The potions master was woken by a sharp pain in his side and angry voices. He blinked and tried to distinguish the words that were said, but as several people were talking at the same time, he didn´t succeed.
The pain repeated itself, even stronger this time, and a part of Snape´s brain registered that he was kicked with a boot. He tried to get away, but couldn´t move with the armful of boy that held him down. He tightened his grip on Potter protectively. Whoever was kicking him wasn´t to get the boy.
"I said hands off the boy, dirty pervert!" shouted a man.
Snape blinked again and this time his sleepy eyes made out the shapes of three policemen and a man in work clothes.
Potter chose exactly this moment to wake up and struggle free from his teacher, blushing in embarrassment.
"Don´t be afraid, child," said one of the policemen and seized Potter by his upper arm. "It´s over, you won´t be molested again." He pulled the boy away from Snape.
The Boy Wonder blinked owlishly and allowed himself to be dragged up. Snape had to let go of his charge as another policeman pointed at him with his fireweapon. The man in working clothes shook a hay-fork threateningly.
"You are save now," the policeman, who held Potter, informed the boy.
"But," said the boy at last, "this is my uncle. What are you talking about?"
"Ha," cried the policeman, "they always call themselves ´uncle´!"
Snape followed the exchange with his hands raised above his head. He just hoped the boy was going to be able to convince the officers that he, Snape, was a harmless relative.
"He´s my uncle like in ´my mother´s brother´." Potter glared at the policeman who still held him by his arm. Snape couldn´t help feeling grateful that the boy hadn´t made him Potter senior´s brother. "See?" Potter asked defiantly, "we have both black hair!"
"But you don´t have his nose," the police officer pointed out, shaken.
"Thank God, no," grinned the boy. Snape decided they had to discuss his cheek properly once they were in private. "My mum didn´t have his nose either. Or do you think my dad would have married her?"
The assembled muggles snickered and Snape put them on the list of persons he wished to hex once he had his wand back.
"As my nephew convinced you of the innocence of the situation, I´d appreciate it if you put down your weapon," Snape snarled at the policeman who was pointing his gun at him. The officer obeyed hastily. "I´m sorry, Sir," he said, "we were alerted by this concerned citizen, who found you in his barn."
The man in the working clothes scratched the back of his head. "I had the boy´s best in mind," he said to the potions master, who glared at him.
"And Uncle Toby is very grateful for that," Potter smiled winningly. "As am I. I wish everybody would watch out for children´s welfare like you, Sir."
Snape fought down the urge to vomit. Where had the Boy Wonder learned this behaviour? A moment later the potions master recognized the benign smile. Dumbledore. Well, he´d better follow the boy´s lead, although this kind of behaviour was against everything Severus Snape stood for.
"Indeed," he tried to copy Potter´s smile. "I´m very grateful you watched out for my dear nephew. Thank you, Sir. God bless you for your kindness." As he felt already sick, he might as well lay it on thick.
Potter smiled at him, but cocked an eyebrow. Snape returned the smile, putting in a dose of smirk.
"You know," the Gryffindor said boldly, "we´re on our way to grandpa. We have no money left and we had to sleep in this barn. I felt cold and Uncle Toby warmed me a bit." He sat beside Snape.
The potions master recognized a challenge when he saw one. He put his arm around the boy´s shoulder. "I can´t allow my only living relative to freeze!" He pulled the boy closer as if warming him again.
"Only living relative?" asked one of the policemen. "I thought you were going to the boy´s grandfather!"
Snape squeezed the boy playfully. "He´s my only relative," he said as if explaining the obvious. "Grandpa is his father´s father. No relative of mine. But the old man has a house and invited us both to live with him. – Unfortunately he didn´t send the money for the journey."
The farmer shuffled his feet. "Would you, Sir, and your nephew grant me the honour to join me for Christmas dinner? I´m alone and I have a roast turkey."
Potter beamed at the man. "Can we, Uncle Toby? Please?" He looked at Snape (pleadingly) and the farmer (smiling brightly) in turn.
"We don´t want to be a burden," said the potions master, "but if you really don´t mind..."
The farmer smiled. "Done! You´ll come and help me eat that turkey."
One of the policemen rummaged in his pocket and produced a banknote he dropped it into his cap and held it out to the other two, who put in a banknote each, too.
"Sir," the officer holding the cap said, "please accept a little help for your journey."
"We can´t accept that!" cried Snape.
"Take it for the boy," said the muggle, "it´s Christmas and no child should want."
Snape accepted the banknotes graciously and took the men off the list of people to hex.
