Chapter 4

It felt strange to be taking over the rooms Janeway had once called her own. Luckily, the furniture had been changed enough that he didn't feel too uncomfortable.

The first thing Chakotay noticed was that he had a message from Kathryn Janeway from late last night. He touched the command pad and immediately Kathryn's face appeared.

"Good morning, Chakotay. I assume you're already on your way to Deep Space Nine so I can only hope you get this message before you meet your crew." She took a deep breath, steeling herself for an unpleasant task. "I thought I should let you know that Seven will be joining you. I confirmed it just an hour ago. She'll be arriving before yourself. Feel free to call me when you get this."

Chakotay activated the screen and sent a message back to Earth. In less than a minute, Kathryn Janeway's face appeared once again in Chakotay's living room.

Kathryn's lips twitched into an irrepressible smile at seeing her friend. Being an admiral with access to long-range communicators had its perks. "Good evening, Chakotay."

"Hello, Kathryn. It's good to see you."

"Same here." The smile grew and Chakotay thought he knew what was coming. "Did you meet your new crew?"

"Some of them," said Chakotay, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh?"

This time he frowned outright. However, it was more from irritation than anger. "Why didn't you tell me that Seven of Nine and the Doctor would be tagging along?"

Kathryn remained unfazed, but the smirk faded to an understanding smile. "I didn't know the Doctor would be coming."

"So -"

"And I didn't know Seven would be joining you until after you left for Deep Space Nine."

Chakotay quirked an eyebrow at her. There was a twinkle in her eyes still that he didn't like.

"Well," she shrugged, "I didn't know if she was actually going to accept the assignment, but I did try to encourage her."

"Mind if I ask why she's needed?"

"Chakotay, all the top minds in Starfleet have been going over the scans and last transmissions of the Enterprise. Needless to say, if one of the most distinguished crews in all of Starfleet disappeared without a trace and no one is able to figure out what happened, the best will be needed to figure out what happened." Kathryn gave a small sigh. "Like it or not, she has a brilliant mind and more experience than anyone with stellar phenomena."

Running a hand over his tired eyes, Chakotay grimaced. "I didn't say she shouldn't be coming with us," he said. He was well aware that their chances of success were higher with her expertise. "I just wish you would have warned me." As much as Chakotay liked seeing Seven again, it was a bittersweet meeting too soon after the pain of breaking up and he wanted Kathryn to know not to arrange any more surprises for him.

"I'm sorry," said Kathryn, having the grace to look contrite. However, it didn't last. She looked impish as she continued. "I promise, the next time I'll give you due warning."

Chakotay scowled. Kathryn just laughed, thoroughly convinced her decisions about this mission were right.

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Day one.

The next morning came both too soon and too slowly for Chakotay. It was a strange feeling to be a captain on a ship he had never intended or expected to be captain of. Without Janeway, it didn't feel like the same Voyager and Chakotay wasn't sure he could or wanted to fill the void she had left. Everything on the ship had the essence of Janeway and their journey through the Delta Quadrant imprinted on it.

All the same, he entered the bridge to the familiar call of "Captain on deck," only this time it was for him. He paused to take it all in.

The carpets were clean, the equipment polished and the eyes of his crew were bright. Even the energy of the ship seemed more potent. Chakotay could almost sense the hurried movements of the crewmembers below the main deck. Yes, he could picture the engineering crew tinkering and rushing around the azure blue of the warp core. Voyager's newest physician, a Trill by the name of Dr. Jared Kal, was probably reading over medical files or arguing with the Doctor.

Captain Chakotay. The lives of his entire crew were entrusted to him. While staring around at the spotless bridge, it finally hit him. Captain Chakotay was him. These lives were his responsibility, if only for a short time.

Hoping the unpleasant feeling of inadequacy would pass, Chakotay headed to the captain's chair. All the eyes of the crew were on him. It reminded him of when he had to give a presentation in astronomy class. He had to stifle the urge to straighten his uniform.

There were new crewmembers at several stations. A young woman, an ensign, with dark brown hair and freckles had taken over ops. Chakotay recalled that her name was Ensign Sarah Volopolous. There was a new pilot as well, Lieutenant Ellie Horne, a petite brunette with hints of Asian heritage.

Chakotay's spirits couldn't help but lift at the joyful expression on Lieutenant Harry Kim's face. For a second it seemed like the old days. The excitement rubbed off on Chakotay, adding a bounce to his step.

