A/N Sorry a thousand times over for the lack of updates. First my computer crashed, then I started summer class. Today was my last day so I am finally back to writing.

Desperation turned to Hope

Six months ago if someone had told Mark that he'd be taking care of his newborn grandson, Mark would have called them insane. But he was and it was 2am in the morning and Mark feel like he was losing his mind. As a doctor he was used to the odd hours but they were usually spent at the hospital, not in his apartment with a screaming 3 day old baby. Mark hadn't slept in the 3 days since the baby was born and he was desperate for a good night sleep. Derek had offered to help tonight as had Callie and Arizona, but Mark had been adamant that he wanted to do this on his own. Sort of pennance for not being there when Sloane was a baby, forcing Samantha to do everything on her own.

Mark had tried everything with the baby who had yet to be named. He had rocked the baby, fed him changed him, everything. Mark was growing desperate and he needed help from someone who knew how to handle inconsolable babies. Callie, Arizona and even Derek didn't know what the hell they were doing. Mark could have called Lexie, but he didn't want to bother her. He knew how precious sleep was to a resident. So then his thoughts turned to his surrogate mother. Carolyn Shepherd had had five kids so she surely knew what to do. Mark didn't even care that she likely didn't know the whole story. He vaguely remembered a white lie Derek had told his mother about why they couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner in New York. Mark just needed the baby to stop screaming and go to sleep.

Mark didn't care that it was 5am in New York. He was almost positive that Carolyn was up anyway. Mark put the baby down in his crib and grabbed the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. It hadn't changed in over 30 years. The phone rang twice before Carolyn picked up.

"Mark, why on earth are you calling at 2am your time?" Carolyn demanded but with a note of concern in her voice. She was concerned that something had happened to Derek. Mark never called her on his own. So she knew whatever was going on, was big and very important.

"I can't get him to sleep. He keeps screaming and I don't know what to do." Mark told Carolyn in a very panicky tone. His panic was coming from utter exhaustion. Carolyn felt as though she was missing something here. It didn't sound as though it was about Derek. In fact it sounded like Mark was talking about a baby. As far as Carolyn knew Mark did not have a baby and if he had gone and become a father without telling her there was going to be hell to pay because no one had told her.

"What are you talking about?" Carolyn asked, clearly bewildered.

Then Mark recalled what he had just thought about before he called Carolyn. She didn't know all of this. She didn't know about Sloane or about his grandson.

"My daughter gave me my grandson." Mark told her. Of course it was more complex than that, but Mark was operating on very little sleep.

Carolyn was flabbergasted. She had had no idea that this was going on. She could hear the exhaustion in his voice so she decided to save the lecture for after he had gotten sleep.

"Can you please come to Seattle? I don't know what I am doing." Mark told her. He was desperate and he didn't want to bother his friends.

"I'll be on the first plane out." Carolyn promised. She knew Mark was overwhelmed, but she was surprised that Lexie wasn't helping him. She wondered if they had split after his daughter came into the picture.

"Can you bring Amelia and Nancy with you?" Mark asked. Amelia wouldn't ridicule him and Nancy had 4 kids of her own and she'd be a huge help.

"Actually Amy's in LA." Carolyn told Mark. Mark was confused and wondered if it had to do that the case that Addison had called Derek about a month or so ago.

"Get them both here." Mark repeated. He was desperate and he needed as much help as he could get. Kathleen would wonder if this was psychologically the best thing for the baby and for Mark. Jenna wouldn't be all that supportive. Mark needed his family and friends to be supportive. He was doing this as a single father.

"Where's Derek, why isn't he helping you?" Carolyn asked.

"He offered but he hadn't gotten time alone with Meredith for awhile so I told him to spend time with her and that I'd be okay." Mark replied.

"I like Meredith. Lord knows I like her better than Addison, but Derek should be with you, helping you out. Brothers are more important than fiancées." Carolyn told Mark. Then she felt bad for blurting something out that she should have kept to herself. In his exhausted haze Mark realized that Derek never told Carolyn that he and Meredith had gotten Post It married. Quite possibly the stupidest thing Mark had ever heard of.

"I'll be okay Mrs. Shepherd." Mark assured her.

"Humph." Carolyn grumbled. She was going to have a little talk with her son about the importance of family.

"Just come okay." Mark told her quietly.

"I'll be there with Amy and Nancy as soon as humanly possible." Carolyn promised. She rather abruptly hung up the phone and left Mark staring at the receiver in surprise.

