Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Hi guys, here things get interesting!

I also have a bit of news, I got into University! While good for me this means I will have less time to update regularly, it maybe every two weeks or so until I settle in, but for now I'll just let you read on.

Chapter 11 ~ With the state I'm in, I can't help myself

Jacob POV

Knocking on Riley's front door, he answered a few seconds later, already dressed to go.

"Hey Jake" with a kiss on my cheek he locked his door and we went to the car. "What time does the movie start?"

"6:20pm, we have plenty of time" I replies as I started the engine and pulled out onto the main road, while a hush fell between us. Turning the radio on we exchanged pleasantries to fill the silence, but we soon ran out of things to say.

Just to fill the awkward silence I started to talk about the weather, the fricking weather. Considering we live in Seattle all we get is rain, light rain, heavy rain its all the same thing, you know you're in trouble when the only thing you can talk about is rain.

Eventually I turned up the music loud enough that it didn't allow for conversation. When we arrived at the movies, I went to get the tickets and Riley went to go get the popcorn for us.

Walking away from the cashier with the tickets, I spied Riley chatting to a familiar face, to be specific Bella and Edward. Bella and Riley were the ones chatting away while Edward looked down at his watch.

"Hi Jacob!" called out Bella as I approached, Edward looked at me a small smile on his face that disappeared the moment I stood next to Riley, he took my hand and smiled at me. Edward's gaze flickered down to our intertwined hands and then back to Bella as she continued to talk about the movie.

"Let's all sit together" chimed Bella, when Riley told her we were watching the same movie as them.

"Bella, I think Riley and Jacob came here on a date, maybe they'd rather be alone" I could tell that he was very uncomfortable, I knew him well enough to tell as his jaw clenched or he pinched the bridge of his nose, uptight as he was he did this a lot.

"It's fine we don't mind, do we Jake?" he squeezed my hand and I shook my head.

"Not at all, we should go to our seats the movie is about to start" going inside as the lights went down, somehow I ended up in the seat in between Edward and Riley, in a move that I didn't think was accidental.

As the opening credits started I got a strong sense of déjà vu, this situation was a lot like the time at Alice's performance at the theatre. How different this was though, in a few weeks we had gone from being friends to...to I don't quite know what.

Were we friends with benefits or lovers, for lack of a better term. Looking to my left I saw Riley who was deeply engrossed in the film, after my wreck of a relationship with Paul he was good for me. He was kind and stable, we didn't have the horrible rows I had had with Paul, he was...the safe option.

Turning my head to my right I saw Bella talking in his ear, he nodded intently concentrating on what she said, putting his hand on her knee as she kissed his cheek. They smiled at each other sweetly and I felt angry for some reason, I had no right to feel resentment for Bella, so why did I?

Looking back at Riley he turned and smiled at me before turning to the screen, it wasn't until the end of the movie when I realised what it was. I was jealous of Bella, I realised it when out of the corner of my eye I could see them, he would reach over an brush some hair off her face and she would lean her head on his shoulder.

I was jealous because I was...I was in love Edward. Oh...shit. Catching myself off guard with that realisation, I kept my eyes glued to the screen for the last few minutes of the movie. Trying my best to ignore how close he was to me, his knee accidentally brushing against mine every so often, ignore my every impulse to reach out touch him. I set my eyes firmly on the screen, nodding along to Riley's comments though I wasn't really paying attention.

When the movie was over I made an excuse for us to leave, when Bella suggested dinner together, getting in my car we fell back into the silence with no one to intervene.

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat? That chines place isn't far from here" he supplied breaking the silence and turning the radio down.

"I dunno, whatever" was my non-committal reply, my eyes on the road I took a left and started to head towards the Chinese restaurant he had mentioned.

"Could you be any more excited?" he commented sarcastically, his carefree, light tone gone to be replaced by a voice dripping with venom.

"What do you want?"

"You're so unconcerned about everything, you just don't care" he switched the radio off altogether, crossing his arms and looking out of the window.

"We're going to the poxy restaurant aren't we? What's your problem?" I could see very clearly where this was going, but like the idiot I was instead of trying to make it better I stung myself and made it worse.

"For the past few weeks you've either been blowing me off with some crappy excuse or you've been damn miserable whenever we do go out" his voice rose dangerously as I got to the Chinese place, pulling up in front of it and killing the engine.

What could I say? He was right of course, but it is not as if I could tell him why. That wouldn't go down so well, it would make things worse to tell him that I had been sleeping with my best friend who is engaged and supposedly straight. No I couldn't do that.

"So then why are you here?" was my knee jerk answer and I could see that was the wrong thing to say, opening my mouth to try and take it back but from the cold look he threw me, I knew the damage was done.

