Title: Moped Romance [8/12]
Pairing: Axel/Roxas, background Riku/Sora
Warnings: Boys speaking Italian, language, Roxas being a whore, highly embarrassing moments, high-speed races through Roman traffic, Larxene, some recreational drug use, parents using Facebook. Special appearances by Axel's parents and Xemnas haha! Brief cameo by Reno. Oh, and epic amounts of exposition.
Rating: R.
Beta: myself, since the BetaWife and the BetaMistress are VACATIONING in LA (those whores). So any mistakes are my own failure in observation.
A/N: Inspired by experiences had by a good friend of mine while we were studying abroad in Rome, Italy, in the spring of 2009.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do get a kick out of writing for the fandom. I also do not own any of the songs mentioned; they belong to their respective artists and labels. In this chapter, some La Roux ~
Summary: Lost on the back alleys of Rome one night, Axel finds a savior in a young blond on a moped. A love story with subtitles.
In this chapter: Having returned safely from Amsterdam Axel attempts to reconcile his realization of time with his new take on his relationship with Roxas; however a resulting confession may destroy everything. Also, if you haven't read the Amsterdam chapter, please do! :D
Author's Note: So . . . I hope I didn't completely scare people away with the last chapter heh heh. I know it was a lot to handle for some ~ but it was so very much fun writing that chapter. I'd been waiting to post that. Anywhose, here is Track 8; I do not know when I'll be able to put 9 up just because I'll be playing Birth By Sleep until my thumbs bleed and then there's also grad school classes to worry about. No matter how long it takes, I will not abandon this fic. I will see you all through to the end, I promise – as long as no one kills me at the end of this chapter. And just for fun, originally this chapter used Lady GaGa's 'Paper Gangster' as a title ~ however I decided I liked this one better for the whole premise.
Cultural Note: carabinieri are the state police, who generally have a reputation for being kind of useless.
Track 8 – In For the Kill
We can fight our desires
But when we start making fires
We get ever so hot
Whether we like it or not
They say we can love who we trust
But what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions
And what are feelings without emotions?
It was sometime in early April that Axel realized he was taking Rome for granted, and hadn't realized he was doing so. Hanging out with Roxas and his Italian friends all the time, Axel had almost forgotten about their surroundings. It no longer seemed foreign to him, walking past ancient monuments and thousand-year-old ruins. Axel saw sites like the Vatican, Castle Sant'Angelo, Bernini's fountains, and the Coliseum almost every day . . . and he'd almost stopped seeing them, really and truly seeing them, weeks before. They had begun to mean nothing to him, not compared to the hot Italian number on his arm. When would he ever be able to nap in the Borghese gardens, watch Lazio v. Arsenal matches and scream like a bloody maniac with a Peroni in hand, sit in a bar eating pizza and chatting 'til all hours with drag queens – in America? Who would he practice Italian with, much less his 'naughty' Italian for which a partner was most definitely necessary?
It was early April.
And Axel realized, quite abruptly, that his stay was coming to an end in four weeks.
But when he voiced his sudden realizations to Roxas, who was curled comfortably at his side on the mattress, the blond was less than pleased.
In fact, Roxas was downright livid. He kicked Axel's shin rather viciously and turned over, struggling to extricate himself from their cocoon of blankets, growling in his murderous tone that made Axel want to shield his balls from the possibly impending impact.
What the hell? What did I say? Axel demanded, making a grab for the blond's arm.
"Why don't you go home?" Roxas asked peevishly, his emotion-stilted English and accent drilling a hole straight into Axel's heart. "All you will do is leave, so get out," he said, shrugging out of Axel's grasp and moving to stand.
"I'm not going yet!" Axel said, pulling Roxas back into bed. "I've still got a couple more weeks," he continued, trying to placate the protesting blond in his arms.
A couple more weeks, Roxas grumbled angrily under his breath, trying to escape Axel's embrace. Bullshit. Like that makes it any better.
Axel pulled the blond in closer despite his protests and Roxas flopped back on the mattress eventually, still pouting and grumbling about the situation. "Hey," Axel murmured his voice low and comforting as he hugged Roxas, snuggling into the crook of his neck. Roxas initially protested, that is until Axel began kissing and licking his neck and right behind his ear. Holding him closely, Axel could feel the tension and anger slowly ebb out of his body – he opened his mouth to say something, but clamped it shut decisively.
Axel had been waiting for the opportune moment to confess what he had realized in Amsterdam – despite having one hell of a pot hangover he had the few days after that little excursion Axel clearly remembered thinking, realizing, that he had fallen in love with the prickly blond. It had been at once the most terrifying, thrilling, amazing, and yet horrifying thought, one that Axel had been sure was purely the product of space cake. And yet upon further examination of the theory when they returned from the trip and Roxas jumped him, Axel realized that yeah, this feeling was absolutely, mind-blowingly real. And in realizing that it was indeed real, Axel started to obsess over telling him; it was all he could think about, finding a way to convey his feelings to the blond.
Four weeks, his mental self reminded him. Four weeks and you have to go back to Chicago.
Looking down at the currently content Roxas in his arms, Axel simply couldn't bear that thought.
This is what Larxene was talking about;Axel shoved that thought away as abruptly as it floated through his thought-filled mind. Now was definitely not the time.
