A/N: Hey, so I know some of you are worried about this story. I can tell you that I am 100% MerDer, and that this story will have a happy ending. This plotline will be wrapping up soon, but there will still be a little more drama before that happens. But they will work through this, and they will be happy, I promise. I'm sorry if you are unhappy with how the story has turned out, but I hope that you will still stick with me through the rest of it. MerDer will talk, and resolve this, but it may take a little time (but not too much because this isn't real life and I want to see them together just as much as you do). Just try to keep in perspective that even though Rose kissed Derek and not vice versa, Meredith feels lied to and betrayed, and when you throw in pregnancy hormones, she may not act rationally. Anyway, this was a really long author's note, but I beg you to stick with me and enjoy this (short again, I'm sorry) update

Chapter 34

Meredith was curled up on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate cradled in her hands. She wished that it was coffee, or tequila, but she couldn't have it because of the tiny person growing in her uterus. She wasn't even sure if she wanted this baby, but she didn't want to anything to screw it up before it's born. She hadn't done anything fun in days, she just went to class or clinical, went to work, and then came straight back to Addison's apartment. She had blown off Sadie twice this week, and had even ignored phone calls from Cristina and Izzie because they wouldn't know what to say to her, and it would just be awkward. Which led her to spend hours stuck in Addison's huge apartment all by herself because Addison was always at work.

She loved Addison's apartment, it was much bigger than her own, and the location was nice, and the king sized bed in the guest room was probably the softest thing she had ever slept on. But she wanted to be back in her own bed, in her own apartment, and not living out of a suitcase in her friend's house.

Addison wandered out of her bedroom a few minutes later, heading straight for the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. When she emerged, Meredith noticed that she was still in her pajamas, which made Meredith assume that she had the day off. She had been keeping to herself, and hanging out in the guest room a lot, so Meredith wasn't completely aware of what Addison's schedule was like.

Addison flopped onto a chair by the couch, reached for the remote control on the coffee table, and turned on the television. After watching the news, Meredith turned to her new roommate.

"So, I heard Mark here the other night, and then the next morning," Meredith said playfully, watching Addison turn bright red.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Addison said, avoiding Meredith's gaze as she spoke.

"Uh huh, sure," Meredith said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I also heard him most of the night too, so don't even pretend that nothing happened."

"Shut up," Addison hissed, but she couldn't help but smile.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. He's a man whore, so I don't even know if it meant anything, or if it was just another conquest."

"I don't think it was another conquest," Meredith said to Addison gently. "He's liked you for years, since you transferred to NYU Med for your residency I think. Why else would he ask you to be his date to the hospital fundraiser last month when he knew you were going to be there anyway?"

"You really think he likes me?" Addison said, raising her eyebrow.

"I do," Meredith said truthfully. "Trust me, he likes you. I'm sure he'll ask you out soon."

The two women sat in silence for a minute before Addison spoke. "How about you? How are you holding up?"

Meredith shrugged. "Not too well I think. I'm really grateful you're letting me stay here Addie, I really am, but I miss my bed and my apartment."

"Do you miss Derek?"

"Honestly, yes?" Meredith sighed. "But at the same time, I don't. I miss him, but then I remember the reason why I'm here with you instead of at home with him, and throw in the fact that I'm pregnant, and I just want to hit him. I'm scared I won't be able to get over this and I'll be alone for the rest of my life rather than with him."

"Who says you have to be alone? You don't think that if you guys get divorced that you'll never find someone else? Because you definitely could Mer."

"No, I don't think I will. I mean, I know I probably could if I tried hard enough, but Derek is…Derek. He's the guy that I was meant to be with. I can just feel it, I know it. He's it for me, and no one can come after him. If someone did, they wouldn't be able to compare to him."

They sat in silence, contemplating Meredith's words when they heard a buzz coming from the hallway.

"One second," Addison said, standing up. "It's the front desk." She bounded into the hallway, coming back a few minutes later. "Someone's coming up."

"Do you know who?" Meredith asked.

Addison shook her head. "No. all they would say is that it's someone I work with."

"Addison, anyone could say that! Someone could be on their way up here to kill you."

"Please, it's the middle of the day," Addison shrugged. "And even if they do, I'll just tell them you're pregnant. No one will kill a pregnant woman."

Meredith opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Be right back," Addison said. Meredith waited in the living room until she heard Addison swear. "Shit!"

"What is it?" Meredith asked, moving into the hallway.

"Derek's at the door," Addison said softly, her eyes wide.

