Love & Truth

25. Useful Advices, Hurtful Memories

(Sasuke's POV)

Aside from his occasional visits to take care of the children it was only after a month of his solitude that Naruto actually started going to the village from time to time. Even then he stayed holed up in his apartment or running outside most of the day.

I was worried about him.

Aside from being afraid for him for that it was also his health that made me concerned. He looked as if he was fading before my eyes, slowly getting thinner and thinner, his skin taking a ghastly look, the sparkle from his eyes disappearing. Only when he was with Makoto and Yori, it seemed to return.

Because of it I could not refuse when he came to me, his eyes not meeting mine, his straightforwardness long forgotten apparently.

„Is it okay if I stay here overnight?" He asked softly. „I want to spend a bit more time with them."

I only sighed. I felt as if I went over that question with him like million times already.

„Naruto... they're your children also, I don't plan to keep them from you... Of course you can come and see them."

Dobe did not respond to that with words however. He only nodded quietly, returning his attention to the twins. It made me feel left out.

I so wanted to tell him everything, but at the same time I was aware that it would do no good.

I looked at the shadow of my once-lover one more time, maybe hoping to see some change, then turned to door and walked out of the room, not being able to bear the sight.

He was so far gone from the ever-happy sun I used to know.

L&T

(Naruto's POV)

I looked after Sasuke, who closed the door to the children's room after himself, with a sad glance.

„Ne-e, Makoto..." I whispered to the blonde boy in my arms, only to have his big black eyes staring back at me. „What should I do?"

„Shouldn't you try asking someone who can actually answer?" I heard a female voice behind me say. It did not take long for me to realize whom it belonged to.

„Sakura-chan." I smiled sadly as I turned to one of my first friends ever. „You look great." I said after a while, seeing how she eyed me back.

„Thank you, but you certainly do not look so great." She sighed, taking Yori who just woke up from his crib. „You're worrying us." She then said silently, almost inaudibly, however still loud enough for me to hear.

„Who is us, Sakura-chan? There's not much of us, not any more..."

„That is not true, you've got way more people than you think around you... Sasuke..."

„You sure about that?" I cut her mid-sentence, not being able to hide the thread of hope it held, which she must have noticed.

„About him? More than with everyone else." She smiled. „Then there's of course me, Lee..."

„And your little creation on the way." I could not help, but grin.

„And just how can you know about that?" She asked, placing her free hand just above her hip.

„I'm not stupid, Sakura-chan, I've been through all you've went through lately also, it was not that hard to put two and two together... besides, the baby's chakra is starting to get visible, Neji said."

„I guess..." She went silent for a while then continued her speech from before.

„There are also all the Jinchuuriki... They really hope to see you get better, not to mention that Haku begs me every time I see him to bring you along sometimes..."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Sakura-chan did not let me.

„... and most of all... Uzumaki Naruto, you ungrateful child, are you sure you did not forget about meeting someone in the time you're moping around? Someone very important, I dare to say?"

I stared dumbly at her for a while, trying to sort my thoughts at which I failed miserably as they were all jumbled and out of their rightful places. It was only after Sakura dragged one of her fingers across the bridge of her nose, as if by an accident, that it finally clicked in my head.

„Iruka-sensei!" I gasped, startling Makoto with the rash action, having to soothe him in the following second. 'How could I have forgotten?' I could not help but think sadly. „I'll go see him later." I said in the end.

„You better do... he might help you more than I would."

It was when Sakura-chan said that that a conversation, which I must have had with Iruka-sensei some time back, reappeared in my mind.

„You know Iruka-sensei, if not for you, I wouldn't be here. I would have died because of that Mizuki bastard way back, before I even became genin. It's just that sometimes... Sometimes I wish that you'd let me be... back then... I'd be with mum and dad now... and I wouldn't have to go through all this. Through all these troubles with Kyuubi, seeing so many people die during the war... and that was a lot... considering that my clones were at all parts of battlefield... And most of all... I wouldn't have to go through all the mess concerning Sasuke."

„But I thought that it goes well for you two lately." Iruka-sensei said out loud, voicing his concern out loud.

„Sometimes, it would be better if it didn't..." I trailed off. After few seconds I added in a whisper. „It would not hurt so much to just lose it, then..."

'We were together?' was one of the few information that my brain processed from the talk. 'Were we really? How come no one told me?'

I eyed Sakura-chan for a while, seeing how confused she seemed about me going quiet for quite a while all of sudden. I paid no attention to the concern, however. What I needed now were answers.

„Sakura-chan, if I ask you a question now, would you tell me the answer to whatever I asked?"

„If I knew the answer, then yes..." She answered, probably not yet getting what I was about to ask, and what I was almost sure someone forbid her to tell.

„Anything, really?" after a nod I gathered whatever courage I had left and asked. „Did Sasuke and me ever date?"

I saw her widen her eyes, managing to do a good imitation of a fish, then averting her gaze.

„I take that as yes." I stated only to which she did not reply. It only made me even more confused. I did not understand.

'What has gone wrong, then?' I asked myself.

Following this trail of thoughts I returned to a sentence I've been beating myself over... the one Sasuke told me not soon after I woke up in the hospital.

