JJ slowly hands the pad over to Garcia. The technical analyst for a moment considers not reading it but then knows she can't let JJ have this pain all alone. She flips back to the first page and begins to read.
Hi guys,
It's become apparent to me that things may not end in my favor. I figured I needed to get a few things down on paper to make sure things are taken care of after, well, this. The first thing I want all of you to know is that I have no doubt you did everything in your power to find Laura Delpy and get me out of this situation. You are the best team the FBI has ever seen and the best group of people I have ever had the honor of knowing and working with. You truly are my family. I love you all.
Aaron Hotchner: I don't think I have ever been more intimidated by anyone in my life. To this day I can see the look on your face as you told me it was a mistake that I was on your team. Of course, I can also see the look when I showed you I knew what the hell I was doing as a profiler. That look still makes me smile. But regardless of how I got here, you gave me a chance. And when I tried to quit, you fought to keep me. Thank you for that. You are also a great father. Jack is lucky to have you, Hotch. Just so you know, there is a college account set up in his name at the credit union. Stop rolling your eyes. It was my pleasure.
Derek Morgan: You are the brother I never had and always wanted. Whether talking about girls or busting down doors together I treasured every minute with you. You had no reason to trust me the first time we went in a building but you did. I saw it in your eyes. I was terrified of letting you down until I looked at your face. I would follow you into any situation, Derek. You are the rock of this team and they are lucky to have you. In my condo I have a complete collection of Vonnegut first editions. They are yours, my friend. Enjoy them as I have.
Spencer Reid: You have never failed to make me smile. Whether spouting statistics that no human should know or performing your "science magic" you are one of the most dynamic people I have ever met. It was good to not be the only nerd in the room. :o) That you were able to overcome your "little problem" and come out stronger on the other side shows your heart is as strong as your brain. I am so proud of you for that, Reid. I want you to have all my books written in other languages. Only you would be able to read them but I also know you'd appreciate them. Also, my collection of Dr Who, Star Wars and Star Trek dvds. Please just don't tell anyone I had those. ;o)
David Rossi: founder, confidant, mentor, friend. I like that last one the best. You were able to get me to tell you things I had never told anyone. I couldn't have done that if I hadn't trusted you implicitly. As upset as I was, you got through to me and helped me save my friend. I can never thank you enough for that. I want to leave you something I know an Italian gourmet will appreciate: my wine collection. Un brindisi a una lunga vita, il mio amico.*
Penelope Garcia: Oh queen of everything where do I even start? You never failed to brighten my day. You may not have been out in the field with us physically but knowing you had our backs from your Office of Supreme Knowledge always gave me a sense of comfort. If there was anything we needed to know and it was stuck in some database somewhere you found it. I hope you know how many times that saved our lives, Penelope. And I know you've been able to tap into the security feeds during this situation. It's given me a lot of comfort to know I'm not in here alone. Pen, I want you to have the art in my condo. It's beauty may pale in comparison to yours but I hope you will appreciate it all the same.
Will LaMontagne: you are probably shocked to find yourself in this letter but I want to thank you for making a hard situation easier. You are a good man and I am sorry for you and Henry that things did not work out for you and JJ. I hope you know I would have given my life to protect Henry and I would never have tried to replace you as a father figure. Thank you for allowing me into his life. I know cops and agents don't make a lot of money so I hope you will not be offended by something I have done but hadn't had a chance to tell you about. I've established an account to be used to allow you to afford to come back to see Henry whenever you want. And it can be used when Henry goes to visit you in New Orleans so he never forgets his roots. JJ can help you with getting in touch with the credit union to access the account. Please don't turn this down. I do it for Henry as well as you.
Henry LaMontagne: I never thought I would have the blessing of a child. I know you are not blood to me but I could not love you more if you were. I wish I could be around to help you grow into the man I know you will be. In the days to come your Mom is going to be pretty sad. Get her happy for me, Champ. I love you, Henry, so very much. Your college fund is set. Make me proud. And, please, if you don't go to Yale, just don't go to Harvard.