I'm sorry, he murmured, his lips kissing the flesh on Roxas' neck. I didn't mean to upset you.
Roxas shifted grumpily in his arms. I know. Then he looked away, focusing his attention elsewhere around the room.
Hey, Axel said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he nudged Roxas and snuggled closer. You'll miss me, right?
At that moment, Roxas froze – his entire body seized up and felt like it was going to snap beneath Axel's fingertips. The sharp intake of breath did not go unnoticed by the redhead, who realized he'd made a mistake in his grammar and conjugation. Oh, sorry. That was NOT what he'd meant to say at all. You missed me, when I left for Amsterdam?
Roxas relaxed, but only slightly. Perhaps, he granted, his tone still a bit clipped for Axel to assume he was in enough of Roxas' good graces to touch him more.
You met me at the airport.
Coincidence.
Oh, you were picking someone else up at the airport and I just happened to be there?
Shut up, Roxas grumbled.
Axel took that as a 'yes I did, but I'm not going to admit it so cut your losses and drop it' and did not bring the subject up again; the last thing Axel wanted was to deal with a combative blond when all he could think about was telling Roxas he loved him. Even as he relaxed and fell back asleep his head pillowed on Axel's arm, the redhead figured that confession was for another day.
Four weeks were left until the end of the term, and the study abroad instructors were finally getting to Axel's name on the list of students for their 'mid-term check-in.' They'd started three weeks ago with Xion Avery, but thanks to scheduling conflicts and classes Axel's check-in was really more at the three-quarters mark. Axel himself had pretty much forgotten the whole thing and wouldn't have even known about it if the instructors hadn't ambushed him after Italian class one day.
"Xemnas will be doing your interview," the art history professor – he could never remember her name – informed him, indicating to the tall, broad shouldered muscle man next to her.
Axel nodded his head respectfully towards the other man. "Sure, that's fine with me."
"Great!" she said happily, clapping her hands together. "There's a very interesting thing I have to see at the Il Gesú . . ."
"I will make sure it gets done, Professor," Xemnas reassured her in his deep, imperious voice as she backed away in the direction of the front door.
Which left Axel standing a very conscious several feet apart from the white-haired professor he'd done everything to avoid so far. Not that Axel didn't like Xemnas, but he did find the man a bit unsettling.
"Well then," Xemnas said pleasantly, "why don't we go find a bar to chat?"
"Uh, sure," Axel shrugged.
Without further word Xemnas lead them out onto Via Governo del Vecchio and hung a left, taking them towards what Axel realized was Roxas' brother's bar. This could get interesting.
Tifa, ever the cheerful barista, greeted him enthusiastically when he entered, calling out his usual order even as she started to make it. Axel nodded and grinned, feeling a little bit more comfortable with the situation for some reason. Once his cappuccino was ready she motioned sternly for him to pay up after he was jokingly reluctant. Xemnas gave her his order, and she set about getting that ready.
"You know the bartenders here?" Xemnas asked mildly as he waited.
"Yeah," Axel said, taking a sip of his cappuccino. "I'm uh, dating her husband's younger brother."
"I see."
Axel shrugged. If Xemnas had a problem, he could take it up with Cloud and see where that got him. Tifa presented Xemnas with his latte and the older man handed over the few Euros before turning away from the bar to find a table to sit at. Axel followed him over to a table with two chairs, and sat across from him.
"So how has this experience been treating you?" Xemnas restarted the conversation as he settled himself in his seat. "Obviously you have made friends and acquaintances outside of the study abroad class."
"It's been really great," Axel said honestly. "I've learned a lot, I'm pretty well adjusted with living here, and I've had a lot of fun."
"Your Italian teacher informed me that you've made extensive progress on both your written and speaking tests, and that your grasp of the grammar and vocabulary has gone up exponentially."
"Helps to hang out with a bunch of native speakers who can tell me when I'm saying things wrong," Axel chuckled.
"Indeed," the man replied thoughtfully and indulgently, as though speaking with a wily child. Axel hated it when he did that. "How is the apartment setup working for you?"
"It's not so bad," Axel said. "I usually stay over at my boyfriend's apartment, though."
"Yes, Xigbar is quite ecstatic about having his own room, so I have heard."
"Yup, but otherwise everything's cool. No huge issues or anything."
"Are you looking forward to going home?"
Now that was a loaded question. Axel paused for a few moments, considering it and staring blankly at his coffee in the process. On one hand, yeah sure he was ready to go home. He missed his parents (hell, even his brother just a little bit) and his friends from home, and was looking forward to seeing them and recounting his tales, explaining some of the photos that were up on Facebook just a little bit more. That voice however, was drowned out for the most part by the emphatic and enthusiastic NO that had Roxas' voice.
The 'No' answer reminded him of all the fun he'd had with the blond and his friends, of his sudden realization that he loved the kid, and all the pleasantly tingly sensations that occurred somewhere in his midriff when reminded of this. It reminded him of how fucking happy he was with Roxas, and how he'd give almost anything to never leave. His heart lurched at the thought.
"I guess," he answered at length. "I really like it here, but I am looking forward to seeing my friends from home."
"Being romantically attached to someone here will definitely make the process of leaving more difficult. What does this person think of that upcoming development?"
"I don't think he likes it very much, to be honest. He got really pissed at me a few nights ago for mentioning it."