-x-
It turned out that roast turkey was about all the farmer had for Christmas dinner. There was no salad, no sauce, no stuffing, no vegetables, no nothing.
"I will make mash potatoes," explained the farmer a bit awkwardly. "It´s what I make every year. I´m not very good at cooking and there´s only so much you can do wrong with mash potatoes."
"May I help?" Potter asked eagerly. "I´m not bad at cooking."
Snape suppressed a snort. If Potter´s abilities with a cauldron were anything to go by, he certainly was going to spoil the mash potatoes.
"If you like," shrugged the farmer, who had introduced himself as John on the way home. "I´m not very fond of cooking, so consider yourself welcome." He made an overdramatic, inviting gesture towards the kitchen. "You can use whatever you find."
"Great! Come Uncle Toby," the boy cried cheerfully and led the way to the stove.
Ten minutes later the potions master found himself in front of a pile of ingredients.
"Jim," he growled, "John will not be grateful, if we spoil his supplies!"
"We´re not going to spoil anything! We´re going to cook," Potter said stubbornly. "I´m good at cooking."
"I heard otherwise," Snape said pointedly, his tone full of warning.
"Even my aunt admits that I´m not useless in a kitchen," the boy protested.
His aunt? Bloody code language? Was the boy talking about McGonagall? Sprout? Trelawney? When had any of those Potter seen near a kitchen? Then the potions master remembered that Potter lived with his muggle aunt and uncle. This aunt? Did this aunt make Saint Potter work as a kitchen-boy?
"You may have helped, Jim," he pointed out, "but being responsible for the actual cooking..."
The boy interrupted him angrily. "I WAS responsible for the actual cooking! Again and again! I know nobody ever cared about what my aunt taught me, but don´t you dare tell me now what I can and can´t do! And now chop that red cabbage!"
It was fascinating, how somebody who was overtaxed with brewing a calming draught was able to cook red cabbage, dumplings and a gravy sauce at the same time and find time to whip up a vanilla cream for dessert. Potter stirred and added spices, he handled several dishes at the same time, he directed Snape to make himself useful (mostly cutting – "We both know that you´re good at that, don´t complain, it´s Christmas!) and glared at the potions master angrily from time to time.
Snape saw that his doubts had offended the boy, but he had no idea what to say. Should he apologise? Certainly not! He had only worded his opinion, based on what he knew from potions.
The farmer came back from his work in the stables two hours later.
"Just in time, John!" Potter cried merrily. "Dinner´s ready in ten minutes. Can you show Uncle Toby where you keep the cuttlery and stuff?"
Snape was sent to lay the table, while the farmer washed.
A quarter hour later the two men and the boy started a delicious dinner. John kept telling them that the bible was right. Those who were ready to give, received. "Here I was," he cried, "ready to share my simple chunk of meat and I got a proper meal in return! Praise the Lord!"
Snape shivered every time the muggle invoked his god. He had nothing against muggle religion, his parents had taken him to church several times, but the exact wording was a bit disturbing.
-x-
John insisted on the boy taking the spare bedroom and Snape staying on the sitting room sofa.
"Really, John," said Potter, "the sofa is too small for Uncle Toby. He can stay in my room. The bed is big enough."
The farmer shot Snape a suspicious glance. The boy saw it and reacted at once. "Or I could take the sofa. I´m smaller."
"No," the farmer declared. "I want you to have a room with a key."
"Really, Jim," the potions master sighed. "The sofa is not so bad. It´s okay. You take the bedroom and lock your door."
The night on the sofa was hell. Snape didn´t dare transform (the sofa would have been more than adequate in cat form) and so he tossed and turned all night, trying to find a comfortable position.
Breakfast couldn´t come too soon.
The muggle made coffee and Potter baked scones. Snape was – again – amazed.
"We have to go north," the potions master said between two bites of Potter´s baker´s ware. He made a mental note to investigate later what else Petunia Dursley had tought the boy. "Is there a bus or something?"
Potter looked up in surprise.
"There´s a bus." John explained the way to the station. Then he got up and – after rummaging in a drawer for some time – returned to the table with a schedule. "The next bus north goes in," he consulted his watch, "fifty minutes. You need twenty to reach the station."
"Then we won´t be a burden to you any longer," the potions master stated. "Grandpa is waiting."
The farmer gave them a bag with bread and turkey for lunch. He added a bottle of orange juice for the boy and a tin of beer for Snape and wished them a good journey. They hiked through the cold to the bus station.
The money from the policemen was enough to take them past Edinburgh.
"Wouldn´t it have been wise to keep some of the money for food?" asked the boy when they got off the bus.
