Title: I Still Love You, Got it Memorized?
Author: Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)
Disclaimer: Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?
Pairings: Axel/Sora
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it.

Summary: They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more?

Author's Note: So, like yeah. I don't have anything much to say. In this story, it's October, for any reason? No. Just because I felt like it being October. : ]

xxx

Another week and no word from Axel…this time I didn't want to hear from him. He hurt me, worse than he did when he left and I didn't even want to think about him. However, it was hard not to. He was just so much to me and such an influence in my life, now that he was gone…

Roxas and Hayner were starting to act normal around me, although they were never lovey dovey around me for some reason. Maybe it was because they thought that it would depress me because I had no one to be all lovey dovey with anymore.

I was sitting by Starbucks, sipping on my strawberries and crème frapichino. Roxas and Hayner were walking around the mall, doing some early Christmas shopping. It was only October. I didn't feel like walking around the mall with them, seeing as how I always complained and my feet got sore.

I was looking around the food court at random people. No one was really interesting to catch my attention for more than a total of three seconds. When I looked to one table, I noticed a guy, with another guy (I know, descriptive right?) sitting together. Both had bright red hair, but styled in different way.

One had his head down while the other ran his hand soothingly over his back. The one with his head down had his hair spiked up in a really tall hairstyle; the other one had his pulled back in a ponytail with goggles near the front of his head. The first one was Axel, and I'm taking the second one was his brother, Reno.

I don't know what they were talking about, but Axel looked really depressed about something. Good. He should be depressed. It's all his fault anyways.

I saw Axel's brother glance over here for a short amount of time before turning and saying something to Axel that caused him to turn in my direction. Our eyes locked and emotions soared while we stared at each other.

However, someone stepped in my line of vision.

"Hey, there Angel." I looked up and cringed, sitting back and wrapped my arms around myself. "Miss me yet?" I ignored Riku's words and noticed that he was alone. "Aw, come on, say something. I know you've been dying to get back into bed with me." His hand went to touch my face but not before a pale hand reached out and grabbed it.

"Yo, leave Sora alone." The voice that spoke was a little rough and deeper than my ex-boyfriends, but still held that protective tone.

"And who the fuck are you to tell me what to-?" Riku turned and froze. "Reno…" He breathed fearfully.

"Yeah, it's me, yo! And I'd like to talk to you. Outside, now if you don't mind. So leave Sor alone and come with me." And he walked away, leaving no time for Riku to reply.

"You heard my brother. Now go before…" Axel paused to think of something, but before he could, Riku walked away hurriedly following Reno.

I stood and started to walk away, leaving my frappichino unattended. "Wait! Sora, come back!" I shook my head and then started to walk aimlessly around the mall looking for my brother and his boyfriend.

But, unfortunately, God hated me, and let Axel follow me around, apologizing to me nonstop. "Sora, please, just give me five minutes to explain myself." I shook my head and continued to walk through the mall, searching all the stores for my brother and Hayner. I went over the whole mall in record time, looking in each store on the top and bottom floor, but they were nowhere.

It was near Dillard's when I got Axel to shut up by slapping him across the face for accidentally insulting Roxas. "I didn't mean it like that…" He muttered and shut up, but didn't stop following me.

I eventually found them in Hot Topic, looking at some CDs.

I walked up to them and tugged on Roxas' shirt to get his attention. He turned to me and smiled, "Hey, we were about to come and get y-" He paused when his eyes drifted over my shoulder and met Axel's. "Why in the fucking hell is he here?" Roxas questioned me.

I made a few hand motions to speak to my brother before pausing and glaring over my shoulder's at the redhead, and then continued. He found me in the food court and then started to follow me around, apologizing like a lunatic.

"Axel." Hayner said, looking away from me. "I told you, if you bothered Sora one more time, that I'd really kick your ass."

"I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend, is that such a crime?" I rolled my eyes, and I really wished that I had the ability to tell Axel how I really felt.