A short distance away, Derek's phone was ringing. He just wanted sleep. After two rounds of sex with his lovely post it wife, he needed sleep. He reached for his phone and realized it was his mother calling. Now he was concerned. He sat up in bed and answered the phone.

"Everything okay Ma?" Derek asked in a hushed voice so as not to wake Meredith.

"You get your ass over to your brother's apartment right now young man." Carolyn growled. Derek froze. How had she found out about Mark and Sloane and the baby? Surely Mark hadn't called her at 5am her time.

"Who told you?" Derek asked. He couldn't believe that his mother had taken that tone with him. He wasn't ten years old anymore.

"Mark did. He called me clearly overwhelmed and he said he refused your offer of help. He's got a 3 day old baby and he appears to be alone." Carolyn answered.

"Ma, I know you want to help but Mark wanted to do this on his own. I guess to prove something." Derek told her.

"He asked me to come and to bring Nancy and Amy." Carolyn replied. Derek got out of bed and wandered downstairs so he could talk louder. Thankfully he had to good sense to put on pants after sex with Meredith. When Derek heard what his mother had said, he exhaled slowly. Mark really must have been overwhelmed. Especially to ask for Nancy and Amy.

"I'll get dressed and get over there right now." Derek finally told his mother. Carolyn Shepherd really knew how to make her son feel horribly guilty for not insisting on staying with Mark tonight.

"Thank you. I know he'll appreciate it even if he doesn't show it." Carolyn told Derek. Derek hung up the phone and on impulse he went back upstairs and knocked on Alex's door. Thankfully Alex was working tonight. Derek knew that Mark needed Lexie. He needed her love and support and Derek was going to make sure it was given. He didn't want to wait so he went in and turned on the light. Lexie shifted in the bed and then her brown eyes opened and she squinted as her eyes got used to the light.

"What is it?" Lexie mumbled.

"Come with me Lexie. Mark needs you." Derek told her. Lexie loved and missed Mark and she knew that was very obvious to everyone at the hospital. Still she had turned his pseudo marriage proposal down three days ago and she hadn't seen Mark since. Lexie didn't have to think long before she nodded at Derek. She knew there was a chance that he wouldn't want to see her, but she wanted to help.

"Meet you by your car in 5."Lexie told him. Derek smiled and closed the door behind him. Lexie got dressed in record time. By the time she was out by Derek's car only 3 minutes had passed. Derek came flying out of the house, pulling on his jacket as he did so. He had left a note for Meredith so she knew where they had gone.

Derek was normally a very safe calm driver, but this time he was flying to make it to Mark's place in record time. He wasn't sure why he was speeding. As far as he knew there was no emergency. He did feel bad that his mother had to tell him to get over to Mark's place. He knew that his mother was still in shock that her surrogate son had a daughter and a grandson. He had heard that tone in her voice. Derek was very glad that no one had told her that Addison had known too or that might have put Carolyn over the edge. Once they got to the apartment complex, both Derek and Lexie hurried upstairs. When they stepped off of the elevator they could hear the faint screams of a baby. They both knew that was Mark's grandson. They also both wondered why the noise was faint. As they approached the apartment door, the screams were louder. Thankfully Lexie still had her key and she put it into the lock and unlocked the door and stepped in.

Mark is in the living area holding a screaming baby boy whose face was bright red from the screams. Derek could tell that Mark was about ready to drop from exhaustion. Lexie thought she saw tears of frustration in her ex boyfriend's eyes. Mark was shocked when he realized his best friend and ex girlfriend were there in his apartment. If he was a little more awake, he'd wonder how they got in. Lexie calmly walked over to Mark and took the baby from his arms. Lexie was sure that the baby was sensing the tension that Mark was feeling and she knew that the baby needed to be in the arms of a calm person.

"Mom called, didn't she?" Mark asked quietly as he looked over at Derek. Derek nodded as he walked over to where Mark was still standing.

"You should have called me and told me you were overwhelmed." Derek told his best friend. He felt guilty for not being there tonight.

"When have I ever admitted to being overwhelmed Derek?" Mark asked. Derek knew that Mark was right. Lexie was now sitting on the couch rocking the baby and humming a soft tune. For the first time all night, the baby was quiet. That didn't make Mark feel any better. In fact he felt worse. How could he not calm his own grandson down. He felt useless.

"Go sleep Mark. We've got it from here." Derek told Mark. Mark was exhausted and so he nodded and disappeared into his bedroom. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Three hours later, the baby had been sleeping for two hours and Lexie was comfortable holding him. Derek wasn't doing anything. He was just sitting in a chair talking to Lexie. Just then Derek looked down at his watch and swore. He needed to head into the hospital for a craniotomy at looked at Lexie apologetically and Lexie smiled.