"Don't suppose he would. Are you two very attached, or rather, emotionally involved-"
"I don't really think that's your business," Axel said sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence. "It's not just about sex, if that's what you're implying."
Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "Obviously I've offended you. I assure you, that was not my intent. I was only trying to assess your relationship and how it might affect you as we prepare to leave Italy for the states."
Axel remained silent and sipped his drink.
"Well, I can see that my input is neither welcome nor needed. You are doing well in your classes and exceptionally well in Italian, and are quite well-adjusted to life here. I remember you had just a touch of culture shock at first, but you seem more yourself. You know about the class trip to Florence this weekend, correct?"
Oh yeah. Axel nodded his ascent briefly.
"Then good luck in the last few weeks of the term, Axel." With that Xemnas removed himself from the table, leaving his now-empty cup on the bar and the tinkle of the bell over the door in his wake.
As Axel contemplated the swirling thoughts in his head, he vaguely heard the sounds of heeled boots sauntering up behind him. Then he felt the weight of a hand on the back of his chair.
"What was that about?" Tifa asked, looking over his head at the door.
"The end of the semester," Axel answered.
"You should talk with him," Tifa said a few moments later, rather abruptly; she didn't need to say she was talking about Roxas.
"I don't know if he'll want to listen," Axel said hollowly.
Tifa patted his shoulder gently. "If it's you, he will." Then she left, her boots clicking along the wooden floor as she took her place behind the bar again.
Finally deciding he'd had quite enough of this shit Axel headed over to his school apartment just to pick up a few things before heading to Roxas' later. Maybe he'd even get to hang out with Demyx in the meantime, he mused while sitting on the relatively crowded bus in the general direction of his apartment.
After coming back from Amsterdam Axel found himself hanging out and talking with Demyx a great deal more; his best friend was now privy to a secret, the revelation of his feelings for Roxas and the intense feelings surrounding that confession. All in all Demyx was pretty cool about it, as supportive as he could be given the circumstances.
Axel walked into Demyx's bedroom and found him leaning back against the railing of the patio, sitting in a dangerously tilted chair with his head lolling back and his arms splayed bonelessly off to the side. And . . . there was a hand-rolled joint held loosely between his fingertips.
Demyx had somehow smuggled pot into Rome from Amsterdam, and was smoking out on their little porch area for the entire world to see.
"Demyx!" Axel shouted, waving his hand in front of his nose to get rid of the smell now permeating the room.
"'Sup," Demyx answered lazily, though as far as Axel could see his friend had not moved a single muscle in answering.
"Are you an idiot? Get out of the window, do you want the landlady to smell it and call the Carabinieri? You'll get arrested, dumbfuck, and I can't bail you out!" The redhead tried to drag Demyx back inside, but the other boy's body was practically lead weight. Sensing a different tactic was available, Axel plucked the joint from his friend's hands and stubbed it out on the window sill, while Demyx looked on vaguely scandalized.
"You . . ." was all he managed to murmur, which given his current state was actually pretty good. "Bastard."
"Shut up," Axel growled, dragging Demyx' chair inside and shutting the window behind him. Then he crossed his arms and glared at the mohawked blond. "If you're going to smuggle drugs, you could at least share the stash."
Demyx didn't answer for a while as he processed this new development. When he did however, he looked up at Axel with an innocent, wide-eyed expression and offered the redhead his cigarette lighter. "Peace offering?" he said several seconds later.
Axel grinned, and lit up.
Two hours later, the joint was long gone and Axel and Demyx were singing an a cappella duet to Lady GaGa's "Paper Gangster." Demyx had a bath towel wrapped around his head and was wearing large black sunglasses while Axel rapped into a hairbrush and paid no mind to his being strapped into Olette's bra once more.
"Hey," Demyx said blandly, breaking off from his singing while Axel was attempting to beat box to an entirely different tune. "Hey, Axel. 'member you were talking about love and Roxas back at the museum? Remember that?"
"Ha ha, you said 'member,'" Axel teased him. Because really, that was pretty funny.
"Shut up, you sound like you're five," Demyx giggled. "No, no, you said you loved 'im."
Axel paused to consider this, the cogs in his brain going very slowly before light dawned. "Oh yeah, I did. Pretty cool, right?"
"Think you really do?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."
"That's really deep, man," Demyx responded after a brief pause.
"I think you said that last time," Axel said lazily, completely unconcerned. Just thought he'd throw that out there.
"Well yeah, cause it is. That's kind of crazy, man. Falling in love with your own little Italian boy."
Axel's answer was a wide, self-satisfied smirk, rather a grin that reached almost ear to ear, and a low, secretive chuckle.
"You got it bad."
"No," Axel piped up, "I got it good," he corrected with a chuckle.
All remnants of the previous afternoon's misadventure gone, Axel and Demyx made a bee-line for the Abbey Theatre pub so they could snag a prime wi-fi spot near the bar after class; Axel had barely been on his computer, much less the internet in the last week with everything just being crazy, so he expected there were a bunch of messages he'd have to look through. Sure enough, there were demands for pictures on his Facebook whose notices clogged up his inbox, and even more comments on the pictures he'd already posted before leaving for Amsterdam. There was also a reminder about signing up for classes for the fall semester, something Axel hadn't even given a huge amount of thought to yet. As he was starting to look through the catalog an incoming call box popped up from Skype, telephone icon shaking as the call came through; Axel felt a little bit of dread creep up his spine – the caller ID read 'Mom.'
