Chapter Four

Regina had been hoping for an attentive audience at the diner. When the townspeople saw their beloved new Sheriff having dinner with the Mayor who had so recently opposed her, they would reach the logical conclusion that the two women had become political allies, much as Regina and Graham had been. Not only that, but it had been the sheriff who submitted. If you knew anything about the mayor, it was that she never backed down easily, if at all. Since Emma Swan had been in office for no more than a week, she HAD to have been the one to blink first.

The knowledge that Emma Swan had been so easily co-opted by the local power structure and had fallen into line would quell any possible rebellious thoughts and remind the good people of Storybrooke that it was always best to just do as the mayor said.

Regina got her audience, but they reached what she – and Emma – would have considered a most illogical conclusion.

When Emma got up from the table and went to speak with Mary in her rear booth, the other patrons had a few minutes to talk amongst themselves. A typical, if somewhat R-rated, conversation centered around the bar.

"I guess it's true what they say," Ruby observed. "There IS a thin line between love and hate."

"I think you're reading a lot more into this than the situation merits," Dr. Hopper said. "Henry – "

"What about Henry?" Granny asked.

Archie sighed. "Without divulging any private conversations, Henry said that this is some kind of battle of wills, a competition to see who the better mother is."

"Please, doc," Leroy said to his right. He chortled as he lifted a drink to his lips. "What else are they going to tell the twerp?"

"What else who is going to tell who?" the woman on Leroy's right asked, bewildered.

Ruby shook her head. Even with those coke-bottle glasses, Candace could barely see two feet in front of her. Plus she was always wool-gathering. No wonder she worked for the phone company. "Mayor Mills and the new Sheriff have been eating dinner with the mayor's son tonight."

"They'll be eating something different after they get home," Leroy cracked.

"Leroy!" Granny hissed.

"What exactly are you implying?" Archie asked.

"Not implying anything, Hopper. The mayor and the sheriff told the kid that because they couldn't tell him they're dancing the horizontal mambo together."

"For God's sake, Leroy, get your mind out of the gutter!" Granny warned him.

"Why not?" Ruby asked. "I'd tap that. I'd tap both of that."

"Ruby!"

"Tap what?" Candace asked.

Leroy opened his mouth, but Granny glared at him and he said nothing.

"Personally, I think we should celebrate their having dinner together," Granny went on to say. "Emma wouldn't simply roll over for Regina Mills, not after what she said about – "

"The Gimp," Leroy interjected.

"About Mr. Gold," Granny said, ignoring him. "So If the mayor and the sheriff have reached some kind of understanding, then perhaps Emma will have some real power in this town, rather than just being an extension of City Hall. I mean, Sheriff Graham was a sweet man – "

"But he did what he was told," Ruby said. "Isn't that right, Sidney?"

Sidney Glass, who had sat mutely to Dr. Hopper's left, grunted. No one had failed to notice that he had taken the embarrassment of losing the sheriff's race hard, or that he hadn't been seen in Regina's company much lately. "If I'd known sleeping with the mayor was a prerequisite of the job, maybe I wouldn't have ran in the first place." Whatever the mayor and Graham may have believed, their affair had been a poorly-kept secret.

"If sleeping with the sheriff is a perk of being mayor, maybe I should run," Leroy replied, grinning.

"If Emma and Regina could settle their differences," Archie said, "it would be better for everyone. Especially their son."

"All little boys and girls are a gift," Candace observed.

"Sure," Leroy said. "Henry could have two mommies. And we all know what THAT's code for."

"I'm cutting you off," Granny muttered.

It was at that point that Emma made her way back to the mayor's table, and conversation came to a stop. Candace paid her check and left. Ruby watched her go. Damn, why were eyeglasses so sexy on a woman? Too bad Candace Gummer was skinny as a rail, she ate like a bird.

"It has come to my attention," Emma said as she sat back down, "that I don't know Storybrooke as well as I should."

"Well, I'm very disappointed in you, Sheriff," Regina replied, although she was actually more disappointed that she hadn't been the one to point it out first. "We're not a major city like Boston is, but we're not a village either. Still, you should have learned everything it has to offer by NOW."

