This is obviously the third chapter (already eek) thanks for all the reviews and new readers, adding me to your favourites list etc, you guys really do rock! This is quite a long chapter but you all deserve a little treat, Enjoy!
Chapter 3: I Am Whole.
Life they say begins with birth; apparently every 30 seconds a woman somewhere out there gives birth. As soon as you gave birth, it's as if you finally get it- you finally understand what the fuss is about. They become people, not kids. You start to identify with them. You see yourself in them. My mother once said to me that is the strange thing about being a mother: until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one, that you're seeing yourself in your most finest. Jane told me that being born, having a child is the purest virtue that can be given by a living being it's one of the greatest achievements we can endure. Birth can bring out the best and worst in women; we turn into screaming, men hating banshees, it's one of the few times we really show ourselves, can express how we feel without being yelled at right back. Birth and death it's all linked, it happens to all of us.
Maddie's POV
I am the ultimate cliché right now; standing in my sweats spooning Ben & Jerry's straight from the carton into my mouth, Cookie Dough of course. I roll my eyes as I hear Helena calling for me, I can so not get a break right now from her.
"I'm in the kitchen," pretty hard to yell when you've stuffed another huge spoonful...or two into your mouth.
She walks in all smiles and pearls; happy considering that today is the anniversary of her husband's death.
"Eating that ice cream again Madeline? If you're not careful that baby will come out covered in it." I dutifully let out a laugh and hide the ice cream at the back of the freezer; I've seen the way Bruce is eyeing it up, over my dead body is he getting my last stash.
She rattles my pill box at me and pours me a glass of water, "Come on take your vitamins, you and the baby need them. If we want this precious boy to come out healthy then you'll take them."
"Helena we don't even know that the baby is a boy it could easily be a girl," I hate the taste of the pills; kind of like green tea tablets and if you've ever had them you'll know what I'm talking about.
She eyes me as I take the tablets and down all the water, "Any signs yet? Any discomfort? You know it's the anniversary of Baron's death today, would be nice to have the baby today, make it a special occasion instead of a sad one."
Ew and ew, why would I want my baby A early and B on the day that dick died? Lord knows I'd rather hold out an extra month.
"No, no signs yet I doubt it will happen today maybe tomorrow or on Monday I think I'm having a Monday baby," She looks annoyed at that, oh yeah sure I'll pop the kid out today just for you, I sneer sarcastically. I check myself; god I sound like Jack, I spent way too much time picking up his habits and expressions.
"Well you never know Maddie, you go and get dressed and we'll go and see James shall we? You've not been there since will be nice for him to see you and his son."
I go to snap at her but instead trudge upstairs god I feel right years old again getting told what to do. I really don't want to stand there while she goes to James' grave, how can I turn her down? It's him I'm supposed to be in love with, I have to act the part.
"Don't forget your notes!"
Like I could forget she makes me look at them every day; even shows the women she 'exchanges pills' with.
I snap open my purse; looking for some change, I don't often need change but Helena is so tight fisted it's usually me who ends up paying for the parking. I pull on the photo tucked in a compartment, thinking it's one of my scan pictures I unfold it; it's not, like I said I don't need change so I don't carry my purse with me. The photograph is old; worn down around the edges, it was too big to put in there so I had to force it in; it's a photo of James in his police uniform; looking every inch the hero. I sink down into the bed when I remember the day he officially became a police officer:
I run over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, admiring his uniform.
"You did it babe, you've actually got in!" I'm too happy to notice him grip tightly onto my arm.
"What the fuck do you mean I actually got in? Of course I was getting in."
I shake my head, "James I didn't mean it like that..."
He interrupts me, "Shut the fuck up! Now smile and be nice my father's coming over."
While James clambers for his father's attention I down another glass of wine, ignoring the looks he sends my way.
"James!" I cringe at the sound of his partner Sophia's voice as she walks over, earning a simpering smile from Helena. I walk off as they carry on talking, finding myself next to Stephen.
"Hi Maddie, great day isn't it, you must be proud of him? You look great by the way."
I flash him a smile at his compliment, he was always a good guy "It is a great day and thanks you're the only one who does think that." I clink his glass next to mine and down another glass of wine, wanting to block it all out.