"That's a good question, why am I still here?" unbuckling his seat belt, he opened the door not looking back as he spoke again. "Bye Jacob, I think we're done here. I would appreciate it if you don't try to call me again" he got out, not turning back once as he walked away from me.

"Riley! Riley wait!" calling out to him he didn't respond, instead he walked faster until he rounded a corner and disappeared from my sight. I could very easily have gone after him, he wasn't that far away. Nevertheless what difference would it make?

I couldn't help myself, because I kept fucking everything up.

~X~X~X~X~X~

Over the next few weeks I tried to focus on getting a job, my bills were piling up and so I really needed a job. Although I might have well have not bothered as rejection letter after rejection letter came through, a week later and I was no closer to getting a job.

Yet I persevered, sending out resumes on a daily basis even for jobs that weren't for sales. If I wasn't immersed in my job hunt I was keeping myself as busy as possible, running with Leah, reading books on how to do well in interviews and so I had very little time to spend with Edward.

Not that he didn't try and convince me to take my mind off the job hunt, try is probably not the best word as he tended to succeed in keep my mind off it for a while.

I couldn't help but feel that I was getting in too deep, I hadn't said anything about how I felt to him and I hadn't tried very hard to stop the affair, for lack of a better word. But every time I saw, every time I got close to him it got harder to leave him and that wasn't a good thing not when he was due to be wed in just over a month and a half.

In my car on my way to see Leah for lunch, I thought about how broken up she had been over hearing Emily was pregnant. I knew it still stung for her, he had been her first love and he broke her heart. Jared was good for her, he didn't push her, but she told him soon after everything about Sam and Emily. From what she had told me he acted different to what she expected, he got angry, not at her but at Sam for daring to do that to someone he claimed that he loved.

His reaction was comforting to her and she felt somewhat better after telling him, they were so good together but Leah still refused to classify their relationship. It drove Jared mad, knowing Leah she was just trying to protect herself.

We met up at a small café near the building she worked at, she worked as an accountant for a big law firm and was quite good at her job. When I arrived, Leah was seated at a small table by one of the windows, she was looking down at her phone a glimmer of a smile on her lips. She didn't see me until I clapped a hand on one of her shoulders and she jumped in her seat.

"Jake you're such an ass" chuckling at her reaction as she put down the phone and glared at me, I took the seat opposite her and picked up the menu.

"You're too kind" she mumbled something under her breath as a response, something including the words 'big enough ego'. Then she smiled at me, knowing that I had heard her comment.

"Knowing that you would be late, I already ordered the spaghetti carbonara for you"

"Sounds good...so who were you texting?" I wriggled my eyebrows suggestively as I already knew who it could be, to make her smile. She tried not to smile by pressing her fingers to her lips, but she failed as the grin spread across her face. She tried to disguise it by taking a sip of her water, but she was fooling no one.

"No one really, just Jared"

"And?..."

"And nothing, can't I text my boyfriend without having an ulterior motive?" smiling at her she frowned for a moment, glancing at me curiously. "What?"

"You called him your boyfriend"

"So I did, it's not the end of the world"

"Yeah, but for you that's big" she shrugged as our food came, with a short brunette wearing too much makeup.

"I guess it is" she nodded before, concentrating very hard on her risotto dish, so that she wouldn't say anything else about her love life. We talked about various other topics, her work, my lack of work and various other subjects. When she tried to talk about Riley, I steered the conversation in a different direction, if she noticed she didn't let on, she went along with it.

She offered to pay for lunch, probably as she knew about my financial worries even if I refused to talk about it, turning down her offer we spilt the bill and left. At the same time as we left the café, I saw a familiar face walk in my direction, stopping when he was standing in front of me.

The three of us stopped to look at each other, the tension between us thick.

"Hello Paul, how are you?" he looked away from me and smiled stiffly at Leah, as she tried to make polite small talk.

"Hi Leah, I'm good thanks" he didn't looks so great, he squinted which made me think he might need glasses. He didn't smile either, mind he never did smile often it always looked strained when he did, it showed how depressed he looked. He looked at me again and I couldn't help but think about the ugly red and black print tie he wore, I recognised it as the one his mother got him for Christmas last year.

Had I seen him about a month ago, I would have found lots to say to him, I would have tried to show him how witty and funny I was, I would have pretended to be over him when all I could think about was how much I missed him. But the truth was that I didn't miss him, at all. I had barely thought about him in the past few weeks, so to see him now was just awkward.

After exchanging pleasantries, we ran out of things to say and so making an excuse Leah and I walked away from him.

"It was nice to see you again"

"You too, Paul. Bye" forcing I smile onto my face, I dragged Leah away quickly.