„There really were no hard feeling involved..."

L&T

(Sasuke's POV)

When Sakura told me about her latest conversation with Naruto I could not help but feel worried and happy at the same time.

Happy, because Naruto seemed to now remember enough to at least estimate that there was a relationship between the two of us.

Worried, because I was not sure whether he'd like all of the memories that are to come back.

'He's not at the crucial point, yet, after all. Well... I hope he is not.'

L&T

(Naruto's POV)

I paced through the village, going to meet Iruka-sensei, trying not to listen to all the insults which were being thrown at me.

„He's a slut, no arguing about that."

„I'd bet he's selling himself."

„The demon."

„Are the children really Uchiha's?"

„He's the dirty spot on the face of our village!"

„Disappear!"

'Don't listen. Don't listen. Don't listen...' I repeated to myself as a mantra of sorts, though it did not help any. I somehow knew that I listened to gibberish very similar to what I heard now throughout the last two years, or so, quite a lot. It hurt me even more so and thus I tried to block them from my mind.

I could only hope that I'd reach my goal soon enough for the tears that were starting to gather in the corners of my eyes to not cause them satisfaction by falling down.

L&T

(Iruka's POV)

„Naruto!" I exclaimed, as I opened the door to find a tear-eyed boy on my the doorstep.

„Is it okay if I come inside for a while?" He sobbed, trying to wipe the tears with the back of his hand, not being very successful as new streams always replaced them instantly.

„Yeah, sure." I only managed to say, stepping aside.

„I'm sorry to be a bother." I only heard Naruto sniff, once he reached the living room, sitting on the couch silently.

I wanted to make some tea, but after seeing the state Naruto was in I decided against it and sat right next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder.

„What's wrong?" I asked after a while, when I thought that Naruto was a bit better.

„What isn't?" He asked back, still sniffling. „What should I do, Iruka-sensei?" I could see how lost he was about it, but I was not really sure whether I was able to help him with the matter.

„You should know the answer yourself." I said in the end.

„And from what should I get it? My brain does not supply me with the information necessary." Naruto mumbled, studying his hands. „It's pretty blank as of the current time... From the past three years I know like two months at most."

„And what does the brain tell you?" I asked.

„That I'm screwed." Naruto huffed and I could see new tears threatening to fall.

„And what about heart?" I asked, turning his sad face to me so I'd look him in the eye. „What does the heart say?"

„That I should not give up." He said after thinking about it for a while, smiling sadly.

„And were you ever the one who was lead by brain?" I could not help but smile in return.

„No..." He answered, looking at me blankly for a moment, then a light of realization switched on. „No..."

„And who asked you to change?"

L&T

(Naruto's POV)

By the time I returned to the apartment I long ago given up on calling home I replayed the conversation I had with Iruka-sensei like thousand times in my head already. There was a definite truth in it. There however still was a matter of my slowly returning memories.

„When do you think would be the right time to leave?"

„Never."

I got to know only later that I had to leave when I was about three months along, something about being safe, however I was well aware that could not have been taken without resistance from my side... this memory of my conversation with Tsunade-baa confirmed it.

I was however still overloaded with memories that I was not sure how to put together, not knowing the order of them, nor sense of them. They simply created a mess in my head.

„I love you. Always you, no one else."

I had no doubts about whom I said this sentence to.

„You know me and Sasuke... We both had it... with gaining and losing I wouldn't get from it, if I lost him also."

'That was truth only... how we've come to this then, I have no idea.'

„Secret is a heavy burden sometimes, isn't it? But sometimes, when you have someone really close to share it with, it can lift some weight from your shoulders."

'I think I know that better than anyone else...' I sighed to myself, not really knowing where to sort this memory to.

„Too bad we have to wait till tomorrow." I heard Sasuke's unmistakable, beautiful voice in the memory chuckle „Tomorrow, I'll have you in my arms."

'What did he mean by that?' [it's a part of the "dream conversations". Don't forget, Naruto forgot that their dreams are connected] I wondered, as I walked to the bed, only to slump on its ridiculously cold sheets.

„Forgiven... just... don't leave again... Please... promise me you won't... Promise me this much and then I'll try to forget about it..."

I could almost feel the soft kiss that Sasuke placed atop my head in the memory.

„It's a promise."

'Did we stay together then?' I asked myself, the onslaught of new memories confusing me.

„You've got our babies here... You're amazing..."

'For once I recalled a happy memory.' I thought at the sound of Sasuke's voice which was underlined with passion, closing my eyes in delight, bathing in its gentleness.

„Why? Why? WHY? Everything went so fine... Why must it be like this. What have I done wrong to not deserve even an ounce of happiness?"

'What went wrong?'

„Fine, do as you want, but don't you come crying later."

„Don't leave me... Please."

'What did?'

„Maybe it was not good idea to start going out, after all."

„No... Please... no!"

„I want to break up."

As this memory struck me I opened my eyes wide and I could feel tears stream down my face, what words Sasuke told me echoing once again in my head.

„There really were no hard feeling involved..."

'Was than what he meant?' I cried covering my face with my hands, attaining difficulties with breathing in less than a minute.