"Nu-uh. Ex-boyfriend you mean. You and Sora are over." Hayner corrected, stepping forward to stand in-between Axel and me.

"No…" Axel said stubbornly, shaking his head with horrified eyes. "Sora…please, we're not really over, are we?"

"Don't answer Sora. He has no right talking to you after what he did. I say I kick his ass and leave it at that, you agree with me Rox?" Hayner asked, stepping towards a backtracking redhead.

I desperately wanted to shake my head and tell him it wasn't over. The look in his eyes, made me feel so horrible, like I was the one who did something wrong. But I knew it was over. He did something unforgivable, whatever it was, and then planned to never tell me. I didn't try to stop them this time when they started fighting. Roxas didn't hold me back, and I wasn't worried about Axel's well-being. I just hoped that Hayner would beat him up so much; his own brother wouldn't recognize him, no matter how cruel that sounded.

The fight was stopped by a security guard and Reno, both pulling apart the bruised teens. Roxas went to Hayner, helping in holding him back. Axel's brother pushed him out of the store, and then walked over to me, ignoring the glares from my brother and Hayner.

"Sora, if you ever need to talk, without having to worry about Axel," He said, pulling out a paper and pen, writing something down. "Just text me. Here's my cell. Whenever you want to talk, I always have my cell on me and charged. 'Kay?" I nodded, accepting the paper from Reno without any negative emotions. I mean, it wasn't Reno's fault; it wasn't like he told Axel to cheat on me. "Bye, hun." He said and walked away, pushing Axel out, following the security guards one-way, while the others took us out through a different exit.

"Great, now how are we supposed to finish shopping?!" Hayner said as we were left outside. Apparently, fights in the mall are not allowed, so they kicked us out.

"Baby, we'll finish another day, let's just get Sora home. His feet probably hurt from trying to find us," my brother smirked at me. I sheepishly nodded my head.

xxx

'Hey, reno, its sor. Can you talk?' I ended up texting him the next day. Hayner and Roxas went to finish their shopping, and I didn't feel like possibly repeating yesterday's actions. Reno replied right away. 'yeah, you wanna meet sumwher???' Well, I guess there was no problem with me meeting him in person, I mean, as long as Axel isn't there. So I told him, 'As long as this isnt a trick to get me to talk to axel...'

It took Reno a while to reply back, but it wasn't that I actually cared, as long as I didn't have to talk to Axel or see him. I was in the middle of reading a very interesting part in my book when Reno text back. 'yah, of corse. Meet me at the mal?' I replied back saying yes.

I went downstairs to see my mom, grabbing a notebook on the way, starting to write while I walked. When I got to the kitchen, I showed her the paper and then kissed her good-bye.

"Wait, who's this friend?" She asked suspiciously, still cautious of me leaving the house especially alone.

'Axel's brother. don't worry, he wouldn't hurt me.' And I turned and left, pocketing my cell phone.

It didn't take me long to walk to the mall, well it probably did, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was just randomly thinking of randomly horrible parts of my life. I don't know why, but I just was. When I got to the mall I text him to tell him I was there, and he told me to meet him in the food court.

I saw a guy with red hair pulled back sitting near the edge of the food court; I walked towards him and tapped him on the back to get his attention. He turned and…wow. If I hadn't met Axel first…wait, did I just say that? I guess I did.

"Yo, Sor, you wanted to talk?" I nodded and sat when he pulled the chair out for me. "I know sign language so go ahead." I tilted my head to the side in a type of question. "One of my best friends had an accident and became deaf, so a couple of us took a class so we could talk to him properly." I smiled. Wow, being sweet must run in the family.

I started signing to him right away. He interrupted rarely, only when I asked a question or something along those lines. He let me vent, say anything I wanted to and be expressive, as I wanted.

When I was done, I sighed and placed my hands on my lap, signaling that I had nothing else to say. "You done?" I nodded sheepishly, kind of ashamed that I said so much. "Okay, I have one question. Do you want to get back with my brother?" I didn't answer, I mean how could I. I wanted to on one hand, but on the other,…I really didn't. I was angry with him, and yet I just wanted him to hold me like he used to. "You don't have to answer now, I just want you to think about it."