And last but certainly not least…Jennifer Jareau: I love you, Jennifer. I hope I told you that and showed you that enough. I could see in your eyes the guilt that I was the one in this office instead of you. I'm glad of the way things worked out. Henry needs you more than he needs me. I have loved you almost from the first time I saw you. The more I got to know you, the more I saw how much there was to love. You are beautiful, smart, caring, brave. You are the glue holding this team together. I've seen you stare down unsubs and press and envied your ability to reign in your emotions one moment while letting them flow the next. I wish that was a skill I had learned instead of my "damn compartmentalizing" as you called it. I know I wasn't the easiest person to get to open up but I hope you know that everything I've felt and told you have been the truth. I have never opened myself up to anyone the way I have to you. You are the only woman I have ever loved fully and completely and I am so sorry that we won't be growing old together. In the top drawer of my dresser is a small velvet box. I had planned on giving that to you the weekend Will comes up to see Henry. I had a really nice evening planned out. I am so sorry I waited. Suddenly the "perfect" weekend seems like a ridiculous thing to have been waiting for. Any day, night, weekend, moment with you is perfect. I should have proposed to you the first night we kissed. My love for you has only grown since that glorious evening. Jennifer, you are the best thing that ever happened in my life and I cherish every moment spent with you. I leave you my heart, Jennifer. You're the only woman I've ever offered it to and the only woman whose heart I wanted in return. Te amo, Jennifer.
So, I think that's about it. You guys take care of each other or I'll come back to haunt you. And, Reid, no spouting off stats about whether I could actually do that or not. I can. I'm an agent of the FBI, after all and we can do anything. :o)
I love you all,
Emily
Garcia wipes the tears from her cheeks and wraps an arm around JJ's shoulders. "Damn, Emily, for this," she chokes out.
JJ manages a weak grin. "Yeah. How dare she think we weren't going to save her ass."
The two sit in silence a moment. Garcia hands the pad back to JJ. "You should probably give her this. She wouldn't want anyone else to see it."
"Yeah." JJ stares at it a moment, then looks at Garcia. "She wants to marry me, Pen."
Garcia smiles. "Does that surprise you?"
"No. What surprises me is…I actually want to marry her."
Garcia stares at JJ a moment then shakes her head. "Okay, you lost me there, Cupcake."
JJ laughs. "Pen, I always swore I'd never get married. That nothing anyone could ever say would make me want to get married. Heck, I could almost be Reid-like and spout you off failed marriage stats. But Emily makes me believe that marriage can work. Is that crazy?"
"No, Sweet JJ, that is love. Now, let's get these files out so you can get home to your stud muffin."
JJ smiles and stand. They finally finish getting everything set up and the new office "JJ-ed" just after 3 p.m. As they walk out to the parking lot together, JJ hits speed dial for Emily.
"Hello, love of my life," Emily answers.
"Hi. We're done here and I'm heading home."
"Great! Dinner should be just about ready by then and, if I'm really lucky, Henry won't have a poopy diaper until after you arrive."
"Gee thanks," JJ says with a grin. She starts to tell Emily about the goodbye note, then stops. Some things just need to be said in person. "Okay, well see you in about 45 minutes. I love you, Emily."
"I love you, too, Jen."
As they disconnect, JJ looks at Garcia. "How freaked would she be if I asked her to marry me first?"
Garcia slaps her on the shoulder. "Don't steal her thunder, Jayje. That's heaps bad karma."
The two separate at their cars and head home. JJ glances at herself in the rearview mirror. Her face doesn't show that she'd been crying. She sighs in relief knowing she did not want to cause Emily any more stress this weekend. She glances at the tablet sitting on the passenger seat. What was she going to do with this note? Part of her says hide it away and act like she never saw it. But a larger part of her knows she's going to have to show it to Emily eventually. Hopefully she'll know the right time to bring it up with her future wife. She smiles at that thought.
"Future wife," JJ mumbles. "I like that."
She puts the car in drive and heads for the two people in the world that make up her life.
*translation: Cheers to a long life, my friend. According to Babylon translator. My apologies if it's wrong. :o)