The news doesn't sink in at first, but after a few moments of heartbreaking silence, I lean my back against the closed door and sink to the floor. I think about my sister. I think about the little girl, delicate and sincere, who used to lay next to me in the meadow, propped on one elbow, and talk for hours with me. I wish now that I would have remembered some of the things she said. I wait for tears but none come.
Instead I say, "Who went with her?" looking up towards my mother, who seems shocked that I have spoken. "The boy tribute? Who was it?" I ask again.
"Uh," she mumbles, and then clears her throat and states, "The baker's son. Peeta."
I look to the floor. "Oh." The baker's son. Then I feel tears in my eyes when I ask, "What did she say? After, when you said goodbye?" my voice shakes.
So does my mother's when she answers. "She said to tell you that she loves you. And she's going to try to win for you." A few tears fall down her cheeks and her voice goes cold. "Where were you?" she almost yells, looking from the floor to my face. Her eyes are harsh but they don't mask the sorrow. I start to reply but stop when she whispers, "You could have saved her." My open mouth closes. I can't say I'm angry she would have rather I died than Prim, only because I feel the same way.
Hazelle prepares dinner from what I have in my forage bag, but it sits cooling on the table as my mother and I both crawl into bed. Only after Gale's mother has left and mine is asleep do I let the tears flow freely. My mother's words replay in my mind: You could have saved her.
I look up when I hear the front door open and I am relieved to see Gale in the doorway. He lets himself in and sits next to me on my bed. I go willingly into his open arms, and once I finish crying he says, "I am so sorry, Katniss. If there's anything you need…" his grip loosens. I don't want him to leave, but I can hardly make him stay. He stands to go and I lay back down.
I flash back to this morning, trying to remember anything about Prim. I recall her lying motionless next to my mother, but I turned and walked out the front door. Without a goodbye, or a second glance. My last chance at a moment alone with her. For a moment, I think I could have another day with her at the end. After the games. When she comes home. But I know she'll be slaughtered in the Arena, brutally slain by a bloodthirsty career with unforgiving eyes. And he won't give her a second glance either.