Roxas and Hayner wouldn't agree, if I wanted to get back with him.

"Does it matter what they think?" I thought on that very little. It didn't matter what they wanted, but I didn't want to hurt them. I expressed that to Reno. "But if you were happy if you got back with my idiotic poor excuse for a human being of a brother, then wouldn't they be happy?" I shrugged , not really thinking on the question much.

"So." Reno clapped his hands together and stood. "Wanna go for a walk?" I shrugged once more, standing up and taking Reno's offered hand. His skin was so warm, so comforting.

We walked to the park that was halfway from the mall to my house. There was a gimungo tree in the middle of it, which was why the park was named Great Oak Park. I'm not sure if it's really an oak tree though…anyways. Reno released my hand and headed straight towards it, jumping up to grab the second lowest branch and pull himself up.

"Come on. Get up here." I shook my head and planted my feet into the ground. "You scared?" I nodded sheepishly. "Want me to help you?" I still shook my head. "Well, you're getting up here either way." He jumped down with ease that reminded me so much of Axel and took my hand in his once more, dragging me to the tree. "Start climbing."

Reno's hands were on my hips and he was giving me slight lift while I placed my feet in small indents in the tree. I started to climb, reaching for the first branch and pulling myself on it. Reno's hands then moved to my feet to keep me balanced while I reached for a higher one to pull myself up. I used all my strength to do so. I sat on the high branch and watched Reno climb up easily. He climbed up to my branch, and was about to climb up to another, but I pulled on his pant leg, causing him to stop and look down, carefully sitting next to me.

"Haven't you and Axel come to this park before?" I nodded. "Axel and I use to climb this tree all the time when I lived here. And he never did with you?" I shook my head.

He knew I hate heights. He actually asked if I wanted to once, but I said no and he never tried again.

"How nice of him." That was the last thing said for a while between us. "He really does love you, y'know." I sighed.

But he cheated on me.

"Wait, what?!" Reno all but shouted. "He did what?!" I nodded my head.

Yeah, he said he did to Hayner – my brother's boyfriend.

"Oh, oh." He said, prolonging the second 'oh'. "Well, yeah, he kinda did." I furrowed my eyes together, wanting him to elaborate. "You'll have to ask him. I won't say anything more." I huffed and crossed my arms, pouting and caused Reno to chuckle at my obvious cuteness, much like Axel…

I watched the sky and saw that it was starting to get darker. Part of the sky turned different colors, partly pink and red and orange. The way it was mixed and the few clouds that were scattered made it look like a painting, made it look unreal. It didn't take long for the sun to completely set, leaving Reno and me in almost complete darkness. Because it got dark slowly, our eyes already were adjusted to the lack of light.

"When do you have to be home?" He asked, checking his watch. I held up eight fingers. "Okay, that means we have about an hour before we have to get you home. Do you want to start walking now?" I shrugged, meaning that I didn't care. Reno jumped down and then turned, holding his arms out for me. "Jump, hun, I'll catch you." He said in a voice that so reminded me of Axel and caused me to shiver. I took a deep breath and jumped into Ax-Reno's arms. I meant Reno, not – definitely not – Axel.

He caught me with ease, setting me down and wrapping his arm around my waist, unknowingly making me feel safe and warm. "Do you want my jacket while we walk, it's gettin' kind of breezy." I shook my head but he gave it to me anyways, then replaced his arm on him waist.

When we turned down on my street, Roxas and Hayner were walking outside about to get in Hayner's Ferrari. We got there as they were about to step in. I clapped my hands to get their attention. They turned and looked at me, Roxas ran, pushing Reno away accidentally and took me into his arms.

"Where the hell were you?!" Roxas asked looking to Reno. "And why are you with him?" I turned and noticed that in the dark and not really being able to see his face, Reno looked a lot like Axel, seeing as how his red hair stood out in the night.