Stephen moves closer behind me and brushes my hair off my shoulder, touching my arm gently he leans into whisper in my ear, "I'm not the only one who thinks it, if I had you to go home to I'd never leave."
I turn my head slightly and laugh humouring him, sending up a silent prayer that people are blocking James' view.
God it seemed so long ago we did that, just even looking at the picture evokes so many emotions in me. I gasp and hold onto my stomach as a slight twinge passes through me; as soon as it's there it goes. I turn my attention back to the photo, ripping it in half and stuffing it back into my bag. I don't need this I don't need him haunting me. I get dressed quickly knowing Helena and above all Jane hate lateness.
"Ah here we are, we'll see James then we shall go and see Jane. I had my driver bring me here so he can take us, Rose is sorting out that ghastly colour that awful decorator said would look good in the nursery, the woman clearly has no style."
I zone out, not paying much attention, I wince again as the baby kicks me in the ribs, like it thinks I'm some kind of football. Helena notices and eyes gleaming she leans forward, "Is that a contraction?"
"No the baby just kicked that's all, I had pain earlier but I've not had any since."
She settles back into her seat looking less than pleased, eyeing me every few seconds for more signs. We pull up to the graveyard, Helena chatting all the way to his grave.
"Here's my boy, look at the state of the grave all these flowers need seeing to."
I jump at the chance to get away from her and him, "I'll go and get some water," I walk off before she can reply and take a deep breath, to be home and relaxing in my scruff. I look around the place as the water fills; craning my neck as I notice a woman who looks like Sophia, I shake my head as the woman turns around, no not her.
Helena straightens up as I come back, dusting invisible dirt off her skirt.
"There, I've had a nice chat with him and we'll go and get you to Jane."
"You go on ahead I want to talk to James," I say it before I really register what I'm saying; she looks surprised but pleased nonetheless.
I wait until she's out of earshot, I trace the letters of his name, it's a simple grave really, nothing but his name, birth and death and the words 'forever loved' are on it, on top of this is the picture of him in uniform, I wince at it.
"Bet you're laughing up there aren't you? Must think this is pretty funny huh? I didn't know that you would die, I'm sorry... You should have stayed away... I didn't think it would happen like this. If you stayed away and let me go you'd still be here, it's not my fault" I let out a sob, damn hormones.
"Maddie?" I turn around scowl, Sophia stands awkwardly behind me, clutching a bouquet of lilies.
"What are you doing here?" I snap, I really have no time for this woman.
"He was my friend too you know, no one told me about him dying I had to read about it in the papers... no one told me" She replies softly not taking my bait.
"Oh friend was that before or after you slept with him?"
She winces at that, clutching the flowers closer as though to shield herself.
"I really want to talk to you Maddie; I think we need to talk."
"No, no we don't I'm leaving now you may as well stay here," I grunt in pain again and grip my stomach...great just great.
Sophia moves closer, supporting my arm, "Are you ok, should I call anyone?"
Helena finally gets her head out of her pill box and walks over, god forbid she runs.
"Maddie what is it? Is it the baby is my boy ok?"
I barely digest what she is saying as more pain shoots through me, harsher this time.
I look through my hair at Helena, "Call Jane tell her to get to the hospital," she nods and turns to go, "Don't leave me!" I yell, stupid frigging woman.
I'm scared obviously I knew for some months I was gonna give birth, just hopefully not in Helena's car, after she found out I was ok she'd probably send the cleaning bill to me. I want my brother but mainly I want Jack, at the hospital there are so many women with their partners by their side and I'm alone. I can't exactly call him up from taking time out killing/maiming/stealing/ blowing things up to hold my hand. Can you imagine the looks if he waltzed into the hospital in full Joker outfit? That's one way to clear a room.
I puff on another go of gas and air, god this is good stuff, can so see why women can't get enough of this.
"Hey Mad's I got here as fast as I could," Jane is breathless and I'm deliriously happy to see her, god I gotta see if I can buy one of these.
"Janie! It's gonna be early but it'll be ok right? Don't leave me ok, or I may get high and tell everyone that my baby's daddy isn't a cop but a murdering clown, ok?"
"Oww" another wave of pain goes through me and I grip the side of the bed, ok this is not recommended.
