Chapter 8: Respect Your Elders

"How can you do this to us?" Shane shouted unexpectedly, shaking me from my train of thought. "How can you just throw us out there with those things?"

Hershel looked at him, with eyes full of anger.

"You aren't my responsibility anymore! My slate has been wiped clean!" he shouted back at him with the same intensity.

Shane was ready to yell right back at him, but Hershel turned toward the basement. He was pissed. Really pissed. He was angrier than I thought he could ever be. Maggie ran after him. I heard him yelling at her about leaving him alone. The door to the basement slammed closed and I heard his footsteps heading downstairs. Maggie came back, looking stressed out.

"He just needs some time alone." She said quietly, making her way to Glenn.

Shane's eyes burned with hatred. It almost made me flinch. My father often had that look in his eyes. Hell, sometimes Merle even had that look in his eyes. I subconsciously studied the others' faces. Some showed fear. Some showed sadness. Some of them even held pity. Pity. I chuckled internally. Go ahead. Pity him. You won't be feeling pity when we're out with the geeks again.

Time seemed to be moving extra slowly. Not many words were spoken. All of us kinda stood around listening to the walkers scratch at the walls of the house. It nearly drove me insane. Rick and Shane were arguing again in hushed voices when Patricia said,

"Are y'all hungry?"

Carl nodded. Nobody else responded to her, they just stared at her in surprise. Lori was the one who broke the silence.

"I don't know if Hershel would want you feedin' us."

Patricia thought for a little while. She pursed her lips and took a deep breath.

"I live here, and I have to respect his ideas, but I'm not gonna letcha go hungry." She said with a smile, "I'll go make us some lunch." She walked into the kitchen with Carol, Maggie and Lori following her.

I sat down at the table with a sharp pain in my temple. I felt the overwhelming urge to sleep right at the table, but somehow I felt that would make me weak. I winced at the throbbing in my head. Shane and Rick had resumed arguing and Glenn had started talking to T-Dog about some video game. My thoughts wandered to Dale and Andrea in the RV as my fingers ran over the spot where Andrea had shot me. From there, I got lost in my thoughts for what seemed like five minutes. But the time flew by and the women were calling us to eat.

"I should go grab Dad." Maggie said to Patricia as she walked out of the kitchen to the basement.

I followed behind everybody heading into the kitchen. Maggie wriggled past me. I let myself savor the scent of the food cooking in the kitchen. My mouth watered. As I leaned to pick up a plate, I heard a bloodcurdling scream. I whipped my head around and looked down the hallway. Hershel staggered toward his daughter as she ran towards me. A huge chunk of flesh was taken from his forearm and his eyes were bloodshot. Maggie rounded the corner into the kitchen and my hand flew to the knife in my belt.

He lunged at me as some of the others scrambled out of the kitchen. I plunged my knife in between his eyes with anger racing through my veins, through my mind. Maggie wailed, adding to the heat in my body. I stabbed him over and over again, muttering swears under my breath. I thought about Sophia. It was only for a second, but it was long enough to cause my blood to come to a boil. He knew. I gritted my teeth. He knew she was in that barn. He knew!

"You knew she was in the barn!" I shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders and throwing him into the wall.

I shoved my knife into the side of his head. He growled in pain. I grabbed him by the hair and smashed his skull against the wall until I felt it break. He became motionless. I dropped him to the floor and he laid there, broken and mutilated.

My eyes stayed glued to him as I fell against the wall, exhausted. My heart beat in my ears. With every beat, a searing pain was released through my skull. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. Instinctually, I snapped my head up. I had an audience.

I scanned the horrified faces of the people that had entered the room. None of them mattered except for Carol. She stood next to Lori with her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes. She was scared. Not of a walker – of me. She had the same fear of me in her that my mother had of my father. The same fear I had of Merle.

"Just try it." He says taking a puff of the joint.

"Nah, that stuff's nasty." My voice quivers. "It's not for me."

He makes a face.

"I knew ya didn't have it in ya." He laughs, nearly falling off the curb.

"Knock it off, will ya?" I say pushing his arm.

"Hey." He says, his head spinning, "Dun' touch me."

He's serious. He puts his face close to mine. His breath is foul.

"Go 'an 'n take it, if ya think you're man enough." He holds the cigarette to me.

I swipe the smoke from his hand, putting it to my lips. I take a deep breath and start wheezing.

"You'll get used to it." He says chuckling.

I feel sick. I hate that. I want to get everything out of my system. My stomach churns as I cough again. My throat is burning. He pats my back and says something I don't understand. I sit back up on the curb, breathing deeply. He holds it back out to me. He gives me a look that clearly says, You'd better take it. I roll the stick between my thumb and my index finger. Hesitantly, I take a puff. I let the smoke escape my mouth slowly, doing my best not to let him see that I'm forcing vomit back down my throat.

I looked down at Hershel. My thoughts buzzed. I didn't know what to say. Or think. Or do. The stench of the undead filled my nostrils. I stood up, repulsed. Nobody dared to say a word. Every single pair of eyes was on me.

A wave of realization washed over me. I started panicking. Where? Where? We had to take it down. I didn't have words to say, there was no time to explain. Gripping my knife, I ran toward the basement.

There's another walker in here.