"Since I'm going to be staying here for a VERY long time," Emma told them, earning a bright smile from Henry and a disbelieving sneer from the Mayor, "I agree. What do people do for fun around here?"

"Fun?"

"Yeah, fun, Regina. Maybe you've heard of it. And not the kind you get from terrorizing the local population."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "I hope you're not referring to the kind you get from overimbibing. I realize a single girl doesn't have a lot of options - "

"Really, Regina? Really? You're going to throw that in my face?" Emma asked. "Pot calling kettle?"

The Mayor's expression grew colder, but Henry interrupted. "There's the drive-in."

Emma looked confused. "You mean like McDonald's?"

"No, a drive-IN. You know, a movie theater?"

"You have a drive-in movie theater here?"

"For heaven's sake, Emma," Regina said. "You say that like we have an alligator farm."

"No, I just – I didn't realize there were any still around," Emma said quietly.

"Well, not a lot of people go," the Mayor informed her. "The owner isn't exactly up with the times."

"I guess not, if he's operating a drive-in."

"She means he only shows old movies there," Henry said.

"Yes," Regina confirmed. "I don't believe he's shown a new movie since the 1980s."

"Twenty-eight years ago," Henry added.

Regina frowned. Trust her son to pick up on that.

"Wow," Emma said. "We've so got to check that out after dinner."

"We? Excuse me, Sheriff, but you are free to visit there by yourself. But Henry has school tomorrow."

"Oh, come on, it's not even 7:30. We can just go over there and see what's playing. And then I can come back another time."

Regina had the unpleasant feeling that "I" was code for "Henry and I". She had a mental image of the two of them sitting together, watching the movie, eating popcorn, having the perfect mother-son moment.

A moment which, she realized, had eluded her all this time.

"Fine," she said, forcing a smile. "We'll drive there after dinner then. Not that I have any idea what's playing. It could be 'La Dolce Vita' and 'Casablanca' for all I know."

"Ghandi and Goonies."

Regina and Emma both looked up, surprised to find Ruby standing over them. "I beg your pardon?" Regina asked.

"Nappy's in the G's now," Ruby explained patiently. "He's showing 'Ghandi' and 'The Goonies' now." She smiled knowingly. "I go there a lot."

Hmph. Ruby might even see a movie on occasion there, Regina thought. Given enough time – and of course, Ruby would have all the time in the world – she might sleep her way through the whole town. "And what," she asked distastefully, "is a Goonie?"

Emma stared at her. "You've never seen 'The Goonies'? What am I saying, of course you've never seen 'The Goonies'. You've probably been an adult since the day you were born."

She had no idea.

"Is it good?" Henry piped up.

Emma groaned. "And for a minute I thought our son wasn't deprived. Tonight or another night, Henry, I'm taking you to see it," she said, confirming Regina's suspicion. "It'll be right up your alley."

"Tonight then," Regina said.

Henry's jaw dropped slightly.

"But we'll go home first and pick up your pajamas, young man."

Emma, meanwhile, looked almost impressed in spite of herself.

And if this movie is anything like '2 Broke Girls', Miss Swan, I'll bury you out there.

Ruby casually headed back to the bar.

"Well?" Archie asked.

"Nothing," she said slyly. "They're just going to the movies after this."

Leroy grinned. "I think we all know why the mayor never married. 'Cause it ain't legal in Maine."

Archie scratched the back of his head. "I never thought – who could have predicted this?"

"All I know is," Leroy said, "I'm not missing this for the world." He pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the bar. "I'm goin' to the movies too. I'll save you guys a seat."

Ruby sighed. She'd have to wait until morning to hear all the juicy details – and then spread them like pollen.

"I thought you said not many people go to that theater," Emma said after she'd tucked a practically comatose and very heavy Henry into his bed. "There must have been twenty or thirty people there tonight."

"I do not know why," Regina said, trying to get a handle on her temper.

Emma took one look at her face and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry he stayed up late night – "

"Don't play your games with me," Regina snarled. "I know what you were trying to pull."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Forgive me for having an idea for Henry to have fun. Next time I'll let you have the plan."