I shook my head against his chest, stepping forward to stop Hayner from punching Reno.

"Whoa, don't mistake me for my retarded brother. I'm Reno." He said, holding his hands up in a surrender kind of way.

"Oh, sorry," Hayner said a little apprehensively, still in his 'fighting stance'. Roxas walked over and took his hand, easily calming him down.

"Yeah, we met at the mall thought I'd walk him home 'cause it was dark," Reno said.

"Thank you..." Roxas paused, waiting for Axel's brother to give him his name.

"Reno, and no problem. Now I got to get back to the hotel and kick my brother's ass for no good reason." Hayner smirked and I knew he was secretly wishing that he could kick Axel's ass instead. "See ya later, Sor. Text me if you need anything else."

I nodded and watched him walk away.

xxx

Reno was hanging out with Roxas, Hayner, and me. He wanted to spend more time to get to know me before he went back home. And everyday he spent with me, he would go back to the hotel with Axel, but not before telling us that he would kick his butt. I always wondered if he had really beaten up Axel for hurting me. Also, he said that if I was a few years older and not hopelessly in love with his brother, then he would be able to love me properly.

And yes, I mean like a lover.

And yes, I believed him.

"Hey, Sor, wanna come for a walk with me, I'm getting kind of bored." I shrugged and looked to my brother, silently asking if he minded. He shook his head and curled up into Hayner. "Come on." Reno stood and took my hand, gently pulling me along with him.

We started walking in a random direction, or at least it was for me, Reno seemed to know where we were going. I tugged and his hand to get him to turn to me, signing to him what was on my mind.

"I just wanted to take you somewhere." I nodded and let him pull me nicely along.

We kept on walking until we got to a cheap hotel, and to a room that had 118 on the door. I looked to him questioningly, but he just looked at me with a small smile on his face. He opened the door and shoved me inside, slamming the door after me. I tried to open the door with the handle but he was holding it closed. Then I started to pound on the wood, wanting him to open up, let me out, he was starting to scare me.

I heard a door open from behind me and I slowly turned around.

"Sora...?" Axel asked, looking at me with a shocked expression. I looked over him and noticed he was only in a towel, his upper body gleaming with water. "What are you doing here?" He asked, still holding his towel with one hand to keep it up.

I sighed heavily and lifted my foot behind me to give the door a loud and hard kick.

He stepped forward to me, but caught himself in the process. Staying where he was, he rubbed the back of neck nervously which was still covered with slightly damped hair. I walked over to one of the twin-sized beds and sat down, secretly hoping that this was Reno's.

Axel stayed where he was, not moving, not talking, not moving his eyes from mine.

I took my time to look over his body, realizing that he was covered in many different colored bruises, around his chest, stomach and legs. His arms were covered too, but stopped when they reached the forearms, his neck and face were left unmarred by any discoloration. I stood up and couldn't help myself from walking forward towards him and reached my hand to trace one of the larger yellow-ish bruises.

His face contorted into a slight grimace and a hiss of pain. I went to move my hand away, but it was caught by a pale one that replaced it back on the largest bruise with another hiss of pain.

I carefully ran my fingers over the discolored skin. His skin grew goose bumps and he shivered visibly as I continued to run my fingers over the bruise. His hand then returned to mine and laid over it. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes were on mine, gazing into them desperately, longingly, wantonly. I shifted my eyes away and was surprised when Axel pulled me to him, fully embracing me in a hug while letting out a gasp of pain at the pressure on the bruises.

I didn't pull back, but I didn't return the hug. I stood there, pressed against his dampened body. I didn't think about how much I missed this, how much I wished his arms were around me, warming me up to an incredible temperature. I sighed once more and eventually wrapped my arms around his middle, feeling him tighten his grip on me.

Before I realized it, I was crying. Tears were streaming down my face, hitting Axel's skin. He pulled back form me a little, and tilted my chin up with one of his hands before leaning down and kissing my tears away before laying a gentle kiss on my lips.

