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Chapter 4: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Denial is something humans can do so well; it's what we do even when the truth is right in our face and we want to pretend it's not there. When we start to deny things everything becomes fuzzy; we start to play make believe in the hopes that we eventually hear what we want. Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when that happens, when we can no longer pretend, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, filled with so many people it's hard to breathe at times. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired; we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns deny many things; that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we are hurting, how much we miss that certain someone, how much the lies we keep our tearing us apart. Most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our may give us the feeling we're happy when really we're kidding no one but ourselves.

Helena's POV

Finally she can take her boy home, well done on Maddie for giving her the boy back that she so desperately wanted. What a beautiful baby Mathew is; he'll take after his father soon enough, that she is sure of. Maddie and the baby are finally being discharged today; while Maddie took him away from her to sign out and talk to Jane she took it upon herself to start packing the baby bag; which is typically a mess. Her fingers brush against a photograph; it's ripped in half and she quickly locates the other half, putting the two halves together she sees it's a picture of James.

"Maddie, Maddie, Maddie what are you doing?" She was supposed to love her son; she had his baby, why would she destroy his picture? Hearing Maddie and Jane's voices down the corridor she quickly stuffs the torn parts into her bag, turning around and smiling at the last moment.

"And here's my grandson!"

She rushes forward and takes the baby carrier off Maddie, plucking the sleeping baby out of his seat.

"Helena he went to sleep like ten minutes ago!"

She chooses to ignore Maddie, really he is her grandson, she has already raised James practically on her own; what does Maddie know?

"I'm just spending time with my lovely little grandson, yes I am precious." She misses both women roll their eyes at each other.

"Now Maddie what was that Jack man doing here the other day? What business was it of his?"

She is too absorbed in her grandson to see Jane's worried stare and Maddie's slow turn of her head.

"Helena I told you yesterday, he heard I had Mathew and was in the area, I told him he could come, it's up to me who I see and who I don't see."

Helena finally looks up from her grandson, "Really Madeline! Is he safe? You'll confuse the baby if you keep bringing different men round him."

"Yes Helena I'm well aware of how to raise my son," with that Maddie takes the baby off her, Helena's eyes darken at the loss of her grandson.

"Well I've packed up everything we just need to wait for Bruce to come then we can leave. I'll be taking my car back to the house; God knows I need to tell people about my lovely grandson!"

"Ok well thanks for everything Helena; I'll see you soon ok?" They both embrace; awkwardness on Maddie's part.

"Well I can see I'm no longer needed here, Jane," she bends down to face the baby, "Mathew granny will see you soon poppet."

As soon as she steps out of the room she digs into her back and finds the torn picture; she obviously had a reason for doing this, she can't treat her son's memory like this, Madeline my dear I do believe you are hiding something.

Maddie's POV

"God she just never quits, I'm considering leaving the city just to get away from her."

Jane laughs and I stroke Mathew's face; his thankfully gone back to sleep after his rude awakening.

"Mads, did he really come and see you and the baby?" I consider my answer; I don't even want to let Jane in on some of the things that have happened between me and Jack.

"Yeah he wanted to see me and Mathew, he even held him for a minute or two, it felt right oddly enough" it felt right but I wanted so much more from him, seeing him with Mathew in his arms just made me want him even more.

"Jane its fine seriously he didn't do anything to me he just wanted to see his son, he was curious I think."

"I'm glad he did... see the baby I mean. Will you see him again?"

Even I don't know that, though Jack did hint to it, I saw the look on his face when he saw Mathew and the look of want in his eyes with me; he must be so confused right now, this has never happened to him, to either of us before, it's strange but so good.

"I just don't want you or this little man to get hurt," she reaches over to rub the side of the carrier, we both laugh as he jumps slightly in his sleep; yet still doesn't wake.

"He's a light sleeper" Jane observes, nodding towards Mathew.

I smile at the memory of Jack, "Yeah Jack was always a light sleeper as well, could never get anything by him."

There's a knock on my door and I laugh as a balloon followed by a bunch of flowers then finally Bruce appears at the door, "Hey look what I got and I got them for free too, with a little help from the woman at the store," I roll my eyes at Bruce, typical using his looks and the 'Wayne' name to score freebies, like the man can't afford them.

"Wow Bruce flirting to score your nephew free gifts, that something you'll be teaching him?"

Bruce raises an eyebrow, "Well someone's gotta teach this little guy the tricks of the trade and that would be me, we guy's gotta stick together."

We step outside of the hospital the back way and thankfully no one is there, I look like shit and feel like it to, so yeah I'm not in the mood. Besides I want to keep Mathew to myself for some time, for now he can just be mine.

"Mad's Gordon is coming by later he has some things for you." I panic instantly I've not really said much to him about Jack and James; I thought he had all the answers he needed.

"Yeah did he say anything about what he wanted me for?"

"No he just said he would visit and wouldn't be long staying, said he didn't want to take up too much of your time."

I settle back into the car, stroking Mathew's car seat, what could Gordon want? If he had found any evidence or whatever he would have said so before now, something isn't right.

I ease the car seat out of the car; Alfred stands on the porch waiting for us, practically hoping from one foot to another in his excitement.