He clicked the 'accept' button instantly, and a large video window opened up on his desktop, displaying not only his mother but also his father sitting right beside her. Long brown hair in a braid as usual, Aerith was pouting in a way that was both admonishing and relieved – a trait all moms probably had to acquire before having children, her own brilliant green eyes narrowed. Axel grinned uneasily.
"It's about time," Aerith huffed. "We've been trying to reach you forever."
"Thought maybe you'd forgotten how to use the computer," his father Zack chuckled, ever the easy-going guy. He was reclined back in his chair, arms folded back behind his head and mostly obscured by his spiky black hair; he was surveying Axel more calmly than his wife, with more of a hint of amusement at the situation. "Then we realized that no, you were probably too busy being high and putting up pictures from your trip into the sex museum to remember to call us."
Oh. Right. Dad had a Facebook – which he barely knows how to use, but enough to stalk him just a little.
"Um. Hi Mom, hi Dad," Axel waved, watching as the tiny video feed his parents could see mirrored his movement belatedly. He cleared his throat, hoping to skip over the subject of Amsterdam with them. "How are things?"
"Just wonderful," his mother gushed, her angry demeanor vanishing, clearly just overjoyed to finally get him over Skype. "Excited to come home?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Don't get too excited there," his father snorted. "Might hurt yourself."
"No, I am excited to come home and see everyone," Axel attempted to explain. "I just . . . you know, I like it here."
"Is it because of that boy you're seeing?" Aerith suddenly asked, her excitement betrayed in her facial features and tone of voice.
"Wait, what?"
"Reno told us you were seeing someone," his mother said, looking at him with hope in her eyes.
"Fuck, Reno," Axel growled. When his mother shot him an admonishing stare Axel couldn't help but look cowed. "Sorry. I was hoping to tell you myself so you didn't get any adulteration from Reno."
"He was actually pretty excited about it," Zack said. "In a good way," he amended.
Axel scowled, thinking about how he could dodge this whole topic with his parents. They'd never been anything but supportive of Axel, bolstering him as he came out to friends and family and accepting him for everything he was and wasn't. Despite all of this, Axel just didn't really want to discuss the subject of his Italian boyfriend with them.
His mother, however, didn't seem to care. "Oh come on Axel! What's he like? Give just that much, hm?"
Axel sighed through his nose. "He's a really cool guy. I like him a lot, we have a lot of fun together. As long as you're going to Facebook-stalk me, he's the short blond in the pictures."
"Ooh, jackpot," Zack said under his breath and leaned in closer to the computer; Axel assumed he was now looking through his photos on Facebook looking for any pictures of Roxas.
"Well, while your father looks for dirt, you may as well talk with me," his mother said with a cheerful grin. "So you really like him, huh?"
Axel nodded. "Yeah. I could really get used to him being around a lot more, you know."
Aerith gave him a small, sad smile. "Leaving's going to be really hard, I think."
Axel cleared his throat again. "Yeah, not exactly looking forward to that. But I guess we'll see what happens."
"As long as you're staying safe."
"No Mom," Axel deadpanned, "didn't you hear? The Pope officially banned the use of condoms, and they're almost impossible to get on the black market so Roxas and I have unprotected sex all the time."
"That's not funny!"
"What, you know I'm smarter than that."
"You walked right into that one," Zack muttered to his wife, eyes still focused on the Facebook webpage. "Aha! Found him. Oh look, he's-"
"Jailbait!" Another voice chimed in from the other side of the Atlantic, and a blur of movement that occurred between his parents dropped in closer to reveal Reno.
That bastard.
"Ok, so I totally revise my earlier statement about payment and all that," Reno said with an evil grin. "You lured him with candy, didn't you?"
"I'm going to hang up now," Axel growled.
"Reno!" Aerith scolded, pushing him back out of the frame. There was a pause in the discussion as Reno escaped from the room, somehow unscathed, while his mother followed.
"Well, I was going to say he looked cute," Zack said a few moments later. "Wouldn't necessarily go so far as 'jailbait' – how old is he?"
"Seventeen."
"Alright, a few years younger. Never would have pictured you as the cradle-robbing type."
"I could say the same for you."
"Hey now, you know I'm only kidding. He sounds like a good kid, can't complain about my son being happy."
Axel rubbed the back of his head, ruffling red spikes. "Thanks, Dad."
"Don't mention it. Now say goodbye to your mother, she has to get to school."
His mother had indeed flitted back onto the video feed, dressed for her day in an elementary school classroom. She waved and blew him a kiss. "It was wonderful talking with you sweetie," she said, smiling brilliantly.
"You too, Mom. Have fun teaching the little runts."
"There was a time you were that size too, you know," Aerith shot back. "Eons ago, but still. And try to call us more, we miss talking with you."
"I know, I apologize. It's been busy."
"You're getting out and experiencing new things though, right?"
"Yes," Axel answered confidently. "Roxas is even teaching me how to cook."
"Oh, is that his name? Interesting. But good! Now you can do some of the cooking at home!"
"Mom . . ."
"I've always wanted to try some authentic Italian food," his mother mused.
