heey! sorry for the delay! enjoy!

Lion and The Lamb

Chapter 11

it felt like I was falling endlessly without any stopping. I tried to reach out or yell for someone but my words never came out. I fell silently without anyone realizing.

Maybe it is my fault for being to independent. Everyone around me moved forward and I was still stuck in the past. Maybe it were the horrible things that made me unable to move forward.

Why couldn't anybody help me? Why wouldn't anybody help me?

Please… help me…SAVE ME!

The words my mom said are still imprinted in my memories. Those words that made me realize that I knew nothing at all about my own family.

"you met him didn't you"

"your brother?"

"don't hate him mikan, it was my fault he left… I was the reason he left"

I thought how silly, my mom blames herself for leaving but how true she was. It was truly her fault.

"I made him turn in something he was not… because I wanted him living at any cost"

"any cost, mikan"

Even if it meant that she wouldn't have to see him again. Well, he was alive technically. Just his heart wasn't beating, so can I call my mom selfish? Or should I feel sympathy.

"I didn't care if he would have to hide from us. I just wanted him having a normal life… He was so young"

If you could say by normal live that he had to repeat his high school years for the rest of his life… wait, that isn't normal at all. I am even feeling guilty. I lashed out on tsubasa when he didn't choose to turn in something…inhuman.

"you have to understand… he isn't like normal vampires. He doesn't drink human blood"

I should be happy right, that he would never drink MY blood but the words my mom used, he isn't like normal vampires… that's what scared me. There were more.

Who would.

"blame me, I don't care. I just wanted him to live"

I felt pity for my mom. I ain't a mom so I don't understand yet I didn't wanted to understand. So the next words I said to my mom shocked even me.

"so if I was about to die would you turn me into a inhuman thing too against my will?"

She didn't say anything at all so I just continued. "did you even ask tsubasa's permission? Did he even wanted to leave us especially ME behind? Did you consider anyone's feeling except your own?" still no word from her, which made me even more angrier.

"that guy back in assabu… his name is Shadow, not tsubasa. Please remember that and as far as I know my brother died 8 years ago when my mom sold his soul to a bunch of vampires" I couldn't stay calm at all.

Yes I know I sound unfair when I fancy natsume hyuuga, a vampire. He's the only vampire I will ever accept as a normal person.

I'm sounding really unfair right? I don't understand at all. I think I'm beginning to hate everything supernatural. Tsu- shadow lives with natsume right now. I'm guessing he knew yet he didn't mention anything.

See? I found a reason to be mad at natsume.

To be honest, I am a little happy that shadow is alive. I would've been happier if they told me from the beginning. I wouldn't have a problem against vampires at all then.

Yet they didn't… so you must understand my hatred.

So now I was standing outside inhaling the fresh air and tried to stop myself from trembling. The moment I left the room I didn't face shiki nor did I face shelly. I couldn't at all.

So me being the stupid me tried to take a stroll in a place which was known for its dangerous areas and you know what? I didn't care at all.

Live or death? What was the difference? Being alive was like being dead and being dead is not living at all?

Sheesh… when did I get philosophical? Oh shit, I'm getting old! *sigh* those days had to come people.

"walking all alone? Want me to accompany you?" why do strangers always talk to me? Is there a sign on my head saying 'please talk to me, I'm bored?'

"no thank you" walk away mikan, as fast as you can!

The guy didn't even gave me a chance to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and made me face his grinning face… he looked like he won a prize or something.

"don't be like that sweetheart, a girl like you shouldn't walk alone" a girl like me? A Disney-loving-chocolate-freak-who knows vampires? I think I'm safe, don't you?

"I will survive" I tried to rip my arm away from his grip, but I seemed to hurt ME more. Damn, why does this always happen to me?

"I said… let me walk you home" the guy was no longer grinned and looked dead-serious. I prefer his grinning idiotic face right now. Shit what shall I do… what shall I do?

"LET ME GO YOU PEANUT HEAD" I glared hatefully… I think I glared hatefully at him. He just smirked at me and pulled me with him. What is wrong with guys these days?

I tried to struggle and yell but it all ended up with him clasping my mouth with one hand and lifted me off the ground with the other. Wow, he is freaking strong.

FREAKING HELL! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME! GOD, PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE YET!

God must've heard me because the next thing I knew... the guy was ripped away from me. Which made me fall on the ground while my legs trembled. They seriously turned into pudding.

I don't know if I should be happy that natsume is here or freaking scared because his eyes were pitch black. He was growling madly with his back turned towards me and his face at the guy.

"n-natsume" his breathing slowed down a bit as he turned around. He crouched to reach my eyelevel and cupped my face with his gentle yet ice cold hands. His eyes softened towards me.

"did he hurt you?" all I could do was shook my head dumbly at his sudden kindness. Wow, I am seeing him in a all new light.

And suddenly with a snap his eyes turned pitch black again and he turned away from her towards the guy. "you fucking bastard" the stupid guy just smirked as with seconds other guys entered the scene. Do they have a freaking death wish?

I found the strength to stand up and pushed myself up against the wall. The dizziness was going to be my dead, man.

I had to stop natsume from killing those guys. If he would see blood… God knows what will happen. "natsume, come on. Let's go" I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him with me but he didn't budge of course. Why does he have to be all muscle?

"natsume, I'm freaking serious… let's go" the guys across us just smirked. Oh shit.

"yeah, pretty boy. Listen to the girl. Leave and let her hang with us" and he just had to take away the one percent chance there was of getting natsume away from them without spilling any blood.

