Title: I Hate You, Got it Memorized?
Author: Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)
Disclaimer: Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?
Pairings: Axel/Sora
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it.

Summary: They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more?

Author's Note: So yeah..Don't think I have anything to say...just that I'm in the middle of writing two other one-shots, I know I KNOW! I need to stick to the stories I already have. But I just can't, there's too many ideas going around in my head. And one started last night, that ones a Cleon, so I should have it up either tonight or tomorrow. It's gonna be M(?) Rated? So yeah, look out for that, and PLEASE review and I'll, give you SMUT!!!!!!!

xxx

Once my idiotic brother and his equally retarded boyfriend cleaned up the living room some, we all settle in various spots around the room as an uncomfortable silence fell over us.

"Why, Axel?" Roxas asked, teeth gritted together, "Why did you leave Sora, without a word?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. Sora and I talked, and now it's over with." Axel said calmly, taking my hand in his, squeezing slightly.

"It's not over with. And you do have to explain." Hayner growled out, holding Roxas' hand in the same manner on the couch opposite of ours.

"Yes it is." Axel said in a tone that left no room for discussion. But apparently, Roxas and Hayner didn't get the point.

"No, Axel. I'm tired of sitting by and letting you use my brother like he's some…" Roxas trailed off, trying to think of something to compare me with. "Anyways, I've had enough, and I don't think Sora should be with you." I gaped at him and was about to say…do something.

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me that I can't be with him? Just because he's a mute doesn't mean he's a child, and doesn't mean he can't make decisions for himself. So don't you dare tell him what he can or cannot do, or date." Axel stood up, pulled me up with him, and started walking upstairs; knowing that anywhere else would be too much of a feat for me.

"Stop!" Hayner all but growled, standing and stepping forward. He grabbed the front of my boyfriend's shirt, pulling him closer. He was asking for trouble, Hayner was. Axel wasn't one to be manhandled, "You need to leave and never come back!" He hissed, his eyes narrowed dangerously and I was waiting for Axel to do something drastic...but it never came.

I looked up at my boyfriend's face, and it was calm and stoic. I frowned as Hayner continued to speak, "You're a fucking jerk off, you know that?" He snapped, "You left..." He started, pausing only to snatch me away from him and pass me off to Roxas, "...and, then come back. Expecting us to just let you waltz back into our lives like Sora did. Well, news flash, I'm not Sora!"

I struggled against my brother's arms as he dragged me to the kitchen, wanting to get back to Axel. To break them apart before something bad happened. I knew Axel's temper and Hayner's wasn't much better. "But, you know what asshole..." My brother's blond haired boyfriend started up again, "I care about Sora. Roxas cares about Sora. Who was there when he was crying all night, when he wouldn't eat anything, when he refused to go to school? Not you, that's for mother fucking sure. You weren't there when he tried to lock himself away from the world, you weren't there to see those bloody fucking cuts all over his arms."

My eyes widened in shock at that before I looked down, ceasing in my struggle for the time being. Ashamed that he now knew as well. What's worse, no emotions flashed across his face. He just took it.

"You were gone!" Hayner practically spat in my lover's face, "That's where in the hell you were. With God only knows who while Sora was literally falling apart. Someone you supposedly love!"

Hayner ended his rant by throwing a fist in Axel face. But, as I thought, Axel ducked, causing Hayner to come this close to hitting the wall. Axel then retaliated by shoving Hayner back, hard. "Don't you dare talk to me like that." Axel's voice was low like it was usually when he was mad. "I can leave and come back as much as I want. I do love Sora, and that's enough. I care about him, so don't even start with me.

"It doesn't matter who I was with, but that I'm back and with Sora, and now I'm taking care of him."

"Oh, you fucking prick!" Hayner threw another punch at my so-called boyfriend. This time it hit Axel's cheek, already leaving a large red mark to mar his pale face. Now this time, Axel returned the punch with one of his own, visibly putting all his strength behind it. I started to struggle against my brother, knowing that if we didn't stop this, someone would get hurt, whether it be Axel or Hayner, maybe even both.