Chakotay moved around Seven, who could have passed for a human crewman in her Starfleet jumper, if it weren't for the Borg implants. Unable to help himself, his eyes sought hers. For the first time since they parted on Earth, their gazes met and to his surprise, some of his excitement was reflected back. A smile, one he had never seen and could not entirely interpret graced her lips. The sight of it made something in Chakotay's chest feel lighter, the tenderness in the smile giving him steadiness and courage.

And just like that, he had descended the stairs to stand beside Tom. The poor man looked just as uncomfortable as Chakotay felt. Tom tugged at his uniform, attempting to straighten it, though there wasn't a wrinkle to be seen. For a moment they both just stared at their respective chairs, their seats of power.

They smiled nervously at each other. Chakotay clapped a hand on Tom's shoulder and was gratified to see some of the tension melt away.

"Never thought we'd make it this far either, huh?" said Tom.

"Honestly, no, I didn't."

Together they sat and faced the familiar view screen.

"All systems ready, captain," said Lieutenant Ellie Horne.

"Take us out then, Lieutenant."

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Day two.

The journey to where the Regulus was holding position just outside of the star system was predicted to take three days. From there, they would take about a week to get to the decimated planet, which Starfleet had deigned Beta 12. Normally, it wouldn't have taken that long to reach Beta 12, but the two captains decided to take extra time scanning the system as they went so they wouldn't miss anything. They were especially interested in seeing if the evidence of subspace rifts had anything to do with the Enterprise's disappearance.

Aside from reviewing information sent to them from the Regulus, the Voyager crew kept the hours from dragging by becoming properly familiar with the updated systems. Starfleet had thoroughly dissected the armour Voyager brought back from the Delta quadrant, melded it with their own defensive technology and added it to their ships.

A steady stream of people were in the hallway, mostly the lunch crowd heading back to work. Chakotay's stomach rumbled as though sensing it was getting nearer to food. The doors of the mess hall were in his sight and without thinking about it, he walked faster, joining a small group heading inside for a late lunch. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a traffic jam due to the number of people trying to get in and out at the same time and Chakotay was obliged to wait in line. Some of the crew nodded respectfully as he moved past them into the mess hall.

Ahead of him, a familiar flash of blond hair caught Chakotay's attention. He didn't want to shout so he waited until he could catch her attention some other way. They were milling near the counter by the time he could get close enough. "Seven." He caught her elbow. She turned in surprise at the contact and he immediately let go, smiling. "How are you doing?"

"I am functioning within normal parameters." Seven tried not to let her surprise be too evident, but it didn't work if the hurt on Chakotay's face was any indication. Guilt prodded her even as he teased.

"Good. When I heard the Doctor was joining you I thought there might be something wrong."

Despite herself, Seven smiled. "No, actually, the Doctor insisted he join the crew. He is certain that his talents will be required at some point during our journey."

"Ah, good to know some things never change." He indicated she should precede him in the line where Chell was handing out dishes and ladling out food. He was aware that she was watching him out the corner of her eye as they moved through the line-up and he decided to wait and see if what she would do. Would she run from him or show a desire for companionship?

They were at the end of the line.

Seven was uncertain what to do. On the one hand, it could give Chakotay the wrong impression if she were to spend superfluous time with him. However, she did enjoy his company. Even before they had started to date they had a few meals and conversations together. Seven took a breath.

A crewman jumped up from one of the tables and stopped Chakotay before Seven could so much as utter a syllable.

"Captain, I have a few things I wanted to talk to you about before we arrived."

"Of course, crewman." Chakotay frowned inwardly, but kept his outward composure. "What can I do for you?"

When the man finally left, happy to have gotten the information he wanted, Chakotay was surprised but pleased to find Seven had waited for him. Together, they found an empty table.

Only Seven noticed the looks they were getting.

They settled down to eat. Seven chose to question Chakotay, hoping to keep attention away from herself. "Are you still cataloguing artefacts from the Juarez site?"

"Until I was called in for this, yes. We found more evidence of that precursor god to Quetzalcoatl I was telling you about. So far we've found evidence of Kukulcan on almost all the top layers of the temple and the further down we go, the more we're seeing simplified versions of the same god. Actually, I wrote a paper about it."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"How far have you progressed in the digging?"

"We've made it down five layers so far, but I suspect there's a lot more to go."

"I admit, I was not expecting you to be leading this mission." Her gaze kept flickering to him.

"Neither was I," he admitted. "I didn't think I'd ever be a member of a Starfleet ship again let alone captain of one."

"Admiral Janeway asked you for a favour." It was not a question.

Chakotay nodded. "Kathryn said there was some hint of infiltration so they decided to choose someone a bit more removed from Starfleet."

