Chapter 12: Night Air

Those next few days blurred together in a mix of funerals and fire. The acrid smell of the burning bodies lingered in my nostrils for days after the last pyre was put out. I was tired that night, as I laid in my tent staring up at the stars. That day was pretty exhausting.

I looked up at the sky and moved my hands behind my head. I let out a sigh. The stars were especially bright that night. It's kinda funny how they're always there – whenever, wherever. Generally, the stars were comforting to me – kinda like a safety blanket. My mind went sour when I started thinking about the night I hit my head. What happened? Hallucinations, is that all? Carol looked so afraid. I remembered the hands I felt on my face before I went out. They could only belong to her.

My thoughts came to a screeching halt when a shrill scream ripped through the night air. Without a doubt, it was Carol. I grabbed my knife, tore the tent flap open and raced toward her tent, hoping it was only one walker. I rushed into her tent to find no geeks, just a teary-eyed Carol.

"What're you doin' screamin' like that?"You scared me half to death.

I tried to make my voice sound irritated instead of terrified. She looked about as scared as I felt.

"I…I didn't…" She couldn't form words. "Nightmare." She said.

Her teeth were chattering. I crawled over to her and sat in front of her folded legs.

"What was it 'bout?" I said, trying to speak softly.

She looked down at her feet, blinking back tears.

"Ed? Sophia?" I questioned as gently as I could. "Walkers?"

Without looking up, she whispered, "You."

She began tracing patterns in the thin fabric separating us from the ground. My mouth started speaking before I could even register what I was saying.

"Me? What happened?"

She shook her head. She didn't want to tell me.

"Please." I said desperately, wishing I hadn't gotten out of my tent.

I was shocked that I was so scared. I would've left, but Carol needed to know that I was never ever gonna hurt her. I'd asked her to tell me, but I really didn't know if I could handle her telling me that she dreamt of me hitting her. I'm not afraid to admit I was terrified of what would come out of her mouth. I didn't want her to be afraid of me.

She hesitated, but spoke clearly, "You were one of them. You came for me. I couldn't stand seeing you – "

She stopped talking when I stood up. I was ready to leave. I didn't know how to react to that. She was scared of me turning, not of me hurting her. A huge wave of relief washed over me, and I guess I lost control. I swear my body was running on its own that night, because instead of leaving, I dropped to my knees and crawled behind her to hold her while she shivered. My arms wrapped around her tiny waist and I rested my head on her shoulder. She let out a few sobs and I held her tighter while her back heaved. After only a few seconds, I couldn't bear her crying and I slid way from her.

"C'mon, put on your shoes."

I grabbed her blanket and a pillow from the corner of the tent.

"Wh-where are we going?" She asked, her voice crackling as she slipped on her sneakers.

"I'm not gonna let you sleep alone anymore," I said gruffly as I exited her tent.

She stumbled out of the tent and fell into step next to me.

"Can't have you wakin' up the neighbors." I said playfully, a smile stretching across my face.

She giggled while we walked to my tent. I threw her pillow and her blanket to the left of my own and laid down again, resting my arms behind my head like I did before I heard her screaming. Wondering why she was taking so long to come over, I propped myself up to look at the entrance of the tent. She was taking her shoes off slowly and carefully, trying not to get anything dirty. I felt myself grinning. It was so like Carol to do that.

"What?" She asked when she looked up at me.

"Nothing," I muttered, as the smile faded disappeared from my face.

She disregarded my tone and crawled under her blanket beside me. What have I gotten myself into this time? She was turned away from me and her body curled up into a ball. I looked up at the sky again. The moon was directly overhead and it lit up the entire tent. I began to question if I'd don't the right thing by taking her in. I listened to her breathing slow while I stared up through my tent at the lights illuminating the darkness.

Carol suddenly turned over and looked at me. I almost jumped back from her I was so startled. She hadn't been sleeping at all, just breathing deeply. Judging from the look on her face, she was more surprised than me.

"I thought you were sleeping," she whispered.

"Nope," I said bluntly, turning over to look at her. "Can't sleep?"

"Nope," she said echoing my voice and turning to look at me too.

An idea popped into my head. As hard as I tried to shove it out of my mind, it kept coming back. It was like she knew what I was thinking. Maybe she saw it in my face; I don't know. Whatever it was, she scooted closer and I brought her to me. Her small hands pressed lightly into my chest and my arms wrapped around her. She let out a heavy sigh and slowly, she stopped trembling. She rested her head under my chin. My tense muscles loosened and I totally relaxed. My eyes flicked up to the sky one more time before her breathing lulled me into a dreamless sleep.