His lips were barely even there, I felt a ghost like touch hovering near my lips right as I pressed up, kissing his lips forcefully, and trying desperately to get more. And he replied just as passionately. Our lips melded together liked they did before he left, like they did before any of this happened, like before I started to hate him. I felt his tongue touch my lips and I melted in his arms, I opened my mouth and practically fainted when his tongue entered.

His hands went to my hips, lifting my shirt and slowly rubbed the skin there. I pressed my arms against his shoulders, pushing him back until we landed against a wall. He flipped us around, so I was leaning against it and he was able to press himself to me.

I know I should have stopped him, I should have stopped myself, but it was too good. Too nice. It has been far too long since I had last kissed him like this, not holding back, not scared. And I loved every second of it. I don't know how long we kissed, I didn't really care either. But I did end up stopping him when he went to lift up my shirt.

"Sora…" He breathed out breathlessly – if that made sense. "I'm sorry. For everything. I don't know why I did the things I do, but please, you have to forgive me." I shook my head and gently pushed him away, going over to sit on one of the two beds. Axel sighed once, but didn't say anything else, instead he went to a bag and pulled out a pair of pants and boxers. "I'll go change in the bathroom, please wait for me." I nodded and watched him shut the door behind him.

Yes, I know, this is the part where I run, leave him without a word (figuratively) and go kill Reno for doing this to me. But something was keeping me here. I didn't know what, it might have been my subconscious telling me that no matter what either of us to do each other, the love will never go away.

So when he stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but pants, I stood and ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him again. He was surprised, but kissed me back nonetheless. I pulled away again and stepped out of Axel's arm, kind of regretting that I kissed him again.

"Sora…" Dude, how many times was he going to say my name? Either way, I shook my head and backed up, going to the opposite side of the small hotel room.

I looked at the ground for a couple of minutes, still trying to contemplate how I felt. I mean, yeah, I still love Axel. Yeah, I wanted to be with him, but could I trust him enough to not do anything like before? Would he leave me again? I didn't know, and I don't think that I'd find out…

So, for now, I don't want to get back with Axel. Maybe later, maybe when he can prove himself.

I looked back up to him, and mouthed quite clearly. 'I still love you.'

"And I still love you."

'But I can't be with you.'

"Why not?" He stepped forward and I stepped back. "Please, give me another chance." I shook my head. "Then let me prove myself, let me show you that I won't hurt you again." I turned around and went to the door. I pulled down the handle and realized that Reno wasn't holding it anymore, he was standing a couple feet away, leaning on the pole thing that held up the second floor.

"Sora, wait, give me another chance," Axel called when I stepped outside. I stood in front of Reno, slapped him in the arm, and then started signing to him. What should I do?

He spoke back in the same manner, telling me that I didn't have to, but I should at least let Axel prove that he's worth it and everything that I've been through. I nodded then walked behind him, letting him speak to his brother.

"Well…?" Axel asked. I could tell he wanted another chance, that he wanted to be with me, and frankly, I felt the same way…

"He says you have to prove that you're worthy of another chance. But I swear, Axel, if you hurt him, I will kick your ass so bad, that it make the beatings I've given you the past week seem like heaven. You 'got that memorized', Axel?" He nodded and then looked over Reno's shoulder to look at me. I smiled sheepishly at him and he grinned fully at me. "And you better go the whole nine yards, wooing him and all." Axel nodded curtly, looking back at his older brother. "'Kay, Sor, let's go."

Reno held out his hand. I reached for it, but not before running over to Axel and kissing him chastely on the lips. When I walked back to Reno, I knew Axel was behind me with his eyes closed, trying to remember that moment. It was obvious. Reno shook his head and took my hand, walking me back home. But every few seconds or minutes, I would look back at Axel, making sure he was still there.

I don't know why, but it helped me confirm what really happened.

I just wanted to know if Axel would stay true to his word and stay faithful…