Hi, I'm sorry this has taken a while to get out; uni has been loading the work on me so I've been concentrating on that. Thanks for everyone's reviews and all those who are still reading/reviewing etc. This one carries on from where the last chaptered ended; thanks for staying so patient!

Chapter Nine: 'Opening Pandora's Box'.

Lies, we all tell them; white lies, little lies, big lies we can all say we've been there and done that. The problem with lies is they always catch up on us; little lies can get bigger and bigger until there's no way out. We lose track of the amount of lies we tell, who we tell them to and what these lies involved. Lies; so small yet they hurt so much.

Flashback to James' death.

He just kept talking and talking; his words that I had once flinched from seemed to cut even deeper this time; this time it wasn't just aimed at me he was insulting Jack too. The gun Jack had left was still on the bed, I knew that if I flexed my fingertips I would be able to reach it. I knew just by looking at him that Jack couldn't get to him without something happening to me; or James' threat of someone being outside being true. I focus on James; titling slightly to the side to get closer to the gun; his eyes are unfocused, he's usually like that when really drunk or high.

"I'll just have to kill you then, or maybe lover boy here. Didn't know you had a thing for freaks Maddie? Think how good it would be to see him dead and gone, have Bruce crying over your dead body..."

"I'm so sorry to do this..." I mutter; wincing my hand closes around the gun; he's too busy ranting to see me raise the gun; Bruce showed me how to fire a gun once, always mindful that someday I would need to protect myself.

I pull the trigger; the gunshot sounds and James looks around; his eyes try to zone in on the gun that's fallen to my side. "What the fuck was that?" He opens his mouth to say more, but the gunshot is clearly fatal; as his body collapses on the floor and I let out the sob that I've been holding in; I never thought I could kill someone especially James, even after everything we'd been through I could never picture me killing him, I always thought it would be the other way around. I look over to Jack who has his own gun in his hand; I let mine fall back onto the bed, he stares at me and back at the gun. I knew there and then he had to get out of there or he would be sent to Arkham or worse; the cop's that would follow could easily extract their own form of 'justice'. I may have killed James but I couldn't let Jack die too; so I let him go, I knew I wouldn't be blamed, but at the same time I knew that Jack would be blamed for it. What kind of person does that make me?

He stands up, taking my hands into his, "Now you listen to me Maddie ok and you listen good. You didn't hurt anyone that's the truth."

"The truth," I let out a sound mid way between a sob and a laugh, "The truth is Jack that I killed James and let you take the fall... that's the truth."

He throws himself away from me, shaking his head, "No, you didn't do anything wrong, anyone would tell you that. And if you hadn't killed him I would have done; it's just one more murder to my name, I don't care. Do you understand me? I don't care!"

"You think that makes it any easier? I killed him Jack and I know that he deserved it but I still killed him, how can I come back from that?"

The speed in which he moves towards me is faster than I've ever seen him move before; he stands before me and shakes me; digging his fingers into my arms, "It was an accident ok? He got what was coming to him; you killed him because there was no other way he would have killed both of us, you wouldn't have been here to have Mat, so don't stand here and start telling me you want to admit to it, because I won't let you do that, I won't let you destroy your life or our son's life."

I sniff and laugh at him; the glass crunches beneath my feet, "It wasn't an accident nothing just happens, I knew as soon as I saw the gun I was gonna kill him and I did; it might not matter to you but I still have to live with it, I still have to see him every day. He doesn't haunt you, he doesn't come to you threatening you or your son, you don't see what I see."

He brings me closer to him, still gripping onto me arms, "His not real ok, he's dead you went to the funeral you saw his body he's dead. What's happening with you...I don't know ok, maybe you've taken too much on having Mat then going back to the hospital. But this is between me and you, as far as people are concerned I killed the Cop ok? You don't have any proof that you did it; how do you think I feel knowing people think that Mat is his son? I want to tell everyone what really happened but I keep my mouth shut and so should you. Don't ruin yourself; people will never look at you the same again."

I walk away from him, avoiding my reflection in the mirror; "I can't look at myself again; I can't look at Helena without seeing her pain and without remembering what I did. But that's all this is to you just another dead body, you can't understand how this is killing me!"

His stance changes and he rolls his neck; he knows I hate that, "Well why don't you explain? Why don't you explain to me why you still have feelings for him huh? After what he did to you, after what he almost did to our son?"

He crosses over to me and shoves me in front of the mirror; brushing my hair from my back and exposing my scar, "Look at what he did to you, he could have killed you and that woman, he left her to die and he could have done the same to you! I get you're scared and afraid you think you'll end up like me, but you won't I won't let you. It was self defence Maddie, if people found out they'd say the same thing."

We both look into the mirror breathing heavily; he makes so much sense but he doesn't feel James and he feels so real right now. As though sensing I need his comfort he pushes me into him; so I'm standing with my back to his chest.

"How were you after you killed someone?"

