A/N: I'm so sorry that it's taken me son long to get this posted, I'm pretty sure this is the longest I've gone without updating. Unfortunately, my real life has kept me very busy and unable to figure out how to wrap up this story, so it's been hard to write. Plus, the idea for my new fic would not get out of my head, so I had to write a little of that so I can leave my mind free for the rest of this story. This chapter is setting up for things to come, and will help to bring about the resolution of our characters. I hope you enjoy it, and I'm sorry I made you wait so long!

Chapter 33

Derek had given Meredith space. Four days of space in fact. And now he was done. For four days, he had gone to work, gone home, and sat around the apartment. He had no idea what to do, he didn't know what he could do to make it right with Meredith while he gave her space, so he waited. But after four days, he was done giving Meredith space. He knew her schedule, and he realized he had two hours between the times that she got out of class until before he went to work. Hopefully he would be able to find her and work things out by then.

Derek waited for Meredith outside of her class that Wednesday, determined to talk to her and work something out. When students started to file out of her lecture hall, Derek kept his eyes peeled for her, sighing in relief as he saw her petite frame exit the class.

Her head was down, flipping through her planner. But as if she could feel his eyes on her, she looked up and made eye contact with him. Her expression was one of surprise before she rolled her eyes at him and walked down the hall.

"Mer," Derek said as he followed her.

"Go away," she hissed, her expression cold.

"I'm not going to go away," he stated.

Meredith stopped and stared at him for a second before speaking. "Please don't tell me that you're going to do the creepy stalker thing again and stand outside my classes and work and stuff like you did freshman year. Because seriously, that's weird and pathetic Derek, and I think I might call the cops on you this time if you try."

Derek stood there in shocked silence, not entirely putting it past his wife to call the cops on him. Meredith smirked a little at his silence before racing down the hall again. Before he realized it, she was halfway down the corridor, and Derek had to run to catch up with her.

"Meredith!" he called after her.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted back.

"Meredith!" Derek yelled again, ignoring her request. He watched as she darted into an empty classroom just as he reached her. He managed to push his way through before the door shut.

Meredith moved to the other side of the room, standing on the opposite side of a desk, clearly meant to divide them, before turning around.

"Just leave me alone," she insisted, facing him.

"I just want to make sure you're all right," Derek said, taking a step towards the desk.

"No! I'm not all right!" Meredith exclaimed with exasperation. "Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright!"

Derek looked down, suddenly feeling guilty, but Meredith kept speaking.

"You and I have been together for six years Derek, six years! And we've married for almost a year and a half. And you go and kiss a scrub nurse. Or maybe you didn't kiss a scrub nurse but you allowed her to kiss you. And you know something, I may have been able to look past that, because I love you and I trusted you. You were always honest with me, and you were always perfect and dreamy, so had you told me and apologized and swore you didn't initiate it, I would have believed you. But you hid it, and let me feel like crap on our stupid anniversary because you felt guilty but I thought I had done something wrong. You have completely destroyed all my trust in you, and I have something else going on right now, and I don't know how to deal with it. So no, I'm not alright!"

Derek looked at her; she was angry, really angry, but she also looked like she was about to cry.

"Meredith, I'm so sorry. I know I should have told you, and I know that you don't trust me, and you have every right not to. But I love you so much, and I will do anything to get you back. You don't have to trust me, but I need to know if you still love me."

Meredith looked at him carefully before answering. "I still love you. But I don't know if I can still be with you after something like this."

Derek's heart plummeted to his stomach. She can't be ending this, she can't be leaving. "Meredith, please…"

"No Derek," Meredith cut him off. "There are other things to consider here. Other people, factors. I can't just stay married to you because something has happened, and not be able to trust you and be completely miserable. I can't do that to myself, or to someone else. You taught me that I deserved better, so I need to take my time to think about it, and how it will affect everything."

Derek was confused. "What other people? What other things? It's our marriage Meredith, it's only about us. Who cares what anyone else thinks? All I know and care about is that I love you too much to just let you walk away."

Meredith looked at him, eyes wide as she realized what she said, about what she had almost let slip. But she couldn't stop herself from speaking. Derek started walking around the desk towards her, so Meredith moved to the opposite side, so now she was closest to the door. She shouldn't say anything else, not until she decided, but she did anyway. "But it's not just you and me Derek! Everything is changing! A freaking bomb was dropped on me on Saturday, that's why I came to the hospital, I needed your help, but instead I found out about you and Rose! And now everything is different, and I need to figure out if I can do this, if we can do this regardless of our relationship."

"Meredith seriously, what are you talking about?" Derek was really starting to get nervous; his mind kept going through all the things that could be wrong with her. "Please, tell me what's wrong, and we'll figure it out."