"No," replied Snape.
"But look! There´s so much snow! We won´t find anything to eat!"
"Stop thinking with your stomach," growled the potions master. "We were fed without money so far, we will be again. We can always count on your kitten eyes. It´s more important to put some distance between ourselves and Malfoy Manor."
The boy shuddered.
"I thought so," the potions master snarled and led the way away from the main road, to the fields.
Potter followed obediently. For a while they walked in silence before the boy broke it.
"How far is it?" The wizarding hero sounded exhausted.
"How far is it to where?" asked the potions master. "To Hogwarts? I´d say to three weeks if we manage to walk a decent distance every day." He didn´t look back at the boy.
"No, I meant to wherever we are going today."
"Jim," hissed the older wizard, "you can´t be tired! You had a meal in the morning and at noon and you haven´t walked but half an hour."
"I know," the answer sounded miserable. "But I am."
The potions master stopped short and turned to face the boy. "Come here," he ordered and palmed the boy´s forehead. "You´ve got a fever. Why didn´t you say anything in the morning? We could have stayed with that muggle."
"I didn´t feel ill in the morning," piped the boy.
The potions master rummaged in his robes. "I have a bit of that muggle medicine left," he murmured and produced a box of tablets. "Here, take one."
The boy made a face as he tried to swallow the tablet without water.
"Chew it, if you have to," ordered Snape.
"You chew it yourself! This tastes vile!" The boy complained, but did as he was told.
Snape bit back a harsh remark. "When you´re done with the medicine, transform. I´ll carry you."
Potter stared at him in disbelief. The potions master stared back unblinkingly. Finally, the boy lowered his gaze and transformed. Snape picked the black cat up and proceeded along their path.
-x-
Had the potions master known that Potter was going to fall ill, he´d indeed have kept some money for food, but as it was, they had none. He considered going to a muggle village for help, but then his experiences with a veterinarian told him to hold out without one as long as possible.
So a barn it was again. Snape searched the building and its surroundings for something edible, but the boy had been – what a moment for this first – right. There was too much snow to find anything. So mice it had to be.
After placing Potter on a makeshift bed of hay, the older wizard transformed. He searched the barn on soft paws and soon he spotted a big mouse. He ducked and slithered nearer. Then he jumped. The mouse squeeked, but Snape had it in his mouth and wouldn´t let go. Content with his quick success he carried the mouse back to Potter.
He transformed and lay another tablet onto the dead rodent. Then he woke the sleeping cat with a gentle stroke over his back.
The boy´s eyes grew big as saucers when he saw Snape hold out the mouse to him.
"I know it´s not what you´d want if you had a choice," the potions master said gently, "but it´s all we have and the longer you think about it, the more disgusting you will find it. Eat the tablet first and then wash the bad taste down with the mouse. Mice are quite nourishing."
The cat looked as if it was going to be sick, but it ate the tablet and the mouse.
"Stay in cat form. The medicine will have greater effect on a small body," advised the potions master. "Try to sleep."
Potter nodded once before he curled in a ball and closed his eyes.
Snape resumed his mice hunt and retired to the boys side after eating two.
-x-
The boy felt better the next morning. Snape felt his forehead again and declared Potter free from fever.
"Nevertheless," Snape said, "we´re going to be careful. We have only one tablet left and therefor can´t risk you being ill again. You´ll take it easy today. You will transform and I will carry you. Come evening, we´ll go to the next village and we´ll see whether those kitty eyes of yours can get us dinner."
"You can´t carry me all day," protested the younger wizard. "Even in cat form I´m heavy!"
"Jim," sighed the potions master, "don´t you think, knowing my course of life, that I survived worse things than carry a cat for a day?"
"Actually, Toby," said the boy, "I don´t know much about your life. You´re a spy for the Order and a teacher, but apart from that..."
"My life isn´t of interest for you."
"To be honest, I´m a bit curious," murmured the teenager.
"Now is not the time to talk," muttered the potions master. "Transform!" he added a bit more harshly.
Potter looked as if he was going to argue, but then he did as he was told. Snape picked the big black cat up and went on through the snow, north.
The potions master didn´t take a break. What good would it have been? He had nothing to eat or drink and there was no warm place to offer some shelter from the wind. By evening it started to snow and Snape approached a village.
"I could do with some food," he said as he sat the cat on the ground. "So do your best."
Potter waited until his teacher had transformed. Then he set out for the first house. The boy jumped onto the sill and looked in through the window. After a minute he miaowed and scratched the pane. There was no reaction. Potter tried again five minutes later but it was no use. At last he gave up on that house and signalled the potions master to follow him to the next.
