the suspect's questioning when you weren't even working the case." She was trying to push his buttons and when it didn't work she raised her voice a little. "Why were you there Castle? One minute you won't return my calls and the next you're showing up unannounced and getting shot!" She threw her arms up exasperated.

"I showed up because I thought we would just do what we always do. Something will happen between us, and then we'll pretend like nothing has changed, everything goes back to the way it was. I showed up to the precinct, found out you were on a case so I went to meet you there."

"Are you serious?" How is it that she can read just about every criminal in New York City when they're inside her interrogation room but when it comes to this man she can't crack him?

"We've been locked in a freezer, a sinking car in the Hudson, you've been shot, I've been shot, you're apartment was blown up while you were inside it, I've been held hostage during a bank robbery...that's just to name a few." Castle's voice stayed calm and steady the whole time, he showed no emotion.

"I'll just tell Gates that I have no idea why you do what you do. It's not exactly a lie. I'll see you later."

She knew he had a point, her history with Castle had been complicated at best. All Kate wanted to do know is fix it, lord only knows how she was supposed to do that.

Kate knocked on the door of Captain Gate's office and poked her head around the doorway.

"Excuse me Sir?"

Victoria Gates looked up from her stack of paperwork.

"Ah, Detective Beckett, please, come in."

"I realise this is inconvenient but I would really appreciate some more time..."

"I want to know why Mr Castle was at my murder suspect's house." Gates cut her off.

Kate opened her mouth to answer but Gates got in first. "I want to know how the situation escalated so quickly that bullets were fired, and I want to know why a civilian would take a bullet for a police officer who has sworn an oath to protect New York City."

Kate opened her mouth again but Gates jumped in once again. "Think very carefully before you answer Detective."

"Sir, Castle may be a civilian, he might not carry a badge but he is my partner, and if the situation was reversed, I would put myself in between him and a bullet every time."

"Explain to me why there were shots fired."

"Sir, Detectives Ryan and Esposito should have completed their incident reports by now."

"I want your version."

"We went for a routine questioning of a suspect, if he gave us the answers we were looking for we were then going to arrest him and bring him in for an interrogation. Unfortunately we didn't get that far and the suspect pulled a gun mid-questioning."

"I'm still confused as to how a suspect could pull a gun on three police officers without any of you noticing in time to pull your own weapons."

Gates had a point there. It had all happened so fast and Beckett tried to think back over it carefully.

"The suspect was standing behind a desk, and we were all standing on the opposite side, I heard footsteps entering the room from a door behind us. I turned to look just for a moment, but before I saw who it was I heard Esposito yell for the suspect to "freeze" I looked back and saw the gun. That was all I saw, for a good moment or so and then somebody pushed me out of the way. It wasn't until I saw Castle fall that I realised the footsteps I had heard were his."

"Why was he there?"

"I don't know why he showed up."

Gates folded her hands on top of her desk in a no-nonsense manner. "Are we going to have a problem Detective?"

"Excuse me?"

"Mr Castle didn't show up here for two weeks and then magically he decides to show up out of the blue, I understand the two of you had some sort of quarrel."

"I'm not sure where you're going with this."

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you that romantic relationships between two of my people is unconventional. They put lives at risk and I have no room for them in my Precinct. Do I make myself clear?"

Beckett was shocked but she tried to keep her facial expressions in check. "With all due respect Captain, I'm not that foolish, and I guess it's a good thing that you don't consider Rick one of your people."

"Rick?" Victoria Gates didn't miss a beat.

Shit..."Sir, do I have permission to take leave or not?"

"Permission granted Detective, the forms are already sitting on your desk waiting to be signed, oh and wish Mr Castle a speedy recovery."

"Thank you." Beckett couldn't get out of her office fast enough.

As she got out into the bullpen Ryan and Esposito walked up to her.

"Hey, how's he doing?" Ryan asked.

"They're moving him to a ward this afternoon, so the two of you should go and visit, I'm sure he'd like to see you."

Esposito noticed her avoidance of actually answering Ryan's question. "And how are you? The two of you work things out?"

"That's something you'll have to ask him about."

"I'm asking you."

"I don't know!" She snapped at him, but immediately regretted it. "Alright?" Beckett sighed. "I'm sorry. Look I have to go, but I'll fill you both in when I get a chance."

Beckett took the opportunity to go home and think about things. It felt like everybody was trying to push her and Castle together, romantically, hell even Gate's had noticed. They may love each other, but sometimes that love isn't enough. He was trying to make her jump through hoops at the moment, maybe she deserved it, but he's the one who just showed up at the suspect's house. She had a nap, and a shower before driving back to the hospital.

Beckett found Castle's ward fairly easily and bumped into Martha in the hallway.

"Martha, how is he?"

"Richard is good, actually I'm glad you're here, let's go and have a chat, woman-to-woman."

Beckett found herself becoming increasingly anxious as Martha led her to the hospital cafeteria. The two women got a coffee each and sat down at a table.

"Martha, I can't thank you enough for getting me into ICU the way you did."

"Stop, please, dear." The older woman reached over and touched the girl's hand, silencing her.

"What's this about Martha?"

"My son is stubborn, I'll give him that much. Please, don't give up on him now. I know he's being rather distant towards you."

