Nature Boy

Dave turned the handle on the front door and held his breath. It was unlocked. That had to be a good sign, right? Since wife number two had changed them while he was out in the field, he took an unlocked door as a very good sign. Still, there was no sign of Ashley.

Her car had been in the driveway, but that didn't mean she hadn't called one of the women to come over to help her move…along with all of his valuables. Wife number three had done that while he was on a book tour.

Switching on the lamp, he glanced around the heavily furnished room. Everything was still in its place. But where was Ashley? Making his way toward the staircase, he listened for a sound. But the air was still. Cautiously he took each step as though it was his last. There was no doubt in his mind that Emily Prentiss was waiting for him at the top.

But as he cleared the landing, he noticed the empty hallway. No assassin was waiting. In fact, nothing was waiting. Fear filled his gut. There was no way he was going to make it thru to the other side and come out in one piece.

Slowly he opened the bedroom door. Then he breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed Ashley curled up on the King sized bed. She hadn't left. Relief washed over him.

Making his way to the bed, he tried to think of what he could say to amend the harsh words he shouted. But nothing that came to mind was good enough. Trite was a better term. Maybe it was time for the truth, he reasoned and took his place on the edge of the mattress.

He noticed the tear stains on her cheeks, and his heart squeezed painfully. Gently, he brushed a lock of hair back. How could he have broken her heart?

Ash stirred in her sleep. Opening her eyes, she blinked quickly as she tried to focus on the figure sitting beside her. "Dave?" her voice was thick with sleep.

"Hi, Bellisima."

"You came back," she whispered. The tears filled and fell. "I thought you were gone for good…" She swallowed and tried to fight back the sobs she thought were gone. "I called Hotch and he didn't know where you were…and Emily wanted to shoot you…"

"So my premonition of her at the top of the stairs wasn't all in vain," he quipped.

Ash frowned. "What do you mean?"

Dave shook his head. "Nothing."

"Why did you leave?" she sniffled and took a swipe at her nose.

"I had to," he replied simply. "I had some thinking to do. And being here wasn't going to help me sort things out."

"So you ran?"

"I did."

"But you came back. Why?" Her blue eyes searched his for answers she desperately needed.

"Because I had to…I acted stupidly tonight and said things I didn't mean." Dave ducked his head in shame.

"You said you didn't want the baby," she accused.

Dave's head shot up. "No," he disagreed vehemently. "I never said I didn't want the baby; I said that I didn't want children. There is a difference."

"This is children," she argued logically.

It was a no win situation and she held all the cards. Dave's shoulders slumped in defeat as he realized that it was time to come out with the truth.

"I should have said that I didn't want to be a father," he corrected.

Ash considered his words. "Why?"

"Because, Bellisima, it wasn't my fate to every have children. Have you ever wondered why my three marriages were childless? Or why no one has ever come after me for child support?" he asked. Ash shook her head. "God didn't want me to have children...I guess that's why I was so free and easy when I did my first tour of the FBI. My sperm count is almost zero…and I guess that was my 'do whatever I wanted without consequences' card."

"But you wanted children, right? With your wives?" Ash held her breath.

"Every man wants a child to carry on his lineage, I suppose. And I prayed for a child like nothing else in my life. I don't think there is a position my exes and I didn't try or a method we didn't use." He waited for a second before continuing. "I once told Hotch that if any of my marriages had had children, maybe I would have fought harder to salvage things."

"But we're not married and we are going to have a child," Ash pointed out. "Where does that put me in the scheme of things? Are you going to leave without fighting?"

Dave smiled. "I am going to fight for you. You see, tonight when I left, I just wanted to drive until I disappeared. All I could think of was how life was so unfair. Here I am, nearly sixty years old, and I'm bringing a child into the world. My knees are shot and I'm not half the father I could have been twenty - or even ten years ago," he admitted with a shake of his head. Ash started to speak, but Dave pressed a finger to her lips.

"All I wanted was an answer…and it came in the form of three angels who helped me to see that not only do I have what it takes to be the best father possible." he finished. "They showed me that it's not all about me and that I need to fight if I am going to keep you. I want this baby."

Ash absorbed Dave's confession. There was a part of her that wanted to lash out and hurt him the way he had hurt her. She wanted to storm out and make him worry the way he made her worry as he drove off into the night.

But he had come back to her. Now she had to make a decision.

"You hurt me," she accused sadly.

"I did. I'm not proud of it."

"I should call Pen and JJ," she continued. "Or maybe Hotch and Derek, and let them deal with you. You are a jerk!"