New chapter is up… It's not too long, but decent enough, I think. Oh, and beware; there's a lot of emotional and slightly confusing stuff here…
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Itachi paced back and forth, trying to calm his nerves. What could be happening?! Is he… God, no… The very thought of someone hurting his love made every nerve in his body hurt with anger, and he couldn't resist dislodging a fireball at the barrier. Shit! Well, at least Sasuke knows I'm here… I'll keep him safe if I have to break that thing down with my bare hands.
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He knows I'm here. The raven tensed as dread overcame him and he felt the blast of power hit an invisible wall. I wonder if Kakashi even noticed… His sensei had earnestly attached himself to his neck and didn't seem to be aware of anything but the lovely taste and scent that was Sasuke. I guess he's enthusiastic enough for both of us. "Kakashi… I'm leaving now."
"No… You can't…" He tastes too good; I love knowing that I'm the cause of his lingering sweat. The Uchiha began to pull away from his embrace, and the reality hit him with a blow of crippling emotion. He's leaving me… He's going to find his insane brother, and he's never coming back. He'll never let me see him again.
The faint protest was exactly what he had expected, and he continued to draw back. He won't stop me. He didn't stop me when I left for Orochimaru, why would he now? At least Itachi seems to care. It had always bothered him that his sensei hadn't immediately searched the entire forest to find him as soon as he learned he was gone. Sure, it was selfish, but he thought it would be the jounin's only logical reaction. If I were in his position, that's what I would've done. Still, it wasn't that simple; it never was. Fuck it… It doesn't matter now, and, after I leave, it never will again. He smirked at the other's clinging touch, "I am. Now, do you want to give me my pants, or should I just take the chance of being raped and ravished?"
Kakashi gave a thin smile in return, easily conveying his displeasure at his student's casual manner. Nevertheless, he relinquished the article of clothing and turned away while the Uchiha slid into the tight fitting pants. He still thinks it's all a game… What the fuck do I have to do to show him that I love him? Wipe out a clan? Well, if that's what it takes… "You aren't going anywhere, not until I understand why you would choose him over me." He allowed his features to drop all hint of emotion as his voice dropped to a growl and he gripped the slim hips of the beautiful male before him in a ferocious attempt to halt any intentions of departure.
Anger… I've never seen him let so much loose on me. When we met before, when Kisame was there, I saw it smoldering behind his eyes, but never this… He's never been this mad at me before. "Kakashi… Stop… You're hurting-" His lips were overtaken by a hard, demanding kiss, the likes of which he had never received from the gray haired nin.
"Bullshit. You can take sixty times this without so much as flinching. Playing fragile and innocent won't work with me; I know now what you've become." The dark eyes hardened before him and the raven stiffened completely, his mask of indifference never failing. "I want to know why; I want to know the truth." Kakashi had never wished so much that he had the mangekyou sharingan; he wanted to tear the answers from Sasuke until he broke and told him everything. The only others that I've ever been this pissed at are his psychotic brother and the pedophilic snake... But now I see that he is the root of the emotion; he is the cause of my loss of control. He suppressed his near murderous urges and took a deep, shaking breath before moving his death grip to the Uchiha's muscular, but limp, shoulders. "If you can give me a good answer, you'll never see me again. You can go off and get fucked by your kin; I'm sure it won't be long before he foregoes the pleasantries… And, why should he bother if he has such a delicious little whore willing to fulfill his every fantasy?"
Sasuke remained impassive due only to all of his past practice; he wanted to scream. He tried to tell himself that the words didn't hurt, that they didn't encompass the fear he felt with all of his heart, that Kakashi didn't mean them. As he stood frozen, staring into the angry red eye as well as the normal one, he knew that now even his usually expressive eyes were completely blank in shock. I can't even begin to decide what to say to him… I know I owe him an answer, but I also know that I could run away, right into Itachi's arms. I could beg him to kill the man, my former teacher, who "raped" me. He would do it. All of his thoughts were meaningless, however; he knew he could never kill Kakashi, nor bring about harm of any sort. In a way I fear that I would die with him, that the part of me that still and always will belong to him would kill off the rest of me. But maybe that's for the best… The Uchiha stood stoically, voicing none of his thoughts, and let the other man tighten his grip and slam him against the barrier.