My question shocks him and for a moment he ponders my question, "It was quick, I did it as quick as I could, I was...scared, there was people watching me do it and all I wanted to do was throw up and get the fuck outta there, but I stuck it in and afterwards it got easier. I remember all their names you know, every single person's name I've killed I remember them."

The young man behind me right now doesn't look like a killer, the man I know, the man I first saw in those pictures, the person he is with me and Mat isn't the killer; I wish more people would see that side of him. I trace the scars on his face, he doesn't flinch or move my hand away, he rarely does now.

"How did you get the scars?" I've not asked him this since we first met; there never seemed to be the right time, why now is any different I don't know.

"I er fell into the wrong crowd, I wanted out and they didn't like that, cut up my face and er left me for my mom to find me, some present huh?" He forces out a laugh and I take his face into my hands, caressing the scars, I almost feel like crying for him, though I get the feeling he wouldn't appreciate that.

"What happened...?" He shakes his head as though trying to rid himself of the bad memories, "What happened to the guys who did this to you?"

"I got them, took me a while, had to wait for a few months to get back on my feet but I found them, they all screamed like girls when I gave them smiles to match mine."

"Jack," this time I can't hide the pity from my voice; he notices and gives me a small smile, "That's life doll, see I fixed my little problems and now I'm gonna help fix you."

"What if he gets taken off me, what if I screw up more in front of people and Mat gets taken off me?"

"No he won't, Bruce and the old guy wouldn't let that happen, you're a good mom, a good person anyone can see that, stop thinking like that, ok?" I don't answer nor do I meet his gaze, he sighs frustrated at my lack of response, he shakes me slightly, "Ok?"

"Yeah...everyone's acting like I need a babysitter and I don't know I'm just scared and confused and I just want to feel normal again; I don't get that at home and even at the hospital I'm working pitiful shifts because the Chief thinks I can't cope and maybe he's right, I almost left today when Karen came in. If she dies that's it I'm finished, I don't wanna be a surgeon anymore."

"I'll help you Maddie and I'll help her if I can," he brings me closer to him again and I grip tightly onto him; ignoring the sight of James standing in the kitchen shaking his head at me.

Joker's POV

He didn't want her going home on her own so he took her; before though he went through her address book, she can't quit the hospital; if she does she's giving into whatever's happening with her. He's had eyes on the place since he told Speed where the address was; according to him and Bozo the woman and kids aren't there and looks like they won't be for hours. It's a small job; he'll be in and out, he just needs to make sure everything is set; the next piece of the puzzle has been put into place. This guy sure is a piece of work, the lowest of the low and so like the Cop it's uncanny; it's time he got what he deserves, what's been long overdue. The house is in the Narrows; naturally the security on the place was nothing; easy enough for Bozo to disable the alarm and have the guy inside not even bat an eyelid. Kid's toys and broken bottles of beer and cigarette butts litter the floor of the otherwise clean house. The snoring from inside the living room suggests the guy has passed out; probably drunk himself to that state.

"Huge guy boss, sure we can take him?" He turns round to face Speed and smirks into the darkness, "Can't be no bigger than you Speedy."

The guy barely feels the prick of the needle in his forearm; he leans closer now, getting a good look at him now the lights are on; he has the same dark hair set in the same style as him, the same features, build yeah he picked good. He needs to be quick and he needs the guy to be quite; the kids won't eb back until the morning, he'll have been found way before then, no need for them to see him like that.

"Shallow cuts boys, shallow cuts," Bozo and Speed nod and set to work, piercing the guys over sized muscles, the blood leaks onto the chair arm.

He walks idly over the wall; the pictures of his kids line the walls; he appears by his wife, always with his hand on her shoulder as though preventing her from running. By the time they've finished with him, his body he worked so hard to get; used so much to punish his wife is barely recognisable. He waits a few moments more; smirking as the guys eyes flutter open and he grimaces from the drink and the pain from the wounds.

"What...the fuck man?" He ignores him and nods for Speed and Bozo to step aside, the light bounces off his knife; the guy notices and tries to move in his chair; his pathetic attempts futile.

"This is only gonna hurt a little, you think this is bad this is nothing compared to what I had in mind for ya, now hold still or it could end up worse." The guys eyes widen in fear and as he steps closer he sees the telltale signs of urine on the floor, he tuts "Big bad man afraid of the little Joker huh?" He digs his knife into the man's throat and slices through it; the blood showers over him and he tilts his head; basking in the glow of the kill. He looks down at the now dead guy and picks up the phone; dialling for the Cop's; "911 what's your emergency?" He drops the phone; leaving it on the call, the cops will be here soon enough to find his gift, really he has been generous lately; the Bat best be paying attention.

Mac Dawson thirty five...another one bites the dust; like he said to Maddie he remembers all their names.

As it turns out, in some cases, it's a lot easier to say that someone deserved to die for what they did than it was to take the responsibility of the kill.

I hope you all liked this chapter it took me long enough to get it out so hopefully I'll have the next one out sooner. I've got a good few ideas were this story is heading and I've been planning and working it out; stay with me to find out what tricks I've got up my sleeve!

Thanks guys! Take care

Feels-Like-Paradise.