"not helping" my muttering made them grin at me. Did they seriously think they could handle natsume? Natsume being a vampire with temper pried me off his arm and walked up to the guy who pulled me.

"shut the fuck up" his growling must scared them a little because they backed off… or were it his eyes? At least they listened.

or not.

A guy from the side tried to hit natsume but he just blocked it. Then another guy tried the same, hoping natsume was distracted by the first but natsume with his amazing speed blocked that one too.

The guy in the middle thought he saw this as an opportunity to kick natsume in the stomach which he did… just natsume didn't move a inch.

"what the hell?" was the only thing one of them could say. they were shocked. Everyone who didn't know his true nature would be shocked.

"get the hell out of here… before I kill anyone of you" his voice was so dark and cold. It made me even freeze. The guys ran away while yelling to get back and finish this off later. Pff, trying to save their pride, while they were gone I saw natsume standing on his place breathing heavily.

I gathered my courage and walked up to him, my legs trembling like hell. I wasn't scared or wait… maybe I was. "n-natsume?" I couldn't even say his name without stuttering. Gosh, what the hell is wrong with me? A while ago I was all like I don't care if natsume hyuuga is a vampire. I will still treat him normal.

I tried to stop my hand from shaking and gently caressed his upper right arm. I was hoping it comforted him. Yet it didn't.

He snatched his arm away and turned towards me with… anger? "what the hell is wrong with you?" me? There was nothing wrong with me right? Oh, he isn't talking about my chocolate problem right? Or maybe he just doesn't like Disney channel.

"how could you be so calm around those freaking guys!" Oh, so that's what's bothering him "I tried to fight you know".

His gripped both my arms and pulled me near him. I felt his hot breath in my face and I had to make sure I wouldn't fall on the ground from the dizziness. I looked up and felt like his eyes sucked me in.

"don't let guys come that close to you. It makes me want to rip them apart" he sounded demanding but I didn't mind because his words felt like he was protecting me, like he cared.

"don't do something that will cause you problems" my voice sounded so small and soft against his. He raised his eyebrow at me. Ho-oh, did I say something wrong?

"what are you talking about" really, his breath in my face isn't really helping me. I think I'm gonna faint. Why does he have this effect on me? I feel like I'm betraying my chocolates.

"I know, natsume" he let go of me immediately and stepped way back. I just had to open my big mouth. Way to go, mikan.

"then what are you doing here. Run" wow, I'm not even surprised anymore by the sudden coldness in his voice.

"because… I don't care at all" hearing it from my own mouth was different. Should I care if he was a vampire? He showed me many times that he didn't need my blood… I think.

"you're sure about that?" he walked up to me but this time, he looked at me with a smirk which I found sexy on one side but suspicious on the other side. He pushed his body against mine, making me tumble backwards against the wall.

"natsume, what are you doing?" I sounded completely calm, yet I was shaking inside my head. He was so darn sexy and made my whole body numb in excitement but still he scared me with those eyes looking at me… looking through me.

He put his both hands against the wall and looked down upon me. I tilted my head to meet his eyes even if I was a little scared, just a little though.

My hands were slightly trembling. I slowly put them against his chest and took a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure I don't care" his eyes turned even colder and he took a deep breath.

"then why is it such a big deal that shadow is a vampire" oh my freaking chocolate heaven. I completely forgot about that… damn, he just had to distract me.

"you knew?" I hoped he would say something like: no, I just heard it but life isn't a fairytale and especially not mine.

"yeah" I tried to push him away, which obviously didn't work. He is like a wall. Stupid walls that killed my brain cells… believe me, I won't forget. I will get my revenge.

"just because" he sighed deeply and took a few step backwards… awh, I was just getting used to the hot breath in my face. What could I say? I needed him? I really needed my brother back then, I just fucking needed him to be there for me dammit!

"I blame my mother for this" my voice was tiny yet I knew he heard me.

"do you have to stay mad at someone?" yes, I have fully right to stay mad. Plus, it would be easier to leave Miami if my mom was disappointed in me.

I stayed quiet and he hissed in frustration "what the fuck are you thinking?" like I will tell you, mister short temper.

"if pigs can fly" he kicked the wall in frustration and OH MY FUCKING GOD! THERE IS A HOLE IN THE WALL! "natsume, calm down" wow, I sounded too calm. It's starting to scare me.

He walked over to me and grabbed my wrist. He dragged me with him and we walked the whole way in silence. I was scared that he would leave me behind again or start acting cold again.

I really didn't want to go through that again "were are we going?" I managed to say while he remained silent. After god knows how long we walked he stopped in front of… my house?

I wanted to thank him in bringing me save home because even though he was acting super cold he still cared about my safety. I didn't got to say thank you, he disappeared in a flash.

the more I was with natsume the more he frustated me. I want to know the real natsume even if it wil bring me in danger. Believe me, it will bring me in danger.

hey guys! here's the next chapter.

i wanted to say that i'm not sorry for the author note i posted (i did delete it, i have to continue the story without the author note in between:p) even if it sounded immature and kind of rude. i'm just having a really rough time right now and with people being mean like that, really upsets me.

i mean i can take critical reviews, i really can. but if your critic is about me and not about my story, just don't talk. i know my english isn't that great. english isn't my first or second language. (i'm asian and i was born in the netherlands). i''m really trying to improve it. i'm even planning to study in england next year. if you don't like it, don't read my story. no one is forcing you to.

love my readers and thank you for your support! i got some really nice reviews, thank you for understanding!

love you guys

xxhanna!