"They can both handle themselves." Roxas whispered urgently in my ear, straining to hold me against him. I defiantly shook my head, desperate not to let Axel be the one mortally wounded – even though I knew that wasn't possible. "Sora, stop moving. You're hurting me." His voice was just as urgent as four seconds ago, this time it was laced with pain.

I did as he told me, holding still and sighed in relief as his arms loosened around me, trusting that I wouldn't leave. I continued to watch the fight with interest. I wanted Axel to win, but not at the expense of hurting Hayner. I wanted Hayner to beat the shit out of Axel for being such a jerk, but I didn't want to see him defeated. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation…

Axel and Hayner were on the floor, struggling to dominate over the other, physically putting all into it as they hit and kicked at each other, hoping to do some damage. I just stood there, feeling tears start to go down my cheeks. I couldn't stand to just sit there, watching them fight and yell at each other, I had this urge to do something.

When they got up from the ground when Hayner kicked Axel from on top of him, I stepped out from Roxas' loose grasp and walked back into the living room. Hayner just stood looking at him expectantly and then nodded in my direction, causing Axel to turn. Axel looked at me and his eyes widened. "Sora…"

I shook my head, letting my tears fall freely from my face as I looked blurrily at Axel. I started to make hand motions. And I walked away.

"Wait, Sora, what does that mean?" I continued to walk away, and I barely heard Roxas tell him what it meant. 'I hate you.'

xxxxXxxxx

I was up in my bed, crying like no tomorrow. Roxas was laying next to me, holding me in his arms while Hayner was hanging out in my brother's room playing his guitar since I refused to let him near me. I know he was just trying to do well, but I really didn't want to know what Axel had said. I thought I was better off knowing that I was the only one he's been with.

"Sor-Sor, sweetie, come on, don't cry, he's not worth it." I shook my head, sitting up, and pushing away from him. I started to motion in sign language, glad that Roxas knew it. 'Don't say that, please. He has to be worth it. He has to be…' "Sora, you heard him, he was with someone else, did things. He had no right to talk about you like that, he doesn't deserve you if he does." I started to cry harder, causing Roxas to again gather me in his arms.

Roxas laid us down, me still in his arms. I cuddled up to his chest, my head under his chin, laying like I would with Axel. I thought that the thought of it would cause me to cry even more, but instead it gave me comfort, making me feel like it was him that I was laying with, and not Roxas. The only difference was that Roxas' body was cold, just like mine.

I guess I fell asleep again, because I no longer felt the comfort of lying next to someone. It was dark, cold, and lonely. I just wanted to huddle in a corner and hide, but that was physically impossible seeing as there were no corners it was just a room of black, I couldn't tell anything from anything else. I wasn't dreaming, but it felt like I was. My eyes were opening and closing, trying to make out any type of light, but all of that eluded me.

I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and blindly stood up. I looked more closely to where my door should be. Under it light spilled in, helping me to walk to it. I felt for the door handle, finally finding it and turning it. I was slightly blinded by the bright light, but once my eyes finally adjusted, I was able to walk out into the hallway, stumbling, but walking with enough composure to get me down the stairs.

"…away. I don't think Sora should ever see Axel again." I cocked my head to the side in confusion, what was Roxas saying?

"Roxy, honey, we can't tell your brother what he can do. If he wants to continue to see Axel, it's up to him. But if what you interpreted was correct, I don't think he ever wants to see him, or even hear about him again. So calm down, wait for him to wake up, and then we can all talk about it."

I heard my brother sigh loudly, and then slam something against the counter. I heard his footsteps start in my direction, but I didn't even try hiding, if he caught me, so what. When he turned the corner he ran into me, causing me to almost fall, but caught me. "Sora…I thought you were sleeping." I shook my head and walked around him, going to the kitchen to get my cell that I left there before. I looked at the screen and started pressing buttons. I then held down the power button and waited impatiently as it turned back on.

I looked to my mother accusingly when I saw that there were many unanswered texts and voicemails. "Sorry, dear. He wouldn't stop calling, even after we told him not to…"

I glared at her then started up the stairs to my bedroom, completely ignoring the calls and demands that I get back downstairs.