"I know why you wanted him to see that movie!"

"Because . . . it's awesome?"

"Because of that woman! The mother! Oh please," she said, her voice rich with sarcasm. "You just wanted Henry to identify with the boys in that movie, being chased about by an evil villainess who goes by 'Mama'. Just a sly little dig at me, wasn't it? Look, Henry, it's a movie about your life and the mother you despise!"

Emma stared at her.

"What?" Regina finally screeched.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to decide if I should chalk this up to you being self-centered, or you being really, really paranoid. I'm leaning toward paranoid because, really, self-centered people don't want to believe they're being compared to Anne Ramsey."

Regina couldn't decide if she wanted to slap Emma, or go with the fist like the last time.

"Because I'm sorry, you are reading way too much into a kids' movie," Emma went on. "I just thought Henry would love it. Which, I will remind you, he did. If nothing else, I thought you'd enjoy seeing him happy."

"Not at my expense!"

It was then that Regina saw the sympathy in Emma's eyes. She hated seeing it. She wanted to claw it out.

"I suppose, looking back now, I can see the parallel," Emma admitted. "But this wasn't intended to be an attack on you." Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh, wow, I get it now."

"Get what?"

"The way Henry treats you," Emma said. "I never saw how much it truly upsets you until just now. Your husband abandoned you and your son hates you. You really feel like you can't trust anyone, can you?"

"I do not need your psychoanalysis," Regina retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

"Whatever your life has taught you, Regina, not everyone is out to get you. You can lower the gates every so often, you know."

Regina turned on her heel and walked away before she got into a physical altercation outside her son's bedroom.

"I'm not out to get you," Emma said.

Opening her bedroom door, Regina went inside and slammed the door behind her. It was only then that she realized she was crying.

"Ah, Sheriff Swan, how lovely it is to see you again."

Emma regarded Mr. Gold warily. It had been a tense Thursday morning. Regina hadn't looked at her or spoken to her that morning. Henry had been oblivious, at least. He had just talked at length about the movie last night. It was nice to hear him go a half-hour without mentioning Operation Cobra. Emma had smiled a lot during the conversation, but she also wondered about Henry's relationship with Regina. After last night, Emma considered for the first time that Henry's animosity toward Regina made her defensive and paranoid, which worsened her relationship with her son, which increased his animosity, which increased her paranoia . . . like a perpetual motion machine, the two fed off each other endlessly, making a bad situation worse every day.

She wondered if there was anything she could do about it.

"Good morning, Mr. Gold," she said.

"I wanted to congratulate you, by the way," he said jovially.

"On what?"

"Why, on your new relationship with the Mayor, of course. I wish you both the best."

Emma gaped at him. "You mean our working relationship?" she finally asked.

"I must confess, Sheriff," he said quietly, as if in confidence, "that word of your involvement with Regina has spread quickly."

"WHAT involvement?"

He chuckled. "No point in denying it, Emma. Everyone knows how you and the Mayor had dinner together last night at Granny's Diner, then went to a movie afterwards. AND that you're currently living together. It was absurdly easy to connect the dots. Fear not, Sheriff, it's the twenty-first century. No one will care that you're dating Regina."

Emma's brain shut down. She stared right through Mr. Gold. Wha . . . no . . . eh . . . er . . . does not compute . . .

If she'd been able to pay the least bit of attention to her surroundings, she might have noticed that Mr. Gold's smile bordered on malicious.

"Another time, Sheriff. Please do give your girlfriend my best."

Emma never even noticed him leave. She just stood there. Slowly her mind rebooted itself. That's ludicrous. He's just messing with me. All we did was have dinner! And then we went to a drive-in movie – which is apparently one of Ruby's favorite makeout spots. And then we drove home together. That's all.

Oh . . . FUCK.

Regina thought it quite odd when Emma entered her office backwards, like she had turned her head to watch some enormous conflagration but her feet were still carrying her in the other direction.

"Despite what you may have heard, Sheriff," she observed acidly, "I am not a Gorgon. You will not turn to stone if you look me in the eyes." Although it would be nice if Regina could do that.

