Disclaimer: Me no own the song me use in this chapter, really (TT^TT)…
Love & Truth
24. Butterflies, Forget-me-nots
(Third Person's POV)
Once all of Naruto's friends got to know that the blonde woke up they rushed to talk to him.
There was a lot of awkwardness, especially with the other Jinchuuriki, as the boy could not really remember a thing about their time spent together and he was sorry about it, but they did not blame him. Even so the blonde kept apologizing throughout the whole day.
What hurt Naruto the most was that Sasuke did not come to see him, except for their talk. It was whenever he was alone that he started brooding about it.
'Did I do something wrong?' He could not help, but wonder, especially when he was nursing their children.
'Why doesn't he come for them at least?' The boy thought, trying to stop the wave of tears that was very likely to come.
'He doesn't want them?' Naruto thought, however when he thought harder, he knew that he did not see any resentment in the raven's eyes directed towards the babies when they spoke, there was something else in these onyx eyes though. The blonde shook his head, trying to get Sasuke's pained expression out of his mind.
'And what about me?' The blonde thought, his features darkening, as he hugged Makoto and Yori tighter as if clinging to the lifeline that they were in every sense of the word.
'He must hate me...'
L&T
It took another week before Tsunade deemed Naruto to be healthy enough to go home. However when Sakura came to the room Naruto stayed in, to help the boy as they decided, she found only a piece of paper with a message.
„I need to clear my head. Take Makoto and Yori to Sasuke-teme for the time being."
L&T
(Naruto's POV)
I ran through the forest aimlessly.
I knew that I'm probably only causing trouble, but I really needed to clear my head.
I needed the wind to make my mind run straighter, to make it possible for me to remember... I wanted to know why I caused Sasuke so much pain, but so far only shards kept appearing in my mind and they did not make any sense at all.
„Your ears are ringing already?"
„Like hell, dobe."
'That one must have been from the engagement party.' I thought as I was reminded of this memory... it was not a helpful one though.
I kept running hoping to remember more, realizing that it was the stereotypical motion that helped my brain to concentrate on something else.
„Did you hit your head? Men can't get pregnant."
„Gaara is!"
„What!"
„I said, that Gaara is, as in is pregnant."
„How is that even possible?"
I still couldn't quite process that Gaara was married to Neji of all people... and that they had a child already.
Another memory returned to me, showing me that I was not the only one who thought that.
„Hyuuga and Sand-freak are together?" Sasuke said chuckling in the memory.
„Yes, and don't call Gaara Sand-freak!"
„Okay, okay..."
„It is as impossible as..."
The memory continued somehow but I did not know how... and knowing that bothered me.
I only sighed as I ran through the forest. When the forest ended suddenly I was surprised where my legs took me to.
'The Valley of the End, really?' I chuckled to myself... It seemed as if there really was some sub-consciousness working for me.
I stood on Hashirama Senju's statue, remembering the fight that I had with Sasuke here. I almost expected for Sasuke to appear on the opposite statue, the one of Uchiha Madara. It was a strange feeling.
„Hey dobe."
„What is it Sasuke-teme?"
„I'm tired."
„I'd bet you are."
„Bring me home."
'Ah, yes Sasuke mentioned that the final battle of the Shinobi war was here.' I remembered, as Sasuke in my memory passed out. 'In the end I accomplished the goal.' I chuckled to myself inwardly, sitting on the cold stone.
„Sa- su- ke."As I mouthed that name wordlessly I felt a hand placed on my shoulder.
„I knew you'd be here." Sakura smiled as she sat next to me.
„Makoto and Yori?"
„At Sasuke's."
„And what are you doing here, may I ask?" I did not mean to be rude when asking this... it just did not make any sense to me.
„I'm searching for my lost friend... what is so wrong about that?"
„I'm not lost." I muttered.
„I did not mean lost in the sense of direction... You know that." Sakura sighed only as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. „Your case may be the worse of the two..."
„Why so?
„When you get lost on outside... on a way, you can ask someone to show you the way to the destination... once you get lost inside, there's no one to do that." She frowned.
„Funny that you say that... because I have someone like that... but they refuse to help me..." I breathed only, massaging my temples.
I could not help but smirk at not-understanding face Sakura put on.
„How come?"
„Do you remember who you are speaking to?" I laughed as I finally saw a light of realization blink.
„You mean Kyuubi?"
„Who else?" I sighed, hanging my shoulders, studying my hands. I was really feeling lost. I did not even have the dreams about teme any more. I thought that after three years the fox would stop sulking... Apparently not.
„You know..." I started after a long pause in conversation. „... I don't know what to do any longer. I really wish that I would just remember everything... but it does not want to come back. Why?"
„Give it time..." Sakura said, patting my shoulder softly. It was a comforting, yet not very helping, gesture. It only made me wonder about my uselessness more.
„Could you leave me alone for a while?" I whispered, as I felt tears gather in my eyes. I did not feel very comfortable crying in front of someone. Sakura seemed to understand that and stood up, following that action by walking away soon.
Once she did I was once again alone, the surrounding nature, being the only one to listen my dark thoughts.