"Bye, Mom," Axel said, chuckling and waving to her. Aerith looked like she might add something else, but waved it away and rushed out the door.
"This is where I'll take my leave as well," Zack said, looking like he was holding back a massive yawn. "My morning caffeine calls."
"Alright, Dad. I'll talk with you later."
"See ya," he said, and the video call ended. Axel abruptly became aware that there was a body standing right beside him – Sandro, in fact – holding a plate of bruschetta and fixing him with a raised eyebrow, his eyes darting to the computer screen every few seconds.
"'Sup," Axel prompted him, reaching for the plate.
"Your family is kind of weird," Sandro replied after a few beats, pulling the bruschetta out of his hands. "Uh uh, you didn't order anything."
"That's what I usually get; I thought you were just bringing it over here."
"Nope. I was just eavesdropping. Sam'll get it."
Axel didn't send Sam back with an order, though; he was too busy turning over this whole thing with Roxas in his head. His parents approved of him, but in reality they would probably never get the chance to meet him, he thought bitterly. And Axel, well, Axel loved him, but the reality of four weeks left in the semester was starting to sink in.
Axel decided there that, come hell or high water, he was going to tell Roxas.
Amsterdam had been, flat-out, one of the craziest things Axel had done in a long time, specifically since arriving in Italy. Normally, at home anyway, he wasn't afraid to get out there and do something unusual – but being in Rome had required some adjustment. The awareness that this was a wholly new culture and way of life had really impacted him at the start, and he was left trying to be as cautious as was possible for him in the new environment. But now, getting used to Roman life with Roxas' guidance had allowed him to come out of his shell more and really, truly enjoy the experience. He knew he was getting the more authentic side of things; rather than getting shit-faced at a predominantly American bar, he was at a Roman one, enjoying not only his drink but also the company he kept. Axel had even surpassed Zexion in terms of fluency, and couldn't help but show off his skills just a little bit once in a while.
But on the subject of craziness, Axel kind of figured that maybe he was a Roman in a past life. Laid-back about life in general, but spontaneous enough to just do things for the hell of it. Roxas was a pretty spontaneous person as Axel found out, and he enjoyed every minute of it. It was an intoxicating mix of lifestyles, savor your drink for as long as you want but race and battle through traffic once you're finished, take your time but get here as fast as you can – it was something Axel came to thrive on. Roxas may or may not have figured this out, but Axel decided it was probably business as usual as far as the blond was concerned.
So nevertheless when Roxas showed up on the ubiquitous moped after Axel's Italian class was over, honking the tinny horn and waving him over, Axel figured there was probably an adventure in store for them. Hitching his bag over his shoulder once again Axel waved goodbye to his roommates and walked over, noting that Roxas already had the redhead's helmet out waiting for him.
Hop on, Roxas said with a devilish grin. We're going to the beach.
Axel paused and cocked his head, taking a moment to fully assess this announcement. First of all, Roxas did not look like he was heading to the beach at all; he looked more like he was headed to a concert or maybe a club when the weather was cooler. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and his sneakers, then also his leather jacket, a scarf, and the big black sunglasses Axel sometimes teased him for. There was no beach gear, not that there was any place to carry such a thing on a moped, and there was still a cool breeze on the air – virtue of it being spring in Rome.
The beach? Axel clarified.
Roxas nodded emphatically. Hayner, Olette and Pence are already on their way. Let's go!
Then Axel wondered why he was even questioning it, shrugged, and put his helmet on. Roxas revved up the engine and took off once Axel was securely holding on to him, plowing right into Corso Vittorio traffic and bursting out in the right lane. The traffic was something Axel would probably never really get used to; the burst of adrenaline from dodging buses and near misses involving SmartCars notwithstanding, Axel knew he never wanted to be behind the wheel here.
The trip in and of itself took about an hour; Roxas even had to stop at a petrol station to fill up, leaving Axel wondering if they should have just taken the train.
After he voiced this thought, Roxas looked scandalized. We are taking the scenic route!
(Read: Sure the train is safer, but near-death experiences are so much more entertaining.)
What were you up to earlier? Roxas shouted over the roar of the Vespa's engine.
I got a call from my parents, Axel answered. Talked with them for a while, then my brother called in to check on me.
Roxas nodded shortly a few moments later, when he'd processed that information.
It was a little while after that when Axel was hit with the salty air that came along with an ocean, and through the spaces between buildings Axel could catch a glimpse of the canvas-colored beach and the dark blue waves rolling lazily. He could also see that the beach was mostly empty, devoid of umbrellas and blankets; there were a few people walking along the shore, but very few in the first place. Roxas pulled off to the right and slowed into a parking space next to a small bar. Leaving their helmets with the bike, Roxas led him down a narrow ramp, the other end of which was buried in sand.
Take your shoes off, the blond advised, already untying his.
Luckily they were able to find Pence, Olette and Hayner pretty quickly; following the struggling kite halfway in the sky to its source worked pretty well in that endeavor. They had a few blankets already set up, and like Roxas none of them appeared to have brought any bathing suits – so Axel's thoughts of being without something important quickly dissipated. Roxas picked a blanket and plopped down on it, engaging in light conversation with Olette in between teasing comments to Hayner about not being able to get his kite up.