"Well? What happened? What made you this way?" I could guess, but… I need him to tell me; I need him to open up and give me an explanation for all that has occurred in just a few years. He marveled at how the raven could be staring straight back at him with absolutely no visible recognition or understanding. He seemed to be soulless; a mere empty shell of all the personality and emotion that once resided there long ago, back when they were happy. Fuck! I just want to fix him! I want to see the emotion that must be there! I have to find it in him… "Say something." Kakashi had all but lost his temper and was getting close to dealing blows.
"… I-" He paused, not really knowing what he was going to say. What does he want? Me to break down and tell him about all the shit I've been through in the past five years? No; I don't want to remember, and I won't as long as I can help it. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you how many times I've been shattered and rebuilt by hope that didn't exist. I can't tell you how much I wish I hadn't left you when I did. I can't tell you how much I wish I hadn't started anything between us in the first place." He paused and closed his eyes, trying unsuccessfully to reclaim the cold look he bore before. "It's over and done now; I can't let you keep caring about me while I'm capable of perceiving one thing, and one thing only: my love for Itachi." Who am I kidding? Right now it feels like my heart is tearing in two; that piece forever dedicated to Kakashi will be ripped out as soon as we part this time.
Kakashi took in the confession with a calm mixed with familiar hurt and surprise. I can see his real eyes now… This hurts him more than he'd care to admit; I hurt him. "I'll never stop loving you." The Uchiha stared back expectantly in response, clearly wanting some sort of liability release. "And I'm not going to make this easy for you. I hate this; you're breaking all of your promises, just like you did when you abandoned me five years ago." He sighed, remembering all of their loving time together; it seemed like ancient history. Or a dream… The perfect dream; the kind you have once, and close your eyes at every opportunity in a desperate attempt to have it again, to have any hint or inclination that you ever had it in the first place. His eyes filled with pain. But it never comes back… There's nothing even close. "I'm not going to sugarcoat this… When I look back on every moment we've ever had together, I'll curse the day I met you most of all; that's when I first knew that I loved you, that I could never love anyone else."
There were no words for the sudden, excruciating suffocation the raven felt as the man before him, the man he still loved, responded with bitter truths. He's being completely honest… That's what hurts most of all. Before he could muster up any response or begin to swallow the huge lump in his throat, Kakashi released the barrier and Itachi came crashing in.
The older Uchiha landed smoothly on his feet, which was fairly impressive considering the fact that he had been lunging at the invisible wall with all of his strength for the past several minutes. "Sasuke!" After the initial confusion and surprise at actually breaking through had passed, he turned to glare at the copy nin when he noticed that his little brother was half naked. "What the fuck did you do to him?" His anger was conveyed in a low growl that made Kakashi grip the raven tighter.
Now I'm almost glad I gave up the pants… Actually, no. I want him to know we did something; I want him to realize that we have something to be jealous of. "I've done many things to him, all with little or no resistance… Perhaps his generosity can be attributed to the fact that he thinks this is goodbye." He removed his mask and turned to the young male next to him, easily slipping his tongue between the slightly quivering lips; the boy had been avoiding eye contact with both of them, and didn't notice Kakashi's intentions before it was too late.
Nevertheless, he clenched his eyes shut and kissed back. This is goodbye; it has to be. I love Itachi more than I've ever loved anyone else, including you. Sasuke could feel the murderous rage radiating from their unlucky voyeur and raised a chakra enforced palm to deflect a poison needle that was headed straight for his sensei's heart. I'm sorry, nii-san; I'll make this up to you… I know your anger is well-warranted.