L&T
(Sasuke's POV)
'What am I doing?' I sighed as I placed Makoto in the crib, right next to his brother who shared his hair colour with me.
'Is this really the right thing to do?' I asked myself. 'Should it really be like this? Maybe I should have done it differently...'
'Yeah, you should have...' As soon as the voice resonated through my head I got struck by a headache.
'Shut up, will you? I really am not in a mood where I'd put up with your damned gibberish.'
'As you think... I just wanted to say that you're forgetting about something...'
'And what that would be, dare I ask?'
'I so am not telling... Try figuring it out yourself...' After saying that the demon went quiet.
'What did he mean by that?' I sighed to myself, thinking about it for a while, however as soon as I heard Yori wake up this conversation slipped my mind completely.
L&T
(Naruto's POV)
I stayed away from people's sight for many days, always sneaking away before the sun went up and returning to the apartment only after it got dark.
There was only one place I always went to, The Valley of the End, it apparently worked the best on returning my memories, probably because a lot of events in my life took place there... because the directions of my life were always decided here.
The first time was when I went after Sasuke. Because I did not manage to stop him here I decided to go train in order to become strong enough to bring him back.
Then the time after war, after Sasuke returned, after we ended war with our cooperation... It was then that I decided that I'll stay on Sasuke's side always.
These thoughts returned me to a memory that I got only yesterday...
When the cuffs were removed teme massaged his wrists as he finally felt free from the jutsu which has been cutting off his chakra circulation.
The way that Tsunade-baa-chan looked at Sasuke when he did that made a shiver come down my spine. She looked at him as if she was sure that he'll definitely do something.
'Why would he?' I thought.
If however Sasuke really chose to go again - hopefully not on some revege-quest of sorts - I would follow him. I would go with him, to be more precise. I would not be able to bear losing him like that once again. He meant too much for me and I was fully aware of that.
I sighed as I retraced my way of thinking at the time... I knew that I felt exactly the same at the moment... and it hurt me to think that Sasuke did not feel the same.
L&T
(Sasuke's POV)
I did not see dobe for few days already. I was quite worried, but Sakura told me not to push him. That it would be better to let him be alone for the time being.
I accepted the fact that I should not speak to dobe... that however did not stop me from going to check on him every now and then. I went to observe dobe. After all, looking at him from the distance was better than not seeing him at all.
As I once again reached The Valley of the End I noticed that Naruto for once was not sitting on Hashirama's head, as he usually did. Instead he stood on one of the rocks which disrupted the flow of the waterfall, looking at the statue of Uchiha Madara.
It was only when I came a little closer that I noticed his lips moving, as if he was speaking to the man, from his stance and gestures, more like accusing him of something, I'd guess.
Even if I was not quite a fan of eavesdropping I wanted to know what Naruto was saying, and so I activated the Sharingan, reading his lips.
„Kakashi once said that you and the First have quite a similar fate as me and Sasuke... Honestly... I can't say that I never really saw the similarity. You and Sasuke were both driven by power, but the First was fighting to protect the village. My reason was not as great as his was. Even with Sasuke being a threat to Konoha I could not kill him... I wouldn't be able to..."
"I really am a lost cause... not only when it comes to teme. After all I can't remember three years of my life... as if the way villagers treat me once again was not enough..."
'Naruto...' I could not help but worry when I looked at him. I suddenly understood his reason for not being in the village most of the time, the change in the behaviour must have been worse than a direct punch to Solar plexus for Naruto, seeing the change as if it happened overnight.
During my reminiscence Naruto returned to his favourite spot on Hashirama's head and continued talking.
„I can't remember much still, only shards... I don't want to face teme like this." I knew that what he said equalled to pretty much a whisper.
'Does it still matter to him? My presence?' I could not help but think.
„I just want this to end... Would it end if I disappeared?"
My eyes widened at what Naruto was implying. It returned me to when Hyuuga came to meet me after he met Naruto in that who-knows-how-named village.
„He tried to kill himself… More than just once."
„Why?"
„Try to find an answer… Uchiha… He's shunned by most of the village he loves dearly… The number of his friends is considerably small… When his love for a certain idiot is finally returned… when he conceives a child, by what you can call a miracle, with this person he loves the most in the world… He's stabbed in the back by him… by this… betrayal of yours. Who wouldn't want to kill themselves? He's not as strong inside as you may think… He may smile most of the time, but his soul is fragile also… just as any human's is… You know… if not for Kyuubi and its healing abilities… he would be dead now."
'Is it that unbearable for him at the moment also?' It pained me to see Naruto like that.
I watched Naruto for a while longer, almost determined to go after him, when I saw that something caught his attention.
On a closer look and few more steps closer I identified the centre of Naruto's attention as a butterfly.
„I wish I could fly like you..." I read from dobe's mouth. It was enough to look at him to know how sad it sounded.
To my surprise Naruto suddenly stood up, letting the butterfly to fly freely.
„Float on, to the painted sky, where dreams will be unified as I'm swept inside..."
These words were barely a whisper, but I could read them clearly, the meaning of them however did not get caught by me... until Naruto started singing, making it resonate throughout the valley.