"It's ok Mads you're about set but you'll be fine, remember when I had Riana? If I can do it you can, is...is Jack coming?"
Before I can reply Bruce bursts through the door rushing to my side, "Bruce! I could have been not in a good position for you then!"
He wisely ignores me choosing to brush my hair away, "When will it happen?"
Jane looks up "Oww!" Bruce winces as I squeeze his hand, Jane smiles and nods "I'd say now."
Anyone who has given birth will tell you they'd prefer anything else over it, Jane told me she'd rather have her teeth taken out at the dentists than go through this, great support network I've got here. But the minute that the baby is born everything goes out of the window, everything is forgotten, the pain for once is so worth it.
"Maddie last push come on!"
Seriously it feels like I've been doing this for days, I heave myself up into a sitting position and push down for what will hopefully be the last time. I hear the cry over everything Jane and Bruce say to me, I crane my neck when Jane holds my baby up.
"Congratulations Maddie, we've got ourselves a little boy here."
Joker's POV
He doesn't know when the baby is due; it's not something he asked Maddie about, not out of lack of interest but more lack of time. He twirls his knife between his fingers; agitated. He misses her, not just for sex but just for her being...well her, she's got you well and truly whipped eh Jackie? He growls in annoyance at the voice, he's not soft...he's not.
"Boss, turn the TV on!"
He whirls around ready to knife the guy for barging into his room; "Seriously Boss you'll want to see this."
He sighs and switches it on, raking his fingers through his newly dyed hair.
"The moment we've all been waiting for is now here, that's right just six hours ago Madeline Wayne was seen entering the hospital where our sources say she has now given birth in the earlier hours of this evening. Madeline..."
Given birth, who was with her when she had his child? Wayne? The old guy? Not good enough, none of them are. He shrugs off his coat, unbuttoning his vest, "Get Bozo and Speed together, tell them to meet me downstairs in ten minutes, got it?" The guy nods and backs out of the room, turning his back at the last second. The Joker rummages through the wardrobe, finally settling on a black top and pants; he needs to fit in if he expects to get into the hospital; he isn't exactly people's favourite person. The hair... ahh could be a problem now it's green; an idea jumps into his head, Bozo's hat, that'll have to do.
"Boss what we doing?" Always to the point is Speed, good guy.
"Hospital Maddie's had mine...eh her baby," he doesn't trust the new guys with any little titbit of information, especially nothing this juicy... this-Maddie their baby is his weakness, he can't risk anymore harm coming to her.
Speed is practically jumping up and down in his seat, the excitement naturally too much, "Will we get to see Maddie and baby boss? A baby sure never seen one of them properly before!"
The Joker looks into the mirror and catches Bozo's eye, the other man is trying hard not to laugh, "Not just yet, I'll ask Maddie then I dunno maybe she'll let you, hell she may not even want me to see the kid..."
"I'll park here Boss, my bro gave me one of them disabled badges," if it wasn't such a pressing situation he would have laughed, maybe slapped him on the back but he needs to get moving, its been a while since he was last in a hospital that he wasn't...well blowing up. He moves silently passed the woman on reception who has a phone pressed to her ear, her back to the doors. A quick view of the patients chart points him to room 3, naturally a private room. No one seems to be in the room, Maddie seems to be sleeping, the bassinet by the side of the bed. The door eases open and yet she still doesn't move; the baby however does. He moves closer, peering into the bassinet at his...well what do you know it? A son he has a son. The baby's eyes flutter open and his breath catches; those eyes so like his own it's unreal, there too dark to be Maddie's, but the exact shade of his. Hesitantly he lowers his hand to his son's, who has so far remained quiet, just simply staring. His grip is surprisingly strong considering he was born mere hours ago, he opens his mouth and let's out thankfully a yawn, right now son or no son he doesn't do screaming babies. Birth is a natural thing, but to a guy who normally takes lives away it's unusual. His son is small, small but still strong; his grip tightens on his hand and his stare remains on his face. He subconsciously rubs at the scars on his face, for now the kid won't be scared, wait until you hit five kid then you'll be scared, the thought alone angers him and for a second he wishes he wasn't the Joker. The baby starts fussing and he turns as Maddie gives a sharp intake of breath.
"Jack?" He practically jumps at the sound of her voice, the confusion and tiredness evident on her face.