Well if you're not going to help, I wouldn't be saying anything, Hayner said, mimicking Roxas' teasing tone.
I'm fine right here, Roxas answered innocently as Axel sat cross-legged next to him. Hayner made a face and refocused his work on the kite.
They sat on the blanket for a while, amusing themselves stage-whispering about their friends' progress with the kite until Axel got bored and suggested they go for a walk along the beach for a bit. They left their shoes and socks with the blankets, and rolled up their pants before starting out. It was a windy afternoon on the waterfront, and the two boys strolled at the water's edge hand in hand while the chilly foam caught at their ankles. Roxas had even zipped up his leather jacket against the breeze.
It's usually warmer than this, he remarked sulkily. If it were warmer we could go swimming.
It is kind of cold, Axel agreed, suppressing a shudder. It was definitely warmer earlier when you came to pick me up.
Roxas shrugged, not needing to elaborate on the odd change in weather any more. Instead they continued walking, Axel enjoying the feel of Roxas' warm hand enclosed in his and the idle way the pad of Roxas' thumb stroked over the side of Axel's hand. It felt good, just being together like this. The blond seemed to be contemplating something, and fortunately for Axel he didn't have to guess for very long.
You said you were talking with your brother, Roxas said, turning his head to peer up at Axel through his sunglasses. I didn't know you had a brother.
Really? Axel asked after a pause; it seemed ludicrous that he could get away with never mentioning and/or complaining about his older brother for the entire time he and Roxas had been together.
You've never mentioned him, Roxas elaborated.
Axel shrugged. Not really much to say. He's my older brother. Has about eight years on me. His name is Reno.
Roxas' eyes crinkled up as he tested the name out on his tongue. Reno. That's kind of an odd name.
Says the kid named 'Roxas,' Axel joked.
The blond responded with an elbow to Axel's ribs.
It's a city in Nevada, one of the states, Axel explained, laughing.
What's he like?
Axel thought long and hard about the answer, pondering the person he'd been forced into a fraternal bond with for all of twenty years. He recalled memories of Reno stealing pretty much everything as a kid. Being eight years his senior Reno never really cared much for the new addition; he was so used to being the only child at that point. Axel learned how to be quicker and sneakier than his brother, otherwise he'd be blamed for the trail of mud over the carpets or he'd be left without a brownie to secretly swipe from under their mother's nose. They developed a fairly competitive rivalry over the years, always attempting to outdo each other. Aerith barely tolerated it, but Reno insisted that was how they . . . bonded. He's a dick.
Roxas barked a laugh and leaned his forehead against Axel's arm as he shook with the force of his giggles.
No, really, Axel continued, feeling the need to both justify himself and express his lifelong annoyance with his brother. That's what he is. He's all dick and no brains – or what's left of his brains exists in his dick.
He can't be worse than my brother, Roxas offered, and Axel almost interjected with a curious 'why?' but the blond kept talking. Tell me about him.
Ok. Well, he looks just like me, all except for the hair and his tattoos.
And he's eight years older than you?
Axel nodded. He's got this weird mullet sort of thing going on, it's usually in a ponytail. And his tattoos on his cheeks are like this- he made a curved horizontal motion with his fingers across his cheeks –rather than mine.
He sounds like an interesting guy. And if he could still pass for being so young, maybe you will someday as well, Roxas teased. The mullet might be a bit much, though.
He wanted me to bring him back some pot from Amsterdam.
Are you serious? Roxas asked through incredulous laughter.
Axel nodded vigorously. He likes to try and get me in trouble. But I'd get arrested, and I really don't want to try and maneuver the Italian judicial system. Demyx brought some back with him, not sure how exactly he managed it.
Yes, it's a very risky thing for Americans to do here, Roxas agreed. But sometimes very worth it. Then his eyes narrowed playfully. He likes getting you into trouble?
Yup. Ever since we were kids. He'd nick cupcakes and blame it on me, stuff like that. I learned to do it right back, though.
Roxas seemed very intrigued by the concept of Axel's family back in the states, and continued the line of questioning about the rest of them until Axel decided to turn the tables. He had a vague idea about what might be Roxas' family from that newspaper article they'd found weeks ago, but otherwise the blond had been extremely tight-lipped about the situation.
Now, what about you? Axel asked. I know you have an older and a younger brother, but you never really talk about the younger one. Why not?
Instead of answering immediately Roxas stopped and stared, hard, out at the ocean. Finally, when Axel was about to prompt him a second time he spoke up. He betrayed me, he said quietly. He betrayed me, and I'll never forgive him for that.
What happened? Axel asked cautiously.
Roxas sighed through his nose. It is a long story. Kind of melodramatic, too.
So? Tell me anyway.
Promise not to repeat this to anyone? the blond demanded emphatically.
Of course.
Roxas paused before starting, mouth set in a thin line and brows furrowed as he tried to describe a possibly crazy situation in vocabulary Axel would be able to comprehend. Ok. Uh, it's like you said, I have an older half-brother and a younger one too. You met Cloud. The other is younger by a year, and that's Sora.
Axel had a sudden recollection of surfing the web and Facebook for Roxas, but finding only a teenage boy with spiky brown hair and eyes very much like Roxas' – his Facebook profile picture taken at a beach, his mouth open as if in the middle of speaking, a girl with dark red hair wearing a bikini kissing his cheek. He'd listed his last name as being the same as Roxas' . . . but his first name, Axel definitely remembered now, had been Sora. Could that really be Roxas' brother?