"Mnmm… There; see?" The jounin smirked at the Akatsuki member and licked his lips to emphasize the passion of the kiss before he reapplied his mask and turned to gaze at the raven. "I will say goodbye to you only with my dying breath… In the meantime, though, I guess I'll just have to read Icha Icha and wait for you to return to me so we can act out the latest book… Not that I'll stop coming on these pointless retrieval missions, of course."
Both Uchihas blinked slowly as they processed the unexpected confession of lechery. Itachi's glare intensified as he watched Kakashi's fingers grazing up and down his lovely brother, beginning at his collar bone and ending at a sharp hip as another needle was thrown with deadly execution. "Get away from him." Why the hell is he letting him tease me like this?! I'm going to make him pay long and hard… The thought never even crossed his mind that he might leave and spare himself the humiliation of watching the closeness between the former lovers. No… The old pervert was just taking advantage because I gave him the perfect opening. His rationalizations never failed; he didn't let them when it came to his otouto.
Sasuke caught the metal sliver in his fist and blatantly chose to ignore the message Itachi was trying to give him. Instead he gave a soft spoken request. "Ita… Could you excuse us for a moment?" He turned his head down to look at the dirt, for he decided only it could understand the low, sick feeling that was steadily rising within him as he recognized the agony in Itachi's eyes. I have to finish this, once and for all.
"No…" Kakashi's interjection surprised them both once again. "You should leave before the others get here. After all, I'm well overdue for a lecture on my selfish impulses from Neji now that the barrier is down." Damn. My egocentric streak finally wore off. I could feel the pain, the near revulsion, that he felt when I kissed him in front of his brother… Fuck, they really are in love. "My previous confessions still stand."
Itachi's eyes narrowed in anger, peeking through the shell of calm he was trying to maintain. "I could kill you for that."
He caught the older Uchiha's eyes and spoke directly to him, finally acknowledging the most painful awareness he had ever had to bear. "Relax. He chose you over me a long time ago… You have nothing to worry about." I could always feel him thinking of another; his eyes would glaze over and that far out look would possess him… It was all I could do to bring him back to me.
Sasuke's surprise at the sudden reclusion was conveyed easily enough by the expression he wore; mouth slightly agape, eyes widened from the cold expression he had worn only a few seconds ago, and, most of all, his body language showed nothing but relief. "Kakashi…" The jounin smiled sadly and nipped his earlobe before whispering something only he could hear. With that, the raven pressed a hand against the other's clothed chest and placed a light kiss over the covered lips. "Thank you… I'll never forget you."
Itachi watched the exchange with more than a little confusion, but felt little jealousy at his otouto's actions; it was a gesture of apology, appreciation, love… But most of all, he was comforted by the undeniable knowledge that they all possessed; the faint kiss represented closure, the end to all that had happened between teacher and student, the final act of affection. He really is mine now… All mine.
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A/N
So this is kind of just a transfer chapter, but I really got into the emotion of it… I was trying to convey how deep the bond between Kakashi and Sasuke was, and how hard it is to let something like that go.
The next chapter should be up rather soon… I'm feeling really inspired right now, so that's a good sign. (the only thing that will prevent it is if I happen to be allergic to general anesthesia, but we'll just have to see, now won't we?)
I'll be posting another oneshot soon… I'm thinking either GaaSasu or ItaSasu; I have a couple in mind. Any other pairings/plots that are tickling your fancies right now? I'm ready to write some hardcore yaoi :)
Thank you all SO much for reviewing!!! You are the only thing that keeps me going… I hope you'll continue to follow this story (I apologize for the lack of lemons lately… We'll have to get on that, huh?). Oh, and I'd like to thank witching hour25, who left literally like 22 reviews. I thought had encountered a glitch or something… It just seemed way too good to be true. Thanks again XD
Much Love,
Viotox