He moves away from the baby, his screams becoming louder at the loss of the now familiar face.
Maddie moves up off the bed and gathers the screaming new born in her arms, he watches fascinated as she picks up their son, bringing him closer to her chest, the cries instantly settle, the baby at ease in his mother's arms.
For a moment both their gazes settle on the baby, Maddie is the first to look away, smiling up at him, the ultimate picture of contentment.
"I'm really glad you're here," she admits rocking the baby gently.
He moves closer, drawn to them, "I'm didn't know when you were supposed to be having him or I would have tried to get here..." he settles a large hand on his son's much smaller head.
"I know, I wasn't even due today, it kinda sucks, it's the anniversary of James' dad's death today great day for a baby to be born." He tries to ignore the mention of his name, its bad enough people will think his son is that dicks.
"Do you want to know what I called him?" He nods; he can't keep calling him 'the baby' or kid.
"I thought Mathew Jack Wayne... do you like it?" He looks down at his son; he looks like a Mathew, whatever that means.
"Mathew," he tries it for size, it sounds right.
"Yeah I like it, suits him. His small huh?"
She nods tracing the baby's... Mathew's arms, earning a sleepy smile from him.
She notices him looking at the baby and nods towards him, "Do you want to hold him? You have to be gentle" thanks for the warning.
"Sure," she brings him down into his arms; he brings his son close to him, copying the way Maddie held him, which seemed to settle him. He's almost dozing in his arms, he startles, a reflex. His hands curl closed around his shirt, clinging tightly to the material. He turns around and Maddie is sat there smiling, he can't give her a typical family life, he can't walk into a normal 9-5 job but at least for now they can at least pretend. He leans closer to her and gently brushes his lips to her's, her hand comes up to his face and he surprisingly doesn't flinch when she strokes his scars, she seems to have accepted them. They kiss for a few moments more, he looks down and the baby is sleeping, snoring softly. Wordlessly he stands and places his son back into the bassinet, uncurling his small hand from his shirt.
"I have to go now doll, but I've got a new place in the city, look out for me yeah?"
She frowns but doesn't give much else away; bringing her fingers through his belt loops, drawing him close, before their lips can connect there's a knock on the door, they both groan, annoyed that as always their 'moment' is cut short. He resists the urge to roll his eyes as the Cop's mom walks into the room.
"Madeline...oh who are you?" Normally he likes a woman who gets straight to the point, but she reminds him way too much of the Cop.
"Helena this is Jack he works for the hospital in the business area."
The other woman wrinkles her nose at his out stretched hand...burn.
"Jack is it, I'm Helena the baby's grandmother," no, no you're not he wants to knock her out of the way and take Maddie and the baby elsewhere but he knows he has to keep his manners in check.
"I should go, take care Maddie," he reaches over, blocking Helena's view, pressing his hand's into Maddie's. With a nod of his head he walks out of the room just in time to hear Helena moaning that he shouldn't be here and Maddie eyeing up the card he placed in her hand; a Joker card.
Sam's POV
If thing's were bad before they're even worse now; he has a hit out on him from the Joker and he's taken to hiding in slums so he doesn't meet a sticky end at the end of the Joker's knife. Before he had James' protection then he went and got himself killed so he has no one to protect him. He scowls as he shoots at yet another rat; this place is disgusting he winces as the old guy next to him chokes up last night's dinner. This underground place is not gonna be home forever he has to keep swapping and moving he daren't stay in one place too long, this has to be the worst of all. He stands next to the bin and roots through it finally locating the newspaper; he has to keep up with the news, news of the Joker etc.
His eyes slowly scan the front page, scowling as he sees the headline "Wayne gives birth to baby".
They all still think she is this amazing person; only he knows different, only he knows her little bastard kid could be the Joker's, he just needs the proof. There's been nothing in the paper's lately of the Joker, his been quiet of late, it won't last forever he's planning something big, two can play at that game, the old place is still deserted if he can find just a small bit of evidence then he'll be set, he has to go it alone this time, he looks at the picture of the cop's mom, or maybe not...
AN: So Sam is back in the mix, he wouldn't be away forever! This one took a while to get out so I hope you all like it, thanks for being so patient and still reading!