There are ten more chapters after this one. I hope you enjoy reading. Love, IJKS xxx
Chapter Forty One
It had been a couple of months and although their home was harmonious, things continued to feel unsettled between Charlie and Joey. Ruby had picked up on it and questioned them on a regular basis about whether they loved each other or not. The conversation was awkward to say the least. Charlie was still battling with herself, wondering if she could learn to let her guard down. And Joey was trying to accept that she had missed her chance and could now only ever be Charlie's friend.
"Hey, um... I've been invited out tonight..." Joey ventured over dinner. "Do you mind?"
"You don't need my permission," Charlie said a little more bitterly than she meant.
Ruby watched them with interest and she battled with her knife and fork.
"I know," Joey said. "I was just being polite. I mean, I don't know if you had plans or..."
"The only plans I ever have on a Friday night are with you and Ruby," Charlie pointed out.
She pushed her plate away and leant back in her seat, folding her arms and looking unhappy.
"Do you want me to...?"
"Do whatever you like, Joey," Charlie snapped. "I'm not your keeper."
"Okay," Joey said quietly.
She stood to clear their plates away but Charlie stopped her.
"I'll do it," she said. "You'd better go and get dolled up."
That night, Joey sat round a table in a busy bar in town with Brax, Angelo, Nicole, Shannon and Watson.
"She is so giving you the come on," Brax remarked, nodding towards the pretty barmaid that had served them their drinks.
"I doubt it," Joey said sourly.
She frowned, wondering why she had even agreed to come out. Her heart was still back at the flat with Charlie and Ruby.
"What has happened to you?" Brax wondered.
"What do you mean?"
"When we first met you were so confident," he told her. "And ever since Charlie, you've changed. You don't believe in yourself anymore. She's ruined you."
"That's harsh," Shannon interjected.
"It's true," Brax insisted.
Joey merely shrugged. She didn't care how she portrayed herself these days.
"Maybe it's not that she doesn't believe in herself," Watson ventured. "Maybe it's just that she loves Charlie and doesn't want to flirt with other girls."
Joey looked up and managed a smile.
"Bingo," she sighed.
"Charlie doesn't want to be with you anymore," Angelo said rather bluntly.
Joey glared at him and Nicole looked cross. The pair of them had started dating very recently, although they were ensuring they took it slowly.
"I didn't mean it like that," Angelo said. "I mean, well, it's just that..."
"What my boyfriend is so ineptly trying to say is that if there isn't a future with Charlie, aren't you hurting yourself more by keep waiting for her?" Nicole said gently.
"That's exactly what I meant," Angelo confirmed.
"I really appreciate the compassion," Joey said. "And I know you're right. I keep telling myself the same thing over and over again. But... I can't seem to let her go."
"Well, maybe a good start would be not playing house anymore!" Brax pointed out.
Joey glared at him. More and more, she wondered why they were even friends.
"I can't move out," she said firmly.
"Why not?"
"Because I made a promise and I intend to stick to it," Joey replied.
"Why are you making such a big commitment to some girl who gives you a hard time and the daughter she got knocked up with when she was still a child?" Brax asked.
"Because I love them," she snapped. "It's nothing simpler or more complicated than that."
Brax shook his head.
"You have to get out of this situation, Jo," he said. "It's destroying you."
With Ruby in bed, Charlie felt desperately lonely. This was the first Friday night in a long time that she and Joey had been apart. Although she knew she had no right, she was jealous and suspicious. She knew exactly what Joey and Brax were like on a night out and she hated the idea that Joey might hook up with someone new. It didn't matter how likely it was and how much she tried to brace herself, the thought of Joey dating someone else destroyed her. And yet she felt completely unable to claim her as her own.
It was one o'clock in the morning and Joey was absolutely wasted. The barmaid had finished her shift and spent a lot of time talking to her, as well as trying to catch up on her level of alcohol intake.
"Do you want to go back to my place?" the barmaid asked, leaning into Joey.
Joey stared at her, her eyes not quite focussing. She hiccupped and tried to remember the girl's name.
"I'm not sure how capable I'm going to be," she admitted, slurring a little.
"I'm sure you'll be fine," the girl said.
Leaning closer, she kissed her.
Charlie lay in bed beside Ruby who was sleeping soundly. Glancing at the clock, Charlie fretted about Joey. What was she doing? Who was she doing it with? And would she even come home tonight? Sighing heavily and realising that there was little chance of her getting any sleep, Charlie hauled herself out of bed. She made herself a hot chocolate and settled down on the couch, immediately leafing through some textbooks.
Joey almost fell through the door of the barmaid – Michelle's – apartment. They tumbled onto the couch together, Michelle's hands wandering and Joey's mind getting increasingly blurred. They kissed clumsily.
"Charlie," Joey whispered tearfully.
Michelle drew back.
"I know you're drunk but it's polite to at least try and remember a girl's name," she remarked.
Joey's eyes opened but failed to focus.
"Sorry," she said. "I think I've had too much to dr..."
She was interrupted by her own vomit.
Charlie gave up on studying. It was too late and she was too anxious. She couldn't settle her mind on criminology. Sighing heavily, she gazed at the front door, willing it to open and for Joey to walk through.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" Charlie asked herself, turning away from the door and flicking on the television.
She hoped that late night comedy would help distract her.
"I'm so sorry," Joey said weakly.
Michelle had taken pity on her and tucked her up under a blanket on the sofa. She had also cleaned up the disgusting mess Joey had made.
"It's fine," Michelle assured her. "We've all been there."
"I've been here too much," Joey sighed.
"I'm guessing this Charlie person is the reason you're feeling so messed up," Michelle ventured.
Joey nodded, sighed and closed her eyes.
"I love her," she said.
"And does she love you?"
"Yes. But she doesn't want to. Or... no, but she does want to. I don't know."
"Well, why don't you sleep on it and we can talk about it in the morning?" Michelle suggested.
Joey nodded and instantly fell asleep.
"Mum?" Ruby said in a quiet voice.
Charlie woke with a start. Her daughter stood, looking puzzled by the sofa.
"Why didn't you go to bed?" she asked.
"I wasn't tired," Charlie explained, stretching and sitting up.
Ruby continued to look confused.
"But you slept here," she said.
"I didn't mean to," Charlie said.
She stood up, proposing breakfast. Ruby nodded eagerly. Pouring out juice and cereal, Charlie glanced at Joey's bedroom door. It was open the exact same amount that it had been last night. And her bed had not been slept in.
It was noon before Joey stumbled through the front door. Ruby was playing with an assortment of dolls and Charlie was studying at the kitchen table.
"Hi," Joey greeted, waving a little sheepishly.
Charlie barely glanced up when she mumbled hello. Ruby leapt up and nearly knocked her over by way of greeting.
"Put me down!" Joey chuckled. "I'm feeling fragile!"
"Why?"
"Because I didn't sleep very well," Joey explained.
"Mum didn't either," Ruby declared. "She slept on the sofa."
Joey glanced at Charlie who looked irritated by the passing of information.
"Where did you sleep?" Charlie asked curtly.
"On Brax's bedroom floor," Joey said.
The lie was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She cursed herself for it but couldn't quite seem to take it back.
"Did you have a fun night out?" Charlie asked.
Bitterness was evident in her voice.
"It was okay," Joey said, hovering awkwardly by the table. "I missed you."
"I doubt it," Charlie said. "If you'd have wanted to spend the evening with us then you could have. And you didn't."
She locked eyes with Joey who shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
"Well, I'm going to go and have a shower," she said. "I'll see you both when I'm clean again."
Next time… Charlie catches Joey out and decides to have a night out of her own…