I don't own Vampire Knight. I'm so sorry for the huge wait.

Yes, Yuuki Cross was questioning herself. The recent development with Zero had led her to a lot of self-analysis. She felt something for Zero, at least sexually. But what about her feelings for Kaname?

Did she have any?

She wished she could read her heart with more clarity.

She didn't think she could do the things she did with Zero with Kaname. She didn't really see him as a sexual being. If she had any romantic feelings for him, they were quite pure. At least that's what she felt right now.

She even felt a bit dirty. She didn't know sex could be so animalistic. She had never thought the cold and stoic Zero could be so…she couldn't find the right word. Dirty? Passionate?

He said he loved her, but was it for real? Yuuki knew teenage boys sometimes said things they didn't really mean because of the lust they felt. Once Zero had calmed down, would he still want to be with her? Or would she find herself alone?

And more importantly, was lust the feeling that was clouding her judgment at this very instant?

She was still staring at the ceiling; her eyes were on the same spot the entire time. To the untrained eye, she was just resting, but someone who knew what it felt like to deal with a struggling heart and head could see what was happening behind those big brown eyes.

She decided it was time to go back to her room. She wanted to take a shower and clear her head a little. She needed to go back to some semblance of normalcy. She needed to think this through.

She put on her clothes and slipped out of Zero's room.

The hot water soothed her as she cleaned her body thoroughly. Maybe a bit too thoroughly. She was starting to wish nothing had happened. That way, she could have continued to see Zero as her adopted brother and fellow classmate and her feelings for Kaname would have still felt crystal clear. It was so much simpler this way.

She wanted to see Kaname. Maybe it would help her decide what she wanted to do. The sun would come down soon so she would go see him then as he was probably still sleeping. She knew she would have time to talk to him since she didn't have to patrol when school was cancelled.

After her shower she went down to the kitchen to see what her adoptive father was doing. As usual, he was making dinner with excessive cheerfulness. Sometimes it annoyed her but this time his enthusiastic humming comforted her a little.

"What are you making for dinner?" she asked

"Yuuki! I hadn't seen you there! I'm making soup and stew. Doesn't it smell great?"

"Yeah. It does."

She made her way to the Chairman's personal library and grabbed a book to occupy her mind. She felt it would be rude to show up at the Moon dormitory so early after the vampires woke up.

When Zero got out of the shower and found out she had left, he had been about to go find her, but he decided it was best for them to spend some time apart.

He had tried studying for a few minutes but wasn't able to concentrate and had then gone out to walk in the snow and reflect on his new relationship with Yuuki. God how he wished her feelings for him were as clear as his for her. He wanted her so badly. He wanted not only her body but also her heart. He felt butterflies with every kiss, every touch.

She was like a drug, so delicious and yet forbidden. He was dangerous to her. She didn't know he was a vampire and he didn't know how long he could stand to be so close to her without his secret being revealed. He didn't want to hurt her.

At dinner time he made his way to the kitchen and found Yuuki and the Chairman already seated. She didn't act any different than usual. She didn't even make eye contact. She probably regretted having sex with him.

They both ate in silence. Yuuki only opened her mouth towards the end to inform her father she would be paying Kaname a visit. After all, she said, she hadn't talked to him in a long time.

"I remember how you used to be so happy when he visited when you were little." Smiled Kaien

"Yeah, I remember it too" she replied

She then got up and left.

Zero felt his heart tighten painfully when she mentioned the pureblood vampire. She really didn't love him, she loved that cold person. Sex didn't mean anything to her. How could she lead him on like that? Was that the kind of woman she really was? Why was he always winning? What did that monster have that attracted her so much?

In a moment of rage he got up and followed her out.

He easily caught up with her.

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