Emma turned around, and Regina was startled by the paleness of her cheeks. "Has . . . " She coughed to clear her throat. "Has anyone been behaving differently around you today?"

Regina blinked. "What on Earth do you mean?"

"I had a run-in with Mr. Gold."

"Scared you, did he?" Regina said, smirking.

Emma swallowed visibly. "Yeah, he – he seems to think we're sleeping together."

Regina had witnessed everything, much of it by her own hand. None of these things had ever caused all the synapses in her brain to misfire. That did.

"Huh?"

If not the most intelligent thing Regina had ever uttered, it was the most appropriate.

"He thinks," Emma repeated with exaggerated slowness, "that we're sleeping together."

Regina laid her hands flat on the desk in front of her, and then stared at them for a minute while her higher cognitive functions came back online. "What did you do?"

"Me?"

"Well, it had to have been you! How could I have ever created such an impression?"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who suggested we eat out last night!"

Regina gaped at her. "Excuse me?"

Emma threw her hands in the air. "Everyone is apparently talking about dinner last night. And the movie afterwards. And the fact that I'm living with you."

"You are NOT living with us," Regina retorted, deeply offended. "You are a guest. A very, VERY temporary guest. And this is preposterous!"

"Yeah, you and I both know that," Emma said. "But everyone else? They all saw dinner and a movie. What the hell screams 'date night' more than dinner and a movie?"

Regina was flabbergasted.

"Me living at your house isn't helping either. It looks like U-Haul Syndrome."

"You what?"

Emma sighed. "You are so out of touch some times. It's a classic stereotype where two lesbians move in together after only a few dates."

"Does that really happen?"

"Well, how should I know? I don't know any lesbians! Possibly because I'm not a lesbian either."

"Neither am I!" Regina snapped. This was humiliating! That the town thought she . . . and Emma . . . she shuddered.

"And if I was," Emma added, "I sure as hell wouldn't be dating YOU."

"Of cour – what's that supposed to mean?"

Emma looked thrown off. "What?"

Regina stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "What do you mean you wouldn't be dating ME? I bet a lot of women would LOVE to date me."

"Regina – "

"Please, you'd be lucky to date me."

"Regina, I realize arguing with me is your instinctive response," Emma said, exasperated, "but could we please skip arguing over whether or not I should sleep with you?"

THAT brought Regina back to her senses. "Right. Of course," she replied. "You said Mr. Gold told you this? Have you discussed it with anyone else?"

"Well, no."

Relief blossomed in Regina's chest. "That's it then. I warned you what a superlative enemy he would make, Emma. Clearly he heard about last night, and then he spun some tall tale about the local gossip to mess with your head!" She shook her head and flashed her best condescending smile. "Oh, Sheriff, are you so easily manipulated?"

"Yeah, but – "

"But WHAT?"

Emma shrugged. "But nothing. I told you there were a lot of people at the drive-in last night. I thought maybe they . . . followed us from the diner."

Regina chuckled. "And you said I'M paranoid? Just forget about it, Sheriff. And do your job."

"Right," Emma muttered, turning to leave.

"And Emma?"

"What?"

"I – I hope we can forget about the things we said last night," Regina said softly. "After the movie. I may have – leapt to conclusions."

The words did NOT come easily, but the entire exchange had been quite upsetting, and in the light of day, Regina had acknowledged that any link between her and "Mama Fratelli" was tenuous at best. Besides, Emma HAD wanted to go to the drive-in even before she knew what was playing.

Emma looked shocked. "Wow," she said. "That's, um, very civilized of you."

"Mm-hm. Do you wish to apologize for anything as well?"

"Like what? Saying I'm not out to get you? I wouldn't call that an insult," Emma said dryly.

Regina glared at her. "You said I was self-centered and paranoid."

Emma shrugged. "If you can honestly tell me you're NOT self-centered, I'll take it back . . . but okay, maybe you're not as paranoid as I thought."

That wasn't quite what Regina had expected, but Emma walked out before she could press the sheriff.

And okay, maybe she was a LITTLE self-centered.

To be continued . . .