„Multiply humanity, harmonize insanity,
Sharing light of remedy, pulling tides of clarity,
Shattered glass in flower beds, humanize inhumane ends.
It's all the same for The Dreamers, it's all the same... for us...
Float on to the painted sky where dreams will be unified as I'm swept inside
Where butterflies...
Utilize surrendering, when silence falls, to you it sings,
Sterilize your mentality, compromise your reality,
Restful mind and peaceful eyes,
When sound is gone, then you will find,
It's all the same for The Dreamers, it's all the same... for us... for us...
Float on to the painted sky where dreams will be unified as I'm swept inside
Float on to the painted sky where we will be unified as I stand inside
Where butterflies... never die
Where butterflies..."
["Where butterflies never die" by Broken Iris (^^), a wonderful song I simply fell in love with... highly recommended °(^0^)°]
As the last words disappeared in echoes I was struck speechless with the emotions of the song. I was so entranced by the remnants of the song that I did not notice someone behind me until the person spoke.
„Wow... I did not hear him singing for a while, but it is as good as it was before... even better I dare to say." The Jinchuuriki -whose name was Amaya as I got to know - said.
As she did I turned around, noticing that she was not alone, along with her the three other Jinchuuriki came also.
„Will Naru-nii be all right?" Haku younger-version asked, looking up to me with those ridiculously huge dark eyes of his.
„I hope so..." I could only sigh as I noted that Naruto returned to the strange stillness of meditation. „I really do..."
„Why are you not doing anything then?" the guy few years younger than me, Mamoru, asked. If not for the concern in his voice I would have punched him.
„Maybe it will be better like thi..."
I did not even get to end the sentence as I got slapped.
I was so shocked by the motion the woman made that I stayed with my head turned for a moment, eyes turning, head following later.
„How can you say that?" Amaya hissed. „How can you say that this..." She pointed at Naruto. „... is better? We may not know Naruto as you do, but it's enough to see that he is not happy like this. He wants to change it, but he can't do that alone Uchiha. He needs a helping hand, he needs a guide."
I did not look at the woman any more, I had my eyes fixated on the love of my life, drowning in his sadness.
„I know..."
L&T
(Naruto's POV)
I returned to the apartment as I usually did... way past sunset.
Once I shed my clothes I only fell on the bed which seemed so cold to me. I however knew, somewhere deep inside, that I did not always think that... that there was a bed which I actually was looking forward to return to.
'When was that?'
I sighed as I rolled over.
'I wish that I could at least see those flower fields I saw teme at... that would be nice.'
Wondering about this – for some – insignificant thought I fell asleep.
L&T
(Third Person's POV)
How big Naruto's surprise was when he actually found himself on the fields he wanted to be at.
He looked around, amazed, breathing in the air he did not know for quite some time, then suddenly his look fell on the flowers that were around... There were many black flowers around, as there were lately, he felt, but most dominant colour on the field was not black. It was blue.
The blue of Forget-me-nots that overtook the field.
Naruto almost felt like laughing at the sigh, however it quickly turned into crying. The tears though, were soon wiped away by the hand of a man Naruto did not see coming.
„Teme!" Naruto exclaimed as he tackled the raven to the ground. The said man could only huff in response as all the air was out of his lungs suddenly.
As Naruto leaned closer to the raven's face, to steal a kiss, the man pulled away.
„What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, realizing his mistake second late.
„This is my dream! Why can't I do what I want at least here?" Naruto sniffed, depression taking over once again.
'Dream...' Sasuke sighed to himself only... 'That's what we'll keep it like for now.'
„Okay, okay... no protests..." The raven said as he placed a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips. „You're the master here."
„Of course I am! Who else would be?" Naruto asked, confused.
„What about me?" Sasuke smirked in response as he sealed his lips with Naruto once again, this time in a deeper, more intense kiss.
„I don't think I'd mind that that much." Naruto breathed as they pulled apart for air.
„I thought so." the raven smirked in response.
'I know you quite well after all.'
L&T
After some time passed it was finally time to depart to reality.
„I don't want to go yet." Naruto sighed sadly.
„Why is it that you don't want to leave here?" Sasuke asked, knowing the answer beforehand.
„Because, once I leave here, then whenever I open my eyes, you won't be there." Naruto answered, hugging the raven tightly.
Sasuke could only sadden as he heard the answer he heard dozens of times already. Even after the blonde disappeared in a whirlwind of Forget-me-nots he did not stop thinking like that.
'This time however, it is not a matter of eyes Naruto... It's a matter of a heart.'
Thinking so the raven only overlooked the blue plains with mournful look for the last time, before disappearing from the dream land also.
Leaving the grieving plains to wait for once-lovers' another encounter.
Done~
There are a lot of flashbacks in the chapter.. I expect the following chapter to be of a similar doing also... if someone has trouble with it, don't hesitate to say so... I'll try to limit it (^^;)
ANYWAY, there's a new POLL at my page, as this ff is slowly but steadily nearing it's end... Every vote appreciated (^^)
(A/N - 29th Jun. 2013 - chapters 21-24 self-beta-ed, corrections made)
See ya~ ( "-.-)/