Walking to my room, I had to pass Roxas', and as I did, I heard him talking to Hayner through the door. "…what to do. Hayner, please, can we just go find Riku and kill him, or at least kick his ass…I know, but I don't like seeing Sora all detached, he's trying to act normal, but I know him better than that, I can see it in his eyes. And you were there when he was sleeping, he was dreaming about it." Stupid Hayner. "Please…then come over and help me calm down, wink, wink. Nudge, nudge." I gagged and then walked into my room, slamming my door for some unknown reason.

I walked to my radio and turned on my mix CD. I went to track four and let 'Stay With Me' by Danity Kane play loudly, pressing repeat. I walked back to the door and locked it, checking it twice before going to my bed. I laid back on it and started to think of last night.

How could someone do that to someone, especially someone as vulnerable and gullible as me? I trusted him so much, maybe too much, but I had to. I needed someone after Axel left, and I couldn't run to my brother for everything. Roxas was too busy with Hayner (in more ways than one.)

Riku was so sweet in the beginning, all the way up until the end. I should've known that when he took me that far out that it wasn't good. It could've been good though. Maybe if he wasn't so forceful, I would've willingly given myself to him.

I know that sounds horrible, but it's kind of true, I put all my trust in that he wouldn't hurt me, and if he kept it that way, he would've gotten what he wanted. But I guess, willingly or not, he got his way.

I still felt the burn in my backside and still felt the way he thrust into me. I started to cry and curled up into a ball, digging my nails into my skin, for some release. I needed something to make me feel better, but after that whole fight with Roxas and Hayner when they found out...

But screw them, they won't know.

I reached under the mattress and pulled out a rusty razor blade.

Axel knew about this, but he didn't care. I flipped it over in my palm, debating whether I should really be going through with this. Roxas and Hayner would be disappointed, but it was the only way to make me feel better…right?

I sat crossed legged and pulled up the bottom of my jogging pants. I looked at my exposed clean, uncut ankle. I felt more tears trail down my cheeks as I pressed the blade against my tanned skin.

It cut.

I wanted to scream out loud at the pain, good thing I was a mute, right?

The blood started oozing out, dripping onto my black sheets, leaving little blotchy places in its wake.

I lifted the blade after about an inch and a half of cutting and brought it down a couple centimeters from the first cut.

It cut, again.

My skin was too sensitive for it not to. Tears poured down my cheeks as I lifted up the blade again and started to bring it down a third time. Once for every person who left me.

But, just as I was about to cut a third time, I heard a loud knock on my door. I jumped and then hurried to pull my pant leg down and put the blade under the mattress once again. I walked hurriedly to my stereo and pressed pause. Then to the door and opened it.

Roxas was standing there with a phone held out. I looked confusedly at him, wiping my tears, which were so obviously there, away. He looked at me with a question lingering on his lips, but not falling as I took the phone and shut the door in his face. I breathed heavily to signal whoever it was (I had a feeling it was Axel) that I picked up the phone.

"Sora!? Now, don't hang up, please. I know you are mad," I made a scoff-like breath noise. "Okay, pissed would be a more appropriate word. Now, just hear me out." I sighed again, to let him know that I would listen. "I love y-" Okay, I wouldn't listen.

I threw the phone against the wall, hoping it would shatter into a billion of pieces. It didn't, it shattered into three. The back, the main part and the battery. Dammit.

xxxxXxxxx

I was back at school, feeling better physically – other than the cuts that started showing up on my body. And other than that, I was damaged goods. At school, everyone stared at me, laughed and pointed. I gathered that Riku told everyone what happened. But, what exactly did he tell them?

But, fortunately, Hayner silenced everyone by just a glare. That – even though I was mad at him – I was grateful for. Roxas just pulled me along, trying desperately to get me out of the halls and into class quickly.

Lunch came and for that I was glad for. I was able to run from everyone and hide. I walked to the tree that held so many memories (dreamy sigh. Just kidding) and sat down.

I looked down at my lap to where my hands were twisting into each other. I faintly heard Riku not far from where I sat, walking to the tree about fifteen feet away from mine with a couple of friends.