Her eyes turned fully on him. "Are you planning to stay with Voyager once this mission is complete?"

The fork froze halfway to his mouth as he contemplated the idea. He had never asked himself that. As far as he had assumed, this was just a temporary situation. There had never been a desire in him for power or a leadership role. And yet, the idea was appealing. He was doing something important, something that held limitless possibilities. He could still explore the galaxy, study the various races and histories in it, but his ability and projects would be limited by Starfleet. Regulations and orders and everything else that had been a problem for him even before he joined the Maquis would still be there, still cause strain.

Seven was still waiting for an answer. He decided to be honest. "I don't know. I don't know what I want from Starfleet, if anything." He fell into silence, contemplating the pros and cons. Seven respected his quiet thoughtfulness.

"So, what have you been up to?" he asked after awhile.

"I was about to start my first shift on Starfleet's Think Tank."

"I had heard they finished construction. What's it like?"

Seven thought a moment about the impressive structure with its various labs and sterile atmosphere. "Clinical."

"What?" Chakotay laughed.

Seven chuckled a bit herself. "It is an impressive structure…"

"But it's not what you're used to or what you expected?"

She shook her head. "It contains the most advanced technology in Starfleet and is equipped to accommodate almost any experiment. There is no doubt it will serve Starfleet well. However, I did not realize how accustomed I had grown to a more intimate environment on Voyager."

Once again, they fell into silence as they picked at their food, uncertain what to say. Chakotay broke the silence. He spoke, his voice low. His expression was open and encouraging. It was evident he wanted them to get along.

"You look good, Seven. I'm glad you're doing well."

Her reply was so soft that Chakotay had to watch her lips to be sure of what she was saying. "Thank you, Chakotay. I appreciate your kindness to me." Her conscience wished to be cleared. She hesitated only a moment before confessing, "Socializing is proving difficult on such a large vessel as the Think Tank."

"I never thought I would hear you admit to being lonely." She dipped her head, self conscious to have admitted something so revealing. "Seven, I hope you know that you can talk to me any time about anything."

At the same time as Chakotay and Seven's conversation, on the opposite end of the room a group of five people were particularly curious. A Bajoran female, Lieutenant Iran Talana had pointed out the unusual pairing, but was now trying to avoid openly staring and now felt guilty for the moment of insensitivity. An Arcadian male, Ensign Gall and the Bajoran ensign, Ven Mallik, were trying to hide nothing. He practically gawked at Captain Chakotay and the Borg woman. The two humans, Ensign Mike Ramman and Ensign Sarah Lee were a little more subversive, only taking the occasional glance and only when it wouldn't be noticed.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Ensign Ramman asked.

"Why does it matter?" said Talana, stifling a groan.

"Come on. Aren't you the least bit curious?" said Ensign Gall. "Besides, don't you think it's at least a little unusual for him to be associating with her?"

"No." As one, her crewmates turned to her, their gazes challenging her to explain. "Don't you read? They were on Voyager together in the Delta Quadrant." She stabbed a carrot with vengeance. "Why wouldn't they spend time together?"

"She's Borg!" Ramman said, going red in the face. A few people from the tables around them glanced over. As one, Gall, Mallik and Lee shushed Ramman. He lowered his voice so that they had to lean in to hear him. "You may not think that's a big deal but it is to me. I know the Borg can't be trusted. I lost my sister to those monsters."

"Mike, calm down," said Lee. She took his hand, trying to sooth his abrupt and shocking anger. "Look at her. She's not --"

"She is," he insisted.

Mallik backed him up. "Once a Borg, always a Borg," he said. "Do you think that metal above her eye is just for decoration?"

"Of course not, but Captain Picard was assimilated and then disconnected successfully." said Talana. "And besides, I don't see her assimilating anyone, do you?"

"Not yet," said Ramman. "But does that even matter? After all the victims she's assimilated, why should she be shown favour, never mind trusted after everything she's done?"

Frustrated, Talana grew sarcastic. "So, you're saying the captain is cavorting with a Borg drone to do… what?" She rolled her eyes. "Or do you think they're working with the Collective to bring down Starfleet?"

"I don't know, but he is Maquis. Who knows what he's capable of? Besides, he doesn't seem like he's cut out to be captain."

"Will you keep your voice down?" said Mallik. He was looking to the side, watching as Seven walked past their table. She glanced over at them. Mallik and Talana met her gaze. They had the uncomfortable feeling the Borg woman had heard at least part of their discussion.

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Day three.