"That was...odd" supplied Leah as soon as we were out of his earshot and out of his line of sight.

"Yeah, downright awkward more like" we reached her building and we said our goodbyes, walking down the street to where I had parked my car, as she walked into the building waving over her shoulder before she got inside.

~X~X~X~X~X~

Getting into the apartment I noticed the stack of letters by the door as I tugged my jacket off, chucking it onto the back of the sofa I picked them up. Sifting through the post, most of it was either junk or yet another bill. Then right at the bottom was a very official letter from Aston Martin, dropping the letters on the dining room table I sat down, bracing myself for another rejection letter.

With bated breath I flipped it over and opened it, before I could chicken out, skimming the letter printed on headed paper I had to read it several times for it to sink in.

Dear Mr Jacob Black,

We recently received your application for a job in our sales department in Seattle, however looking at your resume, I feel that you may be more qualified for a different job role.

So I would like to offer you a job, not on one of our sales team but rather as part of our design team in England, London at our Mayfair design centre. We are always looking for people with new ideas and we think that you would be better qualified for this position.

Please call me at a time that is suitable for you, so that we can discuss the possibility of you joining us at Aston Martin...

Dropping the letter in shock, the words printed on the paper ran through my head, England they were offering me a job in England. Oh my gosh, leaning back in my chair a smile spread across my lips as a chuckle of disbelief escaped my lips.

Going into the kitchen I thought about a quick drink to celebrate, then thought against it and had a soda instead. Going back into the living room I picked up the letter and read it again, glancing at the number and realising that it was for the head office in London, I decided to leave it until tomorrow when it wouldn't be the middle of the night there.

Sifting through the rest of the bills and throwing the junk mail away, I felt relived now that I had a job offer. The only bad thing was that it was in London, so I would have to leave my friends, everyone behind.

Including Edward.

~X~X~X~X~X~

The next day I was round Emmett and Rosalie's for lunch as they said that they had an announcement to make. Everyone was round as the girls served up lunch before everyone was about to tuck in, Emmett and Rosalie stood up.

"Me and Rosalie have some good news" the others were silent as they continued, Emmett took her hand and she gave him a rare smile.

"I'm pregnant!" Esme stood up immediately and excitedly rushed over to give her daughter in law a big hug, whilst the others also congratulated them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper smile and take Alice's hand, as she sat stoic while her friend was oblivious to her pain.

Later on Edward and I cleared the plates from the table, allowing the girls to fawn over Rosalie and letting the rest of the men have a celebratory drink, in the living room. Taking the plates into the kitchen Edward stacked them in the dishwasher, smiling at me as I handed them to him.

"Good news for Rose and Emmett"

"Yeah, but I'm more concerned about Alice" nodding he loaded the last plate and closed the dishwasher, turning to face me and leaning against the countertop, clearly in no rush to get back to the others.

"She has Jasper, they'll get through it. If anyone could, it's them" nodding I stood next to him. "Hey what happened to Riley? Haven't seen him in a while" he said it with forced calmness as he looked down at his hands.

"We broke up, a week ago, it had run its course" what that really meant was, I had pushed him away for someone whom I wasn't even sure felt the same way about me.

"I can't say I'm sad to hear that" What. The. Hell. What the fuck did that mean?

We then lapsed into silence, it wasn't awkward but for some reason, I rushed to fill the silence blurting out the first thing that came into my head.

"I got a job offer" he turned his head towards me and looked genuinely pleased for me.

"That's great, who for?"

"Aston Martin, on the design team"

"Congratulations man, when will you start?" I stalled scratching the back of my neck and looking down, slightly reluctant to tell him where it was.

"I'll start in a month and a half" he was still smiling and clapped a hand to my back happily.

"It all worked out for you didn't it? You got a job here, so you don't have to worry about your ass of a boss, back at your old job"

"It's not here"

"What?" the smile was wiped from his face, to be replaced with a look of confusion.

"The job it's not here in Seattle"

"Where then New York or something?" he looked somewhat disappointed to hear I might not be living near him anymore.

"No, actually it's in England, London. At the head office in Mayfair, I'll be leaving in a month to settle into the accommodation they are going to set up for me" he didn't say anything, a part of me wanted him to ask me not to go. I wanted for him to ask me to stay with him, that he wouldn't marry Bella, however those words never came.

"Oh" was all he said.

A/N: sorry this was kinda short but I felt it needed to end there. Moving on for the next chapter I will stay with Jacob's POV, unless you think I should go for Edward instead?

Going away for a few days so it may be a while before I get the next chapter out, sorry for leaving you guys on such a cliff hanger.

Please leavea comment/review it only takes a few seconds and your comments, whether good or bad help me to improve my writing. Bye!