It looked as if they were going to stay hungry and cold. All the reaction they got was a dog being pushed out of a door, which chased them through the backyard. Snape didn´t remember ever running so fast.
They sat on an apple tree, both panting. The dog – a huge German police-dog – barked at them from the other side of the fence.
"Shut up, stupid cur!" A muggle woman shouted from the house.
Potter made ready to jump from their tree at once. Snape signalled him to stay on the tree, but the boy winked at him and left the relative safety of the tree-top.
"Miaow!" Potter approached the woman on soft paws.
"Did that stupid git set his dog on you?" the woman asked as Potter stepped nearer. "Are you hungry? Do come in!"
The boy looked behind him, where Snape approached carefully.
"Oh, you have a friend!" the woman smiled. "Come in, kitty, kitty."
The two wizards followed the muggle inside. The woman went straight to the fridge and set a bowl of milk in front of her two guests. Both cats started to lick up the milk eagerly.
"So, whose are you?" The woman´s voice startled them out of their meal. "Your fur is shiny. You´re not strays. Parker´s? Their brats trampled on my daisies. Or has Mrs. Miller, the old bat, new pets? Hmm? She doesn´t greet me in the street. Or – oh I hope so! – has old Mr. Winterbottom been hiding you so far? He said I´m crazy when I asked him to cut his chestnut-tree to give my roses more sun."
Snape thought that old Mr. Winterbottom had a point, when the woman approached them with a broom in her hand.
"Anyway," the muggle continued sweetly, "they won´t get you back!"
The potions master hissed and retreated. Potter followed his lead, arching his back and ruffling up his fur.
"You can´t escape," the woman swung her broom. The two cats retreated further until they were backed against the wall. The muggle struck and nearly hit Potter. The younger animagus fled past her under the kitchen table, but she followed, all the while trying to hit him with her broom.
Snape made a quick decision. He couldn´t let the Boy-Who-Lived, the Teenager-Who-Bested-The-Dark-Lord be killed by a crazy muggle with a broom. He transformed and grabbed the broom from behind. The woman shrieked and struggled with surprising strenght. They fought for the broom, the potions master silent and with controlled movements, the muggle shrieking and struggling like a fish in a net.
Suddenly there was another pair of hands. Potter, the potions master realised, had come to his aid. Together, they defeated the muggle hag.
"Witchcraft! Humbug! Witchcraft!" the muggle shouted when the potions master forced her onto one of her kitchen chairs.
"Be quiet, or I´ll hex your tongue off!" Snape snarled. "Keep an eye on her. If she makes one suspicious move, turn her into a frog."
"Yes, Toby," said Potter. "But may I remind you that I don´t know the countercurse?"
"The better. You need to practice."
"But the last two died when I tried."
"Who cares?"
All through the dialog – the muggle was barely breathing – the potions master searched the kitchen cupboards. When he finally found what he was looking for, he filled a glass and set it in front of the woman.
"Drink!" he ordered.
The woman obeyed with shaking hands. The potions master refilled her glass. And again. And again.
Potter watched, horrified, as the older wizard forced half a bottle of wodka into the muggle.
"What have you done?" the boy hissed when the muggle collapsed on the table, snoring.
The potions master shrugged. "Muggle version of obliviate. Now, let´s see what she has to eat."
Five minutes later, they had a dinner of bacon and cheese sandwiches and tea.
"We can´t stay over night and we have to make sure she doesn´t remember us when she wakes," said Snape as he wiped his mouth after the meal.
"I´ll clean away the milk," offered Potter.
"And I´ll see what the lady can provide for our journey."
"Do you want to steal from her?" Potter was shocked.
"She tried to kill us. Regard it a compensation."
"But..."
"Jim, would you say no to another bus ride?" The potions master cocked an eyebrow.
"No, Toby, not at all."
"I thought so. You clean the kitchen and I do the stealing."
Snape searched the bathroom and found several boxes of medications. He scanned the instructions and pocketed those against fever and pain. In the bedroom, he found the woman´s purse. He took only a small sum, enough to take them a good distance north, but not so much that the muggle couldn´t dispense with it.
When he returned to the kitchen, Potter waited for him with a small plastic bag in his hand. "Breakfast," the boy grinned.
"Well thought, Jim. Put it in your pocket or it won´t transform with you." The potions master opened the back door a crack. Then he transformed and slid outside to the backyard. Potter, he realised, was right behind him. They crossed the village and settled behind some garbage bins behind the last house. There, they snuggled up to each other in a ball and soon both wizards were asleep.