Guilt was possibly the most unpleasant sensation Seven decided. It felt even worse than loneliness. Her guilt was also confusing. That Chakotay had to fight because of her caused guilt, but so did the necessary steps it took to end the relationship. Still, she would rather feel the pain of letting him go than force him to be painted with the same brush as she was. He didn't deserve a life of conflict, to have to constantly work with her to be more human, to have to give up career and friends and family just to satisfy her selfish desires. No, it was better to let him go, even if he didn't see the benefits of it right now.

She didn't meet Chakotay in the mess hall as they had planned. Instead, she stayed at her post, nitpicking on minor tasks and ignored her hunger. The crew was already questioning Chakotay's leadership because of his association with her. What would they have said if they knew about their romantic involvement? At least for the duration of this mission she had to avoid interaction with him.

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The morning was dark as it always was on a ship in the middle of space. Despite the lack of sun and warmth, Chakotay woke happy or relatively so. Even as he opened his eyes, the memory of his time with Seven yesterday flooded him with hope. Their conversation had been stilted at first. It had been difficult to work up the courage to say as much as he had, but he anticipated the reward for his efforts would be success in the long run. Seven had even asked Chakotay to have breakfast with her today.

Chakotay's spirits were higher than they had been in a long time. So it was with anticipation and no hint of foreboding that he opened a written message that had been sent to his personal console. The header contained Seven's name, making Chakotay's expectation rise. Almost immediately his hope turned to ash.

The letter was short. It contained only a single sentence. He read it aloud, the extra time being needed to let the full meaning of her words sink in. "Captain, I will be unable to meet with you as planned."

He was disappointed, but not terribly surprised. Seven had a habit of getting close to people and then pushing them away. Still, he didn't understand what had changed. It bothered him more than he would have expected. It was as though Seven was sliding back into her old comfort zone of Borg-like efficiency and solitude.

It was tempting to go down to astrometrics and confront her right away and indeed, that was his first thought. However, Chakotay knew Seven well enough to know time and patience would be his best friend in this situation. Getting upset now would only drive her further away, even making friendship with her unlikely.

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The mess hall wasn't full when Chakotay entered, but each table already had at least two occupants. His appetite mostly gone, Chakotay grabbed some fruit and a cup of tea and looked for a place to sit.

A table off to the side had four seats, one of which was free. He didn't recognize any of the occupants, but none of the people in the mess hall were familiar besides Chell.

"Mind if I join you?"

At once their already hushed conversation stopped. The ensigns and one lieutenant looked up from their conversation with surprise.

"Of course, Captain." The lieutenant, a Bajoran, smiled and gestured for Chakotay to take the empty seat. Her manners were shy. Chakotay wondered just how long ago she had been promoted to a lieutenant.

"Thank you." He sat down and immediately felt a pressure to speak, but didn't know what to say or how to say it.

Ensign Sarah Lee, Ensign Gall and Lieutenant Talana were likewise at a loss for words, not used to having a captain sit with them as though they were equals.

Being the only lieutenant in the group, Talana introduced herself first. "Lieutenant Talana," she shook Chakotay's proffered hand. "This is Ensign Gall." They shook hands as well. "And this -"

"Ensign Lee," said Sarah, leaning across the table to grasp Chakotay's hand. She had practically leapt out of her seat to greet him, her smile wide and cheerful.

"Nice to meet you." He looked around the table. "Is this your first mission into the Beta Quadrant?"

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Ensign Lee was monitoring power consumption from her post in engineering when Ensign Ramman came up to her. Lee was focused on her task so she yelped and knocked a Padd to the ground at the unexpected feel of an unknown hand around her arm. They were hidden in a corner of engineering so no one noticed her fright.

"What are you doing?" It took all her effort not to yell. "You scared me." She snatched up the Padd from the floor.

Ramman didn't apologize. He didn't even look sorry. "I heard what happened this morning."

Lee rolled her eyes and turned her back on him. "What are you talking about?"

Ramman's eyes narrowed. "Gall said the Captain joined you guys for breakfast."

Lee continued to watch the readings. "So?"

"What did he ask you?"

"Nothing significant."

Ramman grabbed her upper arm again, spinning Lee around so that her wide, shocked eyes met his. "What did he ask you about?"

"He asked us about where we were from and what sort of missions we'd been on before. We all just chatted. He was nice."

"Are you sure?" Lee hesitated and Ramman shook her arm, anger turning his face red. "Is that all you talked about?"

"Y…y… yes, that's all." She trembled as her usually docile friend glared into her eyes. He finally released her and stalked away.