Chapter Twenty Eight

Charlie sat as close to the window and as far away from Joey as she could manage. Joey glanced worriedly at her, sighing heavily as she started the car.

"This isn't a good time to tell you I can't drive, is it?" she said.

Charlie looked alarmed and angry.

"Sorry," Joey said quickly. "Bad joke."

She pulled out of her parking space and out towards the exit of the campus.

"You are insured though, aren't you?" Charlie asked nervously.

"Um..."

"Great!" Charlie snapped, throwing her hands up in the air. "Now I'm breaking the law by being in the car with you. Thanks a bunch, Joey. I was better off on the bus."

"It's double the journey," Joey pointed out. "You need to get to the hospital as quickly as possible, don't you?"

Charlie nodded and sighed heavily. She leant back against the window and closed her eyes, feeling sick.

"What's wrong with her?" Joey asked.

"Do you care?"

Joey jerked her head to face Charlie before forcing her eyes back on the road. The last thing they needed was an accident.

"Of course I care," she said bitterly. "I love Ruby. You know that."

"I thought you loved me too so clearly I'm not a good judge of feelings."

"I did love you," Joey said. "I still do. And I wish there was a way that we could work things out."

"Well, we can't," Charlie snapped. "Get over it. I have."

Joey resisted making a comment. Now probably wasn't the time.

The next half an hour continued in awkward silence. Charlie looked out of the window and Joey focussed on the road ahead.

"Charlie..." she ventured, turning right and aware that they would be at the hospital in twenty minutes at least.

"I don't really want to talk to you," Charlie replied.

"You don't have to," Joey said. "Just listen?"

Charlie was struck by the hope in her former lover's voice. She swallowed and reluctantly turned her head, allowing Joey the space to speak. Joey took a deep breath and tried to relax her death grip on the steering wheel as nerves began to take over. Perhaps trying to have this particular discussion while she was driving wasn't such a good idea.

"I was a very different person when I made that stupid bet with Brax," she ventured.

"That stupid, hurtful bet that cheapened me to a few hundred dollars," Charlie interjected.

"That stupid, hurtful bet that cheapened you to a few hundred dollars," Joey agreed. "I don't actually remember making it, except that it was on a night that you'd been really rude to me, to all of us. I assume I started it as a joke and didn't expect Brax to make me follow through."

She glanced at Charlie out of the corner of her eye but couldn't read her expression.

"Then in the morning, I tried to take it back but he wouldn't let me," Joey explained. "I was hungover and you walked into the kitchen and you were rude to me again. I guess I just snapped. You'd been so indifferent to all of us and I didn't understand why at that point. I didn't take the time to get to know your heart. I just thought you were mean and it didn't matter."

Charlie swallowed. Joey's words hit home. She had been particularly unpleasant when she'd first moved into the Penthouse. She knew that. And all the while she and Joey had dated, she'd tried to make up for it. Now, she knew she had shut down again. The one time she'd been brave enough to let someone in, she'd got hurt. And she was afraid of laying herself bare again now.

"Initially, when I asked to spend time with you," Joey said, "it was because of the bet. But after I'd spent a few minutes in your company, I knew I couldn't go through with it. You'd hidden the most amazing, beautiful heart and I think I started falling in love with you that very day. I saw such a different side to you and I felt like we got close really quickly."

"And yet you still lied to me," Charlie put in but with less venom than expected.

Joey sighed and nodded.

"I tried to back out of it but Brax thought that I was afraid of losing and made sure it stayed in place," she said. "I was falling so deeply and so quickly for you that I didn't know what to do. You shared more and more of yourself with me and I couldn't bear to hurt you. And I knew if I told you the truth, then I would."

"How magnanimous," Charlie commented.

"And selfishly," Joey conceded, "I was terrified of losing you. You'd come to mean everything to me and I didn't want you to hate me. I thought if I could just lose the bet then we'd say no more about it. No harm, you know?"

"Except that you were deceiving me and whether I knew it or not, that was an abuse of trust."

"I know," Joey said softly.

Charlie's eye narrowed as she watched Joey quickly wipe her face.

"I betrayed you, Charlie and I'm so sorry. You let me into your heart. You introduced me to your daughter. You let me come and stay with you for a month in the holidays. You brought so much joy to my life and I am so, so sorry for what I did."

She took another deep breath.

"I know it's inexcusable," Joey said.

"Unforgivable," Charlie corrected.

"Unforgivable," Joey agreed gravely. "But I wish you could at least understand where I'm coming from."

"Where are you coming from?" Charlie asked.

"You changed my life, Charlie," Joey said earnestly. "You took a girl who had nothing, felt like nothing, was convinced she had nothing to give... you gave me life. You gave me a desire to work hard, to make something of myself. You put a halt to all my stupid choices, sleeping around, getting pissed out of my head. You turned me into what I like to think was a worthwhile human being. I mean, I could never study as hard as you do but I tried. I stopped craving meaningless sex because I had very meaningful love. You made me want to be a better person. I actually hoped, one day, that you and I would set up home together and be a family with Ruby."

She chewed her lip anxiously as she turned into the hospital car park. Charlie silently admitted that that's what she had hoped too.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter now," she said sadly as Joey parked the car. "It's over."

Joey sighed heavily and nodded, killing the engine.

"I know," she said unhappily. "I know you were always too good for me. And I know I don't deserve a second chance. But I need you to know that I love you with all my heart. And even if I can't be with you again, Charlie, I'd do anything to be your friend. I'd do anything to keep you in my life, even if it's only a small way. Every time you ignore me or get angry with me, it feels like my soul is being destroyed. I mean, I don't expect things to be equal. I could just... I don't know..."

Charlie looked puzzled.

"I mean, well, I could try and do stuff to make things up to you," Joey ventured, not caring how pathetic she sounded. "Make you breakfast, do you favours... hand library books back on your behalf or something. I don't know. Just... something?"

She turned with watery eyes.

"Please let me be part of your life, Charlie," she begged.

Charlie hesitated. She studied Joey's sad face and felt overwhelmed with sudden compassion.

"I've got to get in to see Rubes," she said, undoing her seatbelt and opening the car door.

Joey nodded. Sighing heavily, she leant back against her seat. A few moments later, Charlie opened the door again and leant inside the car.

"Would you mind coming in with me?" she asked.

Next time… Ruby is diagnosed with Meningitis and Charlie and Joey spend the night at the hospital with her…