"Wait, what?" Meredith said, dropping her voice down to a whisper. "How does he know I'm here?"

"I don't know, I didn't tell him!" Addison insisted before groaning. "Crap, Mark must have figured it out when he was here."

"Well, what do we do?" Meredith asked, beginning to panic.

"We could not answer the door," Addison suggested.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "He just heard you talking to the doorman on the phone, he knows you're here."

"Oh, right."

As if on cue, Derek pounded on the door again. "Addison, I know you're there. Please let me in, I need to see Meredith."

"Meredith, you have to talk to him."

"No I don't," Meredith shook her head. "Not until I figure out what to do. I'm going to go hide in the bedroom, you get rid of him."

"You know, this is really childish Meredith," Addison said as she moved to the door.

"It's what he gets for marrying someone eight years younger than him," Meredith said as she backed out of the hallway.

Addison sighed as she opened the front door slightly, just enough so that she could slip out before Derek pushed his way through. "Hi Derek," she said, trying to act normally.

"Where's Meredith," he demanded, not bothering to say hello.

"Derek…"Addison began.

"No Addison," Derek said, cutting her off. "I need to speak with her. She is my wife, the love of my life, and I will not lose her. I cannot lose her," Derek said, desperate to make her understand.

"I know Derek," Addison said, looking at him with sympathy. "I know you want to talk to Meredith, and I think that the two of you should, but maybe not right now. She's got some stuff going on, and she needs to digest it all before she can talk to you about it.

"What kind of stuff?" Derek asked desperately, officially worried. Meredith had mentioned something big going on earlier this week, and he wanted to be there for her. If Addison knew, then it must be a big deal; Meredith and Addison were friends, but they definitely did not have the tell-all-your-secrets friendship that Meredith and Cristina, or even Izzie, had.

"Is she okay?" Derek continued. "Because I saw her a couple of days ago, and she said something similar. She's not sick right? I to be there for her if she's sick."

Addison smiled sadly at Derek before speaking. "No Derek, I promise you that she's perfectly healthy."

Derek breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay," he nodded.

"Listen Derek, I will make sure that Meredith calls you by Monday so that you two can talk, but until then, just give her space. I want to help you, Derek, and I'm sure everything will work out."

Derek breathed deeply and gave Addison a very small smile. "Alright," he conceded. "I need to head to work anyway. But please tell her that I love her, and I really need to speak with her."

Addison nodded. "I can do that. I'll see you at the hospital in a few hours."

"Bye Addie," Derek said as he headed back towards the elevator.

Meredith had heard everything Derek said, and an overwhelming sense of guilt began to take over. He was really worried about her, she realized. He was worried that she was really sick, and it was because she hadn't told him about the baby yet. He should have been the first person she told, regardless of their current situation. She owed it to Derek to tell him first, not Addison and Cristina. She had to call him tonight, she decided. They could figure out the baby thing regardless of their current situation. They had to.

"Meredith?" Addison called as Meredith exited her bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"Come on, grab your coat," Addison said, grabbing her purse and her car keys.

"Why?" Meredith asked.

"I have about four hours until my shift starts, and I thought we could go shopping. You know, retail therapy always helps me when I'm in a crappy mood."

Meredith thought about it for a minute; she didn't want to go shopping, but she didn't want to be stuck in Addison's apartment all day. "Yeah, okay," she finally decided.

"Great!" Addison said as she pulled Meredith towards the door.

XXXXXX

Derek was lying in the on call room, pulling out his phone for the tenth time in the past hour. He knew it was irrational that Meredith would call, because Addison said she would call by Monday, and knowing Meredith, that would mean 11:59 pm Monday night. But regardless, he was hoping that she would call. He had been at work for two hours, and nothing exciting had happened, which meant that all he had thought about was Meredith.

Just as he put his phone down and rolled over to try and sleep, his pager went off. He groaned as he studied it, standing up and exiting the small room to make his way down to the pit. Apparently, according to his pager, there had been a car accident, and one of the victims had a potential concussion.

He got down to the pit about a minute before he heard sirens indicating the ambulance arrival. He waited for the stretcher just inside the ER, and focused his attention on the paramedic as she rushed by, not looking at the patient.

"Twenty four year old female passenger struck by a taxi who ran a red light. Taxi hit the vehicle on her side. In and out of consciousness for the past twenty minutes, potential concussion and probable splenic rupture," the paramedic rattled off as she pushed the stretcher into a trauma room. Derek followed, finally looking down at the patient. As he did, Derek felt his stomach drop to the floor as he looked at her.

"Meredith," was all he could choke out.