"Go Derek. I've got this." Lexie reassured her brother in law. Derek smiled at her and at the sleeping baby who did indeed have the Sloan nose.

"Call me later and let me know how Mark is?" Derek told Lexie as he reached the door. Lexie nodded from her place on the couch. Derek left the apartment and Lexie was once again in silence. She had come to the realization that Alex was a very poor substitute for Mark. She loved Mark and she wanted to have a family with him. Even if that family included a grandson that she had actually resented. Even if that made her grandma. Alex and her were never supposed to be serious and she wished that she had never started sleeping with Alex again. After all he had been the one who had forgotten he had slept with her.

Finally she heard footsteps coming into the kitchen area. She assumed that Mark was finally awake and Lexie hoped that he had gotten some well deserved rest. She could hear him fumbling in the kitchen and that told her that he was still pretty tired. When he came into the living area and sat down on the chair that Derek had vacated a short time ago, Lexie smiled at him. Mark managed a small smile.

"So he's finally asleep huh?" Mark murmured. He still felt like a failure for not being able to get him to sleep.

"Yeah. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping." Lexie admitted. Mark stood up and walked over to the couch and sat down beside Lexie. He would do anything in the world to get her to choose him. He loved her and he knew he couldn't do this parenting thing without her. He didn't have the patience for it. Mark was looking at her and Lexie could feel it. She looked up at him, their faces were only inches apart. Mark wanted to kiss her, yes he wanted to more than anything, but he would not be the dirty mistress again. If she wanted him, she would have to prove it by ending things with Alex first.

"Mark." Lexie whispered. Mark swallowed hard and resisted the urge to kiss her senseless right there. He loved the way she said his name.

"Lex." Mark whispered back. He could see Lexie's eyes brimming with unshed tears and he wanted to be able to stop her tears.

"It's not right. Not yet." Lexie whispered as she pulled away from Mark. She hated pulling away but this just wasn't the right time or place for her to forget everything and kiss the man she loved senseless. Mark felt his heart drop into his stomach when she pulled away. He knew that he wanted to make a life with her. He just hoped she wanted the same thing with him.

"Then when Lexie? When am I going to be the one you want?" Mark demanded, his sleep deprivation getting the best of him.

"I don't know okay? All I know is that I loved you more than anything and then when your daughter showed up, you put me on the backburner. You put us on the back burner. I became unimportant to you as you fought to deal with your guilt. Then you offered to help her raise the baby. Without even discussing it with me first." Lexie snapped. All of her pent up anger was exploding.

"I was trying to help my daughter." Mark argued.

"I would have dealt with it if you had discussed it with me first, but my feelings weren't even a consideration to you. You dropped everything for a young woman who you didn't even know." Lexie snapped again.

"That's what you do for family. You make sacrifices." Mark argued.

"I still love you Mark…Alex and I were never anything serious." Lexie whispered, desperate to leave the past in the past now that she had said her piece. Plus she kind of understood where Mark had come from. He had grown up with only the Shepherds as his true family and when someone with his DNA had appeared, he had wanted to do right by them.

"Marry me Lexie."Mark whispered. He was sure he was beginning to sound like a broken record, but he wanted to be able to call her his fiancée. He wanted to share the parenting thing with her because he was sure he'd fail as a solo parent.

"Mark…"Lexie whispered. She hated having to say no to him, and she really couldn't think of a reason to say no.

"Okay, lets start slowly. We didn't do slow when we first started, so let's do that now." Mark suggested. Lexie thought that was a good idea. They hadn't started off with a date. They had started with her asking him to teach her and stripping.

"I do love you." Lexie told him.

"I know,and we have to do it right this time. I want to start off by taking you on a date." Mark told her. Of course he loved her but he wanted to put the past in the past. As of right now he was a single dad and she was a friend turning into more. Privately Mark wasn't sure he'd be able to start over. Not with her, but if Derek could do it with Meredith, Mark was sure he and Lexie could do it.

"I'd like that. No more making decisions without me?" Lexie asked softly.

"No, I want your opinion on everything that concerns us." Mark told her. He wanted to kiss her, but he knew she needed to end whatever she was doing with Alex before he would feel comfortable doing that. Lexie could feel her eyelids getting heavy and she rested her head on Mark's shoulder with the baby still in her arms.

"Sleep Lex. I'll sleep too." Mark told her. Lexie nodded and within seconds she was asleep. Mark quickly followed. The three of them slept with the two adults dreaming of new beginnings and the hope for a future together.