"He'll barely speak to me. He's angry, I know that."

"Richard came home that night, after he had been to your apartment. I knew he was supposed to have been at his party so I asked him what he was doing. He told me, about what you had said, that you remembered your shooting. He was a mess."

"Martha..." Kate tried to cut in, explain, but Martha continued.

"I let him mope around for a day or so, thinking he would work through it on his own. After one week he would snap at me if I brought your name up, but after two, I told him to wake up and smell the coffee. The woman that he has been waiting for, for the past four years had finally admitted that she feels the same way and he was sitting on the couch sulking. I made him realise he was going to lose the best relationship he had ever had."

"And then what happened?"

"I told him to go get you! That's why he went to the precinct the other day, any other story he tries to spin you is rubbish."

"Then why is he acting like he can't even look at me?"

"I think the problem is now that he's angry with himself. He was talking to me before. He knows he distracted you at the scene of the shooting, you couldn't pull your gun and he pushed you without hesitating. You had always told him that one day he would find himself on the wrong end of a gun which is why you used to handcuff him to your car. He's blaming it on himself, but taking it out on you."

Kate was smiling so wide by now, trying not to laugh. "But that was so long ago. Castle's come so far since then, yes I used to handcuff him to my car but that's before he knew any better, and for his own protection. Now, I feel...strange if he's not with me during an arrest." She felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. "Does Alexis know any of this?"

Martha frowned. "No, and that girl needs a talking to."

"I understand why she's acting the way she is. I know how much Rick means to her, he's her Dad. I lost my Mom, if Rick was killed, because of me...I would hate me as well."

"Alexis needs to accept the fact that this is Richard's choice, not hers. And if the two of you decide that you want to take your relationship further, then she will need to deal with that too."

"Martha I..." Kate was turning red now.

"Oh now, I've seen the way you two crazy kids look at each other."

"We do have a lot to talk about." She tried to use a tone to let Martha know not to get her hopes up, but Castle's mother would have none of it.

"Then go get cracking." Martha waved her arms about, ushering Kate to head back down the hall towards her son's room.

As she walked down the hospital corridor, Kate couldn't stop smiling. She was better prepared now and was not going to leave his room until they had sorted this mess out.

"Hey Castle." She greeted him cheerfully as she sat down beside his bed.

"Beckett." His tone was mildly friendlier but not by much, he was still trying to be cross with her.

"I've just had coffee with your mother, which was...interesting." She picked her choice of words carefully.

"Oh yes, what did she have to say for herself?"

She reached over and touched his arm. He tensed up, but didn't pull away.

"Rick, this wasn't your fault. Blame the guy that pulled the trigger, not yourself. You saved my life...again. What are we up to now, fifteen times you've saved me?"

"That's what you were talking about?" He wasn't letting her off that easy.

"If I had just come clean with you months ago, we wouldn't be in this situation, but if I had, I wouldn't be in the position to tell you that your feelings are reciprocated."

"You've only just decided that you love me, a couple of weeks ago?" Castle was sceptical.

"No of course not." What was wrong with her? Kate's feelings were slipping out before she could mentally grab hold of them. "I fell in love with you a long time ago, I just never wanted to admit it to anyone, let alone myself. The timing was never right either, when you left to go to the Hampton's for the summer, I broke up with Demming so I could take you up on your offer but you'd just gotten back with Gina.""

"Seriously, you broke it off with Demming to come to the Hampton's with me?"

She nodded. "And then I started seeing Josh..."

"Don't remind me."

"And then of course the whole thing happened with Montgomery, and my Mom's case, I was in no state to start anything."

"But you're magically ready now?"

"I had to pass a psych eval to be allowed back to work after my shooting, but I kept going back to see my therapist. He's been helping me work through a lot of issues, especially after that case with the sniper. I've come a long way Castle."

"I know you have Kate."

She smiled, that's the first time he had used her first name since he had woken up.

"I thought you didn't want to try anything until after you closed your Mom's case. I don't want to push you, I've waited this long I can keep waiting."

Kate took a deep breath. "My Mom's case might never get closed. I've had to accept that. I don't want to miss out on living my life because I'm waiting for something that might never happen."

"So what now?"

"I was thinking that once they discharge you, we could go away for a couple of days, have some time by ourselves, see if we can make this work without wanting to kill each other?"

"I think that's a great idea."

Kate climbed up onto the empty side of his hospital bed and draped one arm over his chest, hugging him. "But for now I just want to make the most of the fact that you're still alive."

He hugged her back, tightly. How long had they been waiting for this? "That's thanks to you I hear, prolonged CPR, you didn't give up on me."

"Not a chance. You forgot the tiger by the way, in your earlier list of near-death experiences."

"So now who's keeping score?" He teased.

They stayed like that for hours until Kate began to drift off to sleep. Castle nudged her.

"Hey, go home, get some rest, I'll still be here in the morning."

"And nothing will have changed, right? I know you have a daughter who won't approve of this."

"Alexis will come round. I'll talk to her. But as for you and me, Kate, we've taken that step, no turning back now. Promise me?"

"I promise." She smiled.

He kissed her on the forehead gently. "Go home."

"Kay...Castle" She really was sleepy. "See you in the morning?"

"Always."