Meredith opened her mouth to speak, tears welling in her eyes. Then she closed it, and opened it, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she opened her mouth again, but not saying what Derek wanted to hear. "I-I-I can't do this now. I have to go." And with that, she ran from the classroom.

Derek chased after her, but couldn't figure out what direction she'd gone. Sighing, he decided to head for work, which he was sure he was going to be late to. He had an overnight shift, and he knew most of it would be spent worrying about Meredith.

XXXXXX

It had been another three days, and everything was still the same. He hadn't attempted to go back to Meredith's school; he decided to try and give her space. He had tried her phone a few times, but she always ignored her call. At this point, it had been almost a week since she left him, and now Derek was simply concerned for her well-being.

He wasn't sure where she was staying, and that freaked him out. He knew that Meredith wasn't staying with his mother or any of his sisters. If she was, Derek definitely would have received a phone call from his sisters about what an idiot and a terrible husband he was, as well as a lecture from his mother about how disappointed she was in him in both what had happened and the fact that he had tried to hide it. If they knew, he didn't think he would be able to take the guilt and sadness anymore; he was just holding on as it was. Luckily, he had only received one call from Carolyn, in which he just lied and said that Meredith was working.

But since he knew she wasn't staying with family, but was still in town, made Derek worry. She didn't have much money, so he hoped she wasn't out on the streets or staying in a sketchy hotel.

He heard someone approach, and his head snapped up. Mark was walking towards him slowly, as if trying to judge his mood for the day. He hadn't really seen Mark all week, and that was due to both of their actions. Derek knew that Mark felt guilty because he had been the one that told Meredith about the kiss between Derek and Rose. Derek knew that he shouldn't be mad at him, that it technically wasn't Mark's fault, but a little part of him couldn't help but want to punch Mark. However, that was not the reason Derek was avoiding Mark; he just hadn't wanted to be around people the past week, the only person he wanted was Meredith, and she didn't want him.

"Hey," Mark said, slowly and cautiously.

"Hi," Derek nodded, looking back down at his chart.

"How are you holding up?" Mark asked.

"I'm perfect, I want to jump for joy," Derek snapped sarcastically. Mark took a step back, looking concerned, and Derek felt guilty again. He reminded himself that it wasn't Mark's fault, and that he didn't need to take his problems out on other people. "It's hard Mark. I miss her, and I'm worried about her. I don't know where she is, or where she's staying. She could be sleeping on a park bench for all I know."

"She's not sleeping on a park bench," Mark assured Derek. And then his eyes widened, as if he just realized he gave something away, and Derek realized that Mark knew where Meredith was staying.

"How do you know that?" He pressed.

"I uh, I just do," Mark said, clearly floundering.

"You know where she is," Derek accused.

"No, I don't," Mark countered weakly.

"Please, Mark, just tell me."

"I, uh, was staying with Addison a couple nights ago," Mark began, stuttering a little.

"Wait, why were you staying with Addison?"

"I just was okay," Mark snapped back.

"You had sex with her?"

"Maybe," Mark couldn't help but grin at that.

"It's about time. Anyway, what does Addison have to with this?" Derek asked, though he was glad that Mark finally succeeded in winning the girl over that he had been trying to get with for two years.

"Well, the next morning Addison and I were having breakfast, and I noticed that Meredith's backpack was in the living room," Mark said, his tone of voice making it clear to Derek that he wasn't really sure that he should be telling any of this to Derek.

Derek looked at Mark, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "So she's staying with Addison?"

"Addison wouldn't confirm or deny it," Mark began. "But I'm almost positive that someone has been staying in her guestroom, I could hear someone shuffling around in it when I was getting ready to leave for work on Thursday morning."

"Wait, you've known since Thursday and you haven't said anything! Why would you keep that form me," Derek said dejectedly.

"Come on man, I don't want to get into the middle of this more than I already have, and I'm not sure I should have even told you that. Besides, you've been avoiding me for a week, how was I even supposed to talk to you if I could?"

"Fine," Derek sighed, looking down at his watch. "Oh thank God, I get out of here in twenty minutes; I can go to Addison's."

"Wait, you're just going to barge in there and demand to see Meredith? From what it sounds like, she wants nothing to do with you."

"Yes I am, and you are not going to call Addison or Meredith to give them a head's up," Derek said, staring pointedly at Mark. "And Meredith is my wife and the love of my life. It's not that I just want to see her, I need to see her. Everything is always better when she's around, even if she's mad at me."

Mark's face became sympathetic as he looked at his best friend, and he could only nod in response. "Good luck Derek, I hope it works out."

Derek smiled at Mark as he headed towards the locker room, not wanting to wait another minute to find Meredith.