Anyway, Roxas continued, sounding weary, my mother was actually my father's second wife. Cloud's mother died when he was young, and our father started seeing my mother. They never married though, so that was where a problem started. Cloud is the only legitimate child my father has, but we all lived together early on. Cloud moved here to Rome to attend university, and never really came back. He married Tifa a few years ago. But with Cloud gone Sora and I were left together. It wasn't a bad thing at first, we were pretty close – or at least I thought we were. Then he started confiding in me that he thought about our gardener's son all the time, and that he thought he might really like him. He was worried it was a sin, liking another boy, and asked me if he was going to hell.
How old were you guys at this point?
I was fourteen, almost fifteen, so he was thirteen. So he was starting to be curious.
So what did you tell him? Axel asked seriously. He couldn't imagine Roxas giving his younger brother an affirmative answer to that question.
I knew I was gay by that point, or at least had a pretty good idea I didn't much like girls. I had my first kiss with a boy at our school, we'd kissed in one of the classrooms after school. So I told him it was ok, and told him about my experiences. He was kind of shocked, but it ended up being ok between us. We were good friends as well as brothers.
So . . . what happened?
Roxas paused again, licking his lips nervously. My father came to visit. He didn't live with us usually, he spent most of his time running between Genoa and Rome, and would visit us when he could. Sora was the apple of his eye, he could do no wrong. Now something – I never figured out what – tipped him off that at least one of his boys liked other guys, and he wasn't happy at all. He thought it was a sin, but that was a lesson we'd both worked hard to ignore. But anyway I came home one night and he was all over me, demanding to know what vile lies I had been planting in my brother's head. He said I would disgrace him and the church I claimed to belong to. He was beating me around, practically chasing me around the house, and Sora just stood there. He wouldn't look at me, not when it was happening and not after. I got so angry, so I threatened to tell people my father was keeping a mistress in our secluded little villa – it would damage his reputation more than discovering one of his illegitimate children was gay. A mistress and two bastard kids? He'd be ruined. My father thought I was bluffing, but the next day I started talking. It was spiteful and horrible, but I did it. Roxas paused once more, withdrawing his hand from Axel's to cross and rub his leather-clad arms. Reporters came. Sora knew it was me, and probably told my father as soon as he could. I hurt him too, telling people about it. So I ran away before my father could show up again, took a train to Rome and lived with Cloud. He was married at that point and didn't need me hanging around, so he offered to use the monthly stipend he received from my father – which was bigger now that I was out of the picture – to get me an apartment of my own. I got my roommates together too so it was easier on the rent. And so, here we are.
They had stopped somewhere along the way during Roxas' story; now white noise from the waves consisted of all the sounds between them, the blond standing there stiff and cold now that he was finished. Axel himself felt cold; the whole thing sounded horrible to have to deal with, and we was almost shocked that the article they had found could be traced back to Roxas himself. Axel shifted towards Roxas, arms moving from their static position at his sides to pull the blond into an embrace, only to have Roxas recoil.
I don't want your pity, he growled.
Axel invaded his space anyway, muttering It's not pity, it's just a hug before pulling Roxas into his arms and just holding him there despite the stiffness in Roxas' body. The redhead kissed him on the cheek, his lips lingering there and begging him to just relax. 'I've got you,' Axel thought and almost said. 'I love you' caught in his throat and never made it to his lips, his heart skipping again and that probably wasn't healthy, all these heart palpitations disrupting blood flow.
Eventually Roxas relaxed, burying his face briefly into the material of Axel's jacket over his heart before reluctantly pulling away. He smiled painfully but shrugged the whole last ten minutes off, looking for another distraction. Let's go help them get the kite in the air, he said, grabbing Axel's hand and starting for the other direction.
By 'help' you mean 'sabotage', right? Axel clarified, chuckling at his sudden burst of energy.
Of course not! Roxas protested, but that sly, evil grin was back and Axel knew what his plans entailed. I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing to my friends, after all.
I know exactly what you mean.
We should take off in a little bit, the blond said abruptly a few moments later. Go find some dinner, maybe sit out and wait for the sun to rise.
Axel leered. Sounds like someone's feeling romantic. This turn of events might just fall in his favor; this could end up being the moment he was waiting for.
Shh, you're going to ruin my reputation.
Wouldn't dream of it.
They stayed at the beach all through the afternoon until the sky started getting darker and they decided it was time to head back into the city. Deciding he didn't really feel like fighting traffic all the way back to Rome, Roxas opted to just take the moped on the train and drive it from there. Luckily the train didn't have many riders, so it wasn't an issue when the old white moped was propped up in front of Roxas, the blond's booted feet up on the leather seat of the vehicle. Roxas was leaning comfortably against Axel, and the redhead was more than ok with this. He figured there was probably an overload of cute going on between them, considering the leaning and the hands folded together on Axel's thigh.
Dinner was at a little pizza place Axel had never been to before, but it was near the train station so it was pretty conveniently placed. They ate and drank their fill, with Axel reminding himself to truly enjoy the food since he wouldn't be able to continue eating after his four weeks were up. Finally as it neared ten they talked about leaving; Roxas was now dead-set on going out to watch the sunrise, while the others were more interested in heading to another bar to watch whatever match was on. So they paid their tab and headed off in their respective directions.