"So, then he was just begging. Begging! To be fucked harder. I was like, 'it would tear you' but he was like 'I like it, Ri-Ri, I like it.'" His friends bust up in laughter, I looked away and felt my eyes start to water. So that's what he was telling people…

"So, you're telling me, a mute, said that?" One of his friends asked, crossing his arms, expecting an answer.

"Well, he mouthed it. He was mouthing a lot of things while I was fucking him, you know what I mean?" The one that had asked the question nodded then started to laugh with the others. "But, god, let me tell you, was he tight!" And the others laughed even more.

I felt more tears cascade down my face as I buried it in my knees that were curled up to my chest.

"Hey, Ri, isn't that the mute over there?"

I froze.

"Oh, Seif, you're right. Let's go see how he's doing, if you know what I mean." The guys laughed a little more before I heard them start to walk over to me. And, me, being stupid, had to sit all the way out here, where no one could hear or see us. "Hey, Angel, how are you doing? Up for another round yet?" I shook my head and tried to curl into myself even more.

"I think he's just shy 'cause we're all here." A junior, Raijin, suggested.

"That might've been the reason, if I didn't know better. The other night he was just so willing to drop his pants. He had to persuade me." I looked up at them and I swear I got a sympathetic look from Seifer. "Oh, Sora, Angel, don't cry, I can make you feel better." And he winked, placing his hand on my knee, causing me to flinch away from him. It started to trail downwards towards my crotch.

"Riku." Riku's hand stopped in its movement and he looked to the boy who spoke, which happened to be Seifer. "Why don't we leave him alone? He looks real upset." I furrowed my eyebrows together, wondering why Seifer was caring.

"Eh, you're right. I'll just go find another virgin to fuck." I gaped at him and started to cry even more, sobs racking my body.

Riku and his friends left, all but for Seifer, who bent down to my level and placed his hand on my knee much like Riku did. And I couldn't help but flinch again. "Sorry," He said, removing his hand from my leg. "What Riku said wasn't true, was it?" I looked up to him and shook my head. "I thought so. I didn't think you would do something like that. It just didn't seem like you, but then again I don't know you…at all."

I continued to look at him with confusion written all over my face. Why was he helping me? Like he said, he doesn't know me, and I don't know him. "You're a good friend of Hayner's aren't you?" I nodded. "He's a great guy…" He said all dreamy-like. What the hell? "Sorry, he's my ex. But he's going out with your brother now, huh?" I nodded again, what the hell? Is this like twenty questions or something?

"Sora!" Seifer and I both turned our heads to where we saw my brother and his boyfriend holding hands while running towards us. Hayner let go of Roxas' hand and started towards Seifer who started to back up away from me, hands up in a surrendering type position.

"What'd you do to him?" Hayner growled in my defense. "Why's he crying?"

"That wasn't my fault. That was all Riku, I swear!"

"Sora, is that true?" Roxas asked me in the sweet voice that he'd been talking to me with since that night I got back with Axel. I nodded and then stood up, getting help from Roxas who still seemed to think I was a fragile piece of art.

"See…I was just making sure he was okay. So, I think you owe me an apology, Chicken Wuss."

"Fuck no. I'll give you an apology when you give me one for cheating on me!" Hayner retorted.

"Hey! I've said 'I'm Sorry' enough. 'S not my fault if you don't believe me." And with that, he walked off.

Hayner walked over to me and started to pet my cheek before he cupped it. I was surprised when I didn't flinch from the touch, I never did when it was Roxas or him. For some reason I knew that they would never hurt me, it was like something that was engraved into my brain, my heart, and my whole system. His touch gave me a friendly feeling, one that I have been craving for a while.

Sighing, I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. The comfort that radiated from the touch made me feel loved, even if only platonically.

"I'll walk you two to class, 'kay?" Hayner offered, removing his hand from my face to take Roxas'.

"'Course, babe." Roxas smiled at his boyfriend, and received one in return. They way they looked at each other, made me so jealous. The way they were connected and so close to each other, made me wish that I still had that with Axel…