'He wanted to get rid of me like this?' I continued thinking, shivering wildly, a sound of despair escaping through my chattering teeth.

It was then that a memory of our first night together struck me.

„S-Sasuke-te..." I was cut off by his lips.

As I opened my mouth to protest, Sasuke took advantage of it and invaded my mouth, dominating it completely. He took his time exploring it until we were both in need of air and pulled off.

„Te-Teme what are you doing?" I asked confusedly.

Sasuke did not respond, he started licking my neck instead.

I knew I've dreamed of this, for a very long time, though I was sure such a day will never come. I always thought that the two of us were never meant to be...

But then again ...

'Why is this happening?

Why is Sasuke doing this?

What about the seal?

Why did it not disappear?

What the hell does all this mean?'

Throughout the time all those thoughts rushed through my head, Sasuke managed to drag me to the bedroom. He also stripped me from every single part of my clothes in a few seconds flat.

As I wanted to protest he threw me to the bed, climbing on a top of me in the following second. That was when I noticed that he started undressing himself also. I absent-mindedly reached out to touch his well toned muscles, only to get my hand grabbed, as he pulled me closer to him to lock our lips once again.

We savoured each other as if there was no tomorrow. Once we separated, because of the need of air I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on inside of his head. I had no luck in that. He started to take an action instead and started caressing my whole body.

When he touched my nipples I became embarrassed and wanted to push him away, but he was persistent. Instead of retreating, he started licking one of them and reached for my member with his hand, which caused me to moan softly. He got encouraged by that and trailed his fingers up my shaft, squeezing it softly right after.

„Sa-Sasuke-teme..." I started. „Sto – ah – stop that..."

„Naruto..."

It was the first word he said... I loved the way he said my name. His voice, so filled with lust, sounded so... alluring.

I saw him lick his fingers, and I saw the look in his eyes. And I could very well imagine his next actions.

I gasped as I felt one of the fingers inside me. It did hurt, but it was more of strange feeling, if I were to say. He moved the finger around a bit and then added another. Another gasp rasped from me as he did so. He started a scissoring motion so I would get used to it. He added third finger once he thought I am. That did hurt.

„Sasuke..." I said as he stirred his fingers inside me.

I gasped a bit, when I saw his seal spread further on his body. I did not understand what provoked it, but a moment later I exhaled, relieved, when I saw it stop.

He eyed me suspiciously and then removed his fingers.

I began to feel really, and I mean really, nervous when he positioned himself.

He was aware of it, I was sure. He leaned closer to kiss me. When our tongues battled for dominance once again, he shoved deeply into me in one fierce thrust.

I cried out in his mouth, only to be soothed by his gentle caresses, moment later. He then waited for me to adjust to the intrusion.

He was so tender even when he did not seem to realize what he was doing.

'When he's drunk, he usually doesn't remember anything the day after.' I thought. 'Then I doubt he'll remember this tomorrow.'

Sasuke started moving inside me, once I gave him a nod. He retreated almost all the way and slammed deep inside me. After a while he set a slow pace.

All of sudden I saw stars. He hit a spot inside me that made me feel like burning. It made me moan out loudly and I earned an approving groan from him. From then on he reached to this special spot inside of me all the time.

Once I felt my release coming closer I saw Sasuke being like that also. He sped up the pace and it caused me to moan with every single movement he did, not that I realized it.

In a matter of seconds I came, screaming his name. Sasuke came right after I did, breathing my name into my neck, releasing himself deep inside me.

'I must tell him.' I thought.

„Sasuke..." I started as I looked at him, now in his full seal form – except for those creepy, hand-like wings. He looked straight into my eyes as if he urged me to continue.

„I love you, Sasuke."

I cried even harder at the gentleness of the memory, making Sasuke's later words echo through my head even more intensely.

„There really were no hard feeling involved... we were just completely out of it and it sort of … happened."

'On your side.. that was... That's what you should have said... What you forgot to mention.' I continued crying, not even noticing that my voice was escaping my mouth in a scream already.

As I was too out of my right mind I even failed to notice when a person ran into the house, a smaller one following the first.

I did not notice until the first person started shaking my shoulders violently.

„Naruto-san!" a woman's voice exclaimed, snapping me out of it enough for me to stop screaming. However the person I saw before my eyes was the last one I expected to see here. One I would not even know if I did not have any of my memories back, which would be ungrateful, considering how much she's done for me.

„Namida-nee-chan!" The smaller person squealed, jumping on my bed in a second.

I turned back to the woman, only to see her smile at me.

„Long time no see."

Done~

Huff... seriously I am sorry that it took a bit longer than usual but I had a serious block about this story mid-week and I did not want to feed you rubbish... as an apologize the chapter is quite a long one and even though like 1/4 of it are flashbacks I hope you'll enjoy :) ... there still will be few more until Naruto regains all of his memories...

Anyway... As always I would love to hear your opinions (^-^)

Also.. as for the poll.. so far the leader is Kuroshitsuji :p.. if you have something against it, or you want to streghten its position, can you please go and vote? o(O.O)o

See ya~ ( "-.-)/