"Miss Madeline I've been expecting you all. Here let me help you," I hand him a few of my bags and head into the living room, Mathew now awake yet still silent. Bruce and Alfred don't follow me; instead they head to the kitchen and I pick my son up; relishing in having him to myself for a moment. I cradle him close and stand next to the large bay windows, laughing as he tries to raise his head, he does so for a second and I marvel at his strength; he's Jack through and through.

"It's been a while since there's been a baby in Wayne Manor, it's a delight I must say," I turn around and Alfred stands behind me, carrying a tray of tea (what else?) and biscuits.

"You think? I hope Mathew's gonna be easier on me than I was on you." Seriously I was awful, such a brat I'm honestly surprised I managed to live.

"You were so much more behaved than master Bruce, now he was a problem, always stealing food off the plates during dinner, going places he shouldn't, you were so much more better."

"Madeline?" Gordon stands awkwardly in the entrance to the living room, Alfred smiles and I instantly panic.

"Hi Gordon, I'll be with you in a second," I lay Mathew down on the floor and he is quite happy to look around his new surroundings, eyeing up the new voice.

"Miss Madeline I'll leave you both to it, Master Jim there's tea of you would like a cup."

"Thank you Alfred I won't stay for long," I gesture for him to sit down opposite and he leans down to view the baby.

"He looks like you Maddie, so much like you" Mathew turns his head at the voice, opening and closing his mouth.

"Thank you, how are things?"

"They're good thanks, we have a new detective in now, we managed to sort everything out and it has been agreed James will be getting a medal of honour for dying in the line of duty." He waits for it to sink in, he so does not deserve this; how can everyone parade him round like he is some God?

I force a smile on my face and look to the baby who has also gone quiet as though waiting for my answer, "That's great really great, he'd like that. When will that be happening?"

"The next week or so, I've told Helena and she said she would probably keep the award if that's alright with you that is?"

"Yeah that's fine I don't want stuff like that, it's better for Helena to keep it, she kept the flag she would want that too."

Gordon nods and sips his tea, it seems he has yet more to say, "There's something else too Maddie, we er have done with certain parts of James' case so I thought I'd give you this back." He reaches into his pocket, grimacing as he attempts to find it, before pulling the packaging free. It's in a police evidence bag, still contained in yellow tape, my ring.

Gordon takes my hand and gently places it in there, closing my hand over it; "Thank you, I didn't think I'd get it back" didn't want it back more like. I fiddle with the bag nervously; I hope he doesn't expect me to wear it. I smile once again and place it in my bag, snapping it shut.

"I didn't mean to upset you Maddie I just thought you would have wanted it back..." he trails off as I squeeze his hand, "It's fine, I know you didn't mean to upset me I just didn't expect it back that's all."

"How is everything going?" I turn round to Bruce, who offers his hand to Gordon and sits on the floor next to Mathew, dangling keys in front of him.

"I should get going now, we're getting new recruits in and I need to be there, I'll keep you posted Maddie," he nods to both me and Bruce in a goodbye and waves slightly to the baby.

"I'll show you out Gordon," Bruce stands up and at the loss of his play toy Mathew starts to cry. I gather him up and my arms and go to the window again, he doesn't deserve this award, it spits on all of the other deserving people who were awarded it.

"What did Gordon want Mads?"

I turn round to look at Bruce, Mathew seems more alert to his presence too, "James is getting awarded a medal for dying in the line of duty, and he also gave me back my ring."

Bruce nods, contemplating, "I didn't think he would get one in all honesty, I didn't even think you'd get the ring back yet, how do you feel about it?"

"I feel fine...I'm fine it's just a ring at the end of the day, I'm fine seriously."

"Mads its ok to be scared and upset you know, especially after all that's happened to you, you've done so good so far but if you ever need anything I'll get it for you, you do know that?"

I turn around and lean against his arm, "I know I don't need help I'm fine."

Joker's POV

They've moved into the new place now, it's pretty much closer to the first hideout; perfect for when they want to be in and out of Gotham and in Bozo and Speed's case to see Dwayne. He hasn't been able to see Maddie yet, he even got Bozo to check out her apartment but she has apparently never been back there, she must be at Wayne Manor still. The papers constantly print pictures of her and Mathew; his small face remains constantly calm and unfazed if he really tries to remember he can picture himself as a child; Mathew looks so like him it's a good job no one else but Maddie has seen him without his face paint. He has quite the collection of newspaper clippings now of Maddie and their son, she takes him everywhere with her, he's constantly on her hip; the cop's mom or Wayne usually not far behind. Speed sits near him slowly reading the paper, his mouth moving slowly as he reads the words, the word 'cop' catches his eye and he stalks towards him, Speed looks up, "You ok boss?"

"Yeah let me see the paper," Speed simply nods and hands the paper over, it was usually Dwayne or Speed who read to him anyway.

The title in the paper screams out, 'Dead Cop To Win Award', his eyes flick quickly over the paragraphs, his lip turning in disgust at the mention of the Cop getting a heroes award. If people knew what he had really been like they wouldn't be so quick to hold him in such high regards... it's time people knew, he won't do this for him, like always it's about Maddie, it's what she deserves. Just because the Cop's dead it doesn't mean he is forgotten nor does it mean he can't spread a little anarchy another dirty cop.

"Ya know something Speed; I think it's time we got in touch with the bat..."

Sorry there wasn't too much of the Joker in this one, he'll feature so much more in the next one. This is just a build up to the next chapter, it's all relevant. Thanks for reading and staying so patient!