Roxas drove them up to the park on top of the hill overlooking the Vatican and the entire city; even though it was still dark out, the bright night-time lights of the city illuminated enough for Axel to pick out the Vatican, the Victor Emmanuel monument, and Castle Sant'Angelo, among others. He suddenly remembered their drawing instructor had brought their class up here to sketch the city one day, since one could see almost everything. The blond parked the moped up near a tree, and they settled on the rock wall to watch the stars and look out over the city. Axel sat with his legs dangling over the other side of the wall, while Roxas laid against the stones on his back and rested his head in Axel's lap. They chatted quietly, passing the hours and enjoying the cool night breeze and the breathtaking view of the city at nighttime. Occasionally they got distracted by each other's lips and occupied themselves with those activities for a while, but as the hours started climbing towards the sunrise they sat filled with quiet anticipation of the event.
A perfect night, Roxas commented a bit later, the words taking shape from a contented sigh. The first glimpses of light on the horizon were just beginning to peak.
Roxas was right, Axel realized. It was a perfect night. The air was cool but comfortable, their stargazing unobscured and undisturbed, and he couldn't complain about the company. Axel felt that incredible swooping sensation in his stomach again, then felt his heart skip a beat; could he tell him? It was a perfect night, maybe this was the perfect moment. Suddenly Axel felt sick, like he was going to vomit spectacularly from the sheer force of his nerves and fear and hit the Pope and get himself banned from Rome. Axel wanted to say it right, wanted to get it perfect. He felt oddly overwhelmed, by this new sensation of really and truly falling hard for this boy, and the fear – the nerves threatening to stop all heart and brain function on the spot. All this made Axel feel a bit silly; he knew Roxas cared about him, maybe even loved him too, enough that he enjoyed Axel's company more than others and seemed willing to be more forgiving if Axel was involved as well. The swell in his heart when he thought about all this clicked in his mind for what might've been the hundredth time: he wanted this to last forever.
Small rays of light began prickling over the horizon, soft yellows falling over the edges of the city to the east. It was one of the most beautiful sights Axel had seen in his entire life.
He looked down and saw a hand clasped within his, and the look of extraordinary wonder on Roxas' face.
Yes, his heart and mind sang, all to the furious pounding beat of his heart. It resonated in his bones and in his blood, and maybe this was why people used to say that all roads led to Rome. This was it. He'd been studying, memorizing the correct way to say it, and now it was time he was able to tell Roxas exactly what had been on his mind since Amsterdam.
As the sun continued its slow ascent over the edges of the city, Axel swallowed, bit his lip . . . opened his mouth and took a small, shuddering breath before he spoke.
I love you.
Roxas stilled and turned his gaze upwards to furrow his brow at the redhead. "Huh?"
Axel cleared his throat again, heart pounding erratically in his ears. He repeated what he had said, as Roxas slowly rose to a sitting position and twisted around to look at him.
As the words sank in, the blond stiffened and pulled away abruptly.
Roxas stared at him in silence, eyes wide, his face cast in shadow as the sun continued its slow ascension. Axel watched as he swallowed uncomfortably and set his mouth in a firm line. What did you say? he asked, voice sounding shaky and unsure.
Well now Axel was scared shitless. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? "Ti voglio bene." I love you.
Axel had barely gotten the words out before Roxas twisted himself back over the rock wall and started stalking towards the moped, parked under a bunch of trees.
"What the – Roxas!" Axel shouted, pulling himself back over the wall and after the blond, his long legs taking him further and allowing him to catch up. What did I - he began to ask, but was cut off when a fist collided with his jaw. Which for the record, since Roxas had a killer right hook, fucking hurt. Axel recovered quickly, though. "What the hell!" he demanded, his hand coming up to assess the damage to his cheek. "What the hell was that for?"
Roxas, for his part, was standing not two feet away now, his hands curled in fists as he seethed. Do you even know what you're saying?
Yes! Axel said forcefully. Yes, I do! I thought . . . I thought it was a good thing.
Roxas gave a roar of frustration and anger, rather than the more pleasant reaction Axel had hoped for. How can you say that?
Axel blanched, unsure what to do with that question. Because I do, he said quietly, and I've been trying to find the right time to tell you –
There is no right time! Roxas cut him off, his expression murderous now. I'd rather never hear it! Then the blond wheeled around, fumbling with his helmet and not even bothering with the clasp as he mounted the bike. It ends now.
Well that hit Axel like a speeding semi. Woah, wait – Roxas – he said as he reached out to touch his – former? – lover.
Roxas recoiled spectacularly and smacked his hand away. Expression still murderous. Don't touch me. He revved up the engine on the bike and sped away without a second glance, leaving Axel alone on the hill, a beautiful sunrise gone unnoticed in the background; leaving Axel alone, with a cancerous emptiness growing deep in his chest, and the near certainty of Roxas' absence for the rest of his time in Rome. Alone, and wondering how the three most heartfelt and honest words he might've ever uttered could have brought him to this.
*keyboard SMASH* ok now, off to visit the Wife & Mistress before I get BBS. I hope you all stay with me Still four more chapters to go~